Location: SSV Normandy SR-1
We've been called back to the Citadel in order to debrief Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina about our findings on Therum. I doubt they'll be too pleased to find out that the doctor knows nothing about the Conduit and that it was a waste of our time. Hopefully they get some new leads on Saren or the Geth.
"Hey Nate, I just wanted to let you know that Liara's perfectly healthy now. The Doc just gave her the okay for combat" Rylee informed me as she entered my quarters
"That was quick. Only 76 hours and she's fine."
"Must be some asari thing, or it's just her."
"She'd better be as good as you think she is."
"Have some faith. I mean you trusted Tali, Wrex and Garrus. Why not her?"
"Tali proved herself by taking the mercs out when we met her. Wrex and Garrus had been in combat for years. The asari is a nerd and an archaeologist who managed to fall for her own trap. That doesn't spell a great combatant to me."
"Seriously, you need to stop being such an ass towards her. She's a perfectly sweet, nice girl and she hasn't done anything to deserve how you treat her."
"It's not just her" I responded.
"What you mean it's all the aliens? I saw how you treated Garrus back at the clinic."
"Yes!" I shouted. She needs to stop pushing me or this may not end well. "I don't want aliens aboard the ship. If it wasn't for the fact that we were desperate and short on time; I would have turned them all away."
Rylee looked at me with a look of pure disgust and shame "Would you just drop this idiotic racism you have towards aliens. Now you're a SPECTRE you can't avoid them anymore. You need to learn to play nice with them. And more importantly you need to put your trust in the ones in the crew."
"Don't look at me like that Shepard."
"What, you mean with contempt. I'm sorry this is just how I look at racists Commander."
"Shut up Rylee! You don't know me."
"Yes I do Nate. But I don't understand why the hell do you hate Aliens?"
Some images of my past started flashing through my mind… no I need to fight this. When I regained my cool I ordered Rylee to do the following "Listen up Lieutenant this conversation is over. Now get out of my quarters. That's an order"
She sent a warning of her own to me before she left "We both know that threats don't work on me, Anderson so don't even bother. But fine I'll stop pushing for now-just know that this isn't over."
Shit I really need to rein this crap of mine in. It's been years since I got away from that. She doesn't know about it so I can't be too mad at her, but I've worked too hard at forgetting what happened to have that all dredged back up. I just can't go back to that place… I can't.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
I needed to work off these memories and feelings I had right now, so I went to the place where I could express my anger productively. The punching bag.
When I arrived, Alenko was already there working it over. His punches were so much different from mine. His were controlled, calm, purposeful. Whereas mine were, resentlful, random and angry. My aggression always shone through whenever I hit the bag. All I see with Alenko is someone trying to improve his body and skills.
"Hey Commander. You need the bag," he grunted through the punches
"Yeah, but I'll wait until you're done."
"No don't worry, I was gonna hit the weights," he said. He backed up and gestured me to use it.
I wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I started wailing on the thing. THUD, BANG, THUD. The tape over my knuckles was doing nothing. Within five minutes of continuous punching at full power, the tape was coming apart and my worn knuckles were becoming exposed. But despite this I kept on punching the bag. THUD, BANG, THUD. Even as the blood was starting to reach my wrists I kept on punching the thing.
The only reason I stopped was because I needed to catch my breath and that was after 25 minutes. By then I couldn't feel my hands and could barely make a fist. As I walked over to the bench to sit down, my hands lazily swayed in the air, occasionally bumping into my top and smearing a little blood onto it.
In my punching frenzy I never noticed that a small crowd of crewman had gathered around me, witnessing in awe how I worked the punching bag. This familiar feeling of being ogled at like a varren in the pits, created this anger, which began to swell until I ordered everyone back to their posts. Rather aggressively too. Only a few remained, I'm guessing they were the ones off duty. The ones who stuck out for me were Rylee and Lt. Alenko.
"So Kaidan, what's your opinion on the good Doctor joining us?" Rylee teased.
