~~Flashback~~
"Alright, men," Naruto began as he stood in front of a small group of potential Interrogators, amongst them was a tall man wearing the standard jonin uniform only, along with his headband being black, the rest of the clothing was black as well. The man had intrusive eyes, something that piqued Naruto's interest before he returned to his intro to the art of interrogation, "The Forth handpicked you men for a reason. That reason is one I do not know!"
The group collectively sweated in concern. Their proctor was uninformed?
As if reading their minds, Naruto continued with a sadistic smirk, "But I do know that you're all to be tested to see who will head the T&I section of our ANBU. Meaning, one of you will be right up there with the Yamanaka in the art of Interrogation. I personally prefer all-out open combat, but most of you probably already knew that. You managed to pass the jonin exams, after all. Not an easy feat."
The group of seven men nodded, save for the one that had originally caught Naruto's eye. He remained stoic and silent. Naruto's grin grew slightly and a twinkle appeared in his eyes. One that sent shivers down all the men's spines; even the stoic man's body gave an involuntary shiver.
"You have one objective, to successfully get the information concerning the Konoha Spy Network," Naruto said with a raised hand before an evil smirk crossed his face, "...Who wants to go first?"
The men furrowed their brows as they thought over their objective. Getting information concerning the infamous spy network that greatly assured victory in the Third War was notoriously difficult. Kumo, Iwa, Kiri, all three had tried to slip spies into the network, and all three failed horribly. Why? no one knew, but it was believed that the network was a ruse for the cover of one super-spy.
Only four men knew otherwise.
"Well fine, then," Naruto pouted after a few minutes had passed and no one had volunteered, "I'll pick. Hm...You! Third to the left with the menacing stature. Follow me."
When it came time for the last one to be chosen, the stoic man nodded curtly before following the blonde. Naruto smirked as they entered the small room, shutting the door behind the one being challenged first. He waited patiently for the outburst, timing the jonin with calculating eyes. The first three burst in confusion, the next two assumed it was a spar and tried to attack him, and the last one simply walked back out, claiming it was a waste of time and troublesome.
Shame, he really wanted a Nara in the T&I department.
"...This is all a ruse," the man spoke with a deep voice, but realization in his eyes as he looked at the blonde super-shinobi. Naruto smirked and clapped his hands slowly.
"You know the answer," Naruto started, "But what is the question?"
"The question is obviously 'what is the purpose of the Network'," the man replied with a grunt, making Naruto's smile widen, "The network is notorious for being a ruse, but it's also openly known that the only four to know the truth about the network: The Third, Jiraiya-sama, The Forth, and you. You're our tester and your 'objective' gave the true purpose away."
"Exactly," Naruto explained with a nod, "You managed to see beyond the beyond, or as my brother puts it, 'Underneath the Underneath'. In hindsight, I should have used clones to lead you each into a room at once, fairly timing each of you before I came out."
"But your waiting game also made some sweat out and come to rash decisions," the man pointed out, "The thuds were hard to miss, and seeing that there were two of them, I can assume that the two idiots tried to interrogate you."
"Depends on what you consider the definition of the word 'interrogate' is," Naruto pointed out before stretching, "Man, Nii-sama should have done this himself. I knew I should have made the test harder...What's done is done, though I guess. State your name, T&I."
"Morino Ibiki," the now known Ibiki replied. Naruto nodded and patted the man on the shoulder.
"Alright, Ibiki, follow me. Your first mission briefing with the Forth as the Head of T&I starts in five minutes," the blonde shinobi said with authority.
~Present~
"So they decided to go through with it, eh?" Naruto asked Kakashi as the masked shinobi appeared next to him at the Konoha Park. The two were seated on a bench and watched Akane play with other Academy students, the young girl laughing as she played tag with Sarutobi Konohamaru, the grandson of the Sandaime, and his two friends Udon and Moegi.
His trademark orange book put away due to the disapproving glare from his sensei's brother, Kakashi nodded as he lounged back in the chair, "Wanna join me in the Jonin waiting-lounge? Iruka's got the kids under his watch."
"The Umino kid?" Naruto asked with an arched brow. Getting a nod from his brother's white-haired student, Naruto stood with a stretch, "Eh, I don't see why not...Better tell Akane-chan we'll be going though. She can throw quite the tantrum when I don't tell her something."
