Chapter two: First date and into to the Wheel of Dating Tropes!
Xxxx
Pyrrha finally placed the last tissue into Nora's nose while said girl was still thinking about Ren in a maid's outfit.
"So sexy and cute."
"Is she gonna be alright?" asked Jaune.
"No idea, but if she sees anymore images of Ren like that then she might die." She said as the screen changed to show Omni cleaning up some blood.
"Welcome back to RDCS! The one show where blood is available to the world! I'm your host Omni and this is my hostess Cynthia!"
"Hello!"
"Now after a long time of votes we have our first pick." He pointed to a large board with names on it. "So let's find out who dates Ren. Lilithmon? Poison? Arrietty? Cardina? Diana? An Ren? Bastet? Fallen Archangel Coco? Zap? Hong Meiling? Elizabeth Báthory? Or Astolfo?"
The screen showed a said girls pictures and a bar graph as we find it was…..lacking.
"...huh. So by two votes, the winner of this date is Poison." He pointed to said woman. "Hopefully she's not like Glynda in bed."
"Sweet, guess I get first taste." she smirked at Ren.
'Oh god. She's going to...ugh I don't know what's she's going to do.'
Omni walked towards the wall before summoning a massive wheel with several pictures ranging from normal to….very erotic. "This is the WHEEL OF TROPES! And with this, you can pick what kind of date will happen, up to thirty at a time though in this case as well...the possibilities are as endless as Qrow's drinking problem."
"Who spins it?" asked Cynthia.
"Ren of course. It's his game show." He said while looking at the screen. "So audience, lets watch as this virgin becomes a man!"
"Um, can I just take her out on a walk?" he asked.
"No." He deadpanned. "That's boring and even Ozpin would find that lacking."
"It's true." Muttered said headmaster to himself. "A simple walk would be lacking in quality."
"Ozpin you're not helping." frowned Glynda.
"What? It's my honest opinion."
Omni pointed to the wheel. "Now, spin the WHEEL OF TROPES!"
He groaned while looking at the other girls, who where either interested in him getting a strange trope or wishing him luck. He walked over to the wheel, grabbed it, and gave it a spun.
And it went REALLY fast, like chainsaw fast.
"Wow." Ruby said in shock. "That's faster than me."
"If it's something raunchy I pray they cut away from it." spoke Weiss.
"Or not." Blake deadpanned. "He did show incest and blood on screen, so he might….show porn."
The wheel spun faster and faster as it started to catch fire.
Cynthia smiled and held out a marshmallow next to it.
Only for it to melt away and dropped in Zap's mouth.
"Mmmm, zap." The pink slime said with a grin.
"Hey that was mine!"
"Zap." The slime said before slithering away as the wheel started to slow down.
Click.
Click.
Click….click.
Ren gulped as it began to slowly reach something. 'Please don't let it be crazy!'
Omni looked at it while cleaning his robe. "Huh, this is interesting." He pointed to the screen. "Our first date is a boxing match! With them fighting to the so called death!"
"What?!"
The deity pointed to the two of them before snapping his fingers and changed their clothes into boxing outfits with large cartoonish boxing gloves as the room became a large stadium. "In this corner! With a fixation of pancakes and a cock the size of a middle finger! Give it up for Lie Ren!"
The crowd cheered while An Ren blushed at the mention of the cock size, although some of the girls like Lilithmon were getting very horny or embarrassed.
'That little pig is going down.' Thought Elizabeth Báthory with a smirk.
"Don't go telling that!" yelled Ren.
"Too late!" Omni yelled out while turning to Poison. "And in this corner! With a boob size that makes little girls and Weiss cry like babies! Give it up for Poison!"
The crowd cheered while Poison posed a little and punched the air with a few jabs.
"Now!" The deity yelled out. "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!"
Cynthia pulled out a paper sign that read 'Round One' on it.
Ding ding ding.
Ren gulped while Poison took a boxing stance with him trying to do the same. "How is this considered a date?"
"Don't worry." Poison said before hitting Ren in the face. "I'm accustomed to fighting."
"Ooh! Poison just landed a right hook! Oh the humanity of this craziness!" Omni yelled out while videotaping it. 'Hope Yui likes this.'
"Go! Do an uppercut!" Yang yelled out.
Ren groaned and shook his head before ducking from the next swing and tried moving back.
Poison then gave an uppercut to the boys face and then a blow to the jaw.
"Wow." Mercury said while watching the beatdown. "This is almost like the time you attacked that guy for grabbing your ass Emerald."
"He deserved it."
"Well in his defense, you do have a thick ass."
