CHAPTER 18

Author's note: Hey fellas! So, I had some writer's block (yet again) and barely time because of college. Thank you for your consideration and patience though, it means a lot.

Oh wait, a warning, this one is heavily emotional, so there you go, a head's up. Enjoy!

Ps: I tried to write differently because I've seen some people saying that my previous chapters were a bit difficult to read. Just keep in mind that I'm not native and that this is my first time writing in another language, so bear with me for a while. But anyways, feedback is always welcomed, so keep it up with the comments if you guys have some thoughts.

Ruby POV

"Stupid girl!", I yelled in frustration while looking at the mirror "You had one shot". My reflection seemed to be looking at me mockingly. I swallowed yet another glass of whiskey. This is something that I didn't need, not right now at least.

As I was removing myself from the mirror, I realized that I had lost count of how many drinks I have had already. I guess it must have been more than four given the blurred image I currently have of my kitchen, although that may have been caused by my tears.

I can't handle this. It's too much pain, too many feelings and I hate feeling things, it's overwhelming for me.

Inevitably, images keep flashing through my mind of the time I've spent with Zel…Zelena.

"This is getting out of hand", I said out loud.

The only thing I can allow myself to think right now is me. That's how it should have been from the very beginning. If only I had listened to my gut, I wouldn't be in this situation. Although maybe it's for the best, after all, I have been heartbroken before, and it only has made me stronger…

So, I guess I can only arise from this situation now, can't I?

I can, of course…

Despite the sudden positive feeling, my body decided that it was not on the same page that my mind was. And so, I collapsed.

3 hours later…

They looked at each other's eyes. This was happening. After all this time, it was going to happen. And what was going to happen you might ask? The kiss. One kiss. A long-awaited kiss was about to turn these two lover's life's upsides down.

The waiting was insufferable for both, frustration was an everyday feeling for these two.
It was hard enough that they lived apart from each other, but the worst was the secrecy. Both lovers were experts in hiding their emotions, it had worked in their lives so far...But it couldn't work now. Not when their very souls were full of longing, desire, passion and most of it all… doubt.

They had never felt this in their lives. Never such a strong emotion had left them in such a shock that they didn't even know how to handle.

And of course, inevitably, they hurt each other in the process of denying what they felt.

But not anymore. Not tonight.

Zelena touched Ruby's face carefully, in a feather-touch way.
She looked deeply into the brunette's eyes and expressed everything that she couldn't express with words. Zelena lifted a brow in a questioning way as if asking for reassurance. Ruby knew what she meant by it, so she smiled and nodded. She did want this, she was ready to give in. And so Zelena took a step closer and then a step again and after a few seconds, they were inches away from each other.

At last, Ruby dedicated one last longing look to Zelena as she pulled her closer. Zelena felt Ruby's strong arms surrounding her waist, so she let her as she placed her arms around the raven-haired girl. And it happened, the first-ever kiss between the two arrived. All they could feel as they were savouring each other was a mix of emotions, quite like fireworks, because they were strong and enticing as hell. But that's what you're supposed to feel...

Right?

Emma POV

"Zelena?", Ruby whispered as she rose from her deep slumber. The sun was shining brightly through the curtains but that didn't seem very positive for her at that very moment.

"No honey", I said sadly. "How are you feeling Rubes?"

"I'm still alive but that doesn't feel okay today…", she mentioned her voice sounding lower and deeper than usual. "Wait, what are you doing here? I thought you were in New York". She questioned me.

"Well, you weren't responding to any of my calls, so of course, I got worried". She looked guilty for my concern but she didn't say a word. "Damn it! Rubes what happened between Zel…", she cut me off.

"Don't. Say. Her. Name", Ruby growled.

"That bad huh", I sighed audibly. "Well let's not talk about that for now…"

I sat at the end of her sofa.

"I'm here to take care of you dear friend. I got your back", I said while putting a hand on her shoulder. "You know this. Right, Wolfie?", I winked at her mentioning her old high school nickname which brought a tiny smile to her face.

