The Flower of Duscur
Despite the loss suffered by Garreg Mach in the five years of war while Byleth slept, the sturdy glass of the greenhouse remained intact. Within, flowers thrived of all species. Amidst all the death and destruction five years of war brought, life continued here, flourished even. Byleth didn't understand how exactly. Without anyone present at the monastery to water the plants, how was it so many of them survived?
Garreg Mach remained a ghost town now, even with her old students back roaming the halls. Dimitri spent most of his time alone and muttering to himself, while the others reconnected with each other after so long apart. To Byleth, it was all a bit overwhelming, so she found herself in the greenhouse searching for solace after a long day.
She reached a hand, scarred and callused from her many years working as a mercenary, to one of the most beautiful of the flowers. It grew barely an inch above the soil, but its pink blossoms stood out amongst the green shrubbery surrounding it where the weeds grew out of control.
"They are from Duscur," Dedue told her once, when she was but a teacher and he but a simple student, alive and well. "They require a dry environment. The roots will rot otherwise."
Now that her attention focused on these pink flowers, she noticed that they spread from their corner where Dedue once pointed them out to almost the entirety of the greenhouse floor. This explained why the greenhouse appeared to be thriving despite the lack of care: the flowers of Duscur survived all this time without water. They were used to being independent.
Duscur… Dedue…
It felt like no time at all passed since Byleth last saw everyone in that fateful battle at Garreg Mach, and yet…
Everyone and everything changed.
And the solitude of this greenhouse wouldn't be the same without Dedue.
"I thought I might be able to find you in here, Professor."
Byleth relaxed from her kneeling position and sat cross-legged on the floor. She took off her gardening gloves and wiped her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand, smearing a coat of dirt on her skin. Ashe sat down next to her and smiled, picking up the spade she had been using to dig up the brown remains of plants buried beneath the green.
"We're all worried about His Highness, but I want you to know that we're worried about you, too," Ashe said, reaching into the thick of it and gently scooping up a small pile of dry soil. "You can't fix everything by yourself. I'd be happy to help out here."
"You do know more than I do about plants," Byleth admitted. But something tugged within her, something unfamiliar, and she squeezed the gloves in her hands. "Ah, well, I think I've got this mostly taken care of, though. If you don't mind helping out in the kitchen? I'm sure the others would rather eat your cooking than mine."
Ashe nodded, letting the soil fall back to the ground. "That sounds fair. Is there anything specific that you would like to eat? We don't have much, but I can try to make something with what we have."
Byleth shook her head and slipped her hands back into the gardening gloves. She yanked at a weed in between a few pink blossoms and added it to her growing pile between herself and Ashe. Ashe said his goodbyes and had just made it to the creaking greenhouse doors when Byleth stopped again and turned to look back at him.
"Hold on, Ashe."
His hand lingered on the ornate, but dusty, door. "Did you think of something, Professor?"
"Did Dedue ever teach you any recipes from Duscur?"
Her voice was quieter than usual. Byleth never said much, as all the Blue Lions knew, but Ashe had never heard her so timid before, almost as if she was embarrassed to say it. Byleth, and most of her class of students, got along well with Dedue. Only Ingrid and Felix didn't have many nice things to say about him.
So, why the embarrassment?
Still, it wasn't Ashe's place to question it. He just smiled at his professor. "He taught me a couple of them. I doubt it will be much the same as his cooking, but I can try to recreate one of them for supper tonight if you like."
"I would like that," she responded and returned to work weeding the garden.
No one would suspect it—or if they did, they would never speak aloud of it—but the guilt hit Byleth hard. Her time alone in the greenhouse was both cathartic and isolating, and it allowed her to think about all she missed during those years.
She let her students down. If she had been there, what fate would have befallen the Kingdom? Surely she alone would not have made all the difference, but she could have kept Dimitri from falling down this dark path he now carved for himself. She could have kept the Blue Lions together, organized them into a team sooner than now. Maybe she could have saved Dedue.
It was no use thinking about the "what ifs" of five years' time. All the same, Byleth kept running the possibilities through her mind. She had been unable to save her father, and now she had been unable to help her students—her friends.
