Ding.
The elevator's doors slowly opened and a gentle flow of air brushed through my hair as I walked through. It was empty, and that was perfect. My stomach was already about to twist into a pretzel, and it wasn't because I needed to submit the most crucial piece of work that would define the rest of my career. I took a deep breath and pushed the elevator button and hoped it would get me to the seventh floor with no delay. Time had been no friend towards me all morning and it was amazing how many bad events had happened within the last two hours. As the doors began to close, my mind raced with endless possibilities on why choosing the elevator was the worst option. Maybe the emptiness wasn't perfect.
A shout came from around the corner, "Hold that door, will ya?"
Puzzled at how my thought conjured its way into existence, I stood and blinked. Maybe it all was going to be fine. Just maybe my day would get better -
"I need-"
I shook it off and hurried to reopen the door. In the last possible moment, a tall slender man hopped through the door and exhaled deeply. When the blond hair moved from his eyes, my stomach decided to completely turn into a pretzel. The day was not in anyway getting any better. My nerves couldn't handle him being in here; I rolled my eyes, and crossed my arms hard against my chest.
"Granger," he added a nod to his greeting.
The elevator started to move up, and so did my insides. Nothing about this was a good idea. I should've taken the stairs and risked being late. Being late would have been better than riding on this blasted elevator with him. I held my breath and swallowed down the rock that was moving up through my internal pretzel.
"Are you going to be ok?" He asked as if he cared.
I shifted my stance in hopes to shake off the discomfort, "Of course...yes."
He hadn't moved from the doors and wasn't holding on to anything. Why would anyone not want to hold onto anything while being in this monstrosity? Nothing was ever wrong with him, Draco Malfoy always had it together, and if he didn't - he was very good at concealing it. Except for the time he was in distress at the work Christmas party a few months ago; even then he brushed it off and the night went on. I narrowed my eyes at him as he shrugged and turned to face the doors.
Five more floors to go, and this day would only be half way done. It was something to look forward to, but I was curious about why Draco hadn't thrown any insults my way, yet. Four more floors. I studied him in hopes to keep my mind off of how I was traveling and what it was doing to me. It was beginning to work - he was heavier on one foot and held his briefcase tight. He was tapping it with his finger as if he was trying to keep his mind preoccupied. Does it matter? No… But I had always wondered what went on in his mind. When I looked elsewhere, the churning moved to my throat, and this time I couldn't ignore it. I felt sick. Being late and ridiculed by my boss would have been better than tossing my cookies in front of Draco.
"If you hum, it calms your nerves." I didn't have to look at him to know he didn't speak through gritted teeth. What was up with him? The silence was uncomfortable, but I'm sure, completely positive, my humming would make it more than uncomfortable. Wasn't there supposed to be music or something in this thing to help with these types of unsettling times? I had read up on the person who invented elevators and how people raved on the amount of time it saved, but honestly… wouldn't you want to feel comfortable about something and know you're protected before jumping into something that could potentially be a danger?
"You better start humming, because if you do something you'll regret, I will not let you live it down." He turned, and the expected sneer wasn't there. It was a disgusted expression mixed with something else. But who wouldn't feel disgusted if the person next to you in a very close quarter was about to hurl at your feet? Nothing this day held was the least bit expected.
I took a deep breath, when I saw we had three more floors. I began to hum and create my own elevator music. I wasn't sure what I was humming, nor how loud, but I tightly closed my eyes and pictured walking up the stairs - something regularly comforting. At first, I was humiliated, but then, when my hum of a random melody turned into an actual composure of my favorite piano piece, I felt calmer. The boiling in my stomach had ceased and it was starting to untwist from its pretzel state. My throat was dry, but that was bearable. Draco had been… helpful? I continued to hum.
His voice broke my concentration, "That's not good."
And there it was. The flurries of insults headed my way. The trap I stupidly feel for, and the joke I had easily become. That was something I should've expected. Something unpleasant coming from someone equally as unpleasant. I instantly took that thought back; he hasn't been the least bit unpleasant for years - at least to me he hasn't been.
I abruptly stopped humming and was about to question him when I noticed he was staring at the floor numbers above the door. My nerves had settled only for a moment. My brain was trying to logically come up with a reason for the light not moving up past the fifth floor.
"What did you do?" I was now trying to rationalize not being able to feel the rising elevator. "This can't be happening. Not today."