"Kushina-sensei at her best, eh?" Kakashi asked with a smile, chuckling fondly at a memory whereas the blonde shuddered at his own.
"Yeesh, I hope not..." Naruto grumbled before he approached the girl hiding behind a slide. Kakashi watched as the blonde uncle surprised the girl by picking her up from behind. Akane released a little squeal of surprise before Naruto put her down and told her where he was going and that he'd send a Kage Bunshin to pick her up after school. Although sad that her uncle couldn't take her, the girl nodded and gave him one more hug before running off to play with her friends.
"Alright, its done," Naruto said as he approached his brother's student, wrapping an arm over Kakashi's shoulder, "Now...how many books did you say Ero-sennin released? I need to be sure of the amount he released so I know how many punches I owe him."
Yuuhi Kurenai was normally a patient woman. Her students were all relatively well behaved and she had a budding relationship with a fellow jonin, Sarutobi Asuma, the younger son of the Third Hokage. She accepted most other Jonin despite her quirks and was notably best friends with one Mitarashi Anko. The one Jonin she could never see eye-to-eye with was the lazy, perverted, one-eyed Hatake Kakashi.
Why the man got under her skin, she hadn't a clue, but ever since her first induction as a Jonin a few months ago, her observations of the man had yet to show her why he was respected. Sure, she had seen him in action on missions, understanding why he was seen as a shinobi, but as a person, he seemed to lack respect for others.
"Yo, Kurenai, you ok?" Asuma asked as they sat in the jonin lounge, his feet propped up on the small table in the center of the U-shaped couch. Another few Jonin from foreign nations spill in, two notably being from Iwa and Kumo respectively. The two shinobi took note of their host village's jonin and their allies taking the couch and vacated the room.
Kurenai looked back at her somewhat-boyfriend and nodded, "Yeah, sorry. That was weird though...why would Kumo and Iwa enter the chunin exams?"
"To gather information?" Asuma suggested before shrugging, "Who cares? As long as they aren't out to get us right now, I'm fine."
Kurenai rolled her eyes, "Lazy-ass."
"I'm managing with it though," Asuma shot back as he reached for a smoke. The cigarette in his hands instantly changed into a fishing worm and out of reflex, Asuma flared his chakra, dispelling the genjutsu. He put the cigarette in his mouth and gave a wounded look to the red-eyed, raven-haired woman seated next to him, "You keep doing that and I'll start to think you don't like me..."
Kurenai scowled, "I like you just fine...when you don't smell like smoke. How you haven't been detected by enemies while on a mission, I'll never know."
"It's a trade-" "He manipulates the chakra in the air around his body to keep his scent concealed. It's a simple training technique that most wind users after they manage to cut the waterfall."
The gathered Jonin turned to see a blue armored shinobi with a shield on his arm. Many felt their jaws fall open and women in the room felt the blood rush to their faces. His face was frighteningly similar to that of their heartthrob of a Forth, a key difference being the whisker-like marks on his cheeks and the slightly more rugged look he had.
Next to him was the masked self-proclaimed master of one thousand jutsu, Kakashi himself. The masked nin gave a simple wave and his one visible eye closed as he greeted the room, "Yo!"
Naruto chuckled at his laid-back friend, "You're sure you wouldn't be late to your own funeral?"
"Meh, I doubt anyone would like to be on time, why be the first?" the response got a few chuckles from around the room, and the blonde shinobi rolled his eyes before scanning the room, "Huh, and here I thought Gai would be-"
"AH! MY ETERNAL RIVAL! YOU HAVE BEATEN ME TO THE YOUTHFUL LOUNGE!" a boisterously loud voice exclaimed behind them. Naruto nodded as Kakashi sighed sadly.
"Yup, there he is!" Naruto murmured to himself before turning to face Gai, "Hey, Gai! How's it goin' being a sensei?"
Gai's face became one of shock and he leaned back with a look of horror on his face, "EGAD! A UNYOUTHFUL SPIRIT IS HAUNTING MY ETERNAL RIVAL!"