"Dr T'Soni? Seems like a sweet girl. Easy on the eyes" he assessed honestly. But when he caught on to Rylee's smirk he had to nervously add in "I mean, if you like the bookish sort."
"Any intentions there, Lt." Rylee giggled.
"No Shepard just art appreciation."
When Rylee got a look at me her smile faded and she said a rushed goodbye to Alenko.
"Impressive work there, Commander," he praised.
I didn't want to talk about what I just did because when I think about that, I think about why I was that angry and then I go back… and… fuck just change the subject "I need to get an idea of what the crew thinks about the mission. Thoughts?"
"Is this an official evaluation Commander? Or off the record."
"Like I've got time to write you up. You have something you want to say feel free."
"Fair enough, truth is, there's something wrong with this. This Saren is looking for records of some kind of galactic extinction. But we can't get back up from the Council? Sorry commander. There's writing on the wall here, but someone isn't reading it."
"They're too blind to see the damned truth. Anything the Council can't comprehend can't possibly be true," I drawled.
"I hear ya—it just seems a group that's been around as long as the Council should see this coming. Sorry if I got too informal. Protocol wasn't a big focus back in BAaT."
"BAaT? Why does that sound familiar?"
"You might have heard of it from the Alliance. Biotic Acclimation and Temperance didn't last past the airlock. To the kids they hauled in it was called Brain Camp."
"They forced kids to train their biotics," I scowled.
"Sorry, 'hauled in' was unkind. We were 'encouraged to commit to an evaluation of our abilities so an understanding of biotics could be compiled'. I shouldn't complain. There are worse results of "accidental" exposure to element zero in the womb. Beats the brain tumours some kids grew up with."
"Were you an accidental exposure?"
"My mother was downwind of a transport crash. It was before there were human biotics. A little after the discovery of the Martian ruins. It only gets iffy around '63 when Conatix was running out of first-gen subjects. Until then, they'd relied on accidentals. Bunch of guys in suits show up at your door after school. Next thing you know, you're out on Jump Zero."
"Jump Zero's a long way from home. What was it like?"
"The grand gateway to humanity looks a lot better in the vids. Anyway. This was supposed to be a casual debrief, not a bull session about stuff that happened years ago."
"Fine… that's all for now," I groaned as I got up from my seat. Shit this pain is annoying. I hopped in the elevator and hoped that no one would see me in pain like this.
"Commander, we're almost at the Citadel. ETA 14 minutes."
"Thanks, Joker."
That reminds me, I have to make sure the asari has clothes and armour to wear. If she's joining me in the field then she has to be adequately supplied and protected. I refuse to lose another member of my squad.
I walked through the med-bay into the back room where the asari was reading a datapad. I cleared my throat to inform her of my presence "Listen up. I'm wiring you 100,000 credits. That should be enough for top of the line weapons and armour, plus a little extra for clothes" I informed. She was wearing one of Dr Chakwas' medical uniforms which fitted her pretty well.
Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Normandy Docking Bay
We were going to be on the Citadel for a little bit. I have to wait on the Council to give me whatever information on Saren they can get their hands on, so that effectively means I'm free to do as I please. But it feels so wrong just doing nothing whilst I'm waiting for information. I would search for it but I wouldn't even know where to begin.
I was interrupted from my thoughts by the Asari entering the elevator. She looked in far better shape than she did before, her skin looked better and she had a little bit more meat on her. Couldn't she have picked another time to go on her shopping spree. Fuck, now she's going to try and make conversation. Curse whoever made the elevators with these long ass rides. Let's just pray that this ride is quick.
"Hello Commander," she said.
I grunted at in acknowledgement "I wanted to thank you for the credits. And I promise I will be of value to the squad" she smiled. Once again I grunted.
There was about 30 seconds of awkward silence before she opened that gob of hers "Do you have any recommendations for weapons and armour?"
This time I opted to glare at her; couldn't she understand that I wanted silence. "I-I… I think I'll figure it out myself" she muttered. Good she finally gets the message.
