Title: A Common Foe
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, the films are copyright of Warner Bros., Legendary, Toho Co. and Universal Studios.
Note/Warnings: I am aware that there have been rumours and a sort of revelation that Godzilla and Kong would tag team against another enemy in Godzilla vs Kong. However, I decided that if Godzilla and Kong should fight a common enemy, I'll give them one. It's all from Kong's perspective since it's easier to write based on that scene from the novelization for Godzilla: King of the Monsters. This is just twisted and crude fan humour, so don't take it too seriously.
Kong was going to make Godzilla pay. After Kong heard the alpha call of the false king, Skull Island was thrown into chaos. The alpha call woke the Skull crawlers, driving the reptilian fiends to attack the other inhabitants of the island, including the people who called Kong their god. While Kong was able to handle some of the Skull crawlers, others slipped from his grasp to continue the massacre at their new master's bidding.
When the false king was defeated, the damage on Skull Island was done and Kong had to hold someone accountable. Godzilla was supposed to keep the balance in check for the rest of world, but failed to stop the false king before the Skull crawlers awoke. Determined to get revenge, Kong was able to find Godzilla in this strange colony of humans near the coast of the ocean, and then they fought.
Kong threw a punch at Godzilla, hitting the great reptile across the jaw. Snarling, Godzilla scratched at Kong with a sweeping motion. Kong jumped back, Godzilla's sharp claws missing his face by a hair's width. Another scratch just grazing Kong's hairy arm.
Searching his surroundings, Kong had to use anything he could find to attack Godzilla from a safer distance. Unlike the human colony of Skull Island, this colony had lots of big metal structures and smaller metal things rolling on the ground. The great ape grabbed a long, rectangular, metal object from the ground, it was blue and white with black round pieces that allowed it to roll. It fit the length of his hand and he might at least give Godzilla a good sting if his aim was just right. Kong raised his arm and took aim to throw the projectile.
Before he could throw, Kong heard Godzilla's wretched excuses that the mass awakening was not his doing. Godzilla protested with grunts and growls that he tried stopping the false king but the humans interfered. The humans' weapon caused Godzilla to fall in combat while the false king remained unaffected and unhindered to take control over the other titans. It was only until Godzilla recovered with the humans' assistance to defeat the false king and win the title of alpha.
Sneering, Kong responded with the fact that it did not change anything for him. The Skull crawlers still sent Skull Island to Hell and Kong was going to make Godzilla regret failing to kill the false king sooner.
Angrily, Kong threw the metal object, which went flying and hit Godzilla between the eyes. Godzilla winced and roared irritably. The great reptile swung his massive tail through one of the metal structures, sending debris flying at Kong.
With one hand, Kong shielded his eyes from the small pieces. With the other hand, he picked up another object he could throw. It was one of those rolling green boxes with a tube on top that were shooting at both him and Godzilla, which felt heavier in his hand. Kong lifted his arm to throw while Godzilla's jagged dorsal plates glowed electric blue.
"Kong, Godzilla," said a strange singsong voice from Kong's right, "please don't fight each other. Can't you two just get along?"
Kong lowered his arm and Godzilla's spines stopped glowing. Slowly turning his head, while keeping an eye on Godzilla, Kong spied the source of the voice. The ape noticed Godzilla was also looking in the same direction. The source of the voice was a saurian, standing on two legs like Godzilla, but a very different sort of creature. While Godzilla had dark grey scales, sharp teeth, claws, leaf shaped dorsal plates and a long tail, this creature seemed like a ridiculous parody of a saurian compared to Godzilla's fearsome yet, Kong had to reluctantly admit, majestic form. The strange newcomer was an absurd combination of purple and green, with short arms ending in what resembled mittens, a short fat tail, ridiculously big feet and an even abnormally big head, complete with a black void of a mouth lined by a white rim where teeth should have been and glassy white and black eyes.
"Kong, Godzilla, you two don't need to fight each other," the newcomer said in that annoying singsong voice, "you seem to be in a disagreement. Shouldn't you work it out together without fighting?"
