Mami's inner thoughts
Multiple people talking at once.
I do not own anything but my orginal characters.
Warning: This chapter contains discriptions of a panic attack and depression.
"Excuse me, Kusumoto-san?" I instantly froze. I had been on edge everyday since running into Chiharu at the dance. Nothing had happened yet beside the occasional glare from afar. Today at lunch though, she caught me eye and gave me a smile that sent chills down my spine but still nothing happened. Slowly, I lifted my head up from my math notes to find two girls I vaguely remember seeing at the host club. The taller one nudged her friend, which earned her a smack on the arm but the shorter one still spoke up.
"We were wondering when you'd be coming back to the Host club again?"
"Oh, um…tomorrow." They both smiled widely while looking at each other.
"Will we get to hold a cute animal again?" I nodded causing them the squeal in excitement. The last bell rang signaling the end of the day, they thanked me before returning to their group of friends who also squealed after hearing the news. Tamaki was right, it felt really good being able to put a smile on someone's face. I grabbed my math notes and went to grab my bag. Weird. I'm pretty sure I left it right here.
"What are you looking for, Mi-chan?" Honey suddenly bounced into my vision.
"Hello, Honey-kun" I turned to look up at the stoic senior. "Hello, Mori-kun." He hummed in greeting and slightly dipped his head. I was no longer surprised at them being in the B-class section of school. Ever since the dance they had made it a habit to pick me from the classroom for lunch and after the school day. "My bag. I must have misplaced it." I glanced around the floor by my desk again. My fellow seniors joined me in the search without hesitation.
"Found it!" Honey cheered after a minute. He held it up triumphantly by the door. It must have gotten accidently kicked as people left. I thanked him and shouldered my bag, keeping my math notes out.
"Are you going to come to the Host club today, Mi-chan?" The blonde had taken his usual spot on Mori's shoulders as we made our way out of the classroom so I had to look up to meet his eye.
"I'm sorry, Honey-kun, I have to get a jump start on my math test next week but I'll be there tomorrow." That didn't stop him from pouting slightly before his face brightened up having come up with an idea.
"I'll help you study, Mi-chan! I love math." I hesitated briefly. It would be useful to have someone around who knew what they were doing; I was completely lost when it came to numbers.
"I don't think Kyoya-san would like me distracting you." He waved his hand dismissively before jumping off his friend's shoulders gracefully. Honey quickly grabbed the books from my arms, gave them to Mori and pulled me along with him by my good hand toward the music wing.
"I'll help you before and in between clients. We can have cake together! It'll be a lot of fun, ne, Takashi?"
"Ah." I looked up at Mori. His face was emotionless but his eyes spoke for him. Just give in, it'll be easier. I sighed and stopped trying to resist. After we entered the third music room, Honey stopped at a table nearby the one the seniors hosted at. It was usually used to hold the extra cake.
"You can set up here, Mi-chan~. I'll go get us some yummy cake!" Mori silently handed me my books back. I thanked him, which earned me a small smile before he left to join Honey on the search for cake. I could hear that the other hosts had arrived soon after us as I placed my things on the table. I chuckled to myself when I heard Tamaki yelling at the twins for 'harassing his daughter'. They are too much, I thought to myself as I opened my bag.
Other P.O.V.
"Stay away from my daughter, you little devils." Tamaki yelled as he followed the laughing twins into the third music room. They had succeeded on getting a rise out of the host club king yet again.
"I'm not your daughter, senpai." Haruhi said with a sigh having no choice but to join them in the room. The thought of his precious daughter being so rebellious was almost too much to handle. His violet eyes searched the room quickly for Kyoya to seek some comfort from him but found a better replacement instead. Before he could make his dramatic entrance over to his dark haired friend, she dropped to her knees with a resounding thud. All other thoughts left his mind as he raced over.
"Mami?" She didn't react at all to her name being called. Tamaki scanned the scene in front of him and felt his stomach drop. Mami's bag lay open on the table; a few torn pages had fallen from overflowing bag to the floor. He recognized the handwriting; Mami had shown him many times over the last couple of days as she got herself ready for the animal encounters. Her body was shaking as her breath became more frantic. Mami's dark caramel eyes stayed focused on the torn pages in front of her as the rest of the hosts gathered around the scene.
"Mori-senpai, can you bring her over here please?" Kyoya asked calmly as he set the first aid kit down next to one of the plush couches. Mori picked up her up easily, struggling only slightly as she fought to keep the torn pages in her line of sight. Her breaths were becoming more and more ragged. He gently sat her down and placed his jacket over her shoulders to try and warm up her cold skin.
"Kyoya, what's happening?" Tamaki was frantic as he shook his best friend's shoulder. Kyoya pushed him off with a glare before settling in front of girl. Tamaki quietly took a place next to the rest of the hosts.
"Mami." She didn't respond at all. Her eyes looked wild as they shifted from one torn page to the next.. Kyoya placed himself more directly in front of her, effectively blocking her vision. "Mami, you need to breath or you're going to pass out." That seemed to get through to her panic induced state. Her eyes began darting around frantically as her breath got even more ragged. Her body trembled underneath the senior's coat.
