Talking in unison
Mami's inner thoughts.
I own nothing but my own characters.
"What do you think about this wording, Kyoya-san?" The spectacled boy sitting next to me sighed before glancing over toward me, ignoring my notebook I had been trying to give him.
"Mami-san, I thought we agreed that we had finished this."
"I know, I know but I thought of something else. I want to make sure everything gets covered." When he didn't take my notebook, I slowly took it back into my lap, staring down at the pages that were littered with scratched out words and little notes in the sidelines. Kyoya had agreed to let me come up with a list of guidelines for his family's water park to follow regarding the animals, which I think he was beginning to regret after the fifth draft that I given him.
"I assure you that everything has been covered and implemented. Don't forget that you have to interact with the guests too. This is a host club event after all." As if on cue, some girls squealed as Hikaru and Kaoru put on their brotherly act as they played volleyball. Tamaki had surprised everyone by inviting guests along for the impromptu beach trip, though I believe it was actually Kyoya living up to his name of the Shadow king.
"I know." I picked up some sand next to me and let it slowly fall back down. I was using the guidelines as an excused to distract myself from not being able to see Ojiisan for a couple of days. When I had told him about the trip, he had gotten so excited that he had practically put me in the limo himself. I couldn't help the feeling of guilt that had settled in though. His good days were become less and less frequent.
"If you'll excuse me, I have to organize the one-on-one time with Tamaki's guests." Kyoya shut his notebook and rose from his beach chair beside mine. I waved goodbye and watched him make his way over to where a line of girls was already waiting. Tamaki was fidgeting on the rock, probably trying to figure out which position would make him more attractive.
"Mami-senpai?" I turned quickly to see two girls; I tried my best to give them a convincing smile.
"If you're looking for Kyoya-san, he's right over there." The girl in front shook her head.
"No, we were looking for you."
"We were wondering if you could teach us about the animals in the tide pools over there?" The second one said, pointing over toward some rocks.
"R-really?" The both nodded enthusiastically. "S-sure. I can do that." They squealed with delight as I stood up, brushing the sand off my orange sundress the twins had given me for the trip. Together we climb over some of the bigger rocks to get to the small pools of water that were nestled between the rocks.
"I think the animals that live in tidal pools are pretty amazing." I jumped right into presenter mode before my growing anxiety got the better of me. "They had to be able to survive some pretty extreme conditions. Like right now, with low tide, they have to withstand the rising temperature of the water, low oxygen and increased exposure to predators." I squatted down next to a fairly good-sized pool and motioned for me to join me.
"You see the gathering of turban snails there? They retreat into their shells during the low tide to avoid getting dehydrated. And then you get guys like this." I brushed the rough skin of the starfish that was clinging to a rock with two fingers. "During the high tide they use the thousands of suction cups on their limbs to cling to the rocks so they don't get thrown around."
I pointed out more animals as we went along. I was just as excited as they were with each new find. After a while, the girls thanked me and ran off to join in a new game of volleyball that was just starting. I was thankful for the distraction and talking about animals always made me feel closer to Ojiisan.
"Oi!" The twins called out, waving me over toward them. They were relaxing in some beach chairs while Tamaki was standing in front of them. From the movements, I could tell he was telling them his grand plan about walking down the beach with Haruhi he as told me last night. As I made my way over to them, I saw Nekozawa walking up behind Tamaki clad in his dark robe with a large black umbrella to shade him from the sunlight. A few weeks ago, Nekozawa had asked me on some tips to become closer friends with Tamaki. I was honestly a little surprised at the request but I tried my best to give him what little advice I could offer. Unfortunately it didn't look like my advice was helping. Tamaki looked terrified as Nekozawa spoke before rushing off shortly after with the twins toward the cat shaped rock in the distance.
"Hello, Nekozawa-san. Beelzebub-kun."
"Hello, Kusumoto-san." He wiggled the puppet on his hand in greeting.
"Thank you for allowing the host club to use your family's beach. It was very kind of you." Together we walked toward where the boys had rushed off too. "I'm sorry my advice doesn't seem to be working."
"Kukuku nonsense, Kusumoto-san." We entered the cave together. Skeletons and battle props decorated the floor. "I tried to create a more artistic atmosphere for everybody's enjoyment."
Well, I did tell him that Tamaki loves detailed things.
"I've always wanted to establish a closer friendship with Suoh-san."
