AN: Thank you for all of the lovely reviews! I promise I read each one even though I haven't responded. I truly appreciate them. They keep me writing and working. On another note, I saw A Star is Born twice and cried both times. I loved it! I definitely recommend seeing it. I felt this song works well with our favorite couple. Let me know what you think! Next update will come as soon as I have it written.

Shallow by Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper

"Tell me something boy

Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void?

Or do you need more

Ain't it hard keepin' it so hardcore?"

Defining Moments

Chapter 13: I Love You

Steph's POV

I wake up slowly, feeling the ache in my muscles, the dry cotton feeling in my mouth, the sloshing of my stomach and the spinning in my head. I groan, my eyes fluttering and squinting at the sunlight streaming through my window. I roll onto my back and realize I'm alone. Did I just imagine Ranger being here last night? Or did he just leave already? I sigh, putting my arm over my eyes. I feel like complete crap. My phone starts ringing, and I hurry to answer it just so the noise will stop. I have to pause to stop the spinning in my head before I answer.

"Hello?" I ask, my eyes closing again. It was probably a mistake to not see who was calling first.

"Sweetheart, how are you doing this morning?" Quinn's voice questions softly. Maybe it's the aftershock of the alcohol or just the gentle way he asks, but I start crying.

"Quinn…I…Ranger came by," I sob, feeling out of control, "I love him. I don't know what to do." I feel sick to my stomach. I take a few deep breaths to try and calm myself. I'm feeling queasy from admitting this and from all the alcohol. I hear Quinn sigh.

"Look Steph, you are beautiful, smart, and strong. You deserve whatever you want in life," he replies seriously, "and I have some cheesy advice for you. Every woman has exactly the love life she wants. I heard that in a movie and completely agree. Stephanie, I haven't known you long, but I know you are strong and I can tell you're scared. Ranger can't read your mind and you'll forever be in limbo if you don't come clean. You decide how you get treated and when to take control of your life." I take in a breath, calming myself some more. I nod and then regret it especially since Quinn can't even see me. I can't believe we've become so close so quickly. I barely tell anyone how I'm feeling, let alone someone I met two weeks ago. Maybe knowing he has an objective perspective helps.

"You're right. I need to talk to him and find out once and for all," I say, feeling resolved, "if only I knew where to find him. Quinn…I'm sorry you have such a mess for a partner. I promise I won't let you down."

"Sweetheart, you're human and it's normal to have emotions," he replies, "plus alcohol never helps in those situations. I don't blame you, and I have faith that we'll finish this case sooner than you think." I sigh and I feel so grateful that I have such an understanding partner. I hate knowing that I let Ranger have such a big control over me, but I realize it's only because I never confronted him before. It's better to be rejected outright by Ranger than to keep whatever we have going.

My eyes widen as I realize I totally forgot about the blonde girl who approached me in the bathroom. I groan and smack my forehead. I close my eyes and concentrate on the memory. Her worry triggers something, and I remember Sally's comments about Romeo and Juliet.

"Quinn, I think I ran into Sarah Shupp last night," I say pausing, "and I think Ian and Alexandra Ramos are seeing each other secretly." I hear a whistle.

"Damn sweetheart, maybe you should drink more often," he says with a chuckle and I hear my front door open. I feel my heart beat speed up and I feel nervous knowing it's probably Ranger.

"I…uh…I have to go," I squeak as my neck tingles, "Ranger's here."

"Good luck," he replies, "you've got the support of all of your friends behind you." The bedroom door opens and I gulp.

"Okay, bye, see you later." I hear him chuckle before I close the phone. Ranger stands in the doorway half in shadow and my heart thunders in my chest. His dark eyes look me over intently.

"Babe," he states with a small uptick to his mouth, "I brought you the cure." I nod, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. I get out of bed slowly. I almost teeter over as I head to the bathroom, but Ranger puts a hand on my arm to steady me. A jolt of electricity goes through me at his touch. Our eyes lock and I know he felt it too. He looks so calm. I wish I felt that way.

"Easy." I nod.

"Meet you in the kitchen," I reply as I right myself and go into the bathroom. I brush my teeth and splash some water on my face. My stomach is not feeling too good but I think some greasy fries and a bubbly soda will help. My head is still spinning a little but a Tylenol should help with that.

I see Ranger standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter facing me. He looks so serious and I feel butterflies in my stomach at what is about to happen. My eyes lock on the bag of fries and the large coke sitting on the counter. He remembered and cared enough to know I'd be feeling like crap today. Before I can even think about addressing him, I find the Tylenol and pop one using the Coke to wash it down. The bubbles feel good as they hit my stomach. I then reach in the bag and grab a few fries. I can't help but moan a little as the golden crispy potatoes hit my tongue. I already feel a little better. I hear an amused chuckle from Ranger. I look up with a blush creeping on my face from everything that transpired yesterday.

"So, you finished your mission already?" I ask before taking another drink of soda. My stomach has already settled considerably. I eat a few more fries as he frowns ever so slightly.

"No, not yet." His dark brown eyes stare into mine and I feel my heartbeat increase. He's not done with his mission and yet…he's here.

"So…so…you just came to see me then?" I question, unsure if I can believe that. The corner of his mouth tips up slightly. I see him hesitate.

"Like I said…I missed you." I choke a little on the Coke I was drinking. It turns into big coughs and I splutter. God, how embarrassing. My face is definitely two shades darker. I guess I'm just so surprised he admitted it. After recovering, I take a deep breath.

