Chapter 19 Wands, Staffs and Staffing.

Harry and I were talking in the ministry canteen, one afternoon when an owl came through the window and landed in front of him. He looked carefully at the owl, as it was one unfamiliar to him and drew his wand, with a quick wave, he seemed satisfied of something and took the letter from the owl, which took immediate flight back out of the ministry.

He opened the letter and read for a few seconds, before handing it to me to have a look at;

Dear Mr Potter,

I have been informed by the examining board that the majority of our students this year are failing or very near failing the O.W.L. in History of Magic. You may ask how this affects you, it concerns something the portrait of Dumbledore mentioned to me, and I hope you can be of assistance in sorting this problem out, one I inherited at the start of my period as Headmistress.

Dumbledore assures me you should be of assistance, as you are the 'Master of Death' whatever this means, but that means you should have some influence with Binns, who has been Professor at this school since before his death and I really have no idea in how to replace him, how do you sack a ghost?

I know for many years, including my own time as a student that Cuthbert Binns has been boring students in his classes and that many of them regard as a time to catch up on their sleep, a situation that is clearly wrong in an institute of learning. I am hoping you can be of assistance in this matter, which I would like to see sorted before the new school year begins and so have the opportunity to hire a new professor.

Yours in Thanks

Minerva McGonagall,

Headmistress, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"I really don't know about this master of death thing, partly from what I can tell, it's a bit from an old wizarding fairy tale and something like the legend of Atlantis, and I don't actually have everything in my possession to be the master of death anyway. The goblins seemed to know something about it though!"

"What does the legend say?"

"It tells the story of three brothers who best death, and he bestows some gifts on them in acknowledgement, the first brother gets an unbeatable wand. The second gets a stone which enables him to summon the dead and the third gets an invisibility cloak that will hide him even from death. The wand, I became the owner of when I defeated Voldemort, the stone is somewhere in the forbidden forest, and the cloak is hanging up at home, having been passed down in my family for generations. It's certainly a special cloak, most invisibility cloaks lose their charms after a few years, this is at least a thousand years old and still in perfect working order; the wand is currently in my vault at Gringotts, I told the headmistress that I had put it back in Dumbledore's crypt, but I was unwilling to do so in case somebody else robbed the tomb to get hold of it, there's just a stick in there."

"Ok! So you have access to two of these items and possibly the third, you just need to summon it from the forest…" half in jest I got out my wand and gave it a wave. "Accio Death Stone!" Suddenly my wand grew in my hand until it was six feet in length and about two inches in diameter, there was a yellow gem at one end of it, which gave off a flash as I said the spell.

"Bloody hell, Dudley! How did you get a staff? The last wizard to use a staff was about three hundred years ago, the last registered Mage in the wizarding world. I don't think your summoning spell will work though, the stone is in Hogwarts grounds and that's about six hundred miles from here. Most wizards can something from a few feet away, I'm pretty powerful and managed to summon my broom from about quarter of a mile away in school, nearly knackered myself in the process."

There was the sound of breaking glass and something small and black flew through the broken glass in the doorway to the canteen and came to a stop on the table in front of me. It looked like a piece of stone from a signet ring, with some bad scratches on it. The doors to the canteen opened and three aurors rushed in, wands drawn. "What happened, something smashed through the visitor entrance to the ministry and down several corridors and into here? And how come you have a staff Mr Dursley, our records show you had an olive wood and phoenix feather wand? It's actually illegal to use an unregistered wand, but I don't think anybody ever made a law concerning an unregistered staff!"

"This is the first time, my wand has ever done this, the circumstances around the new wand are a little odd and I'll speak with the minister later to resolve the legality, the thing that came rushing through the ministry was something I summoned, I never expected it to actually arrive, the distance involved was a bit prohibitive, but as to what I summoned that is a private family matter and not for public record, again I'll speak to the minister about it later."

"Very well, Mr Dursley, try not to damage any more of the ministry building today please!" they all put their wands away, and left the canteen, leaving myself and Harry sat at our table. I handed the stone I had summoned to him.