All she could do now was prove herself on the battlefield as a leader. They managed to defend themselves against the Imperial troops who came to take back Garreg Mach, thanks in part to Byleth's direction. The following moon, they secured troops at Ailell, despite a setback thanks to a rat in their forces.
But were those just flukes? Did Byleth know what she was doing?
The first real test of their strength and Byleth's leadership skills would be taking the Great Bridge of Myrddin. Thanks to Claude, passage through Gloucester territory would be mostly smooth, leaving their small army to deal with just the Imperial army guarding the bridge. This would be no small feat, especially since Byleth needed to constantly watch Dimitri out of the corner of her eye to make sure he didn't risk all their lives.
Byleth could not imagine what sort of horrors Dimitri saw in the five years she slept. She would say he had changed, except she suspected this had been within him all the time she knew him. Not even Rodrigue's presence soothed the beast, as she hoped it might, and his behavior put everyone else on edge, too.
She understood, of course. He had been right, just now. She took up her sword in pursuit of Monica five years ago… all for revenge. And Dimitri told her back then, too, that the only reason he came to the Officers Academy was for revenge. If she stepped in his shoes, would she also thirst for revenge as he did?
But Felix was right, too. They had all lost someone, some sooner than others. Felix lost his brother, Ingrid her fiancé, Ashe his parents and adoptive father, Mercedes her mother, Annette her father even as he stood there with them, Sylvain his brother, Byleth her father. Still, they fought on. Still, they retained their humanity.
So, all Byleth could do was make sure no one else got lost, too.
All part of the job, she told herself as they got into formation on the bridge. She could see the wheels turning in Dimitri's head through his visible eye, but when he noticed her looking, he glared at her and turned away.
"Attack Ladislava and take the bridge," Rodrigue ordered. "Shall we begin?"
Byleth raised her left hand, the one free of the Sword of the Creator, and let it linger in the air for a moment. She wondered if anyone noticed how she shook.
"Attack!" she shouted, lowering her hand like a whip.
They fought on, the clashing of metal on metal like a symphony in the background. It was only when an unexpected voice broke through the chorus that Byleth hesitated, and her opponent got in a hit. Ashe fired an arrow, knocking down the man who clipped Byleth's shoulder.
She put pressure on the wound but turned back without much attention to the battle around her anymore. And for the first time in the many moons since their reunion, Byleth saw humanity on Dimitri's face once again, if only for a moment.
"Dedue…"
The sound stopped. Byleth's ears rang as soon as she heard Dimitri say that name, and she looked further back to see the man of Duscur she believed dead standing among their ranks.
Lips moved, words exchanged, and Byleth heard none of it. It wasn't until a hand smacked down on her opposite shoulder than she was thrown back into reality. "Pay attention!" Felix yelled. "You're going to get yourself killed!"
Right. Now wasn't the time. She had to make it through this battle alive, make sure they all made it through this battle alive, and then she could disappear into herself again. What sort of illusion could this be to distract her so during an important battle like this?
An illusion… yes, an illusion. Was it so?
The Blue Lions, reunited once again, gathered for supper the next evening upon their return to Garreg Mach. Only two members of their former House were absent from this celebration both of victory and of Dedue's return.
The two members who needed to be there and were not.
No one was surprised by Dimitri's absence. He had not joined his old classmates for a meal since their reunion, leaving Felix to suspect that he feasted on the remains of wild animals to satisfy his lust for blood, much to Ingrid's disgust.
But Byleth? She went out of her way to make sure no one ever ate alone, even if that meant she sat with an empty plate while the other person ate. For her not to be here with everyone meant something was wrong.
Instead, Byleth sat in the silence of the greenhouse. The trickling of rain hitting the glass roof soothed her like a lullaby as she pulled out more weeds. There seemed to be an endless amount. No matter how many invaders she removed, more always appeared. She never had the touch when it came to keeping them out.
The sound of rain prevented Byleth from hearing another person entering the greenhouse. She continued her work, wiping the sweat from her face with her muddy arm.
In the dark, one might have confused the beads of sweat on her cheeks for tears.
She jumped when she noticed another person knelt beside her. "Dedue! You shouldn't be here!"
"My apologies for startling you, Professor. The others were wondering where you were, and Ashe suggested I might find you here to invite you to dinner," Dedue said. His voice had not changed, not like Dimitri's had, in the past five years.