However, she flattered to deceive, for she began to speak again. "Commander I can tell you do not trust me and I get it. But please understand, I am not like Benezia. I will do whatever I can to help you stop Saren I promise."
"It takes more than words to sway me. You'd better live up to your promise."
"I do not begrudge you your suspicions. I just hope in time you will come to trust me."
I will never trust someone like you. "Do your fucking job properly and I won't throw you out the airlock," I spat.
I couldn't tell if she was hurt or confused by what I threatened. But if this dainty alien was going to join the squad she had better be as good as the rest. "Commander if you don't mind me asking. Why did you let me on board given you level of distrust towards me."
"Because Rylee trusts you… and that's enough for me."
Thankfully that ride was over and the elevator doors opened and I pushed past her into C-Sec Academy.
Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Wards, Lower Market
My meeting with Udina went about as well as I expected. He was pissed off that the Doctor had little of value to contribute, but he was more understanding than me about my letting her stay aboard the Normandy. He told me he had sent Anderson back to Earth for the next few weeks to speak to Alliance brass about the situation. Apparently, the people in charge didn't like the idea of aliens having free roam over the most advanced ship in the Alliance fleet. Udina was chasing his own leads over Saren's whereabouts and he said he was close to finding something, but for now I should enjoy what little time I had left on the Citadel.
I didn't really know what to do. My only friend aboard the Normandy was Rylee and she wasn't speaking to me. There was no way I was inviting Garrus, Wrex, Tali or the asari. Come to think of it, I've barely spoken a word to Tali ever since she's been aboard. She's spent most of her time in the Normandy's engine room with Adams, so she was at least being useful.
I took the access elevator from the Presidium down to the Wards because I was more comfortable in that sort of environment. On the Presidium it's too clean and fake, there were too many smiling faces and upper class people there. The Wards reminded me of my time in the streets on Earth. Places like London, California, New York, Birmingham, Hong Kong, Rome, Tokyo, and Moscow always had these grimy sections where I ran with the 10th Street REDS.
I sat on the bench outside Rylee's apartment. I'm not sure if I was secretly hoping to see her, or because this was the one place on the Citadel where none of the crew would come looking for me.
"Commander?" I heard an annoyingly familiar, feminine voice say.
"How did you find me Dr?" I groaned whilst still staring at the ceiling.
"I was not looking for you. It's just that this place is near the market" I decided to glare at the asari so she could go away. Those are a lot of bags she's carrying.
"Did you find your gear yet? According to Udina we have to be ready to move out at any minute."
"Yes, the men said that they would deliver it to the Normandy."
"Then what's with all the bags?"
"These are clothes for me to wear,"
Hm—looks like asari shop just like human women. Go figure. I really don't want her to sit with me right now.
"So when are you returning to the Normandy?" she wondered.
"In a couple of hours," I responded agitatedly.
She was now glaring at me "I'm sorry Commander is there-" she couldn't finish her sentence since she was interrupted by a human male.
"I'll be damned. If it isn't Nate fucking Anderson. First human SPECTRE and still looks like shit."
I had to smile when I saw who was coming. I got up so I could shake his hand and bring him in for a hug. I haven't seen the REDS in 3 years. "Jaden, damn it's been a while."
"That's because you're so busy playing Marine, you don't visit any of your boys."
"You know if you knew half the shit I've been doing in the last 2 weeks alone you'd understand."
"Don't worry mate, I ain't mad. But you've got to know that there are guys who think you're stuck up now. I mean three whole years without visiting the fam. They think that you think you're too good for the REDS."
"Then obviously they don't know me. I bet that it's mostly new blood saying this shit."
"Yeah you got that right. It's just not the same like when you were there, Nate. These kids are all quick to brag about the work they put in, and the Feds are just as quick to lock they're asses up."
"That's how you learn. Remember when we got locked up for red sand? Boosie, Joey and Kay had to break into our cells to get us out."
"That was because you were selling it to a cop? And that stupid 'trust me, I'm a biotic' line you used to hit the fiends with."
"Hey, I wasn't the one flaunting my cash to random girls who liked Trap-stars."