"I do Swan, thanks", she put her hand above mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

This sight of Ruby is not the worst that I have seen, but it worries me, especially knowing how badly she wanted this to work.

Fuck.

How am I supposed to fill her in the Nolan case now?

Regina POV

"Damn it Zelena pick up the fucking phone already", I said irritated as I drove to work using the hands-free option. No matter how many times I would call her, she was not going to pick it up. We Mills girls are stubborn to the core, so if she's hurting, the last thing she would want to do now is talk. To be fair, it is not just talking, it's the fact that you must accept that you're hurting, and you may need someone to have your back. And that is a thing that we are both terrible at, accepting weaknesses is not our strong suit.

We are aware that it is not a very healthy coping mechanism, but I don't know, blame our terrible mother figure for that…

As I was ending the inner dialogue with myself, I parked the car and then stepped into my 'oh so beloved yet hated most of the time' office.

Working now felt wrong, especially knowing that something big must have occurred between my sister and the wolf girl. It was odd because they had gone suddenly radio silent.

Anyways, I had no choice but to work if I wanted to pay the bills, so I decided to pour myself some coffee from within the break room.

After doing so, my mind decided to drift off to my favourite person. My beloved Emma. I sighed content at the thought of her. She is something else, I don't know what I would do without her, that's for sure.

I stopped that thought suddenly.

"Oh, stop it, Regina, she's not going to hurt you", I spoke softly.

I sighed frustrated at my insecurities regarding the dating world. But before giving more into paranoia, let me explain myself. The problem is that I never had the best of lucks with lovers. Either I liked them too much and then they turned out to be assholes and I had to forget about them, or, it was just emotionless sex, there was no in-between.

So, you could imagine the struggle that this new partner represented for me.

I can't even begin to comprehend my feelings, which to some extent are scary, to say the least. More than scary I would say. They are terrifying. After all, I didn't ask for these feelings, I just got them out of the blue, without even a warning. What was I supposed to do? Should I just accept them without my usual dose of dramatism, self-hatred and paranoia? No thanks. That's not how I work. It's fucked up and sad even, but it's my coping mechanism when I have unexpected feelings…

Although lately, the self-hatred part has lowered thanks to a new perspective that I came up with 'don't treat yourself in the same way that you've been treated, choose love instead'.

Emma has a lot to do in this new perspective I may add. I think I started pursuing my happiness because of her, and for that and many other reasons, I think that this, whatever is between us, could lead to something precious.

There was a loud noise and that could only mean Sidney. Just what I needed right now.

"Mayor Mills I have some news and they're really important!", he came almost running to the firm judging by his agitated look.

"Mister Sidney, how many times do I need to remind you not to run to places, after all, you get all sweaty and this is a small place and I do not need to smell like… I don't even want to name it", I said in my firm voice. This man is like a child, honestly, so pathetic…

"I know Mayor Mills, but this piece of information is relevant to our case because it could turn it upside down", he looked serious for once, so this must be very important.

"Speak Sidney", I said with an authoritarian voice.

Ruby POV

"Emma, I know that you want to take care of me, but this is too much", I looked at myself in the mirror. "I mean really, who would want to shag me in this outfit?"

"Ruby dear, if someone likes you while wearing this, you can be sure that they wouldn't want just a shag. Besides, you worth a lot more than being treated like meat you know". She hugged me from behind while she looked at me through the mirror. I could sense her unique way of lifting a heavyweight off somebody's shoulders right at that instant.

"I appreciate it Swan, but really, don't you think that a wolf onesie is way too much?", I only said half-joking.

"Of course not! I bought myself a Swan onesie, we had to match Rubes", she said proudly, and I laughed at her response.

"Thank you, I needed that", I said turning around and hugging her. I will never recognize it in front of her, but she is the best hugger, and I could use one in that very moment.

Emma hugged me back. "What are friends for?", she winked at me.

After that lovely moment, we broke the hug and when I looked at her, she seemed conflicted for a millisecond.

"Emma, what's wrong?", I frowned a little.

"Oh, nothing". Emma said confidently.

I knew that she was lying but I let it slide. She would tell me sooner rather than later knowing her.

