IV.
Rey was tired of waiting.
First, they had waited for any word of Poe—had they found him, had he survived, was he all right? It had been almost six hours until they'd found him, and then it was more waiting for word on his condition. It turned out Jess hadn't been too far off: Poe had been trapped in a pocket of rubble with plenty of air. He had several broken ribs, a shattered ankle and dislocated shoulder, and a number of deep bruises and contusions, but he would not only survive, he would recover quickly with the advanced medical facilities on Coruscant.
Which was good, because apparently he was mad.
Jessika Pava had insisted it was a trap, but the meeting had been called without guile. It had been a single double agent with ties to the First Order who had taken advantage of the opportunity to sew chaos among the Centrist sympathizers by detonating six proton bombs and trying to blame it on the Resistance. Sixteen beings had died, with dozens injured. The Resistance was quickly proved innocent;Coruscant responded swiftly, and justice was served to the satisfaction of most of the systems involved. Somehow Poe managed to cobble together promises of support from at least three of the other Centrist systems affected, all from his bed in the medical bay. After a long week of working through his recovery, he was ready to return.
It had taken all Rey's effort to keep Finn grounded and firmly on Ajan Kloss. He'd wanted more than anything to go to Coruscant, to be there for Poe, to take charge and go after anyone involved. But everyone—from Rey and Connix to Poe and Jess to their Coruscant hosts—had insisted he remain. He would be a new target walking into a hot zone, and could put them all at greater risk by creating the opportunity to take out another Resistance general.
Finn hated it, and Rey had tried hard to help him through. They'd taken more time for some training ("Teach me the rock thing," he said. "In case I ever need it.") and had thrown themselves into paperwork, repairs, anything to take both their minds off Poe, including a quick meeting with a nearby system that was spooked by the attack on Coruscant. Finn's agitation and impatience were wearing, however, and half the time Rey wanted to clock him on the head, while the rest of the time she wanted to hold his hand and keep him calm. Sometimes she did both.
And then Poe was landing, Jess and two others trailing behind as he brought his ship down for a slightly rough landing.
Finn was a mess. Rey could feel the conflict within him: the need to shout at Poe and release his fears in a barrage of criticism, warring with the desire to pull him into a crushing embrace, to know he was alive, to touch him and feel him. For her part, Rey only felt the latter, but knew she would be second in line.
Poe left his ship slowly, struggling down the ladder. Jess watched, gave Finn a look to stand down: Poe was a proud man and would do it himself. He walked slowly across the tarmac, his eyes down and following BB-8. Rey thought he looked different, somehow, a shadow of his former self. He was clearly still recovering, cuts and bruises still peppering his bearded face.
When he finally glanced up and saw them, a look of such pain and relief crossed his face that Rey was almost knocked over by the feeling. Finn, too, inhaled sharply. "Poe," he whispered, then started walking forward. Poe stood straighter, seemed to fill out, looked more himself. He began to smile, and walked faster. Finn sped up; Poe did his best.
Rey watched as they stopped right before they embraced, and her heart broke at their hesitation. But maybe it wasn't what it seemed…
"Are you all right?" Finn asked quietly. Poe nodded.
"I'm all right, pal," he replied.
Finn grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into a rough, tight embrace. Poe collapsed into his arms, crushing his face into Finn's neck, his arms wrapped tight around Finn's waist. Rey could see tears in his eyes and felt them spring into her own
They stood like that for a long time. Rey exchanged a look with Jess, who appeared exhausted. She watched for a moment, then left with a wordless nod. Rey waited some more, until Poe's right hand motioned her over and pulled her into the embrace. It reminded her of their reunion after the Battle of Exegol, when she'd thought everything would be okay, and then it wasn't. She hoped this was their second chance.
"I'm sorry," Poe was whispering into Finn's neck. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to leave without saying anything."
"It's okay, you're back, you're here," Finn replied. Poe stepped back, breaking their embrace, but Finn kept hold of his right arm. "You're where you belong, back with us."
Finn's glance flickered to Rey, including her, but she took a step back, wanting to give them privacy. "I'm glad you're all right," she said. "I should go, let you catch up with Finn." She turned to leave, but Poe grabbed her hand.
"No, I owe you an apology too," he said, sounding earnest. "I left you in charge even though you didn't want it, and I'm sorry I put that pressure on you. More importantly, I'm sorry you've had to deal with so many other things that have nothing to do with the Resistance." His tone was pointed, and Rey knew he was talking about the situation between him and Finn.
