Happy Thoughts
Part 4
Josh woke up and worried for a moment about why there was an arm slung over his chest until he realized it was Donna's. A smile formed on his face as he thought back to last night. It had been incredible and he took the opportunity to look over at her. Even asleep with messy hair she was beautiful.
He still couldn't believe that she had feelings for him too. It felt like it was too good to be true, like the other shoe was going to drop at any minute. He tried to push that thought out of his mind though, especially since Donna was starting to wake up.
She stretched and opened her eyes, smiling when she saw him. "Good morning."
He reached over and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "Now it's a great morning."
"What time is it?"
He looked over at the clock. "6:34."
"You have a meeting with the Minority Leader at 8:30." She rattled off the top of her head. "You should probably get up since you have to go back to your place first."
"Yeah, I should." He agreed, pulling her closer to him. "But I don't want to."
"Josh…" She chuckled. "You can't be late for the meeting. You don't want to give him any more reasons to be angry."
"I know. I won't be late." He promised, turning the conversation to something more serious. "So does this…does last night mean that we are…you know, together now?"
"Like dating?" She asked.
"Yeah, like dating." He nodded. "Or was this a one-time thing for you?"
He saw the look on her face change. She seemed to be trying to read him so he kept his face as stoic as possible. He wanted to know where they stood and he didn't want to pressure her or lead her in any way.
"I don't want this to be a one-time thing." She said quietly after a moment's pause. "Is that what you want?"
"No." He shook his head. "That's the last thing I want."
"Ok. Good." She smiled. "Then that means we are kind of dating."
"Good. Are you still planning on announcing your resignation today?" He hated bringing it up but it was a conversation they needed to have.
The smile on her face fell. "That's a conversation we don't have time for right now."
"So you are planning on still leaving." He stated, letting out a deep sigh. He was hoping that after last night she would stay. Apparently he was wrong.
"Like I said, we don't have time for this conversation right now. You have to get going. So why don't we talk about everything tonight?"
"You mean you won't sneak your resignation in without me knowing today?" He asked, just making sure.
"No. I promise." She smiled. "I won't make any more moves on this until after we talk tonight."
"Alright." He realized that was the best answer he was going to get right now and decided to let it go. But he was going to hold her to it that they would discuss it tonight.
"Now will you please go so you aren't late for Tripplehorn?" She laughed, kissing him on the cheek.
"Fine." He agreed reluctantly. "But I want it noted that I would much rather stay in bed with you."
"It is noted." She smiled.
"I'll see you at the office." He gave her one last kiss before getting out of the bed to find his clothes.
"You seem like you're in a good mood, considering that you had that meeting with Tripplehorn today." Sam chuckled as they passed in the hallway.
"What can I say?" Josh laughed. "It's just been a good day."
"Did things go well with the meeting?"
"No." Josh shook his head and scoffed. "Tripplehorn won't budge."
"So then what makes it a good day?"
He could see that Sam was lost and hadn't put all of the pieces together. He motioned for Sam to go into Sam's office and followed the man, closing the door behind him. "Donna and I..."
"You had the talk?"
"Sort of." He answered. "There was some talking last night and then a lot of not talking."
"Ah." Sam smiled. "Well I'm happy for you both. No wonder you are in a good mood."
"Thanks." He knew his friend meant it. "There's just one problem. She wants to quit. She has another job all lined up and everything."
"Where would she go?"
"Program Director of the Children's Literacy Group." He replied, releasing a deep sigh. "I don't want her to take it obviously but I don't know how to convince her to…" He trailed off when he noticed Sam seemed deep in thought about something. "What's going on?"
"The Children's Literacy Group?" Sam repeated.
"Yeah." He nodded. "Why?"
"Rumor has it they are getting ready to launch an attack against the President, claiming the Education bill doesn't do enough to promote basic literacy goals and they want to attach an amendment to any one of the bills in play right now to correct it." Sam explained.
"Dammit." He was so mad right now he could punch the wall. "They really think the education bill doesn't do enough? What more do they want?"
