Chapter 1 – Been Here Before

Bucky looks up from his spot on the couch and pauses the show he's watching when he catches sight of the grin on Clint's face.

'Please tell me you aren't going to make me guess,' he says as the man flops down onto the couch next to him.

'Aww but that's no fun,' Clint pouts, though he's still not stopped grinning.

'Go on just tell me who he is,' Bucky sighs, fighting back the bile at the words.

'Not a he this time Buckaroo,' Clint says, staring off into dreamland, 'a she.'

'Ok,' he replies after a few moments of silence, 'tell me who she is then. And I thought you decided to swear off women?'

'Yeah,' he shrugs in response, 'after Laura it just seemed like that was a good thing to do you know? But then Tony and Bruce didn't exactly end the way I thought they would so when I met Hope I thought: why not? And she is awesome!'

Bucky smiles for his friend. 'So who is she? How did you meet her?'

'She was taking part in the class after mine,' Clint explains, 'and we just used to get chatting. She was asking me about what kind of martial arts I teach and started coming to a couple and we just hit it off you know? Anyway she's really into board games like we are, so I suggested she join us on Saturday for our regular games night.'

'You checked with Tony right? Because you do remember it's due to be at his?'

Clint waves his concerns off. 'Course I did. He said the more the merrier! Plus when I said she was into tech just like him he couldn't wait to meet another person he can nerd out with.'

'You say it like we aren't all a bunch of nerds for playing board games in the first place,' Bucky rolls his eyes.

'Oh shut it. I got to go make sure everyone knows she's coming and tell Nat to be nice.'

'Nat's always nice unless she doesn't like someone.'

'She's also intimidating as fuck to new people.'

'She is a world champion martial artist, what do you expect?'

'Her to be nice to the people I date!'

Bucky's left watching Clint's retreating form as he goes into his bedroom and starts the show again with a sigh. He can't really focus any more on the characters though. He, Clint, Natasha and Steve had all met in high school; Clint and Nat were friends from when they were little, same as he and Steve had been, and the four of them had just meshed well together. Then Clint had met Laura and gone to get married, Nat had been training all hours of the day, and he and Steve had done a stint in the army and the four of them had drifted apart a little.

Then Bucky and Steve had come back from their tours and left the army, Steve setting up a security business and convincing Bucky to help him (not that it had taken much), and they were doing pretty well. Then Natasha had decided to retire from international competitions before she started losing and had come to join them and the rest of their team, training kids and adults on the side as she started up her own training business. No one had heard much from Clint until he turned up on Bucky's doorstep one night, completely pissed and sobbing his heart out.

Laura had run off with his older brother Barney, taking most of their combined savings with her. Clint had been heartbroken and Bucky hadn't given him any choice on moving in with him. Slowly the three of them had helped Clint recover, and he'd taken up teaching martial arts with Nat so they could run more classes to keep up with demand.

The other problems came when Clint decided to start dating again. They all knew he'd always been bi, and it wasn't much of a surprise when the first person he introduced to them was a guy. Tony was about the same size as Clint, wiry like him, and with dark hair and eyes that screamed mischief and intelligence. It was obvious why Clint had fallen for him.

Unfortunately he hadn't told anyone other than Bucky about his feelings for Tony, and Tony and Steve had hit it off right away, despite starting the night off with an argument, they'd been thick as thieves by the end of the night. No one was surprised when they went official a month later. Yet again Bucky had been left to pick up the pieces of a heartbroken Clint.

That hadn't stopped the blond from trying though. The next person he'd brought to meet them had been another guy; Bruce was a little older than them, very smart and very quiet and seemed happy to stick by Clint and use him as protection from the overly enthusiastic bunch, which now included Thor from Steve's security firm, a tall, muscular blond who had a personality as big as his muscles. Admittedly everyone was surprised when Bruce hit it off with Natasha of all people, and within two months they too were official. Again Bucky was left to pick up the tattered remains of Clint Barton.

And then there was Jane. Clint's last attempt at dating a woman that had him swearing off women all over again. Small, quiet, intelligent Jane who surprised them all by challenging Thor over some dispute between him and Clint. Maybe it was that that started the spark. Within two months they'd gone official as well. Bucky had had to book a whole week off work after that time.

Now there was Hope. Would she be any different? For Clint's sake Bucky hopes so. But selfishly?

He looks down as his phone buzzes with a text, picking it up he sees it's from Steve.

"How you feeling about this new girl?"

Selfishly Bucky hopes she goes the same way as the rest of them. "Trying not to at the moment." He sends the reply.

"You could just man up and tell him." Steve responds.

"Easy for you to say. Who's coming on Saturday?"

"Tony and me, since it's our house we're playing at; Nat and Bruce; Thor and Jane, and Thor's bringing his brother Loki who apparently Jane doesn't get on with that well; Tony's got Pepper to come along and Rhodey; you and Clint; and Scott and Sam are joining us from work."

"Who let the bird brain come along?"

"Stop harassing my employees!"

"Our employees, Stevie. I own half the company remember. And Sam's an ass anyway."

"You forfeit your half of the company until you grow up enough to tell the man you love how you feel."

And isn't that just the crux of the whole problem? Bucky's been in love with Clint since high school. Damn near broke his heart watching him marry Laura, never fully convinced she was the right woman for him; but then, as Natasha had pointed out when she helped him drink his sorrows away with some vodka just after they announced their engagement, was anyone going to be good enough for Clint in Bucky's eyes?