Kong suspiciously wrinkled his nose and he stared down the newcomer. It felt odd that he could understand this stranger and that the stranger knew both his name and Godzilla's, but he didn't want to drop his guard. Was the newcomer another saurian in league with Godzilla to team against the ape? Kong glanced at Godzilla, the great reptile had his red-gold eyes narrowed to slits and nostrils flaring. It seemed that Godzilla was also suspicious of the newcomer as much as Kong was.
"Oh, silly me," the newcomer said, "I should introduce myself. I am Barney and I am here to tell you to set aside your quarrel and sort out your problems like friends should."
Friends? Kong sneered at the words that came out of Barney's gaping black mouth. The great ape could never be friends with the likes of Godzilla, or the absurd purple and green abomination spewing out such rubbish. Out of the corner of his eye, Kong noticed that Godzilla was looking just as annoyed by Barney's prattle. Godzilla's upper lip was curling back to bare his sharp teeth into a snarl.
"I know that you are both mad at each other," said Barney in that cringe-worthy cheery voice, "but why don't you stop and just discuss why you're mad. Then you can make up and be friends." The ridiculous purple creature waved his mitten-like hands while smiling with his gaping black mouth and staring with his glassy eyes.
No longer caring for Barney's prattling, Kong turned his gaze to Godzilla, who was gazing back. They stared at each other for a moment, they blinked a few times, both trying to make sense of all this. Slowly, Kong and Godzilla turned their gazes to Barney. Why should they follow that purple abomination's rather ludicrous advice? Kong was handling things just fine by fighting Godzilla until either of them could not go on or died.
Kong fixed his stare back to Godzilla, who stared back calmly. Suddenly, Kong no longer felt angry towards Godzilla. After staring at each other for a moment, Kong came to a realization who the real enemy was and Godzilla seemed to realize it too. Kong grinned as he fixed his gaze back onto Barney. At the same time, Godzilla was also making a cold-blooded grin as he stared at the purple creature.
"Oh, wonderful," Barney chimed, waving his mitten-like hands, "the two of you have set aside your differences. Just put big happy smiles on your faces!"
Godzilla was the first to advance with his long tail swishing. Kong followed the great reptile as Godzilla circled behind Barney.
"Do you two want to dance?" asked Barney as Kong and Godzilla circled him. "Okay, let's dance! La, la, la, la, la!" The purple and green dinosaur began waving his short arms, wagging his fat tail and tapping his feet on the spot. It was true that Kong and Godzilla were engaged in a dance, but it was the dance of two predators on their prey and they knew how it would end.
Kong circled behind Barney as Godzilla circled to the front. When the great ape was right behind the purple creature, Kong slammed his foot on Barney's tail and hooked his long hairy arms under Barney's short ones.
"Are you giving me a hug, Kong?" Barney asked in that ridiculous sing-song voice. "Would you mind getting off of my tail? It's very uncomfortable." The purple dinosaur's pleas were ignored, Kong refused to release his prey.
As Kong held Barney in place, Godzilla stood in front of the purple dinosaur. With clawed hands, Godzilla grabbed Barney's upper and lower jaws. Kong kept his own grip tight as he watched Godzilla's dorsal spines glow blue.
"Ugh! Ugh!" Barney's protests were feeble whimpers, considering that his black void of a mouth was pried wide open by Godzilla.
With a deep breath, Godzilla blasted his blue fire right into Barney's gaping mouth. Kong could feel the heat as Godzilla's breath attack went down the purple dinosaur's throat. The heat was so intense that it burned Barney's large, miserable head right off.
Kong released the decapitated body and let it drop with a thud. The great ape watched as Godzilla held the severed head by the upper jaw, stared at it curiously, then roared triumphantly to the sky.
Feeling satisfied, Kong placed one foot on the decapitated body of the pathetic purple dinosaur, pounded his chest and roared his own triumph. Kong and Godzilla had defeated a common foe and they announced their victory to the world.
The End.