"What other things?" asked Finn, but Poe was still looking at Rey, his gaze intense.
"You're a good friend, Rey. You never gave up, and you gave me a lot of things to think about before I left. And I did, I thought about them all the time. Especially when I was trapped, waiting for someone to find me."
"I wanted to come to Coruscant, to help," said Finn, looking somewhat confused by Poe's intensity, but directed at Rey and not him. "Everyone said it wasn't safe, including you."
"It wasn't safe," said Poe, turning back to him. "You could have been killed, and I don't know what I would have done."
"I should go." Rey tried again, but she couldn't escape, because Poe was still holding her hand. Why was he still holding her hand?
"You're a good man, Finn, the best man I've ever met. We need you with us more than you know. Thank you for staying, for leading while I was gone." Finn looked confused, and Rey felt uncomfortable. She wasn't sure what was happening—she'd expected some sort of confession, but it almost sounded like Poe was going to leave—and wished she could be anywhere else but right in the middle of it. Whatever this was, it was between Finn and Poe; they didn't need her there.
"Poe, what's going on?" Finn asked, and Rey could sense his worry. Poe was so intense, it was alarming. "Why are you talking like this?"
"Why are you still holding my hand?" Rey murmured, feeling her cheeks go red. "You should talk alone."
"No," said Poe, turning back to her. He was so different than the man who had climbed slowly from his X-wing, filled now with an almost manic energy. "Everything you said, that you keep saying, is true. Everything. I don't want to be a coward anymore."
Finn was eyeing their hands strangely. "What does she keep saying to you? Because you're the bravest man I know, Poe. You could never be a coward."
"I've been a coward for the last two months," Poe said. "You're my best friend, and yet I couldn't talk to you, so I got angry and pushed you away. And I lost the one thing I wanted more than anything, which was you."
Finn still looked baffled. Rey tried to pull her hand away again, but Poe held tighter. "If this goes balls up," he murmured under his breath, "I may need you to help me out of here."
Which stunned her into yanking her hand away. "Poe Dameron, don't be ridiculous! I am not helping you out of here." She stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. "But I am staying, because I want to see you finish what you've started, whatever this is."
"Finish what?" asked Finn quietly. "Poe, what's going on? Are you leaving the Resistance?"
Now it was Poe's turn to look surprised and confused. "What? No, of course I'm not! Why would you think that?"
"Because it sounds like you're about to deliver a farewell speech," Finn said, and Rey nodded in agreement.
"I'm not leaving," Poe insisted. "I'm not going anywhere without you. Finn, I can't lose you."
"You're not going to lose me," Finn started, but he was clearly still confused. So was Rey.
"Every time you go out there I could lose you!" Poe exclaimed. "And every time you come back and see what a mess I am, what a failure, I feel like I do."
Rey gasped silently, her heart breaking at Poe's confession. Finn took Poe's hands, both of them, and gazed at him intently. "Poe, you are not a mess. You are not a failure. You are a great leader, and an even greater man. I didn't mean what I said on Kef Bir, it was wrong and I will always regret what happened out there. And I know I keep harping about your past, but it doesn't matter to me. It's a part of you."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it," Poe said. "But I will tell you everything you want to know. I don't want to keep anything from you." Rey felt like she was trapped in a scene from a holo-drama. Finn may not understand what was happening, but she was starting to figure it out.
"I don't need to know," Finn said. "I trust you, I always have, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my Force sensitivity. I was just so scared." He took a deep breath. "I'm tired of being scared."
"I'm tired of being scared, too," Poe said. "Scared that I'll never measure up to Leia, that I'll ruin whatever this is we've managed to build since Exegol, that you'll leave the moment I do. Please don't leave me." Rey couldn't bear the open look on Poe's face, it was so vulnerable; she looked at Finn instead, watched him struggle to understand.
"I'm not going anywhere," he rasped, his voice almost as raw as Poe's eyes. "Because you will always measure up in my eyes. You're the best man I've ever known, and I'm here to stay. General," he added with a brittle laugh.
Poe frowned, which in turn made Finn panic. "If you want me to stay."
"I can't do this without you." Poe shook his head, a look of determination on his face. "Only I don't think you understand what I'm saying."
"Maybe not," said Finn, glancing at Rey as if for answers. They were so close, she wasn't going to step in and ruin it for them now.
"There's only one way I can make you understand," Poe said, meeting Finn's eyes. "To show you what I'm trying to say."