Regina POV

"Miss Mills there's evidence that Mr Whale has been lying to us regarding the Nolan case. I know for a fact that he's no victim". He gave me a file supporting his accusations. "It's all written down in this file". I frowned. Emma must have known this already…

"Where did you get this from Sidney?", I questioned him with my signature eyebrow raise.

He shrugged his shoulders and then responded "I have a contact. We used to work in the same place until he moved to another work employment and we lost contact, but luckily for our case, he's employed at the police station that's handling the Nolan case back in New York. As soon as I found out, I called back a favour and he told me everything". Now that was impressive, to say the least. But of course, I would never let those words leave my mouth.

"Good job Sidney…for once". I looked through the file and I was instantly shocked. I had to go through this file on my own if I wanted to study it profoundly.

"I will be in my office", I said to Sidney. Not surprisingly, he was yet again an annoying imbecile who just stood there and did nothing. He seemed like a dog waiting for his owner's orders. How pathetic can one person be? Honestly, it drives me insane…

"Now don't you just stand there looking stupid!". I used my authoritarian voice. "Go and find something useful to do with your time", I said as I shooed him away. He finally went back to earth and went away to do whatever.

I went back to my office with the file on my hands. I was ready to figure out what the hell was going on once and for all.

After spending half an hour revising the file, I decided to take a break and go for a walk. I grabbed my purse and coat and went outside. Luckily for me, Sidney left a while ago, so I had no one to give explanations to.

I needed to stop. I read so many things in such a little time that I sensed a headache approaching.

"Perfect", I sighed audibly. Anyways, I decided to ignore the pain and I kept on walking.

I still can't believe what I read about 'Dr. Whale'. He was not the person he said he was. There was a twin brother called Sebastian Whale that died a few years ago and he took his name and his profession, which was crazy, to say the least. This said 'doctor' was a man identified as Blaine Anderson. It is vital to know that the two brothers had different last names because Sebastian didn't want anything to do with his family anymore, so he legally changed his last name.

Blaine Anderson was a criminal that was presumed dead on the same date as his brother died. What a coincidence, right? What happened was that he swapped their identities because he was being chased by the authorities. Blaine had been inside a very deadly crime organization for several years and he learned that his gang was close to getting caught. So, he took the smartest, or so he thought, way out: faking his death.

Luckily for our case, Sidney's contact knew the real Dr Whale for years and he started suspecting his evil twin brother for several months now. It was a stupid conversation that the two had which gave it all away. The two friends were talking about a silly thing such as their favourite food. As I just learned, Sebastian Whale was allergic to almost every food while Blaine Anderson wasn't, so the policeman was very surprised when "Whale" said that his most favourite food in the world was seafood, a food that Whale was heavily allergic to. So as soon as he put two and two together, he met with Sidney.

This case was not the easy case I thought it would be, and I had clear now more than ever, that Sebastian Whale or in this case, Blaine Anderson, was the culprit of Miss Nolan's strange death. Poor family, I will have to contact to them to fill them in the news, but before that, I had to visit the station to agree what and what not to mention to the victim's family. And before doing that I needed to Emma. Soon.

Zelena POV

I needed to fight back. There was a lot of things that I had done wrong in my life. But I could fix this. I had to try at least. I looked at my reflection in the mirror as I thought those things and then, I proceeded to cover the bruises on my face with make-up.

After a little while, I was finally ready and went to grab my suitcase. While I was packing my things, I saw every call and text that my sister had left me. "Such a drama queen", I said and then I rolled my eyes.

I decided to ignore her just, for now, I would explain everything to her later. After all, there was another person that needed an explanation first, and that person was no other than Ruby. I owed her a big apology.

After driving for what seemed like a lifetime, I finally arrived back to Storybrooke. I parked at the local parking lot and went straight to Ruby's house.

While I was walking to her house, every possible scenario was running through my head and I was unable to stop my thoughts. There was a lot at risk in here after all. I needed to keep her updated on the latest news. I had to tell her everything once after all.

Only ten minutes passed, and I could already see her house. It was time to be sincere. I sighed and went to her front porch. "Here we go", I said lowly as I rang the bell.