He carefully picked the stone up and examined it closely, "well, no doubt about it, this is the Death Stone all right, I can see the markings on it and it has the same feel as last time. How the hell did you do that Dudley; that was some seriously heavy level magic?"

"No idea! Just did it! Didn't really think it would work on something that far away. I was expecting that you would have to go to Hogwarts and the edge of the forest to summon it." I looked at the staff and wondered how I was going to store this now, I usually kept it in a holster strapped to my wrist, so it was readily available, there was no way this bloody great thing was going to fit on my wrist. It was as tall as I was. The next thing I knew, I was holding a normal length wand in my hand, just as I had pulled out a few minutes ago. I shook my head and took a calming breath and put it back in my holster.

"Well, I have to admit, it was impressive, now I think I need to go to Gringotts after work and get the Elder Wand and you need to speak to Kingsley, about your wand or staff whatever it is. I think you should come with me to Hogwarts as well, that book you got on American Wizarding History certainly showed there was a lot left out of the work we were doing when I was at school."

I nervously knocked on the door to the office of the Minister of Magic, I didn't think I was in trouble, but I certainly had caused a bit of a stir this morning. Kingsley was always threatening to obliviate me, for all the trouble I'd caused him, I was fairly certain this was now said in jest, but I wouldn't put it past him to do it for real. Kingsley called for me to enter and I quickly made my way in.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite troublemaker, seriously Dudley, I should have obliviated you years ago, I've never had so much damn obscure paperwork from any other wizard. I've been informed you have a staff to perform magic now. Where is it? What have you done with it?"

I gave my wrist a flick and my wand appeared in my hand. I wondered about how it had shrunk earlier and how to get it to become a staff again, when I was holding the staff in my hand, it seemed to do whatever I wanted. I handed it over the table to Kingsley, who looked at it for a few minutes and then nodded to himself. "Very impressive Dudley, you will have to go to Ollivander's to get the wand or staff, whatever, assessed for materials and then I'll need to register it to you, but just for my curiosity firstly, how did you get a new wand or staff?"

"On the instructions of the goblins, I put my wand in the fireplace with the phoenix egg, I was told I would get it back after. The wand was consumed in the ashes, but my phoenix did something at the fireplace, and this wand appeared. It looked a bit different, but I really didn't give it that much thought."

Fascinating, very well, I think you better go to Ollivander's immediately and get this sorted, on you return you will need to report to the Wand Registration Office, they'll sort out the paperwork for you, please try not to cause anymore disturbances today, won't you!" He dismissed me with a grin on his face.

Half an hour later, I walked into Ollivander's shop and was greeted by an unfamiliar man, "can I help you sir? I don't believe we've met before, I'm James Ollivander."

"My name is Dudley Dursley, the last time I was here, I met Xander, and who I suppose was your grandfather, and got a new wand, olive wood and phoenix feather. Due to some rather strange circumstances, I acquired a new wand, which I'm told I need to have assessed for materials with you and need to register."

"May I see this new wand?" I gave my wrist a flick and my wand appeared in my hand, I handed it across, strangely it stayed a wand and didn't change to a staff. He gave the wand a rub with his hands and looked hard at the wood, raised it to his eye and looked down the length of it, as if it were a telescope. "There's more to this than meets the eye. I can feel olive wood, oak and willow, a rather odd phoenix feather and there is something else as well. What else can you tell me about it?" I reached for it, to make it change into a staff, but before I placed my hand on it, it had changed in front of my eyes. "Fascinating, there hasn't been wizard who carried a staff in three hundred and twelve years in British history, I think Japan has one registered mage and there's another in Russia." He gave the staff a twirl, a bit like I'd seen people handle quarterstaffs in movies I'd seen on TV, mostly about Robin Hood, he examined the gemstone at the top of the wand. I don't recognise the gemstone, but then again, we don't deal in gems much in wandmaking, do you mind if I call in someone else to identify it?" I shook my head, and he pulled a mobile phone from his pocket, "I'm really glad someone somehow managed to convince the magical world to use mobile phones, I'm allergic to owls, and no messy droppings either."

A few minutes later, the door of the shop opened and a gentleman a few years older than myself came in, "diversifying a bit, aren't you James, I've never heard of anyone having gemstones in a wand before?"