She glared and slugged him in the jaw.
"OW!"
At the same time, Ren went flying into the ropes while wiping away the blood.
'Ow, ok. This is almost as bad as boxing an Ursa!'
PUNCH!
Ren went to the right as he got hit in the left eye.
"Are you getting tired? Because I'm getting started handsome~"
'Maybe I should toss in the towel.' He thought before seeing Zap cheering him on.
"Renster! Go! Go go go!" She cheered on while using Fallen Archangel Coco as a pom pom.
"Hey! Stop that you fucker!"
The real Coco facepalmed while Velvet was cheering and looking really pumped up.
"Yes! Go for the kill!"
'Who knew she was a boxing fan.' thought Fox.
POW!
Ren went on the ground while covered in blood.
"One, two, three." Said Omni before Ren got up. "He's in it! Oh my god! He's back up and ready to regain his pride!"
"Ow...ow...ow."
Ding ding ding!
"Oh it's the end of round one! Will the Biggus Dickus win this fight or fail like a Beowolf in a skating rink?"
"I feel…..sore…"
Cynthia raised a sign reading 'Round two' on it.
Ding ding ding!
POW!
He got hit in the stomach as Nora was looking very worried.
"Ren! Don't give up! You are better at this! Please! Beat that bimbo!"
"He can't hear you."
"Shut up Pyrrha! I'm trying to cheer my man on!"
Ren groaned while feeling very sore before punching Poison in the boobs.
"Oh right in the chest!" Omni yelled out. "Oh, this is getting good! The biggus dickus is getting ready for a counter strike! How will the venomous Poison counter this hunter of pain?!"
'At this point it's way too easy for me.' Poison thought while slugging Ren in the crotch.
"AHHHH!"
Ding ding!
"You got a red flag!" Cynthia called out. "It's illegal!"
"What? He hit me in the boobs."
"No punching below the belt."
"Fine."
Cinder looked on while looking a little interested. "Take a note Emerald, start boxing practice after the invasion."
"After I beat Mercury into submission." She frowned while punching Mercury for groping her ass again.
"Ow ow ow ow!"
Ren winced and curled up on the ring. 'It's official, I need to just surrender.'
"Hey get up." Omni called out. "You have one more...wait. What am I thinking!? One, two, three, four-"
Ren groaned while feeling a little hurt as An Ren looked a little concerned.
"Um, go Ren?" She cheered on with a blush. "You're doing well?"
"I can't...feel myself….down there."
"Come on biggus dickus!" Lilithmon called out. "You can do it! Even the wonder boobs can do it!"
"Hey!" Wonder Woman frowned.
Poison tapped her foot on the ground. "Really? This is what you can accomplish? Boring."
That's when Ren felt something snapping inside him, yes he may not feel his lower regions but being called boring after getting slugged? That's pushing it by a lot. Heck he fought Grimm for a living. He tried to slowly push himself up with a grunt.
Poison smirked. "Looks like you have some spunk."
"Same for you….gorilla." He grunted while getting up and looked serious.
"Oh boy." Yang said with a gulp. "Ren's going to get the snot punched out of him."
"Why?" Ruby asked.
"You don't call a girl that."
"Oh really?" Poison frowned with a serious look. "You might have looks, but you sure don't have brains."
He moved his arms up before willing himself to use his aura to increase his speed. "Then try and hit me."
POW!
She blinked as she completely missed and saw Ren's arm reaching out and slugged her in the left eye. "Gah!"
'This might hurt me afterwards but I'll show that girl not to call me boring!'
"Ooh! Look at that! The biggus dickus gave the venom fighter a slug! Oh the humanity! This is going to be a good one or my name isn't Alabama Bigbong! Which it is not!"
"Yay!" cheered Cynthia.
Ren, using his new speed, gave blow after blow to the pink haired woman while trying to do a knockout blow. 'Come on! Just fall!'
Jaune looked on in surprise while Nora was cheering louder and louder.
"GO REN! BEAT THAT BITCH!" She yelled out as Ren punched Poison in the jaw. "YAHOO!"
'Fuck! Where'd this guy get this boost of speed?' She thought before seeing him hitting her in the gut. "Gah!"
Ren felt his aura about to be depleted as he moved under her and used the last of it to power his right arm. "FALL!"
PUNCH!
"GAH!" She cried out while getting a upper cut to the jaw. 'Just like that man.'
DING DING DING!
"KO!" Omni yelled out as Poison went flying into the ceiling. "The winner of the boxing date is Lie Ren! The biggus dickus of Anima!"
