A/N: I recently got into watching The West Wing and am fascinated by the relationship between Josh and Donna. What started as a one-shot story has grown into a larger multi-section story. This is slightly AU and set in Season 3.

Happy Thoughts

Part 1

Donna looked at her watch, the same silver watch that Josh had given her for Christmas last month and thought back to when he gave it to her.

"Donna!" Josh yelled.

She got up from her desk and sauntered into his office. "Yes Josh?"

"Before I forget, here."

Before she knew what was happening, he was throwing a box at her. She hurried to catch it before inspecting it. The wrapping was a simple shiny red, with a small green bow on top. "What is this?"

"Your Christmas gift." He said, going back to reading the papers in front of him.

She was surprised. Most of the time she either got a bonus check so she could buy her own gift or he would take her out to a really nice dinner for Christmas. But this…this was unexpected. She didn't care if he had wrapped it himself or what the actual gift was at this point. Just the fact that he put thought and effort into it was enough for her.

"Are you going to stand there all day looking at it or are you actually going to open it?" He laughed.

She ignored his comment and slowly started to unwrap it. Cracking open the box she saw a beautiful silver watch. It had a slim band and it looked like diamond accents around the face. It was the most beautiful watch she had ever seen.

"You're staring again." He sighed and got up from his chair, walking over to her. "Is it the wrong kind of watch? I overheard you talking to Margaret last week about how your watch died and then I saw that and I thought it was your style. But if not I can take it back…"

"Joshua Lyman, don't you dare." She shook her head, holding the watch close to her heart. "This is perfect."

He chuckled. "Perfect, huh? Well then maybe I'm not so bad at giving gifts as you thought."

"No you have been pretty terrible." She laughed. "But this definitely makes up for it."

"Good." He grinned. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then she put on the watch. "I guess now would be a good time to give you your Christmas present."

"I don't need anything." He shook his head.

"Oh, you say that every year." She laughed.

"I mean it every year. And every year you ignore me and end up getting me something I didn't know I wanted." He sighed with the grin still on his face. "Alright. What is it going to be this year?"

She went out to her desk and opened the bottom drawer, pulling out a small box. Then she went back into his office and placed it in his waiting hands. Unlike her, he didn't waste any time opening his present. Although he said he hated getting presents, he certainly didn't act like it when he was given one. He acted like a little kid, way too eager to open presents on Christmas morning.

"You got me monogrammed cuff links?" He chuckled.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Why?"

"It was at the correspondent's dinner in April, remember? You were talking about how you had seen the president's cuff links and you said someday you'd want to such a big deal that you warranted having your initials on your cuff links like he does."

"And you finally think I'm a big deal?" He chuckled.

"Don't get a bigger ego than before." She grinned.

"Too late. I'm not sure my ego can fit through the door anymore." He joked. "You really remembered some off-handed comment I made from April?"

"Of course." She nodded.

"Well thank you. Once again, you've gotten me something I didn't realize I wanted."

"You're welcome. Merry Christmas Josh."

"Merry Christmas Donna."

It was getting late and he should be getting home since he had early meetings tomorrow. She walked the short distance from her desk to his office and knocked on the door frame.

"What?" Came Josh's reply without looking up from the stack of papers he was reading.

"It's getting late." She told him, still standing in the door way.

"When did you become the time monitor?"

"One could argue that I've always been the time monitor. But you should go home now." She gently prodded. For some reason he wasn't in a good mood, which wasn't uncommon lately. Ever since he came back from the Christmas break he had been having more and more days where he was grumpy, short-tempered and just overall in a terrible mood. But today his foul temper was surprising. He should be happy today.

"I have work to do. I'm reading more about H.R. 2592."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Josh. That can wait. The meeting for that bill isn't until next week."

"Yes, but it's never too early to start prepping."

"What's this really about?" She questioned. "You should be over the moon with excitement. The education bill passed Congress today. It's over and you won."

"The country won. I just ensured the victory when it seemed like all hope was lost." He corrected, finally looking up at her and grinning.

There was that grin again. One of these days that grin was going to be the death of her. She put those types of thoughts away and came into the room, going over to the side of his desk. "So why aren't you happy? You have been slaving away over this bill for a month and it passed in time to announce it as a victory in the State of the Union. Why didn't you go out with Sam and Toby to celebrate? I thought they asked you."

