"Thank you, Molly, for letting me stay this summer again. I can never tell you how much I appreciate it." I told Ron's mother who was looking at me with tears in her eyes.
"You'll always be welcome, dear. You're my daughter- I'd hoped that it would be as my daughter-in-law someday but-"
"Muuum…" Ron whined.
Ron and I had broken up two weeks ago when the letters inviting us for an Eighth Year had come. Ron decided that he didn't want to go back. I was dead set on returning. Harry had also decided not to return. Harry had heard back from the Auror office and he'd been accepted into the training program. Ron was still waiting to hear back from the Chudley Cannons and Kenmare Kestrels. From the little that I knew of Quidditch, I could not imagine him not being accepted on the Chudley Cannons. They were not a particularly talented team. Or so I'd overheard every once in a while. The point was that he was going to be busy with Quidditch and I would be busy with my head in the books and we'd be far away from one another and so we decided to pause our relationship. It only took a few days of freedom for us both to realize that it was a permanent break. We were much better as friends. This, of course, disappointed Molly Weasley. I was scared she would not have a place to go but while it was, at times, uncomfortable, Molly had never made me feel less than welcome.
And now I was leaving, to go back to Hogwarts. Like I'd done so many times before. But now there was no oncoming war. It was in the past.
The summer after the war was a strange phenomnom. No one could decide if happiness was appropriate. We had all lost so much. Every time I ran into someone outside The Burrow, there was a tension in the air- like we no longer knew what held any of us together. Inside The Burrow, I felt safe but there were reminders of the war all around. Whether it were George's screams that would sometimes wake you up in the middle of the night or the way Harry's fingers twitched over his scar, the reminders persisted. They became less frequent over the few months but they were there and no one wished to discuss them.
"Okay, dear. Are you sure you have everything you need?" Molly asked for the third time that morning. I smiled and nodded and Molly pulled me into a hug.
"Alright, we better get a move on, mum." Ginny piped in.
"Oh! Ginny! My baby girl! Off to her final year of Hogwarts. I just- are you sure we can't come with you to drop you off?" Molly was crying now. Arthur behind her also looked teary eyed at the idea of their baby girl's final year of schooling.
"Mum, we've been over this. It's just Harry and Ron seeing us off." Ginny explained again.
"I-I know. I know. Anyways come give your parents a hug then we'll let you go." Molly wrapped her child in her arms and Hermione could tell by how Ginny's shoulders moved, Molly was not the only one crying now. I felt my heart tear a little. I wished my mother could see me off. I wished my father would stand quietly next to us as we hugged, with tears and affection in his eyes. But they couldn't be there.
I had tried to un-do the memory charms. But I couldn't. I contacted the healers at St Mungo's and they could not either. Not without risking substantially harming their brains. So I told them it was alright and sent the healers home. They looked at me with pity and that just made it more obvious how hopeless it was. So I obliviated them again, so they wouldn't remember me coming back or the healers. Doing that… That was the hardest thing I'd ever done. In the haze of preparing for war, obviating them the first time was just logical. It was an act of love and protection. But this? This was an act of finality. It was goodbye and they'd never know.
"You ready?" Ron's voice shook me out of my memories. I smiled at him with a false brightness and shook my head yes.
One of the projects Harry kept himself busy with was studying for his driving exam this summer. He received his license a few days ago and had promptly bought himself a car. I felt this was a little foolish given the likelihood that he'd rarely use it but with the money from his Order of Merlin, I supposed he'd earned the right to do whatever he wanted with it.
The car ride was not nearly as bad as previous car rides I'd been on with wizard drivers but it wasn't the most pleasant either. Ron and Ginny looked a little bit green by the time they arrived at King's Cross.
Harry and Ron helped Ginny and I with our baggage, having none of their own this time, and once they got their trunks loaded, we stood back and all looked at one another.
"Why does this feel like the end of something?" Ginny asked quietly.
"It's the beginning, Gin. The beginning of… our new lives." Harry said, obviously feeling a little prophetic. I was about to scoff myself when a derisive snort came from behind me. I knew before I whipped around who it would be.
"Malfoy." Ron snarled.