James handed my staff over, "it's not one of ours; I need you to identify this gem."

The gentleman placed a jewellers loup in his eye and examined the stone, carefully, then tapped it with his wand, the image of a phoenix, yellow with dark blue or black feathers appeared above it. "I'm fairly certain of what the gem is, but slightly confused as well, the image of the phoenix is wrong, it should be red/orange, not yellow/blue. I've never heard of a phoenix that colour. If my analysis is right this is a type of gem rarely seen and exclusive to the wizarding world, we call it phoenixite, it's made from phoenix egg shell, in much the same way diamond is made from carbon. Wherever did you find such a stone? He glanced at me.

I shrugged my shoulders and sent out a mental thought for St. John, my phoenix. With a flash of fire, he appeared in the shop and made his way to my shoulder, both wizards looked in awe at the phoenix on my shoulder. The door opened again and I turned to see who had come in and recognised Xander, who I had met last time.

"I recognise you, its err… don't tell me… Dudley Dursley, you bought that first computer in for Grandad to see and then needed a new wand, what's happened now, burnt another wand in an accident?"

"No! On purpose this time," I turned round to greet him properly and he saw St. John on my shoulder, my head obscuring his view as he'd entered the shop.

"Is that what I think it is? A Yellow phoenix, I thought they were extinct, the last recorded sighting was in Alexandria about 300 BC."

"How do you know that, Xander?"

"Honestly, James, you call yourself a wandmaker, I took Care of Magical Creatures, during our lectures on phoenixes, we were told about the different types of phoenix. If I remember there are three or four individual species of phoenix. There's the more common red/orange one, a blue/black, and the yellow/blue, there's also legends of white phoenixes, but there is no accurate historical records of those. The last recorded sighting of a yellow/blue phoenix was when Alexander the Great conquered Egypt, I don't remember the exact date offhand, but the phoenix was the familiar of his court wizard, Hephaestion. The phoenix was last seen then, Hephaestion died a few years later and Alexander not long after. That's all I remember from memory, I could look it up, but it's not exactly the most important thing, right now. That would be this beautiful example of a creature long thought extinct. Tell me, Dudley, how did you acquire a phoenix and such a rare specimen?"

I told of my encounter with the goblins and their subsequent gift somehow related to an old prophecy, not giving all the details, but just a brief outline.

"Fascinating! And may I inquire as to the name of your phoenix?"

"This is St. John, named after a character in muggle literature!"

The jeweller gave a laugh, "Oh, brilliant, a phoenix named after a character called St. John Allerdyce, also known as Pyro, but how did a wizard know of that?"

"I could ask the same question of yourself sir, but you have made the connection. I was born a muggle and had no magic until I was about eleven, when a spell caused me to grow a pig's tail. This was removed later by muggle surgery, but the consequences are that I was somehow infected with magic so to speak. It didn't manifest enough for me to attend Hogwarts, but it was there. Another event only a few years ago, where I was blood-adopted by my cousin, in order to allow me to be god-father to his son, kicked the magic into a state where I could actually use it."

"I see, spontaneous example of the Flamel Effect, not heard of that in a long time. As to the question of how I know about the X-Men, I am a muggleborn, my father was a jeweller, and so after graduation from Hogwarts, I went into the family business as it were and opened a branch here in Diagon Alley. There was at that time no way a muggleborn could get any type of job in the Ministry, unless it was a caretaker or lower level secretary. One thing I can definitely say about Kingsley Shacklebolt as minster is that he has certainly shaken up the way the ministry hires its staff, if I remember something I heard, you were the first muggle hired at the ministry, even had your own department created for you."

"I did, I was the first Social Worker at the Ministry of Magic, and the first Social Services Minister, my duties will be changing soon though I'll be the Minister for Social Services and Racial Equality, just basically extending my duties to cover all sentient races, not just humans."

"Blimey! What happened to Granger, that was her remit, not been sacked has she, for all her good ideas, I don't think she achieved anything?"

"She's leaving to start a family."