"WHY?!" Tamaki cried and ran away from the cave, dragging Haruhi behind him. I placed a hand on my friend's shoulder.
"He'll come around, he just gets scared easily. I'll talk with him and he'll see what a great friend you can be, Nekozawa-san."
"Mi-chan! Come hellfish shunting with us!" Honey waved over to me, showing off a bucket filled to the brim with different crabs and shells. Haruhi was already hurriedly filling up her own bucket.
"Huh?"
"My men wanted to apologize to Honey-senpai about the misunderstanding." Kyoya said as he walked up beside me and pointed over toward some men unloading buckets of sea life onto the beach. Well at least that explained why there are so many of them.
"Please tell me they're prepared to clean up the left over? It can be harmful to the environment to introduce so many at a time." Kyoya nodded in understanding and left to go inform his security team.
"CENTIPEDE!" A few girls screamed, bringing my attention toward Tamaki who was holding a large crab with a fairly large centipede on it. He looked frozen in fear as Haruhi calmly took the bug and chucked it over the rocks.
"Haruhi!" I shouted.
"It won't die just because of that."
"That's not the point." I sighed, trying to find a glimpse of the bug. "You could have been a little kinder." She shrugged and was soon surrounded by guests who were praising her for being so brave. I felt a sense of relief when I stopped the thrown bug making it way over some rocks.
"Mami-senpai, do you want to join in the 'Who can find out Haruhi's weakness game?'" Kaoru said putting an arm around my shoulder.
"She'd probably just get scared herself." Hikaru chuckled as I frowned.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, come on, Mami-senpai. You get scared of so many things."
"I do not." The twins shared a look before bursting out laughing again.
"You flinch at loud noises"
"And you get nervous talking to people to name a few." Hikaru and Kaoru listed off. I pushed Kaoru's arm off of me before crossing my own arms in front of me.
"That doesn't mean I scared of them. I just don't like unexpected loud noises or talking to people I don't know." Unfortunately it fell on deaf ears as Kyoya pulled some photos of Haruhi out as a prize for the winner. I made myself comfortable on the beach and watched as the boys tried to scare Haruhi. The younger girl was unflappable though and didn't flinch at any of their attempts.
"Mami, do you think these are enough rat snakes to be scary?" Tamaki rushed over carrying a bucket in his hands. The twins were following closely behind, looking bored.
"Tamaki, what are you talking about? Rat snakes aren't native to Okinawa." I peered down inside and I felt my heart beginning to race as I recognized them. "H-habu."
"Habu?!" All three of the boys shouted before sprinting away, the twins running to get away from the venomous snakes and Tamaki followed after them, still holding on to the bucket.
"Tamaki! Stop running and slowly put the bucket down!" I called out, getting up from the ground, preparing to run after them, when a guest ran up calling out for Tamaki.
"It's Haruhi-kun!" She pointed toward the cat shaped rock. Two bigger men were holding onto Haruhi, forcing her closer and closer to the edge. The boys didn't hesitate as they raced off in that direction.
I fell to my knees. My heart was racing; I could hear my breath becoming more and more ragged as my vision began to tunnel.
My friends are in danger. I could lose my friends.
Those words kept repeating loudly in my head as I watched Haruhi getting pushed off the cliff side, Tamaki following soon after, reaching toward her. I felt like my heart was going to stop they landed in the water with a large splash.
"Mami." A deep voice said as I felt someone kneel down beside me. My heart was pounding in my ears so loudly that I was surprised that I could even hear what the person was saying next to me. Mori was next to me, his face was no longer in its usual stoic state. He looked worried and unsure of what to do.
"Excuse me, Morinozuka-san." Nekozawa appeared on the other side of me; surprisingly calm with everything that was happening around him. "May I try something with Kusumoto-san?" Mori looked at me, which I'm sure wasn't a pretty sight. I could feel the tears flowing down my face and I was becoming all too aware of my raged breathing. He nodded at the dark boy. "Kusumoto-san, name five things you can see."
"W-what?"
"Kusumoto-san, five things you can see. Trust me." Nekozawa said beside me. Mori placed his hands on my upper arms, placing himself in front of me, forcing me to focus on him instead of the water where my best friend had disappeared.