"No, I'm… I'm busy, I…" Byleth dropped her gloves to her side and stood up. "You need to go back and tell the others I'm not coming."
Dedue stood, as well. He always towered over her—over everyone, really. But he was the only one who she needed to look up to, literally, and to others, it could be intimidating. Byleth, though, found comfort in his size.
And Goddess, how she missed him. Standing by his side now looking up into his green eyes, she remembered the connection she felt with him. And he had been dead, he had been gone, just like she had. But only she remembered it all like it was yesterday. Those five years did not exist to her.
"Very well." Dedue bowed and turned to leave. Byleth watched him, making sure he really left. Then it was just the rain trickling again.
She sighed and hurried out after him. "Dedue!" she called, holding a hand over her brow to shield her eyes from the rain.
He turned back. "Yes?"
"Come back to the greenhouse tomorrow morning."
He nodded, and then continued through the rain back to the dining hall. Byleth stood in the rain for a minute longer watching him disappear into the darkness, until she couldn't see him through the rain anymore.
For now, it was back to work.
The work took all night, and the sun barely had risen before Dedue entered the greenhouse as per Byleth's request. She knew him to be an early riser, always the first to awaken in case Dimitri needed anything, but sometimes she beat him to the greenhouse on a rare occasion. Spending the entire night there guaranteed she'd be first.
She nearly dozed off a couple of times in the night, but she fought through the weight that sat on her eyelids. By the time Dedue arrived, though, sleep captivated her, and she lay on the floor with one hand still in the soil.
"Professor," Dedue tried first, as putting his hands on her seemed wrong somehow. When she did not stir, no other choice could be made. He put a hand on her shoulder, careful not to touch the bandages covering her wound from the other day's battle. "Professor, wake up."
She stirred, groaning slightly as she rolled onto her back. Blinking the fog away, she sat up when her vision cleared enough to see Dedue above her.
"Dedue!"
"This is not an appropriate location to rest. I advise you to return to your quarters and get some rest," he said.
Byleth scrambled to her feet, brushing the dirt off her clothes as best she could. "No, no, I'm fine. I'm glad you came."
Like Byleth, Dedue did not often display his emotions clearly on his face, but his eyes betrayed the confusion he felt. "Yesterday you said that I did not belong here, and today you are glad I am here."
Byleth winced as the words she said returned to her. "I'm sorry. It came out wrong. I didn't want you to see the greenhouse until it was ready. I've been working the past few moons on it to get it back to its former glory, but…" Byleth held out her hand and stepped out of the way of her work. "This is all I could do."
In the light of day, the greenhouse came to life. Dedue's gaze fell on the pink flowers of Duscur first. The weeds had been removed completely, leaving the flowers at the forefront. They were no longer hidden away in the corner as they had been before, but directly in the middle where everyone could see them right when they walked into the greenhouse. The other flowers had been clipped and nurtured, complementing the pink flowers below like a crown might add magnificence.
Neither of them spoke for several minutes. Dedue walked around the greenhouse, leaning in to examine Byleth's work every now and again. He touched a few leaves, his fingertips brushing the green so delicately that one might think the leaf would shatter with anything more.
Last, he stopped back in front of the pink flowers and knelt down. He grabbed the shears from where Byleth left them on the ground and carefully snipped a flower away from the others.
"There is no literal translation into the language of Fódlan for the name of this flower, but it might be closest to call it the Beauty of the North," Dedue explained, setting the shears down and standing back up. The little flower appeared so tiny in his large hands. "This flower is native to the northernmost part of Duscur and thrives in the permafrost. There is no reason it should have survived here."
"It must be adaptable," Byleth suggested.
"Or it must have had a reason to survive." Dedue reached up and snaked the stem of the flower beneath Byleth's headband by her ear.
Byleth smiled, touching the petals of the flower in her hair. "We all have our reasons."
Dedue nodded and turned to look back down at the flowers of Duscur. "It is good to see you again, Professor."
"You, too, Dedue."
Whatever reasons the Beauty of the North had for surviving, and whatever reasons they all had for living, it was easier to survive together. And for the first time in five years, the silence of the greenhouse did not feel so lonely anymore.
Author's Note: Dedue is a good character, and I'm not sure he's appreciated enough.