"Another generation of Weasley's, Merlin help us, I was a Gryffindor seventh year when the Weasley twins started, a pranking menace they were. Still got to admire them, they started that joke shop of theirs and are probably the owners of one of the most profitable businesses in the alley now, I was sad to hear that the one brother had died. I've even spoken to the surviving brother, he seems to have a fascinating mind for creating these pranks, natural almost you might say."

"Hmm! Fascinating how this conversation has gotten off track, but I believe you needed your, err staff assessing for materials, let me check it out properly." James waved his hands over the wand/staff again. "Hmm, phoenix feather, though not a tail feather like I'm used to using, Ash wood, oak, olive, and my goodness phoenix tears and human blood. Yours I assume Mr. Dursley?" I nodded in answer to this question. "Well, as a general rule, we don't use blood binding in our wand crafting as most of our wands are pretty standard, yours was custom made so to speak under unique circumstances. What type of feather was it, if I may ask? As I've said it's not a tail feather?"

"It's a wing feather!"

"Interesting, well I believe I can provide you with a certificate of materials for this! I'll neglect to mention the blood in it, technically the British Ministry frowns on using blood in magic; seem to thinks it smacks of Dark Magic, but as you supplied your own blood, I can't see the harm. The advantages of having your own blood in your staff/wand means that it is bound to you, you will find that it can't be summoned or expelled from your person with a spell. I have also read that most mages don't need to use spells as such, so no need to say the spell or perform the wand movements. A distinct advantage, but also a bit of an inconvenience!"

"Inconvenience, how?"

Xander snickered, "slightly different reasons, but remember the first time we met, and Grandad talked of the Great Fire of London, caused by a thestral tail feather wand, slightly similar here, you need to keep a tight leash on your intent. Imagine trying to light a pipe and setting fire to London again."

"I don't smoke, haven't since I was a teenager, but I think I understand what you mean, the first spell I did with the new wand was Accio, I never suspected it to work, the item I was trying to summon was near Hogwarts in the forbidden forest, I thought nothing would happen. I managed to summon it anyway."

"Merlin's Balls, that's 5-600 miles, where you tired after you'd done it, needed to lie down or anything?"

"No, it happened about an hour ago, in the ministry canteen, I feel just the same now as I did then."

"Hmm! I definitely agree, with the assessment of you, I made earlier, a mage, most normal wizards would pass out with the effort of trying to do that or kill themselves, trying to draw on too much energy and burning out their magical core." He handed me a printed piece of paper with the details of my wands construction materials in it. "You need to present this to the wand registration office on the fourth floor of the ministry. That'll make it all legal, although I technically say it's not needed as there is no law for staff registration, no doubt there will be by quitting time tonight, bunch of ruddy paper happy morons, most of them." I thanked them and made my way to the door to leave.

"Pardon me for asking, Mr Dursley, but I would like to ask if it would be possible to purchase any feathers from you, that your phoenix sheds, they could be used in fashioning wand cores. There is no danger to yourself or the phoenix in doing this, only the last phoenix we had access to for feathers, passed when Professor Dumbledore died," asked Xander. The wands we craft with them will be standard, just one wood and the core, the woods in your staff, are bound in such a way that is beyond us, three separate woods fused together to make a new wood. If only that was a seed bearing tree, a complete new species, it would make for some extra special wands."

I looked to St. John who was perched on my shoulder still, he gave a chirrup and reached forward to his wing and plucked a feather from it and dropped it into Xander's hand and flew back to my shoulder. "I think you got your answer, straight from the phoenix's beak or wing, whatever. Thank you for your assistance today." I left to go back to the ministry and get my wand properly registered.

The wizard in the wand registration office looked at me as if he couldn't understand why someone had dared to disturb his sleep. He looked old enough to be Merlin's father, let alone Dumbledore's. "What are you doing here, you should already have a registered wand, and wizards aren't allowed a second wand by law."

I handed him the piece of paper, I got from Ollivanders, "it's not a second wand, and it's a replacement."