Naruto's happy smile fell into a scowl and a tic appeared above his right eye, "Ungrateful bastard...be the only one to greet him and he calls me a ghost?"
"I MUST INFORM THE HOKAGE!" Gai exclaimed before dashing off. Naruto's shield-bearing arm pulled back and his eyes narrowed, his teeth grit, his body tensed, but before he could throw the defensive weapon, Kakashi pulled the blonde shinobi into a dual under-arm headlock.
"Just let him go, Cap-sensei!" Kakashi grunted out as Naruto's body struggled to follow through with his plan, "Let the Third talk to him! Just let it go and come on!"
"That ungrateful, why I oughta..." Naruto grumbled as Kakashi slowly began to pull him into the room. The room's occupiers were quiet as Kakashi shoved the taller and stronger blonde to the couch, before taking a seat for himself and pulling his book out. It was quickly put away before a kunai could pierce it, making Kurenai blink. Her attention went to the glowering shinobi that resembled the Forth.
"Don't read Ero-Sennin's smut in my presence," Naruto growled, putting the shield on his arm in his lap and pulling a polishing rag out from his side pocket, "Bad enough that you read that crap in public."
Kakashi's eye saddened as he looked towards his friend in a hurt fashion, "Give it a chance, Capi-sensei...you never know, you might get inspired by it!"
"And if you dropped your book once in a while, you'd get laid," Naruto pointed out with his rag-wielding hand. This sent Kakashi into a depressed state as he sunk to the floor and hugged his knees to his chest. Naruto rolled his eyes and resumed scrubbing the shield, before looking up at the two nearest sets of eyes staring at him, "What? Never seen a guy clean his favored weapon before?"
"F-F-Forth-sama?" Asuma asked, his eyes wide. Naruto arched a brow.
"You must be Asuma, Hiru-Jiji told me about you," the blonde noted, smirking, "Sorry, I'm not Nii-sama."
"'Nii-sama'?" the crowd repeated under their breath. Naruto glanced at them before looking back at Asuma, and finally glancing down to Kakashi.
"Did everyone and their grandmother forget me, or is this a secluded case?" Naruto asked with a frown. Kakashi sheepishly chuckled and stood from his state of depression.
"Well...after you vanished, and uh, the ROOT rebelled...with Minato-sensei's death and all..." his nervous explanation was understood by the remaining Namikaze.
"So basically everyone forgot about the Captain Rasengan?" Naruto grumbled as he sat back with crossed arms, "Figures. Save a village from a civil war, you're remembered for eternity, hold off the freaking enemy Jinchuriki and you're nothing. I knew I should have fought Nii-sama for the seat."
"I didn't forget you, Cap-sensei, if that helps..." Kakashi offered. Naruto smiled thankfully at the man before resuming his cleaning. Mentally, he and Kakashi were counting down: '6...5...4...3...2...And...Now.'
"NAMIKAZE NARUTO?" a good portion of the older shinobi exclaimed while others started whispering in confusion. Before he knew it, Naruto was swarmed by several jonin who were asking furiously where he had been. Not one for crowded spaces, Naruto narrowed his eyes and growled.
The crowd dispersed and dragged the still confused few out of the room with them upon realizing he was irritated at them. Naruto huffed and smirked, "Serves 'em right, trying to gang up on me. Impatient bastards..."
"I'm sorry, but you...you're claiming to be the Captain Konoha, right?" Kurenai asked curiously. He glanced at her and she fought the urge to blush when his curious blue eyes locked on her.
"Not claiming to be, I am the Captain Konoha," he replied with a small smile before looking back to his shield, "On a mission a few years back, I got knocked unconscious and frozen. Due to my...skill, I was kept alive and preserved by a layer of chakra surrounding my body. Kakashi and his team found me and a few days later, ta-dah! I'm home."
"I like my version better," Kakashi muttered, getting a smirk from the blonde.
"In your version, I'm in a blind rage and am only calmed by the beauty of Koyuki-hime. Something that is a complete farce," Naruto chuckled out, making the white-haired man frown.
"...I still like it better..."
"That answers the who and how, but care telling me why you're here?" Asuma asked once he snapped from his stupor, shakily lighting a cigarette. Naruto nodded and threw a thumb in Kakashi's way.