"They did but I told them no." He answered. "And who says I'm not happy?"

"Everyone who comes into contact with you." She said in a soft voice.

"So what? Just because I am not jumping through the hallways with a huge smile on my face you think I'm not happy?" He scoffed, shaking his head. "Donna…"

"No Josh." She interrupted, starting to yell. "The fact that you bite people's heads off at random moments makes you seem unhappy. The fact that late at night before you go home I see you looking sad makes you seem unhappy. And the fact that you haven't been giving me as much of a hard time about everything under the sun lately makes you seem unhappy."

The room was tense after her statements and for a moment she wondered if she was wrong to say that. After all, she didn't come in here to berate him. She only wanted him to get some rest. But there was something about this man that sometimes made her lose her temper. She wasn't proud of it but it happens.

She wasn't lying about anything she said either. Most nights she would sneak a glance of him near the end of the day and he looked miserable. Maybe it wasn't any of her business. Maybe it was trouble in his personal life. But after working so closely with him for so long, she couldn't help caring.

After gaining some courage, she finally looked at him. He was looking at her strangely. Although she thought she was completely fluent in what his looks meant, this one was new to her. She adjusted her tone, softening it. "You have early meetings tomorrow. You should go home and get some sleep."

"I can't, Donna." He sighed. "Not right now."

"Ok." She nodded, grabbing his hand and practically pulling him up.

"What are you doing?" He scoffed as he stood up.

"Come here and sit on the couch for a moment." She demanded.

"Why?"

He may have been confused and wanting to protest her command, but he still did it anyway and sat on the couch. She went over and sat next to him. "If you won't go out to celebrate with the guys and you won't go home to sleep, we are going to sit here and we are going to clear our minds for a moment."

"Donna, what kind of insanity has come over you?" He joked.

"It's not insanity." She asserted. "I recently read a book about how to become happier with your life."

"I don't want any part of a self-help book technique." He told her, trying to get up.

She grabbed his arm. "Josh, please? Just try it for a moment?"

He seemed to be thinking it over but finally sighed and sat back against the couch. "Fine. But only for a moment."

"Perfect." She smiled.

"What do I have to do for this exercise?"

"I'm glad you asked. The book says that when you experience victories or good things in your life you need to celebrate somehow so that your brain can recognize that something good happened. That recognition can help shield your mind from negativity when something bad happens by drawing on the feeling you focused on when the good things happened."

"This sounds like a bunch of nonsense." He complained

"Alright, maybe I'm not explaining it well enough but the book had a lot of science and data in there to back it up." She conceded.

"So I'll repeat my question. What do I have to do for this exercise?"

"We have to sit on this couch and clear our minds." She explained. "And you can't cross your arms. You have to put them at your sides."

"Why is that?" He laughed.

"Because you want to put your body in a position where it feels open and free. Crossing your arms makes your body feel closed off and angry." She explained.

"This sounds like a whole lot of rubbish to me."

"It will never work with that attitude."

"It will never work with any attitude." He pointed out.

"Josh…" She trailed off. "I'm trying to help you. Can you just please try this one thing?"

"I'm sorry." He apologized, uncrossing his arms. "Better?"

"Much." She rolled her eyes.

"Now what?"

She sat back against the couch and put her arms to her sides as well. "Now that your body feels open and free, we close our eyes and think about the good things that happened today." She waited until he closed his eyes before closing her own.

"So we think about the education reform bill and what it will do to help all of the children in America. We think about what it will mean to the campaign and the boost it will give the numbers for New Hampshire and the primaries after that. We think about anything else that is bringing us happiness today."

"Anything?" He questioned.

"Yes, anything as long as it brings us happiness." She answered. "And while we think of those things, we take some deep breaths. The point of this is to take a moment out of your busy life to appreciate what good you have in your life and what good things have happened."

"So all we do is essentially meditate?" He chuckled.

"I guess it is a form of meditation."

"Do I have to start saying 'ummm' a lot and lighting weird smelling candles with Gregorian chant music playing in the background?" He joked.