"Some things never change, do they?" Harry rolled his eyes, his restrained anger clear in his voice.
"Yeah, Azkaban didn't seem to humble you very much." Ginny piped in.
And he still hadn't met my eyes. He was just glaring at the other three. She took this time to give him a once over. He was still thin but his face had regained a bit of health now. The bags under his eyes were less obvious. He didn't look gaunt but he certainly didn't look well. He was taller than I'd remembered too. Maybe it was just that he hadn't been this close in well over a year.
"Sorry to disappoint, Weaselette." Malfoy retorted.
"I'd watch your mouth, Malf-" Ron started but Hermione cut him off.
"Stop. He's not worth it, Ron." Hermione finally found her voice. There was a flicker of something across his face as he took in my words. But then he turned those cold, lifeless, grey eyes on me.
"Didn't he say something like that, right before you socked me in the face?" Malfoy's eyebrows raised lazily.
"What? Do you want to get your nose broken again, Death Eater?" Ron snarled again. There was another flicker of something across his face but this time I could place it. It was shame and then it was restraint.
"Whatever. Have your little pow wow." Malfoy rolled his eyes and sauntered off into the crowd. My eyes followed him of their own accord. He met up with Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass. They boarded the train together. His two friends didn't look particularly happy with him though.
"Your right some things never change. Malfoy is still a coward." Ginny commented.
"You could say that again." Ron replied. "Why's he even allowed back to Hogwarts?" Ron asked.
"He'd never Imperiused or Avada'd anyone. At least not with his wand. And the Crucio's they'd found had all been performed under duress. So he got off easy." Harry replied.
"I wouldn't say he got off easy. With two months in Azkaban, a month of house arrest with no magic, and a year of probation only to be served in the Hogwarts Castle." I cut in. I realized my mistake immediately. Rule #1: Do not defend Draco Malfoy.
"Why do you know his punishment word for word?"
"I read it, in the Prophet. It was pretty big news, Ron." I defended myself. Just let them assume it's my know-it-all nature. Do not let on that I specifically looked for news of his trial.
"I mean, I suppose Harry testifying for him and his mother helped him…" Ginny said. "What happened to his mom?" Ginny asks me.
"Three years house arrest. No magic." I replied.
"Why are we even still talking about them?" Ron complained.
"Ron's right. Ginny and I really should be going." I said, eager to escape this subject.
Ginny and Harry walked a few steps away to say their private goodbye's and by that, I mean, snog. Harry was coming to visit for the first Hogsmeade weekend in a month so I'm not sure why they were sucking each other in like the other was air.
"I'll miss you." Ron said, distracting from the gross display of PDA happening a few feet from us.
"I'll miss you too, Ron." We both smiled, satisfied as friends.
"Suppose we should hug now?" Ron looked at me, hope in his eyes that worried me a little. I nodded, despite this. Ron wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck. My eyes caught on something behind him. Looking right at me from behind the train window were two grey eyes. His lips were downturned in a frown and his eyebrow was raised. It fills me with anger to see him looking at our private moment like that, like he has any right to do so. I tear my eyes away before he can.
Ron finally pulls away. His hands are still resting on my hips.
"'Mione… we're sure about this being apart thing?"
"Ronald…" I sighed. "Yes, we're sure. I know you see it too. We're better as friends." I reply. Ron nods. There's resignation in it.
"It just… feels like growing up to let you go." Ron replies. I can't help it. I place my hand on his cheek.
"That's a good thing. It's time to let me go. Literally and figuratively." I smile sadly and pull out of his embrace. Harry and Ginny are back now.
"Harry, come here." I say, bringing him into a hug. He laughs as I squeeze him. He squeezes back but it's over quickly. Ginny and I lock arms and board the train.
"I wonder who else chose to come back for an eighth year. Other than Malfoy, obviously." Ginny said this last part with a tone of utter disgust.
"I'm not sure…" I choose not to mention how closely I'd paid attention to Malfoy as he met up with two other Slytherin eighth years.