"He asked me to come. Simple as that," The blonde shrugged before lifting his shield up to examine it, "Hm...I should stop by the Dragon's Pit...I need a better cleaner."
"So does anyone know who the proctor is?" Kakashi asked the other two as his sensei's brother was too involved in cleaning his shield. Asuma and Kurenai looked to their fellow jonin and nodded.
"Yeah, pops told me he asked Morino Ibiki to do it," Asuma chuckled, "Man those kids are screwed."
"Yeesh, I would've just given up if I knew," Kakashi grumbled as he sat back, "No way in hell would I take a test with Ibiki as my proctor."
"I don't understand, who's Ibiki?" Kurenai asked curiously. Before Kakashi could reply, Naruto spoke up as he sealed his shield away.
"He's a psycho that's damn good at what he does," the armored nin said before sitting back with his hands locking behind his head, "I should know, I'm the one that appointed him the job of T&I."
"You did?" the three chorused in surprise. Naruto smirked and nodded.
"Yeah, but I'm positive that Kakashi's team will pass," the blonde said with a nod to the man, "That's only due to the fact that I've personally trained the kids for a week."
"I wondered why they seemed so eager to finish the D-Ranks over this past week," Kakashi mused before mock glaring at the blonde, "You can't take my job!"
"A job you're not doing?" Naruto countered before shrugging, "You like the spare reading time, don't try to deny it."
"...Touché," the masked Jonin relented as he sat back and relaxed. The two other jonin exchanged a curious look before they looked back at the shield-wielding shinobi. Naruto paused and his chakra flared once before a duplicate appeared in a plume of smoke. The double gave a two-fingered salute before he vanished in a swirl of leaves.
"Going to pick up Akane-chan?" Kakashi inquired.
"Duh," Naruto replied with a smirk, "You know, you could do the same. She loves hearing your stories, ya know."
"Meh, I'm too lazy," the masked one replied. Naruto scowled at the man before quickly smacking him with a palm.
"OW!" "Serves you right for ignoring your little sister!" Naruto scolded before going back to cleaning the shield in his lap. He paused and looked up, "Huh, wonder how the kids are doing?"
Kiba sent a sideways glance to Sasuke, who was seated a few feet ahead of him, before looking up at the canine on his head and whispering, "Is he done?"
Akamaru whined once and Kiba smirked before looking down at his paper, "Ok buddy, what'd the Teme put down for number four?"
Sakura finished answering all of her questions and smiled proudly. Written exams were her best after all. A light-headed feeling overcame her and she fell forward before sitting back up. A sly smirk crossed her face as she quietly whispered, "Thanks forehead. I knew I could count on you..."
"Hana!" Tsume called as she entered the vet's office. She had thought hard over the past week, and during that week her daughter had been avoiding her, walking out of rooms whenever she entered. Kiba had started to take notice, and if he started to ask questions either she'd be forced to lie to him or Hana would tell Kiba the truth.
Neither was something she wanted to happen. She was being childish in harboring a grudge over Naruto's disappearance. It wasn't the blonde's fault and the next time she saw him she'd do what she could to make up for trying to kill and/or neutering him. First, though, she had to admit to her daughter that she was right...
Her pride was wounded just thinking about it.
"Hana! Get out here, dammit!" Tsume called, her impatience starting to get the best of her. Before she would lose her temper, the veterinarian stepped into the room and looked up from a chart.
"Hello, Kaasan, what can I do for you?" Hana's question had a professional edge to it that Tsume normally didn't receive. Restraining herself from smacking her daughter for taking a tone like that to the Alpha, Tsume took a deep breath.
"You were right, Hana," Tsume said quietly. Hana blinked twice before putting her clipboard down and crossing her arms.
"D-Did I hear right?" Hana asked with a small smile, making Tsume's eye twitch, "I could've sworn you said I was right..."
"You're enjoying this aren't you?" Tsume asked with a growl.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Kaasan," Hana shot back with a smile.
Tsume narrowed her eyes, "...Sure you don't. Anyway, I...I need your help."
"With what?" Hana asked with a frown. The clan head growled and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Telling your brother who his father is," grumbled Tsume. Hana's confused frown twitched upwards into a pleased smile.