"Ranger, I need to tell you something," I say, not able to meet his eyes. I can't face him if I'm about to get my heart shattered all over again. I just need to get it over with so I can move on with my life once and for all. He doesn't move or make a sound and I'm grateful for that.

"I'm in love with you," I blurt out, darting my eyes up to his face before continuing, "and I have been for a while. I can't keep doing this back and forth. Either we're together or we stop all the flirting. I can't take it anymore, but I don't want to lose our friendship. I don't need a traditional relationship-hell I've never been traditional. I just need someone faithful and who understands I may never make dinner. And if you want a relationship, but not with me, I just need to know." I stop and take a deep breath before looking up to see him. I feel a pang of disappointment as I see his blank face.

"Babe, I love you," he says, his facing softening ever so slightly. I can tell he's about to say more and probably a qualifier like all of the times he's done before, but his phone starts ringing.

"Shit," he exclaims softly, "I have to get this." He answers the phone and barely says a word. He closes it and looks up at me with his smoldering brown eyes. They've turned into chocolate pools. He takes two steps and gathers me in his arms before kissing me like it's the last time. My arms go up and wrap around his back and his hand tangles in my crazy hair. His body is plastered against mine and his thigh slides between my legs. I moan and he pulls me closer and deepens the kiss. He pulls away, his chest moving quickly and his eyes black. I try to catch my breath.

"I have to go," he informs me, but I can see the disappointment on his face. "We'll talk when I'm done with my mission." I inhale the scent of Bvlgari and the warmth of his skin. He presses a kiss to my lips again before heading to the front door. I feel cold at the loss of contact with him.

"Don't go crazy, Babe," he says opening the door and shooting me a smile. I smile sadly.

"Don't get shot, Batman," I reply grabbing the doorknob. I lean against the door as I watch him head down the hall and disappear. I feel so conflicted. On one hand, he admitted he loves me but on the other, we didn't actually get to say much. Now I have to wait who knows how long before I'll know once and for all. Plus I don't even know if he's seeing Jeanne Ellen or if that was a one-time thing. I close the door and sigh. While what he said was positive and so was that kiss, it doesn't really mean anything. He's always admitted to loving me, but he's never wanted a relationship. In fact, he says he doesn't do relationships. I decide to push it from my mind since there's nothing I can do about it now.

I shower and dress for the day before texting Quinn. We meet up and head to Newark to the FBI building. Once inside, we go to the computers. He ducks out while I do some more digging on Sarah Shupp. I look up her credit card activity and am not surprised to see she used it at Café Citron last night. So it was her! She's probably staying nearby then, and we can get her into a safe house while we continuing hunting for Bianchi. I see she used it at an ATM nearby. I bet she's staying close to that. A quick google search shows only three hotels nearby. Twenty minutes later I have a room number and the address for the hotel she's staying at. A couple of quick phone calls and pretending to have her cell phone got me the information.

I then do a search on Alexandra Ramos. I wonder if Alexander requested them to name her after him. I shake my head at the thought. I'm sure that's exactly what he did. There's nothing really notable about her. She went to Rutgers and received a degree in Fashion and Design. She's been splitting her time between New Jersey and her family and her business in New York. A forbidden love. I don't know why Ian would want to kill Sarah instead of just breaking up with her unless Sarah knows about them?

After writing down some notes Quinn reappears with a grin on his face. I can tell by that look that I'm not about to enjoy what he wants to do next. He agrees that we can go visit her tomorrow. She's obviously sloppy and not too worried about Ian finding her.

"Come on, let's do some training," he says, "and I'm not going easy on you because of your rough night." I narrow my eyes at him and glare.

"Meanie," I say sticking out my tongue. We head down to the gym and I change into athletic gear. I meet Quinn out on the mats where he starts showing me some moves. We start to actually spare.

"So how did it go with Ranger?" he asks getting me into a hold. I grunt as I throw an elbow back into his stomach.

"Well he said he loves me," I reply stepping out from his reach as he doubles over, "but honestly I'm not sure how much that means." He grunts as I hit him from the side.

"You're not sure how much an 'I love you' means?" he asks incredulously, and I can't say I blame him. If it were anyone else, I'd say it means he has feelings, but this is Ranger we're talking about.

"No, there's always a qualifier and I'm pretty sure I saw him with another woman the other week," I reply right before he manages to catch my leg. I fall hard on my butt.

"You saw him with another woman? Damn sweetheart," he says, holding out a hand to me, "as in you caught them in the act?" I shrug.

"I saw them from my car. They embraced and definitely looked like they were making out," I explain, "and she's hot." I see Quinn raise an eyebrow.

"From what I know about the man, he doesn't trust many people and yet he trusts you. And he admits he loves you," Quinn says, "how sure are you they were kissing?" I shrug, starting to feel embarrassed. Maybe I did overreact although that doesn't explain her popping in after the distraction I did.

"Pretty sure and that same woman, damn Jeanne Ellen Burrows, showed up a few nights later when I did a distraction for him. They seemed rather…close," I explain as we get some water.

"Well, you'll have to ask him when you see him again," he says, "but for now, focus on you and what you want out of a relationship." I nod. It's nice having an objective male friend who's actually sensible.

"On another note, I think we're close to cracking this Bianchi thing wide open," I say thinking about Sarah and the whole Alexandra Ramos thing.