"I don't know that." Sam admitted. "You have to admit though, there were some things that had to be cut."
"Yeah but it was cut for the greater good to make sure that they bill would get passed. The things that got cut are things that are impossible to move through Congress right now."
"Apparently they didn't like that." Sam pointed out.
"You know as well as I do that if those provisions stayed in there was no way the bill would pass."
"I know."
He stared off to the side for a moment and thought about this. "Do you think that they offered Donna a job because…"
"She works for you and it was your bill?" Sam finished the question for him. "I wouldn't be surprised if that factored into their decision. But I can't say for certain."
"I have to go make some calls." He stormed out of the office, intent on finding out the truth once and for all.
Josh knocked on Donna's door, nervous about the conversation they needed to have. But he needed to tell her the truth. It wouldn't be fair to her if he kept things from her, especially things that concerned her.
"Hey." She greeted with a smile when she opened the door. "Good timing. The food just got here. I hope Chinese is alright. I forgot to ask you before I left the office."
"That's fine." He smiled.
"What's with the bag?"
"It's just some clothes for tomorrow on the off chance you let me stay the night again." He replied sheepishly. "I know we didn't talk about that but that way I could save some time in the morning and not have to rush off." He felt like an awkward teenager, explaining that to her and expected her to tease him about it.
"That's a great idea." She leaned in and kissed him, grabbing the bag and tossing it on the floor before dragging him into her apartment. "I didn't like you rushing off this morning."
"Well good." He smiled, surprised but grateful she didn't tease him. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "You know, it was difficult not to keep staring at you today."
"I know." She nodded. "It's the new shampoo I'm using. It really makes my hair so shiny. I can understand your fascination with it."
"Nope, that's not it." He chuckled. "But your hair is lovely."
"I know what you mean though." She admitted. "I felt the same way."
"I think it might be my new shampoo." He teased.
She planted a kiss on his lips and then broke out of his grasp. "I have everything set up on the coffee table."
He followed her over, sitting next to her on the couch and grabbing some noodles. "So I have a small confession."
"What is it?" She asked, grabbing a container.
"I told Sam about us." He looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. They hadn't talked about letting other people know about what was going on between them. They didn't even have a label for what this was yet. So he could understand if she got mad about him sharing the news without talking to her first. But tonight was about honesty.
"Was it just Sam?" She asked after a moment.
"Yes."
"Ok." She nodded.
"You aren't mad?" That was surprising.
"No." She shook her head. "Sam is trustworthy and I don't think he will go spreading it around. It's fine."
"Oh. Ok." He took her acceptance as a gift because he knew she wasn't going to be happy with what he was about to say. "He did say something that made me a little nervous though."
"Really?" She asked. "What?"
"He said that the Children's Literacy Group is prepping an attack against the White House to get the provisions that were cut from the education bill passed as an amendment in a different bill."
After saying that, he looked over at her. On the outside she looked calm but she soon put her container back down on the coffee table. "Donna? Did you hear what I just said?"
"Yes." She nodded. "I heard you."
"I made some calls today and I found out that Sam is right. They are quietly shopping an amendment around to Senators in hopes that one of them will take up their mantle. It also means…"
"I know what you think it means." She interrupted. "You think it means that they just hired me as a tool, an instrument to embarrass you, the President and the administration. You think they want to use me since you spearheaded the education bill."
"I do think that." He conceded. "I think the only reason they went after hiring you was so they could gain more political traction with Senators by showing them they had the Deputy Chief of Staff's former assistant on their side for this fight."
She stood up and walked over to the window, crossing her arms over her chest and staring outside.
"Donna, I don't think you should take the job."
"You have never thought I should take the job." She pointed out softly.
"True, but now I have another, better reason." He admitted.
"Let's take this job off the table for a moment." She sighed. "The real issue here is I can't stay as your assistant." She told him, turning to face him. "If I stay, then we can't be together."
"Says who?" He laughed.