Draco started to push random buttons on the control panel, but nothing was working. Screeching sounds gradually got louder and then bam. Nothing moved nor made a sound. At least from the elevator.
My heart was thudding in my ears and my blood was pumping harder than ever before. Riding the elevator was horrible enough, but being stuck on one?
"Will you stop pacing? There's nothing we can do except wait." He was oddly calm for being stuck in a dangerous situation.
My head was spinning with possible spells to use, but fear was scrambling my thoughts; I couldn't think straight. The movement from the elevator was slower than how dizzy I was beginning to feel. My lungs were beginning to constrict and my throat was swollen. "I can't, this isn't supposed to happen. Not again." Confessions poured out. "I promised myself I wouldn't let… let something like this happen. Again."
I slid down one of the elevator walls and held my knees to my chest. My eyes began to water; I didn't want any of this to happen, I was stronger than this… but it felt as the control I once had, slipped through my fingers.
"Good gracious, Granger. What in Merlin's name has you so upset?" Hearing Draco hadn't made my nerves any better.
"Oh, goodness." It slipped out of my thoughts. My distress must have been very noticeable - I honestly couldn't tell.
I did, however, notice the concern in his expression as he sat next to me and it took me by surprise when he wasn't hesitant about wrapping his arm around my shoulders. At first, I leaned away and stared at him. In the five years we had worked together, we learned to tolerate one another, and even through my heightened levels of panic, I knew we weren't this close. When he kept his arm around me and pulled me back to him, the feeling of amazement started to rip its way past my distress. Whatever he was doing was covering the distress and for some reason, it was comforting and I enjoyed it. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest.
After a couple of minutes, Draco broke the silence, "Here. Breath with me." He began to take deep breaths and my body mimicked. "There." It was simple again, I was beginning to regularly breathe without thinking.
As the air began to easily enter my lungs, my brain was able to straighten out my thoughts - for the most part. Instead of assessing the situation at hand, I was reminded of last year's Christmas party. The party was almost at an end, and Astoria and I were chatting near the food table about how she was able to focus more on her career now that she was single. We worked great together and got along well, but it was strange to discuss anything past work. Once the dust settled after the war, it wasn't a surprise when it was announced she was with Draco; the surprise was when Draco abruptly ended it five years later. As she talked about her work progressing, she was obviously distraught, however it wasn't about Draco leaving her. She wanted him to be happy, and she accepted that she couldn't be the one to give him that. I was excited about getting closer to her, but for some reason it was a tad awkward talking about Draco. She raved how well he treated her and how surprised she was about how much of a gentleman he had become - she was sure he would make any girl proud. I politely smiled and nodded as she kept going - the quieter I was, the shorter the conversation would be.
When I came to my senses, my eyes opened and I was still wrapped up against Draco. My cheeks started to burn, and it wasn't because of anxiety. I unwrapped my arms from him and quickly scooted away and sat against the wall. He flattened out his suit and continued to sit next to me.
My voice was shaky, "Oh… I'm sorry. I, um, I'm fine now…" My eyes were locked on a black spec on the wall across from us. Even though I was trying hard to stay focused on feeling slightly better, I could feel tension starting to build in the short distance between us. I began to pull my wand out in hopes of coming up with an idea.
"That won't work. You know that." Draco's words were stiff. Something was making him uncomfortable. I couldn't see how he was uncomfortable, I was the one who almost had a panic attack and needed to be coddled like a toddler. "It's a Muggle elevator."
"Yes, I do know." I snapped. "I know," I continued softer, "I just want out…" There was no music nor any more comments from Draco and the silence was digging at my soul. I needed a distraction and my mind spoke before I could control it. "Thank you… for," I waved my hand between us.
He stammered, "Oh, yeah… anytime." We both awkwardly adjusted where we sat. "Well, I mean… no problem."
"Yeah, I understand," butterflies flutter in my stomach; that was added to the long list of unexpected things that had been happening. The surprising thing about it was how enjoyable it made me feel.
"Are you going to be ok?" His soft voice left me speechless. "You're not going to be sick again are you?" He dramatically leaned away from me with a half smile.
I rolled my eyes, "I'll be fine, and no, I'm not going to be sick," a chuckle came out, "I was just thinking about something." Draco positioned himself back on the wall, but was about an inch or two closer to me than he was earlier - maybe. I took a deep breath. "Stairs are sturdier than elevators. They don't break down - at least Muggle stairs don't. I can trust them more than elevators." The explanation in my head sounded a lot better than how it sounded out loud.
