"are you okay my dear?"
Minerva asked pulling her out of her thoughts and pausing her conversation with professor Slughorn who was still sticking around as a temporary potion's professor. He had willingly agreed to fill the position until such time they could find a permanent replacement. Not that he minded, he was teaching war heroes. He is going to need a new shelf. Sadly, they had yet to find a new permanent potions master that could come anywhere close to matching Severus' high standards.
"Hm, Oh yes. Everything's just going down the crapper, and I don't know how to fix it."
She grumbled, prodding her portion of shepherd's pie.
"The crapper?"
Asked Minerva in amusement, eyes twinkling a lot like the late headmaster used to do. Hermione caught the amusement in her tone and lifted her gaze from her plate to look at the older woman in disbelief.
"No. I'm not trying to fix the crapper. I am trying to fic what's in the crapper!"
She snapped, to which a round of laughter rose from the table, some of which was attempted to be muffled but it was unsuccessful.
"Well, as full as the crapper may be, I think your being to hard on yourself. You can't get everything right the first time."
Minerva told her wisely, an amused smile still on her lips due to her apprentice's interesting language. Hermione huffed in annoyance, her face flushed at the sound of laughter, as she tried not to admit – even to herself – that her words may have been amusing. Her hands shot up into the air as she responded to the Headmistress.
"But I always get it right the first time! I've never, ever become as stuck as I am now. I am not saying that I am perfect, but even if I don't know something straight away, I can usually find the answer in a book. I have been through everything! I've purchased god knows how many other books, some of which are rare and or one of a kind, and I am still as stuck as I was before!"
Hermione growled, frustrated and sounding far too much like a certain Severus Snape to the rest of the staff. At least in tone and body language at any rate. Despite the others at the head table and their attempts at unwinding the young Hermione, she was still frustrated after dinner and she still was stuck at the end of her thesis. She would just have to keep at it on her own, and hey could only hope by tomorrow she would be calmer if not happier.
Fortunately, by the time Hermione had reached her chambers she had less energy to dedicate to her frustration. Walking from one side of the castle to the other and then back again would do that to you. The second she shut the door to her chambers, hidden by the portrait, she let her robes slip from her shoulders to the floor. She didn't stop as she walked down the hallway kicking off her shoes walking past her bedroom door and walked into the kitchenette. As if on automatic she took out the cat bowl, filling it with food and put it down on the floor calling out for crooks. It was only the fact her familiar didn't appear that snapped her out of her trance.
"Crookshanks?"
She called; eyebrows furrowed as she left the kitchen to find her AWOL familiar. Eventually, after checking the rest of her chambers, she went into her bedroom. What she saw caused her to freeze in shock. Not only was her cat there but he was currently licking – and was that nibbling?! – on the hip of one of the skeletons where the muscle and tissue was trying to regenerate.
"Bloody hell!"
Hermione screeched as she ran to the bed, grabbing her cat by either side of this large belly, and yanking him off his new chew toy. They fact he looked very pleased with himself did not help matters. It also did not, unfortunately for her, distract her from the fact that both skeletons were most definitely men. The fact that bot had regenerated up to their hips with a very male appendage in full view kept her attention. It was almost like a car crash; as much as she didn't want to look, she could help but do so. Were they even supposed to be that big?!
It was Crookshanks that snapped her out of it by licking her face.
"EWWWW!"
She hissed, bolting out of her bedroom. The second she was outside of it she shut the door, drooping her cat and ran to the bathroom where she used every anti-bacterial skin product and potion, she had to scrub her cheek.
Her day just was going from bad to worse. Once she was sure she was thoroughly clean, her cheek red, Hermione left the bathroom and gave her cat an annoyed glare as he was perched quite happily on the arm of her favorite armchair.
"Hermione? Are you in?"
A Familiar voice came from the fireplace to her left, just out of her eyesight.
"Shit!"
Was Hermione's spectacular reply as she practically jumped five feet in the air in surprise. She spun round to see the redhead's head made of green flames. She had no time to spend talking to Ginny, especially since she had 2 men regenerating in her bedroom that she was trying to keep secret. Unfortunately, she couldn't lie to saver her life and her friends knew her far to well. Ginny was a lot more observant and perceptive than most gave her credit for, so Hermione knew that if anyone would find out about the men, as well as the spell it would be her.
"you're swearing."
Ginny stated, surprised and amused. Hermione snorted, folding her arms across her chest trying to shuffle subtly so her bedroom door was hidden from sight. As if Ginny had x-ray vision or something.
"Of course, I swore. I'm an adult now."
She informed her friend in her best bossy tone, as her friends so lovingly called it.
"your hiding something."
Ginny said with a smirk, causing Hermione to go wide eyed in shock.
"I am not hiding anything, I swear!"
She squeaked, which only caused her friend to smirk wider.
"Hang on, I'm coming through."