"S-sand, the ocean, that scallop shell. a c-crab, and Tamaki!" Nekozawa nodded, grinning as Mori glanced briefly over his shoulder to see Tamaki slowly beginning to walk out of the ocean with Haruhi in his arms.
"Good, now, four things you can touch." Nekozawa continued.
"The warm sand, my soft dress, this smooth rock and Mori-kun." Slowly, I could feel my body become less tense as I continued to focus on the grounding exercise Nekozawa was forcing me to go through. Mori's grip on my arms loosened as he felt me beginning to relax but he didn't let go, which I was grateful for. His touch was comforting.
"Three things you can hear." I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything but my own ragged breathing and the cries of the girls as Tamaki and Haruhi finally made it back to land.
"The waves crashing on the beach, the seagull crying over head and the wind whistling through the cave."
"Good, almost there. Two things you can smell." I kept my eyes closed. My heart was no longer racing and my breath was almost back to normal. My body felt heavy.
"Sandalwood and citrus." It was a familiar scent. One that made me feel safe and warm and brought back memories of the dance. I opened my eyes quickly, realizing why the scent was so familiar.
"Last one, Kusumoto-san, one thing you can taste."
"Tears?" I tried to say in a joking manner as I licked the saltiness off my lips and tried to whip away the tear stains on my cheeks. Mori smiled and ruffled my hair, his hand lingering just a second on the back on my neck as he looked down at me.
"Feeling better?"
"Yeah, I'm just a little tired. Thank you."
"I'm glad it worked for you, Kusumoto-san." Nekozawa stood back up, grabbing the umbrella he had cast aside. "Though I have a spell that will help as well, I'll go prepare that now." I grabbed his hand as he turned to leave.
"Thank you, Nekozawa-kun." My mind was still racing and I couldn't find the right words I wanted to say to him. He chuckled in his unique way and simply said, "I get them too." Before turning around to head toward the house. Mori stood up beside me and offered a hand. I took it and allowed him to help me up, taking a second to get my feet back under me. Mori stayed close to my side as we walked toward the rest of the host club. As we got closer I could here Tamaki and Haruhi arguing.
"I'm never talking to you again until you realize your mistake." This was the first time I had seen Tamaki so upset. Haruhi just stared at him defiantly, they both looked like they were unharmed from the fall. Tamaki stormed away from the group, glancing back a couple of times to check to see if Haruhi was going to do anything. Eventually he saw me, his face fell as he raced over away from the group. "Mami! Are you okay?"
"Panic attack." Mori said simply, somehow knowing that I was going to try and play it off. Tamaki became almost comically frantic and he paced back and forth mumbling to himself and shouting to Kyoya for help. I grabbed his arm and pulled him into a crushing hug.
"Tamaki, I'm okay now. Mori-kun and Nekozawa-kun helped me." I held on to him tighter as the feeling of the fear I felt just moments before bubbled up to the surface. "I'm so happy you're okay but please don't scare me like that again. I thought I was going to lose you."
"I promise. I'm sorry."
The tension around the dinner table that night was so thick you could almost cut it with a knife. Haruhi was stabbing at Tamaki's hand as he tried to grab some crab off of her plate. I slowly sipped at my miso soup.
"Mi-chan, do you want some crab?" Honey asked beside me. He held up a fairly huge crab and I could feel my stomach beginning to twist. There was just something about seafood that grossed me out extra hard.
"Oh no thank you, Honey-kun. I'm good with my soup."
"Mami doesn't eat meat, Honey-sempai." Kyoya said snapping a crab leg in half and sucking out the meat. Honey began to apology but I stopped him.
"It's fine, you didn't know and I've got plenty to eat right here. Besides it looks like Haruhi is eating enough for the both of us." The girl now had a sizeable pile of crab shells on her plate as she continued to dig into another one. After some more tense and awkward moments Tamaki announced he was going to bed and left with Kyoya in tow.
"Maybe I really should learn some karate or something." Haruhi said suddenly, looking deep in thought as she stared at the unbroken crab leg in front of her.
"Oh, so it has been bothering you." The twins said in unison.
"That's a thought but not really where we were hoping you'd go with this." Kaoru rested his chin on his hand.
"I wish you'd reconsider how rashly you acted today." Hikaru leaned back in his chair a bit.
"Why? I didn't make trouble for you guys, did I?"