"What's different about today?"
I spoke before thinking, "Everything." Sadness in my voice was very evident. I rubbed my face in hopes of trying to hold back tears. Moments passed before I spoke again. "Draco? Can I ask you something?" As I watched him adjust his nice suit and fidget with his fingers, he nodded. Something was bothering him. "Can you not tell people about my little… mishap?" I started to twirl a strand of my hair.
He cocked his head, "I'm not going to make fun of you if that's what you're asking."
My eyes grew, "No! That's not what I'm saying! I'm sorry!" I turned towards him, "I just mean, I don't want people to hear about it. I mean… goodness." Insulting him was the last thing on my mind. I was a little crushed to even think about doing that to him.
A playful smile crossed his face, "What don't you want people to know? The part where you almost had a panic attack or the part where you hugged me like you enjoyed it?"
I gasped, "Excuse me? That.. is…not true." I started to laugh nervously as my cheeks started to burn. "I didn't hug you…"
"Oh, no? I think you did."
As I stood up and walked to the middle of the elevator, I was proud of my knees not giving out on me and making a bigger fool out of myself. I stood with my hands on my hips and stood as tall as my nerves would let me. His charm would not get the better of me; like it did to most. After Astoria, Draco was never defined as a bachelor, but he wasn't one to neglect his inner irresistible charm. I heard him shuffle from behind me and when I turned around, Draco was standing inches from me.
"Oh, don't try that on me, Draco Malfoy." I raised an eyebrow.
He rubbed the back of his neck, "What?" The coyish smile he held almost dug deeper into me.
My eyes inevitably rolled, "You know what. And just because you think I'm a damsel in distress or something, doesn't mean you can treat me like one of those meaningless girls you flirt with." I was starting to reject how jealous that made me.
"Well, Hermione Granger, that's where you're wrong."
"How so?"
"You're too strong to be a damsel and you have never been meaningless."
Draco took a step forward and my jaw slightly fell. I knew exactly what he was trying to do… find something to insult me with or push me into something so I would make a fool of myself. My brain searched for the last time he insulted or bullied me and I was coming up blank. There were times at work when he would be forceful and had thrown insults at people, but it had never been towards me. For the most part, he typically didn't talk to me, let alone flirt with me. Until the Christmas party, and then again now.
My eyes narrowed, "And you want me to believe what you're saying to me is true?" Honestly, I wanted to, but I pushed the thought down before I spat it out like a mad person. Draco casually shrugged. "Listen, I might have believed you more if you wouldn't have left me on the terrace at the Christmas party." I crossed my arms across my chest.
His face went sour, "From where I was standing, you were not alone."
"If you would've come back, you would've known what was happening. Why try again now if it bothered you so much?"
"I don't know…"
My stare hardened, "See? You're just trying to play with my -"
Before I spoke my last word, he scooped me into his arms. Our lips barely touched as he whispered, "I've been fighting it for months, until I saw you at the Christmas party."
My throat was as dry as a desert, "Was it real for you, though?"
He gently put his forehead against mine and nodded. My head was spinning and I left as if I was beginning to float. The day started off with more than a couple of unexpected turns and delays, but this… this more than unexpected. It wasn't until he lowered his lips to mine when I realized I had been deeply yearning for this since the Christmas party.
We pulled away from each other when the lights flickered and soft music began to play throughout the elevator. My nerves were getting restless and when there was a jolt of movement from the cables in the elevator shaft, my knees almost gave out. Draco tightened his grip around me and began to breathe deeply; I mimicked him. Mixed emotions ran through me when I felt the elevator start to move, but as I followed Draco's breathing patterns, I chose to keep a lock onto his touch, his comfort. We locked eyes with one another until there was a slow stop. I gulped, hoping we weren't stuck again.
Draco peeled his eyes from me and examined the numbers above the closed doors. A smile crept across his face as he turned back down to me. For a moment, I was afraid of what would happen if the doors would open. Would we go back to how things were? Distant? Or would I be more afraid of exploring a relationship with someone like Draco Malfoy: the man who proved himself worthy, the man who goes above and beyond, the man who turned into a gentleman?
He loosened his grip and interlaced his fingers with mine, "Hermione Granger, all I ask is for you to think about it. After work, I always go to the coffee shop across the street when I'm in the area. Be there?"
My heart fluttered and my stomach flipped and it was all because of Draco this time.
Ding.
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