This is so fucked up.
Jessa and Adam had been circling each other for months. Jessa swore she wasn't going to start another fucked up drama but here it is. She'd been taking her sobriety seriously, no seriously, and studying, honest to god studying, but now despite her spoken intentions she was going to explode her friendship with Hannah. She was gonna break Hannah's fucking heart and she knew it, consciously knew it.
Adam didn't understand this. What the fuck did Hannah have to do with anything? She was with that dick with a girl's name. So what? So he has to be a fucking celibate or whatever because of a woman who clearly didn't want him anymore? Yeah, okay, so that was his fuckin' fault. He'd screwed up, admitted it and was ready to move on. His acting career was taking off, sort of. He'd evolved and felt like he had something more to offer a woman now.
Hannah, who doesn't even know what the fuck she wants, was angry with both of them and Jessa was mad about that and Adam was mad at both of them for being mad. It was a maddening triangle. But after the story slam, getting it all out in a room full of strangers, Hannah finally felt free.
But they didn't know this yet.
After their blowout fight and violent make-up sex, they lay on the floor, Jessa staring up at the ceiling and Adam panting on his side covered in sweat. "You wanta go to a meeting?" he asked.
"And say what? 'Hi, I'm Jessa and I fucked over my best friend'?"
"I thought I was your friend, too," he said throatily.
"I'm not sure what we are," she said tiredly, feeling dead inside.
"I thought we were working on something. Fuck. I thought this was going somewhere. We're living together. We take care of my baby niece together. Maybe we could, we could raise a child together," he suggested haltingly.
"Are you kidding me? A couple of addicts raising a baby - not a recipe for success."
He shook his head. "Not true. Not true. We could build something together, something decent."
She looked around at the destroyed furniture of the wrecked apartment. "I am not mother material. Besides I swore I would never be a mother, I decided when I was thirteen."
He lifted his head. "What? Did you have an abortion or something? At thirteen?"
"No! I did not have an abortion at thirteen." She sighed heavily, "I already knew I would never be capable of being the type of mother any child deserves."
"You can't decide something like that at thirteen. You're not a fully formed person at that age," he insisted.
"I had terrible role models. Anyway, what makes you think you're dad material? Just because you know what infants can and cannot digest?"
"I fuckin' read and I may not have my shit totally together yet but I'm moving in that direction." He rolled over on his back. "You're selling yourself short."
"Oh, really? I'm selling myself short? You can't even watch your own work. How insecure is that?"
He sat up and pulled his jeans back on. "I don't want to fight again. I'm goin' to a meeting." He stood and extended his hand. "Come with me. Please."
"Fuck." She decided to take his hand.