"Actually," I leaned forward a bit in my chair. "I had a panic attack." Haruhi's eyes widened as the realization of consequences of her actions started to come to light. "I was so scared and worried that you were going to get hurt or worse and then Tamaki jumped too!" with each word, my speech became faster and faster as I began to relive that moment again, I was snapped out of it by a large, warm hand grabbing one of mine. Mori squeezed my hand, silently reassuring me.
"You should apologize to everyone, Haru-chan. Especially to Tama-chan for making him worry so much, okay?"
"I really made you guys worry that much?" Haruhi sounded slightly surprised before looking down sadly. "I'm sorry I caused you to have a panic attack and I'm sorry for making everyone worry."
"You're so cute!" The twins and Honey jumped up to hug her. I wiggled my way in as well, giving the poor girl a hug. The make up session didn't last long before Haruhi turned green and raced frantically toward the door.
"I think she ate too fast." I said as the door slammed shut behind her. The boys nodded in agreement.
My mind was going a million miles a minute. I kept replaying everything that had happened in my head, making it impossible to sleep. I got tired of lying in my bed and decided to take a walk around the mansion, hoping some light exercise would help. Eventually I found what looked to be a sunroom. Large windows took up almost the entire wall, showing off a beautiful view of the beach below. The waves to crashing into the rocks as the storm outside began to pick up. It didn't look like the room was used very often. There wasn't much furniture, just a small couch with a blanket hanging off the back of it, some barely filled bookshelves and a table with a lamp on it. There was a flash of light that filled the whole room, as lighting stuck out from the dark clouds overhead. At the same time it began to down pour. The rain created a soothing rhythm on the glass.
Taking the blanket that was hanging off the back of the couch, I wrapped myself in it before snuggling into the arm of the couch. I stared out the windows as the storm picked up. I could hear some soft footsteps coming up behind me and then stop. When the person didn't say anything, I had a pretty good idea of who it was. I glanced up and found Mori. He didn't say a word and just stared out the window.
"You couldn't sleep either?" He looked down at me before nodding his head. Another bolt of lighting filled the room with light, followed shortly by a loud clap of thunder. "Do you want to join me?" I sat up a little straighter, allowing him enough room to sit down next to me. The couch was big enough for the both of us but just barely, I was all too aware of his leg that was pressed against mine. We sat in a comfortable silence as the storm continued outside. I pulled the blanket closer to me, seeking the warmth it brought.
"Here." Mori wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to his chest. My heart was pounding as I felt my face heat up.
"I-I'm okay. I have a blanket." I tried to pull away as my stomach began to do flips. He held on tighter to my shoulder, refusing to let me move.
"You're cold." Realizing I was fighting a losing battle, I gave up. I shifted a bit to get into a more comfortable position. Eventually the pounding of my own heart was replaced by the steady beating of his.
"-sleeping?" I slowly opened my eyes, blinking away the sleep, to find a pair of caramel eyes staring back at me. Honey giggled as I scrambled away from Mori who just watched with an amused looked.
"You looked really comfy, Mi-chan."
"W-what are you doing here, Honey-kun?" I asked hoping to change the subject as my ears felt like they were on fire.
"I came to find Takashi and found you here too." Honey grinned. "We're going to go check on Haru-chan and Tama-chan. Kyo-chan said they should have made up by now."
"Oh. Okay, yeah lets do that." I leapt up from the couch and raced toward the door. Kyoya and the twins were waiting in the hallway as I flung the door open.
"I found him and Mi-chan was here too!" Honey cheered from Mori's back. The twins shared a look but were cut off from whatever they were going to say by another crash of thunder.
"Good, lets go check on the idiot then." Kyoya said shortly after and began down the hallway. The twins threw open the door without knocking revealing Tamaki and Haruhi kneeling on the floor as Tamaki finished tying the knot on the blindfold.
"It's not what it looks like!" Tamaki said frantically.
This is going to take a lot of explaining.
Author's note:
Thank you so much for the follows and favorites, it means so much to me that so many people are enjoying this story enough to want to follow it. Please take the time to review if you can, it would mean the world to me.
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique that Nekozawa used is an actually thing you can do to help someone calm down from an anxiety or panic attack. I've personally used it myself and found it worked out. Clearly I took some liberties with the characters but I like to think that I'm not too far off with Nekozawa having panic attacks.
I tried my best to write some fluff for you guys without it seeming too out of character. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you have anything you'd like to see, please let me know! You all are the best!