She kept her eyes closed but was starting to get really angry. All she was trying to do was help him take a moment and relax. She thought that maybe focusing his mind on the good parts of his life would help boost him from his bad mood. But apparently all he wanted to do was make jokes. "Josh if you aren't going to take this seriously then never mind…"

"I'm sorry. I'll stop."

She felt his hand lightly grip her arm opened her eyes, turning her head to see him staring at her. "If you don't want to do this then just say so. But don't make jokes and hurt my feelings."

"I won't do it again." He assured her. "Let's try this. It can't hurt anything to try."

"Ok." She watched him put his arms at his sides again and he closed his eyes. This time she kept her eyes open and watched him. He may not want to admit it, but he wasn't happy and was looking stressed. If nothing else, maybe this exercise would destress him for a moment. She traced the shape of his face with her eyes, letting her gaze fall upon every curve, every muscle that contorted his face while being tense. It wasn't often that she could stare at him this closely without him knowing and she was going to take advantage of it.

"So happy thoughts?" He asked.

"Happy thoughts." She echoed. After a moment, his face began to soften. It seemed like he was relaxing. Maybe he was actually giving this exercise a try. Maybe, just maybe the exercise was working and he was becoming more relaxed.

That thought made her happy and she decided to lean back, close her eyes and think happy thoughts too.

After what seemed like a few minutes, she felt him grab a hold of her hand and give it a squeeze. She turned and looked at him, only to find that his eyes were still closed. It wasn't the first time they had held hands like this, but it was rare. She could only remember a handful of times. In the past it had only been during times of great stress or sadness.

"I'm not sleeping well lately." His statement was so soft that she had to strain in order to hear it.

"Is it insomnia or dreams?" She asked.

"A little bit of both." He replied, opening his eyes and looking at her for a moment before staring at their joined hands.

"So that's why you don't want to go home at night." It was starting to make sense to her now. Josh never was very happy when he wasn't getting enough sleep. It wasn't like he needed 7 hours a night. Usually only 3 or 4 was enough for him. But if he wasn't even getting that, it explained his bad attitude.

"And that's why I have been in such a bad mood." He admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She was more than willing to listen or give advice if he wanted to talk.

"No." He chuckled. "I don't really want to get into it."

"It might help." She pointed out. "I know when I talk to someone about a problem it…"

Suddenly she saw him leaning over and before she knew what was going on, his lips were on hers. He was tentative at first, as if he was unsure. Maybe he thought she would pull away or slap him and run out of the room for kissing her. That kind of reaction never even crossed her mind. Maybe she should have pulled away though. But all she could think about was how good it felt to be kissing him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, which seemed to make him more comfortable. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her up against him, deepening the kiss as their tongues battled each other for dominance in a delicate dance.

Before they could go any further, his phone went off.

"Dammit." Josh whispered after pulling away. He didn't even look at her before getting up and answering the phone. "Yeah?...Ok…Yeah, I'll be right there."

She watched as he put the phone down and then looked at her. She could tell in that moment whatever spell they had been under was broken now. He was back to being all about business.

"Leo wants to see me now." He explained. "I have to go."

"No of course." She nodded.

"Donna, I…"

"Don't worry about it. It's fine." She shrugged him off. "Duty calls. Go see Leo."

He hesitated for a moment, looking at her and then the door before leaving the room.

She watched him leave, waiting until he was definitely gone before letting out a deep breath. This was certainly unexpected and she didn't know what to think or what to do. Kissing Josh like that was not something she envisioned happening tonight.

If he hadn't gotten the call from Leo, how far would they have let it go? How far did she want it to go? How far did Josh want it to go?

This had the potential to change everything between them. Sure they had kissed each other on the cheek before, but never like this and never with tongue. That kiss was far too intimate for them to easily remain boss/assistant. But did Josh mean anything by it?

That was the million dollar question.

She knew her feelings well, having spent so much time burying them so deep inside. Josh on the other hand, well she didn't know what was going through his head.

She resolved to go home since she didn't know how long his meeting with Leo would take. Besides, a little distance would be good for them right now, even if it was only a few hours.

She wouldn't bring it up tomorrow. She would let him be the one to bring it up if he wanted to talk about it since he was the one who started the kiss. And if he didn't bring it up, then that was her answer.