I couldn't wait to see her. No matter what happened.

Ruby POV

Emma left two hours ago because she had to go back to New York. So, I decided to clean the house and get distracted in the process. While I did that, I put some music on, and I quickly tidied everything.

"This looks like a house now", I said out loud. After leaving everything back to its place, I decided to take a quick shower. Half an hour later I was reading in the couch when I heard the doorbell ring. I groaned and I went to open the door.

As soon as I opened the door, I regretted getting up from the couch in the first place. It couldn't be. Not her, not now. I was starting to push her out of my life, and here she was. Again.

"What the hell are you doing here huh?". I said confidently.

"Ruby please I just want to explain myself". The read headed woman began.

"Oh really?". I put my hands on my hips in defiance "You need to leave", I said using a firm voice.

"I know that I hurt you and I'm deeply sorry. There's a reason why I left so abruptly a week ago. You have to believe me please". Zelena begged.

I struggled for a moment because she seemed sincere.

"First of all, your apology means nothing to me, let's be clear. You made a choice. You left. And now what, you think that coming back is going to make me magically trust in you again?". I felt my anger buzzing inside me. I menacingly took a step towards her and she stepped back afraid. "Second of all, I only believe in myself, thanks to you", I said through gritted teeth. "So, why don't you just disappear and get lost, you're an expert in that after all". If glances could kill, she would be more than dead by now.

"I understand you, Ruby. I deserve all that, but I'm going to talk now, and I expect that you listen closely". She said calmly yet demanding.

Suddenly, all the pain that I have ever endured channelled into that very moment, and I exploded without even a warning. "No! You don't get to speak. Do you understand how badly you treated me? Are you even aware of the nightmare that you pulled me through?", I looked at Zelena intensely.

"You made me care. Given the little time that we have spent together, I have felt more alive than I have ever felt in years. And then you abandoned me!" I struggled not to let a simple tear out. "Why? Was it too complicated for you to talk about how you felt?" I looked at her as if shooting daggers were bursting through my eyes. "I thought we were honest with each other, but I was wrong. You used me for your selfish reasons. Reasons, that I don't understand nor care about." I sounded broken and hurt, but well, that was how I was feeling.

Zelena's eyes looked miserable. Good, now it was her turn. I wanted her to suffer the same, if not more, of how I've suffered since I ever laid eyes on her.

"You made me care and now I loathe you. Which is a big deal for me because I tend to avoid conflicts, but I can't even stand seeing your face". I wasn't in control anymore and I let the monster out. And of course, said monster went for the final kill.

"You're just a pathetic excuse of a woman standing here in front of me, pretending, once again, that you care about someone else other than yourself". I spat out merciless. "Now, do me a favour, and GET. THE HELL. OUT!". I shouted those last four words.

Everything was silent. My rush of anger started to get tamed and I realized what I said.

"If that is how you feel I will leave you alone". Zelena responded calmly. "If you need any help with the case you can call me". She pulled out a white little cardboard with her initials and the law firm in it. She extended her left hand for me to take the paper. I looked at her angrily and I took the paper and then proceeded to crush it into a thousand little pieces.

"I don't think that's such a good idea". I looked at the floor and then I stared at her. "You can have your card back", I said while I threw the paper at her.

The red-headed woman was trying hard to compose herself, but I could see how deeply she was hurting in that very moment. I didn't even pity her. I was enjoying that little revenge of mine. After all, I had nothing else to lose, so I didn't care anymore. I was, once again, hopeless. Zelena tried to find in my eyes some mercy but it was to no avail, my walls were higher than ever and there was no more compassion left.

I fixed my clothes and I looked at her for a second before responding for the last time.

"Get out of my life already". I said coldly.

While I spoke that final statement, Zelena seemed destroyed. Good. No one hurts me like that and gets away with it.

Like I said before I wasn't in control of myself. The monster inside of me was in charge once again, it was hungry and it wanted revenge for being tamed for so many years, so, normally, it took its very first victim.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Good day/night/afternoon people!

Lots of love, Cris.