"Hey, look at me." Kyoya's voice was calm but forceful as he gently gripped the sides of her face. Her eyes stayed focused on his after a few more soft words of encouragement. "Good. Now breath with me." He expertly coached her through breathing exercise until she was breathing normally on her own. Mami's eyes were still unfocused and hazy. Kyoya gently encouraged Mami to open her mouth, which she did a bit robotically. He placed a couple of pills in her mouth and instructed her to swallow after offering her some water. She followed his direction without question. The black haired teen helped her lay down as her body caught up from the sudden loss of adrenaline. No one said a word until they were sure she was sleeping.
"Is Mi-chan going to be okay?" Honey had tears flowing down his face as he clutched his pink rabbit to his chest. Mori placed a comforting hand on his cousin's shoulder. They watched as Kyoya carefully removed the bloodied bandage from her hand. She had managed to break open the wound again in her panicked state.
"She needs to let her body rest. She'll sleep for a while with the mild-sedative I gave her." Kyoya finished wrapping her hand and began to clean up the mess around him. He went to stand up but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Tamaki looked down at him with a concerned look on his face. He tried to say something but the words got stuck in his throat. Kyoya nodded in understanding and patted the boy's hand.
"Who would do this?" Kaoru's voice didn't have any of the merriment that was in it just moments before. He had picked up the few pages that had fallen to the floor as Haruhi picked up the bag. She looked down at it sadly, carefully taking out what was left the book. The cover was also ripped apart, a few pages were still inside but most were ripped out or torn in half. Kyoya took the ruined field book from Haruhi's hands, looking it over carefully.
"This was her Ojiisan's." Haruhi said sadly, looking at the sleeping girl on the couch. Mami shivered in her sleep and pulled Mori's jacket closer before settling down again.
"He can just make her a new one right?" Hikaru asked looking over his brother's shoulder. Tamaki shook his head as he sat down on the floor next to the couch. He held onto Mami's hand, rubbing comforting circles into the back of it.
"No." Tamaki said softly. "His memory isn't what it used to be." He knew how much that book meant to her. It was a reminder of all the happy times she shared with her grandfather growing up.
"I thought it had stopped." Honey's face had grown darker as he stared down at the floor. Everyone except for Mori and Kyoya looked at the small senior with surprise.
"What are you talking about Honey-senpai?" Haruhi asked.
"I suspected that Matsuura Chiharu has been bullying Mami-sempai for a while now." All eyes turned to Kyoya who was now typing furiously. "I asked Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai to walk with her between classes to keep an eye on her after my security team alerted me to a possible verbal altercation during the dance. I had no official proof until now." He held up the back cover of the tattered book. Scratched into the back was 'Know your place'. The girl had stupidly signed her name underneath, giving Kyoya the proof he needed to set his plan into action.
"They wouldn't bother her if Takashi and I were near her. They hadn't tried anything for a couple days, I thought she had just given up."
"When did you start to suspect it?" Tamaki asked quietly as he stared at Mami's peaceful face. How had she managed to hide this from him? Why didn't she tell him this was happening? He scolded himself for not seeing the signs, first with Haruhi and now with Mami.
"She doesn't take art classes." Kyoya said simply before going back to typing away on his laptop, using a bit more force than necessary. Tamaki looked down sadly at his newest friend and brushed a bit of hair out of her face. He looked up at the other hosts with a determined look on his face.
"We're going to fix this."
Mami's POV
It had been three days since I had woken up that night in my room after the incident. I couldn't gather the energy to do anything or even talk to anyone. If it weren't for Tamaki coming over every night and forcing me to eat something, I doubt I would have even eaten. He never tried to force me to talk he just rambled on about what had happened in the club that day or something that Antoinette had done. He went on a while about some girl from France named Renge who was apparently a crazy Otaku. The movie they made sounded kind of awful to me but it seemed like Tamaki had fun.
"Kusumoto-san, you have visitors." One of the maids said with a bow, letting her self out of the dark room. I groaned as the light was turned on, burying my head under the covers to save my eyes. My hiding place didn't last long before the covers were ripped off.
"Wow, Mami-senpai-"
"You look like shit"
I nearly fell off the bed. The entire host club was in my room. The twins had made their way into my closet and were in the process of throwing the contents on the floor. Kyoya was looking around the room, making the occasional note in his black notebook. Besos was making a fool of herself by trying to reach Mori's face, which caused Honey to go into a fit of giggles. Tamaki and Oso greeted each other with equal enthusiasm. Haruhi placed a box she had been carrying on my desk after moving the untouched breakfast off to the side.
"Come on." With more strength than I thought possible from her, she pulled me out of bed and into my bathroom, shutting the door before any of the boys could join us. Haruhi started the water in the tub waiting until it was the perfect temperature before putting the plug in. I caught a look of myself in the mirror and the twins weren't lying. I did look like shit. My hair was sticking up in twenty different directions. I could see at least two rats nest starting to grow as well. The bags under my eyes were dark and made my eyes look sunken and sickly. Haruhi helped me get unclothed and gently guided me to the tub.