He glanced at the paper in his hand, "more of this new-fangled paper stuff, what's wrong with traditional parchment, I say?" he blinked as he read the page, Primary wing feather of a phoenix, Phoenix tears; Ash, Oak, and Olive wood composite, ten inches. Hmm, branching out bit aren't they. But what's this, Primary wing feather of a phoenix, Phoenix tears; Ash, Oak, and Olive wood composite, six foot, topped with a phoenixite gem, that's not a wand it's a staff, don't register staffs here. You need the staff registration office, there isn't one, good luck with that." He handed me the piece of paper back and proceeded to fall asleep again. Gathering that I'd been dismissed I let myself out of the office headed back down to the floor below mine and knocked on Kingsley's door.

"Come in! Oh hello, Dudley, did you get the registration documentation, hand it over then?"

I handed the piece of paper over, "I didn't get it registered, the old fellow in the office said it was a staff, and to go to the staff registration office, and there wasn't one!"

"Good Heaven's, don't tell me you actually went to the wand registration office and spoke to Morganson, he should have been retired when Professor Dippet was headmaster of Hogwarts, just another task you seem to have placed in my lap." He touched the tip of his wand to the paper and it gave off a green glow, then flashed blue and vanished. There all registered and filed, never need to see the light of day again unless your wand turns up as evidence at a crime scene. Not going to is it? Not moonlighting as a dangerous felon ehh?" There was knock at the door. "It never stops! Come in." the door was pushed open and Harry entered. "Oh good, Harry, take Dudley here and pop off to Hogwarts with him, before I'm tempted again to obliviate him and dump him in a ditch somewhere. He's just given me another problem to solve. I've got to find a replacement for old Morganson in wand registration, a thankless and mostly pointless position."

Harry sniggered, "I think I know just the person, Kingsley, someone you've complained to me about on numerous occasions as an officious little bureaucrat. Percy Weasley."

"Brilliant. Promote him to assistant head of the department, let him 'learn' the job for six months or so and then retire old Morganson, Percy will be delighted Department head of his own. Of course, I'll have to pay him slightly more than he's being paid now, but when Morganson retires, I'll put him on a grade 3 administrator's salary, Morganson is being paid as grade 1, so I'll recoup the difference in about a year. Might even consider giving Weasley a pay rise to grade 2 in about a decade. Ha-ha!"

Harry and I walked out of the office, leaving Kingsley chuckling away merrily to himself. Harry produced a small paperweight from his pocket that I'd seen on his desk, "made this into a portkey to take us to Hogwarts, we'll need to walk from the front gates though. At this time of year, the castle will be in almost lockdown state, only the headmistress is there, she said she'd be waiting for us to arrive at the gates and she'd come to meet us.

St. John gave a huffy type of chirp and jumped off my shoulder and hovered in front of us, his tail feather's waggling. "It seems we have other travel arrangements! Shall we?" I grabbed hold of one of the tail feathers and Harry did the same, with a warm flush passing over us, we were standing inside the main doors of Hogwarts which were locked shut behind us.

A bell tolled, a large hollow sounding bell, I looked at Harry, "I think we should wait here for the headmistress, I don't think she'll be long, that was to tell her that someone had arrived inside the wards." Harry snickered at me and nodded in approval of this.

A couple of minutes later, professor McGonagall came running down the stairs wand in hand. She stopped as she got to middle of the staircase, and looked disapprovingly at us, "Potter, and Dursley! One of you was a troublemaker whilst he was at school and the other nearly caused the castle to be evacuated, I might have known you'd do the impossible and get inside the wards. How did you do it?"

St. John gave a chirp from where he had settled back on my shoulder. Professor McGonagall looked hard at me? Goodness gracious, is that a phoenix, I haven't seen one, since Albus died, only you Mr. Dursley could manage to get yourself a phoenix, you've been unique ever since I first saw you. I assume you've come to sort out our little history of magic problem?" we both nodded, "good, Binns is in his classroom right now, follow me, whilst we're going there you can tell me how you conspired to get a phoenix."

After I had finished the tale of my phoenix, and professor McGonagall had expressed her astonishment, we arrived at the door to the History of Magic classroom, the headmistress knocked and after receiving an answer from inside, we entered.