Not even you're good enough for him since you won't even tell him how you feel, he berates himself, giving up on the TV and turning it off, deciding an early night wouldn't hurt. Not like he's going to get much sleep anyway.

Just over a week later Bucky is cooking dinner when he hears the door go. 'Hey Clint!' he calls out, stirring the chilli in the pan. 'I got chilli on the go for dinner if that's alright? How did classes go today?'

There's a thump in the hallway and no response. That doesn't sound right, Bucky frowns, turning the heat off on the stove. As he turns he sees Clint's dejected form leaning against the door frame of the kitchen.

'Clint? What's happened?'

'Am I just unlovable, Bucky?'

'What the hell? Why would you say that?'

'You know how when we got to Tony and Steve's and everyone was there Hope and Scott knew each other from before and were catching up loads?'

'Yeah?' he'd remembered being happy to notice that Hope hadn't ditched Clint either for having found a former friend and had included him in most of their talks and had kept returning to speak to Clint throughout the night. Overall, Bucky had to admit he'd liked Hope. He just has a feeling he knows where this is going. 'Didn't Scott give her a ride home afterwards?'

'Uh huh,' Clint sniffs, 'turns out they did a lot more catching up and found out they'd both had feelings for each other but hadn't acted on them because of her dad. Now they've decided to give it a go. She thanked me for giving them the opportunity to reconnect.'

'Shit.' And really that's the only thing Bucky can think of to say to sum up the whole situation.

Clint laughs sourly. 'Yeah, that just about covers it.'

'Want me to put this in the fridge and order pizza?' he offers, knowing it's a sure way of cheering the blond up.

Clint manages a smile at least. 'You know what? No. The chilli smells awesome, Buck. How about we break the cycle, eh? We always do pizza after this happens, maybe if we do something homemade instead next time something better will happen.'

'Yeah,' Bucky grins at him, determination forming in his gut, 'yeah maybe it will.' Because I'm not watching you get your heart broken any more, Clint, he decides as he turns the heat back on and boils some water for the rice. I'm going to get my courage up and I'm going to tell you how I feel. But first, I think we'd better get you over the disappointment of Hope. 'You can choose the movie tonight,' he tells the other man as Clint goes to put his stuff away.

'I don't know what I'd do without you Bucky.'

That makes two of us, Bucky agrees.

'Alright,' Bucky mutters to himself. 'Steak is ready to go, sauce just needs heating up, chips are in the oven and I've got a couple of bottles of red. Right, you can do this Bucky. All you need to do is tell him, after dinner and a couple of glasses, that you've been in love with him since high school and would he maybe please stop wasting time on other people and go out with you instead.' He takes a couple of breaths. 'Oh God I can't do this.'

His phone vibrates and he frowns at a text from Tony. "Break a leg, Snowflake, you'll be fine. I don't know how he's resisted your gorgeous body for so long."

"Don't you have your own boyfriend you should be ogling the body of?"

"I can appreciate good muscles when I see them!"

Bucky decides he doesn't actually want to get into this conversation and puts his phone back in his pocket. He'd only told Steve and Tony about his plan for tonight, he's already regretting that decision. His phone vibrates again and he sees Tony's newest message. "You're ignoring me, therefore I win!"

It's followed a couple of minutes later by one from Steve. "Sorry I've got his phone from him now. I'll keep him entertained for the evening so he doesn't bother you. Good luck!"

Wondering how he ended up with such weird friends he hears the front door go and tries to remain calm and casual as he hears Clint's footsteps down the hallway.

'Bucky you'll never guess what!' he grins as he launches himself into one of the chairs at their small dining table.

'You finally beat Nat in a fight?'

Clint snorts. 'Come on, let's be realistic. I swear that woman isn't human. No, what actually happened is Nat hired a new instructor; she's just come out the army and she's moved here and doesn't really know anyone, so Nat suggested she join us for games night this week to try and make friends. Bucky she is incredible. She's super skilled and she's going to be doing self-defence classes, but she's like super hot and really funny. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I think she could be an actual contender, like something might actually happen here. We definitely clicked. Hey, is that steak for dinner? What's the occasion?'

Bucky tries to fight back the urge to scream and makes a conscious effort not to clench his fists or grit his teeth. He smiles through the pain and just shrugs. 'Just felt like a change tonight, that's all. Seems like we might have a reason to celebrate though. There's a couple of bottles of red on the side, why don't you open one and pour and I'll start the steaks?'

'Ok sure,' Clint smiles, completely oblivious to the turmoil in Bucky's heart as he goes to open one of the wine bottles.

'How do you want the steak? Medium?'

'You know me so well,' Clint grins, then he frowns and looks at Bucky again. 'You alright?'

'Yeah fine,' he forces a smile back, 'just a bit of a tiring day at work, that's why I thought we could treat ourselves with dinner tonight.'

When Clint goes to get changed he grabs his phone from his pocket and sends a text to Natasha. "You are banned from hiring any more instructors. Understood?"

"Oh god, please don't tell me he's fallen for Carol already?"

"What do you think?"

'Sure smells amazing,' Clint says as he returns and Bucky dishes up.

'I do try,' he grins. 'Now why don't you tell me about this new girl?'

He forces the food down even though his appetite is completely gone with the way Clint's eyes light up as he talks about their new instructor.

A/N: Hi everyone. I hope you enjoy this new story from me; it was a request from a reader over on AO3. Please do let me know if you have any requests of your own and do let me know what you think of this first chapter.

Love always,

L x