"You don't have to prove anything to me," said Finn, but he still didn't seem to quite understand what Poe was saying.
Poe stomped his foot with a sound of frustration, turning in his place and catching Rey's eye. She simply smiled at him, offering silent encouragement, and he smiled back as if that was all he needed. She felt him through the Force, a sudden shining beacon of love and hope. Finn must have felt something as well, because his eyes widened slightly as Poe turned back.
"Don't hate me," Poe whispered, but before Finn could reply, Poe stepped forward, took Finn's face in his hands, and kissed him passionately. Rey felt Finn's shock, then watched as it dissipated and he closed his eyes, his arms coming up to Poe's waist and pulling him close. She literally put her hand to her mouth so they didn't hear her gasp of happiness. Finally.
Finn appeared positively dazed when they stopped and Poe took Finn's hand in his own. "Do you understand now? I can't do this—anything, all of it—without you." Finn didn't say anything and a flicker of doubt crossed Poe's face. "And I know I'm taking a huge risk here, because you might not feel the same, but I don't want things between us to be like they were. I want things to be different." Finn was still quiet. "Hopefully I didn't make it worse. Still there if I need a quick getaway, Rey?" He offered a small, vulnerable smile, which seemed to finally snap Finn out of it.
"Are you kidding…you just…did that really happen?" He kept talking before Poe could answer. "This isn't some near-death confession, is it? You almost die and come back and do…do that? Because if it is…" He trailed off helplessly, dropping Poe's hands and waving his arms around. Poe shook his head.
"Do you know how many times I've almost died?" he asked quietly. "I'd have a list of confessions a parsec long. This was different. I didn't think I was going to die. I knew I'd get out of there, because all I could think about making it back to you. How much I wanted to see you again because this is what I want, what I need. You. Maybe not the best timing, I know." He shrugged with another small smile. "I did have a concussion."
"A concussion?" Finn looked incredulous. "Poe, I thought I'd lost you out there. Hell, I thought I'd lost you weeks ago, but I thought I was really going to lose you this time. And it was awful. I don't know what I'd do without you, either." He took a deep breath, clearly out of his element. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," Poe said so softly Rey almost didn't hear him. "So maybe…"
"Maybe we try not to mess this up any more," Finn finished for him. "Because I love you, and I don't want to almost lose you again."
This time it was Poe's turn to go wide-eyed with surprise, and Rey bit her lip to stop herself exclaiming again, or laughing with sheer joy as Poe stepped back in shock. "Wait…what?" he stuttered. "No…You…are you…what?"
Finn blew out that breath he'd been holding. "Don't make me say it again."
"I didn't expect you to say it now," Poe breathed, shaking his head in astonishment. "Finn, you must know by now that I—"
"I know," said Finn. "I was too busy denying it to see it clearly until now."
Poe nodded in understanding. "Because sometimes it takes almost getting blown up to make you see what you really want."
"That is so ridiculous," Finn laughed, a sudden burst of happiness. "A bomb? What kind of life do we live that we need a bomb to clear the air?"
Poe cocked his head and looked at Rey. "Well, she did try."
"I really tried," said Rey. "Can I go now? Please?"
Finn motioned her closer, but it was Poe who reached out and pulled her into a hug. "Did we do okay?" he asked softly, and she laughed into his shoulder.
"You did great," she said. "It was dramatic and unexpected, heartfelt and –"
"I didn't ask for a critique," Poe laughed. He kissed her temple. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," she said. "But can I please go and leave you to it now?"
Poe let her go, but Finn pulled her into an even stronger embrace. She could feel his happiness vibrating from within him and knew that this was it. There would be no going back to how things were—not the fighting, and not casual friendship either. As they walked away, hand in hand, Rey felt their growing bond, could almost see it as a glow surrounding them. They would be stronger for it, and happy. It was what it was—the way it was meant to be. They were finally ready to live, together.
Author's Note:
The end! I'm rather nervous about this, as sometimes happens with my stories. But this is the way the story ends. I didn't want them to sit down and talk more, there'd been so much talking already in this fic! I wanted something bigger, and I think they needed something to really kick them in the pants, or they probably would have kept avoiding it. I also wanted it from Rey's POV, so the more active realization worked better and allowed her to watch and cheer. Plus the idea of Poe being targeted is one I hope to return to in another story someday (he wasn't personally targeted on Coruscant, but that's where the idea came from. Too much for this fic, though, and if I never get to it, at least I got to touch on it here.) Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the story!