Ren groaned and fell on his butt while panting. 'By Dust….that was painful.'
Nora cried out while hugging Pyrrha and Jaune tightly. "YES! REN WON!"
"Gah! We...know."
The stage changed back into the RDCS location as Cynthia was busy getting Poison out of the ceiling.
"Congratulations!" Omni grinned. "How do you feel winning against a woman that fought super powered fighters and soul taking dictators?"
"Like I should've...thrown in the towel."
"That would have worked too, but remember Nora might have cried for days if you did that. I know that Cynthia would do that if my pal did the same." Omni looked at the screen. "Oh Torchwick, I think you should hire this guy. He's a bodyguard in the making."
Said man shrugged and smoked his cigar. "Neo is better at that then a hunter that got pummeled."
Said girl nodded while Ren got up and tried staggering out of the ring.
Omni snapped his fingers while healing Ren's body. "Ok, lets now go to the board of love!"
A large board with a large heart with a percentage sign appeared next to him as Poison finally got out of the ceiling.
"Using our infinite information we shall see how comparable you will be. And no it's not biased, I maybe a god but I'm not doing forgery." He said while Cynthia was looking in Poison's pants.
"Mmmmm."
"Hey! Get out of there!" she slapped Cynthia's hands making her pout.
"I was just curious."
"Just stop, unless you have cash that is." She smirked as Weiss went wide eyed.
"Oh god! She's a prostitute if she's so casual about that towards a child!"
"Prostitute?" Ruby asked. "What's that?"
"When you're older." Yang warned.
"Aw!"
The board started to show numbers before it stopped at '30%'.
"My, I thought it was going to be bigger." Omni said with a sigh.
"What happens now?" asked Ren.
"Oh she goes back to her own dimension and I add a new girl." He smiled. "But I have to say one thing before I do that. All percentages that are lower than thirty percent will be going home."
ZOOP!
A portal appeared next to Poison while Lilithmon sighed.
"Well I hope the next girl is a fan of whips." She licked her lips. "Or bondage in general."
Glynda sighed in relief as she felt a little embarrassed at this particular woman, for personal reasons.
"Works for me, I've got better stuff to do anyway." remarked Poison. "As for you." She pointed to Ren with her whip. "Next time you come to my terf, I'll show you a good time."
WHIP!
"A very good time with my whip that is~" she winked making Ren pale before she walked through the portal which closed.
Omni chuckled. "Looks like you got a sparring partner. Hope you get better or you might become her bitch."
He paled as another portal appeared behind Omni.
And zooming in fast came a rather short, of about one hundred and sixty two centimetres, girl with fair skin, pink lips, short somewhat scruffy black hair with violet streaks, brown eyes with lavender eyeshadow. She wore a black and yellow suit of armor, that made her D cup chest and large ass apparent, with yellow discs on her wrists and boots with each one sporting a red spot in the center, a matching helmet, and black underclothing with a hint of red linings.
"Meet Go Go Tomago of Dimension 345-BS! She's a tomboy from San Fransokyo who's in college and is a superhero named Gogo! She built that suit by the way along with her team the Big Hero Six."
"What the? Hey, where am I?"
"Welcome to RCDS. In this game show you're going to date him." He pointed to Ren. "In a series of challenges to see if we can get Ren a harem or a girlfriend."
She looked at him before blowing a bubblegum. "Uh huh, yeah that's not gonna happen. Now tell me just where I am buddy."
"It's a secret." He gave a thumbs up. "And you can't leave because you're in the presence of a god and goddess in training."
"You...a god?"
He pointed to her before causing her suit to vanish, leaving her naked. "Yep. And wow that's a hairy bush."
She jumped and covered her spots with a blush making Yang cover Ruby's eyes, again.
"Hey! Stop that!" Ruby yelled out. "I've seen your bush!"
"You need to keep as much of your innocence as possible!"
Ren popped a nosebleed while Omni looked at the screen.
"Ok one down and many more to go! So who will be next? Lilithmon? Go Go? Arrietty? Cardina? Diana? An Ren? Bastet? Fallen Archangel Coco? Zap? Hong Meiling? Elizabeth Báthory? Or Astolfo? Leave your votes in the reviews and we will be back soon!"
The screen on the Scrolls then started to show Ren cooking pancakes while Nora was giving him a kiss on the lips in her underwear.
Nora saw this and realized it was her from this morning. "AHHHHH! NO! DON'T SHOW THE WORLD MY UNDERWEAR!"
"Too late~" Cynthia called out as a 'To be continued' sign appeared in front of Nora.
'NOOOOOO! NOT MY PINK PANTIES!'