"Says politics!" She answered. "There is no scenario where a story about the President's Deputy Chief of Staff dating his assistant goes over well. It will always go badly."
"So what?" He shrugged. "It would just be a story that lasts a couple of news cycles and then goes away."
"No it wouldn't go away Josh and you know it." She paused for a moment, looking at the ground. "The President has a tough campaign ahead of him. You and I both know that. He hasn't fully won back the American people after admitting that he had MS but kept it a secret and he certainly hasn't fully won them over after the censure. He's doing better but it's not good enough. Everyone is still in damage control mode. The campaign is going to be close. And this thing between us…it has the potential to be a dirty bomb for the campaign, you, and our relationship. It could blow everything up and I won't let that happen."
"I don't agree with you."
"You don't agree because you don't want to admit that I'm right."
"You aren't right." He told her, starting to get frustrated. He stood up and walked over to her.
"Should I call up Joey and have her run up some numbers to prove to you I'm right?" She offered. "Or should I just call up Leo and explain it to him? Because you know that a poll and Leo would both tell you the same thing I'm saying. It is bad optics and an unnecessary risk. You just don't want to hear it."
"You're damn right I don't want to hear it!" He yelled. "I don't want you to leave the White House!"
"I can only stay if we aren't together." She told him. "So maybe you need to think about that. Do you want me as an assistant or as a girlfriend?"
"Why does it have to be one or the other?" He sighed.
"Because this is Washington and no one gets everything they want here. Everyone has to compromise." She chuckled. "You were the one who taught me that."
"I need you as both." He admitted.
"I don't want to be the reason that the President has a harder time winning a second term." She stated calmly.
"To hell with that!" He exclaimed.
"Look, I have been thinking about this all day and I know in my heart that I am right. A story about the President's Deputy Chief of Staff dating his assistant is going to blow up in his face. It's not a fair world we live in but it is the truth. It will end badly for the President and it will cause problems for us."
"Taking the job with the Children's Literacy Group will also cause problems with us." He pointed out. "They are serious about these provisions and if you take a job with them we are going to be on opposite sides."
"I know." She nodded.
"I'll have to fight against you and your job."
"I know."
He studied her face carefully. "You still plan on taking the job, don't you?"
"Yes." She nodded again. "I do."
"How can you when you know that their motives in offering you the job aren't pure?" It made no sense to him why she would still want the job when she knew the real reason she got it.
"In politics, no one's motives are pure." She answered. "It's another thing you taught me."
"But you are only getting the job because of your connection to me." He explained. "I mean, think about it. You are going from an assistant to a program director overnight. That doesn't just happen."
"Of course." She scoffed. "I couldn't also be getting the job because of talent."
"I didn't mean it like that…"
"I think you did." She interrupted. "You keep telling me that the only reason I got the job is because of you. You say you need me as your assistant because apparently I'm invaluable but you refuse to believe that someone else might think I am bound for something more than just being an assistant. So which one is it? "
"Donna, you know that's not what I meant." He sighed. "Of course I think you are bound to be something more than an assistant. I just don't want to lose you."
She closed the gap between them and gave him a hug. "If we are going to do this and have a relationship, then you need to trust me."
"Donna, I trust you with my life."
She pulled out of the hug just enough for him to see her face. "Then trust me when I tell you that this is the way it has to be. I have to quit the White House and I'm taking this job. Everything is going to be fine."
"I don't share your optimism." He warned. "They are going to use you. They will pit you against me and the White House. If this thing gets ugly, you'll be the enemy and you know what that means."
"I know." She nodded. "But it's going to be fine. You'll see."
"I don't like this."
"I know." She kissed him. "But this is what needs to happen. And I believe we can handle whatever the world throws at us because we are Josh and Donna."
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, burying his face in her hair. He didn't believe that everything would be fine. He wanted to argue more, try to convince her that she needed to stay or at least find a different job. But she had her determined look on her face and he knew from experience that when she got that look there was no changing her mind.
He just had to hope for the best.