"Ah! Hello, headmistress, and guests. I see one of you is the Master of Death and the other is a mage, please tell me headmistress, that one of these young men is my replacement, I distinctly remember asking the headmaster to arrange a replacement, so I could enjoy my retirement, a little bit late for that now, but I must admit it will be a relief to pass to the next great adventure."

"Excuse me Cuthbert, did you say you asked the Headmaster to arrange a replacement for you? Who exactly was the Headmaster you asked?"

"It was Phineas Nigellus Black, funny though that was the last time I ever saw him!"

"Phineas Nigellus Black died in 1925, went to bed one night and never woke up, I suppose it is possible that you asked him the night before he died!"

"Possibly, headmistress, I find myself losing track of time these days, I don't even remember what year it is."

Professor McGonagall gave a sigh, "I apologise, for this error, Cuthbert, please continue into the next great adventure, with the thanks of the staff, myself and Hogwarts for your many years of service. I will have a new teacher before the start of the year."

"Thank you headmistress," with that he gave a sigh and slowly faded from view.

"Thank you both for your help, I apologise that you both had a wasted journey, but at least this particular problem has been solved. Just another one off an ever increasing number of things to do before term starts. I have no idea where I'm going to get a new professor from though, for nearly the last century, students here have been bored to tears by Cuthbert ruddy Binns, if Phineas Nigellus Black was still alive, and I'd kill him."

"Could you ask his portrait about it?"

"No, he last updated his portrait about a week before his death, if I understand it a bit like one of these downloads, the student's talk of these days. He has no memory of events after that, until his portrait 'awoke' in the headmaster's office."

"If I might make a suggestion, professor, send word to Beauxbatons or Salem, if they have any suggestions about recommendations for a replacement, Gabrielle graduated from Beauxbatons and her understanding of wizarding and muggle history is far more relevant than Binns was, the Americans more so."

"Thank you, Dudley, I'll send an email tomorrow, I must admit I'm really getting the hang of this electronic mail wots it, so much faster and hygienic than owls, and so much easier on the knees than a floo call."

"Who would have thought it, Minerva McGonagall, a silver surfer?"

"Mr. Potter! What do you mean by that comment, I've never been near one of those surf-board things, part cat you know, I hate getting wet and from what I've seen of it, it involves riding the water on a board and then falling in and getting soaked; and what's with the silver bit."

Both Harry and I held in a laugh, "forgive our humour headmistress, silver surfer is a muggle term for someone of your generation, who uses a computer, and surfs the internet, as it's called. The idea of the surfing is to stay on the board, and not falling in, until you get to shore."

At this point, Harry burst into laughter again and fell to the floor holding his sides in laughter.

"Mr. Potter! What is so funny now?"

"Part cat! I just remembered something Dobby said to me whilst I was in school, and I'm sorry, your comment just brought it back!"

"And…!"

Harry brought his laughter under control, "yes, Professor Kitty-Cat." He then fell to the floor again, in fits of laughter."

Professor McGonagall, gave him a stern look and shuddered slightly, and then began giggling herself, "I'm just glad you never called me that in school, I'd have given you detention until you were fifty."

We all laughed at this idea, as we made our way down to the entrance hall, where we would take our leave of the school after this unexpectedly unusual and amusing episode."

A/N 1) Alexander the Great and Hephaestion are real historical characters, I just used a little artistic license in this chapter.

2) For reference, this 'Great Fire of London' Incident is mentioned in The Start of Something New, the story preceding this one, chapters 23 & 33.

3) According to a document I looked at online, 'the Black Family Tree', Phineas Nigellus Black died in 1925, that's where I based this factoid of the story on. If you go by what JK Rowling said in an interview, Dumbledore was 150, meaning he would have been born about 1847, attending Hogwarts approximately 1858 to 1866. In The start of something New, chapter 30, professor McGonagall says 'Well I never knew Binns when he was alive, but Dumbledore assured me he was just as boring when he was alive…' If you watch 'Philosophers (Sorcerers) Stone on DVD, when Harry, Ron and Hermione are looking at a shield in a cabinet, just after Harry has been given his place on the Quidditch team, there is a name, 'M. McGonagall, 1951.' At least from memory I think that's the year. Let me know if I'm wrong in a review.