Was Ginny's responded before her head disappeared. Hermione panicked. She turned around and bolted to her bedroom to grab bag and ran back out and slammed the door shut behind her. It was only when she spun back around that she noticed Crookshanks was no longer in view.
"Oh no."
She moaned before turning back around and yanking the door open. Sure, enough crooks was on top of her bed heading towards one of the men's hands which had started to regenerate.
"Damn you Crookshanks!"
Hermione growled, ignoring the horror movie of a reality that was the regenerating skeletons, and stalked over to her wayward cat. She attempted to yank the cat off the man's hand only to find it harder than expected as crooks had sunk his claws in to the hand's fresh flesh. Causing Hermione to fall forward laying across her newly regenerated 'Friends' laps, her head landing very close to a piece of flesh that was all man and another on pressing against her abdomen. For a moment all she could do is lay there completely surprised that the protective magic had let her land on them. Realizing her position Hermione shot off the bed with a screech. The sudden movement surprised Crookshanks who leaped off the bed and ran out of the room seconds later.
A piercing scream yanked Hermione out of her own thoughts as she spun around to see her worst nightmare of the current events. Ginny standing in the doorway
"Shit!"
She cursed again, getting up off the floor and grabbing Ginny's hand leading her out of the bedroom. Shutting the door behind her. She led Ginny to her sofa where she proceeded to make her sit.
"Tipsy!"
Hermione called as she sat down beside her friend. Half a second later a house elf appeared before them.
"you called, missus?"
The little elf bowed as she asked
"can we get a large pot of strong tea with scones, clotted cream, and my strawberry jam if possible."
Normally, Hermione wouldn't use a house elf let alone ask it to do something she could easily do herself but right now Ginny needed her full attention. Tipsy disappeared with a crack leaving the women alone.
"Gin, are you okay?"
Hermione asked softly, to which a pale faced Ginny slowly nodded her head although she still seemed to be in shock.
"There are 2 naked men in your room, and they are half skeleton…"
The redhead murmured, her shocked gaze turning to look at her bushy haired friend.
"Heh, yeah about that… you know the marriage law?"
Hermione asked, to which Ginny managed a nod as she tried to grasp on to something semi normal and not horror movie like.
"Well you know I was looking for a way to get it abolished, but there seems to be no loopholes. So, Minerva had an idea…"
At this point Tipsy returned and placed the try with the food and tea on the table in front of them than disappeared. Hermione set to work poring the tea, putting milk and sugar into Ginny's. once a cup was in each of their hands Hermione continued her tale.
"Well She found an ancient spell where one can find their soulmate, or soulmates, apparently. Anyway, only the strongest of witches and wizards can do it, as it takes a lot of magic and energy that could leave you without magic or dead, anyways Minerva was sure I could do it. Since I didn't want to marry an idiot that didn't know a Patronus from an Animagus, I decided to give it a go. As you can see, I survived. However, my soulmates were apparently dead, so the magic is now regenerating them, as you saw in my bedroom."
She finished, watching Ginny cautiously as she digested the information.
"So, They're your soulmates?"
Hermione nodded with a relieved smile.
"I hope they are my only soulmates."
She added, her gaze sliding back to her bedroom door as a nervous feeling twirled in her belly.
"I'm so proud of you! My little Mia's all grown up! Ooooo, Can I be your maid of honor?"
Ginny asked excitedly, practically squealing in joy. Is was so sudden, the information and the mood swing, that and Hermione could only stare at her fiery friend in shock. Before Hermione could say a word about being older than her friend or answer her question a silvery tabby cat came in through the wall to stand in front of the girls. Minerva's voice soon filled the room.
"There are 2 more at your door."
Then the Patronus disappeared. Suddenly, Hermione felt light-headed. She had sworn she would never be a fainting damsel in distress but it that moment she wanted to do nothing more. Unfortunately, she was not allowed that luxury. Ginny squealed happily, excited that her friend would have love and romance, whilst Crookshanks bolted out of the living room towards the kitchen due to the loud noise. Growling under her breath, Hermione stood up from the couch, put her cup of tea back on the try than stalked to her door. She yanked it open revealing 2 new skeletons who were definitely not twins like the pair in her room where, one stood atleast 6 inches higher than the other and the shorter one had broader shoulders. It also seems as the ones that just arrived where regenerating slower than the ones already in her rooms as all that had flesh currently was their toes compared to the first set that had both feet by the time, they made it to her room.
"I don't have a big enough bedroom for this!"
Hermione said flatly. She got a strange feeling the magic was raising an eyebrow at her before the skeletons floated into her quarters towards her bedroom door. What was with the Skeletons wanting to be in her inner sanctum? She walked over to the door and opened it, the skeletons floated in and without even looking where they were going Hermione slammed the door.
"I swear If there is 1 more I am going to scream!"
Hermione growled under her breath. A second later someone knocked on her door.
Ginny ended up covering her ears whilst crooks hid under a kitchen chair as a piercing scream filled every inch of the castle of Hogwarts.
It was going to be a long night!