The warm water engulfed my body like a blanket right out of the dryer. Lavender filled my nose and I instantly relaxed into the water. Skillfully, Haruhi poured water over my head and washed my hair, slowly working the tangles out with a comb.
"I'm sorry." I didn't think she would hear me; it barely came out as a whisper.
"You have nothing to be sorry for Mami-senpai." Her voice was calm as she gently tried to work out a knot. "We were all worried about you." She continued to brush through my hair until all the tangles were out.
"You're really good at this." I tried to joke though I was thankful for her effort. My body felt so heavy, I didn't have the energy to do this myself. Haruhi was quite for the moment before continuing to rub a washcloth over my back.
"My father gets depressed sometimes too." All I could do was nod silently in understanding. She handed the cloth to me with a smile. "Wash your face and get dry. I'll get you some clothes." I did as I was told and wrapped myself in the plush towel near by. I already felt better than I did this morning. I stood there awkwardly until Haruhi came back with some clean clothes; she had taken my dirty pajamas with her probably knowing I would have just put those back on. I thanked her quietly as she closed the door behind her. I put on my favorite pair of jeans and the fitted green tee she had given me before leaving the safety of the bathroom. I knew that if I took too long, even Haruhi wouldn't be able to stop Tamaki from barging in.
"Mi-Chan!" Honey nearly knocked me over as soon as I opened the door. He buried his head into my stomach. I patted the back of his head, trying to comfort him. I hadn't realized how much I worried them until now. Guilt washed over me, making my stomach twist. He grabbed my hand and guided me back to my bed and forced me to sit down so we were closer to eye level. "Next time, you should tell us if someone is bullying you, Mi-chan. We can't help if you don't let us." I flinched back as he scolded me. I looked down at my hands, turning my ring around my finger.
"I'm sorry." His once stern face transformed back into his usual happy one.
"It's okay, Mi-chan. Kyo-chan took care of those bad girls." My eyes shot over to the second year that was leaning coolly against my desk.
"I do hope they packed warmly, I heard Greenland can get quite frigid." He smirked, sending shivers down my spine. It also warmed my heart to know that he would go to such lengths for me. Two sets of arms made their way around my shoulders.
"You should be happy he's on your side." Hikaru said with a grin.
"Honestly, I think they got off easy." Kaoru said with a shrug. "Mami-senpai we need to discuss your closet later."
"It needs an overhaul." They had made a huge mess of my clothes but before I could get mad, Tamaki grabbed my hands.
"Mami, we got you something. We know we can't replace what you lost but we tried our best." He pulled the box Haruhi had been carrying seemingly out of nowhere and placed it in my lap. Slowly, I opened it with encouragement from the twins who threatened to open it themselves if I took any longer. It was a book. I ran my hand down the cover, admiring the craftsmanship. My breath caught in my throat as I opened it. It was Ojiisan's pages. They were all there, even the ones that had been burned into the back of my mind as being torn in half were there and near perfect.
"We had to guess the order of the pages." Hikaru explained.
"But we saved them all. They're all there." Kaoru smiled softly.
"And we saved the leather from the original for the spine!" Honey piped up.
I sniffled as tears began to fall down my cheeks.
"Thank you. For everything." I sniffled some more. "I'm sorry for worrying you all."
"It's okay to not be okay." Mori said placing a hand on my head, ruffling my wet hair like he would Honey's from time to time. It was surprisingly comforting.
"It's okay to be sad too, Mami-senpai." Haruhi said with a smile.
"We're not going to force you to be happy, isn't that right Tamaki?" Kyoya looked at Tamaki with a look that made the blonde shrink back almost comically. I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.
"And you shouldn't force yourself either."
"Let it come naturally." The twins said from either side of me. Warmth was growing inside of me with each passing comment. They had made me feel so loved. No one had ever done something like this for me, let alone people I had only met a month ago. Honey launched himself into my lap, hugging me around the waist.
"And I'll do the smiling for both of us until you're ready, okay Mi-chan?" He grinned up at me. All I could do was nod as the words got stuck in my throat. I'm so lucky to have such great friends, Ojiisan.
Author's note:
Sorry about the delayed update, my own anxiety and depression has been taking it toll. I'm trying my best to stay motivated so please continue to be patient with me. I took a lot of liberties with this chapter for the sake of the story so I'm sorry if it's too unbelievable. I promise that's as bad as it gets, please dont hate me for it. Don't worry Kyoya isn't about to just go around throwing pills at people.
I took the conversation at the end from a LnR comic (you can find them on Facebook or Tapas) that really hit home and matched the feeling I was trying to go for. I also took some quotes from Winnie the Pooh as well, I don't own either of those things so please support the creatures as well.
Thank you all for the wonderful and supportive reviews. Please continue to enjoy this story.