Ginny apologizes and leaves me to go find the Prefects. Ginny had kept quiet about her Head Girl badge at first, feeling guilty that I wouldn't have the honor. I told her she was being absurd and that I was proud of her and knew she'd do a terrific job. And that was all true. But I did feel a little slighted. The war had cheated me out of so much and not being Head Girl was the cherry on top.
I'm walking the train to find either an empty compartment or one with people I know well enough to sit with. At one point, a sixth year girl pops her head out and asks if I want to sit with her. I think her name might have been Clarissa. But I politely declined.
As I turned from her, I saw him, exiting the compartment he shared with Zabini and Greengrass. His eyes met mine and my heart went into overdrive. I immediately felt irate. The boy had watched me be tortured by his crazy aunt and had done nothing, said nothing. Perhaps he didn't identify us when he could have but still… he was a cowardly boy who should mean nothing to me. He does mean nothing to me.
"Granger." He drawls. And with that, I felt the metaphorical spell break and I walked right up to him. I saw surprise cross his features before he schooled them into nonchalance.
"Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't look at me and Ron. Don't frown at us. Don't raise your stupid brows at us." I unleash on him in a whispered fury.
"Noticed you two didn't share a liplock there? Trouble in paradise?" He replies sarcastically.
"No. We're perfect. Engaged, actually. Pregnant with twins, in fact." With the word engaged, he looks shocked. With pregnant, he looks mad. Then he realizes at twins that I was being sarcastic.
"So you're not together anymore?" He asks, looking pissed at himself for asking.
"HA!" I exclaimed and pushed past him. "None of your business, Malfoy." I hear him go back into the compartment behind me but I do not turn around.
Who cursed me so that I would have to interact with him twice on the way to Hogwarts? This was supposed to be a new start, a better life. Sure, I'd wanted to scoff at Harry before but he was right. I wasn't naive enough to believe that this was a reset. But I did hope for a little peace, for something different this year.
When I'd read that Malfoy would be attending, I'd assumed that he would avoid the hell out of me and that I would avoid the hell out of him. So far apparently he had not received the memo. Hopefully that little interaction would keep him at bay.
I finally found a compartment with Neville, Hannah Abbott, and Dean Thomas. Dean and Neville played Wizard's Chess and Hannah and I discussed who the new professors may be. I let her in on the secret that Bill would be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. He was having trouble finding work with his werewolf injuries. I'm sure I sounded a little indignant about the fact that such prejudices persisted in a post-war world. Fleur was none too happy about living in the castle but I kept to myself the real reason why. She was pregnant but hadn't announced it to everyone yet- just the Weasley family plus Harry and I.
Eventually the conversation turned to who else would be among the Eighth Years.
"I saw in The Prophet Malfoy would be coming back." Hannah shivered for effect.
"He won't be able to hurt anyone. I'm sure McGonagall will be watching him very closely." Neville replies.
"Won't stop him from being an arse." Dean piped in.
"That's a given. It's Malfoy."
"Who else is coming back though?" Hannah asked, clearly eager to stop talking about him as she was obviously afraid of him.
"I saw him with Zabini and Daphne Greengrass." I piped in. I didn't mind volunteering this information as I knew they wouldn't question why I'd noticed.
"That probably means that Parkinson The Pug won't be back! That's good news!" Dean replied. Neville and Hannah laughed and I smiled. Pansy not being back was indeed a blessing.
"What about the Ravenclaws? I'm sure a group of them have come back." Hannah asked.
"I saw Terry Boot and Mandy Brocklehurst making out when I was looking for a compartment." Neville grimaced. I couldn't blame him. Mandy and Terry were very nice but I certainly wouldn't want to watch them swap spit.
The conversation moved on to gossip at this point so I opened my Ancient Runes textbook for some light browsing. I resisted the urge to take notes. Eventually Dean and Hannah and Neville's voices faded away and I found myself closing my eyes, letting the shake of the train lull me to sleep. My dreams are taunted by grey eyes and cocky smirks and smiles that are rare and knock the breath right out of you.
AN hi thank you for reading! this may not be any good im not sure i just couldn't get this idea out of my head! please leave a review (and if there are any left over mistakes from when I switched from third to first person my bad I tried to catch all of em but I infamously bad at that)