"None of that really mattered when they pulled up on us. That's when we learned that if we wanted to move up, we had to move in silence. Those were good times…" he reminisced whilst smiling. Being with the REDS was one of the most fun experiences I'd ever had and Jaden was my boy. There was no one I trusted more and there was no one I'd rather have at my side.
"OK now that we've caught up Jaden what do you want? It's been 3 whole years of no contact and now all of a sudden you want to talk to me. Give me some credit, I may have been slow but I was never stupid."
"I guess you're right. I know how you prefer it when people cut to the chase… I need you to use your SPECTRE authority to get one of the REDS released."
"Who?"
"Remember Tyrell… the kid from Milan. You know-the guy who almost got killed for selling red-sand without Vido Santiago's permission"
"Oh him. I remember we made a bet with him that he'd be dead before 30." I chuckled
"Looks like we were both wrong on that count. Anyway, do you think you could get him released?"
"You're not seriously considering this, are you Commander?" the asari chimed in. I had completely forgotten that she was still here. Normal people would walk away and not eavesdrop on other people's conversation. But maybe that's just an asari thing.
"Nate? Who the fuck is this?" Jaden asked incredulously.
"A pain in my ass," I dismissed "You know when I said I was busy the past two weeks, she's part of the reason. She's in my squad."
"Is this one of those James Bond, spook shit where if you tell me you'd have to kill me?"
"Actually yes it is."
"Excuse me Commander, but you didn't answer me. Are you seriously considering this?"
"Tell me what Tyrell did?" I asked.
He scowled slightly, he knows I'm not going to like what I hear. "He was on the Citadel on a job given to him by the Blue Suns. He robbed a couple of banks and he killed an Asari store clerk," he explained. C-Sec is going to have his ass that's for sure.
"Commander, you cannot in good conscience comply to his request," the asari begged.
"Listen bitch, why don't you fuck off and leave the decision to Nate," Jaden asserted.
C-Sec will not be happy if I do this; but since when have I ever cared about how people perceived me. And I know that the blue bitch is going to go to Rylee crying about how evil and callous I am if I do it, but I doubt Rylee could get much more pissed off at me.
"I'll do it. REDS look out for their own," I fist bumped Jaden and he guided me to C-Sec Academy where we could complete the task. Just before we left down the stairs I saw the look of hopelessness on the Dr's face. I even saw her mouth the words 'what have I gotten myself into'
Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Flux
After releasing Ty, the three of us all went to flux to celebrate his release. We all caught up on our lives. Obviously I couldn't share my most recent ventures, but I did enjoy our reminiscing our past, the fights, the jobs and the laughs. It was the first time since this whole Saren mess began that I felt happy.
They got drunk and wasted about 2 hours after we arrived and they left for their shuttle back to Earth. I didn't notice that some of the crew had walked in to enjoy themselves when we were reminiscing but the only one I could recognise was Chief Williams.
She sat by the bar drinking beer on her own, calmly deflecting any advances from the patrons. She must be feeling a lot better now. I decided that talking to her was as good an option as any.
"Williams."
"Commander, how's it going?"
"I'm good. Just caught up with a couple of my friends from my time on Earth."
"I was wondering who they were."
"What's going on Williams? You look like you're in deep thought."
"I was just thinking… the scale of what we're doing is still sinking in. There's a lot of pressure on us, just hope the whole crew is up to it."
"Is there anything in particular you want to discuss?"
"I'm not sure if I buy Liara's story. I mean how can you not talk to your mother for years."
"I'd rather have her where I can keep an eye on her."
"Commander, you said I could get things off my chest whenever right?"
"Is this duty related Chief?"
"No sir, well maybe. I know things are different aboard the Normandy… but, I'm – I'm concerned about the aliens. Vakarian and Wrex. With all due respect Commander, should they have full access to the ship?"
"Because they're aliens?"
"No—well… this is the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy. I don't think you should give them free reign to poke around the vital systems. Engines, sensors, weapons."
"I share your concerns, but I'm under orders."
"Under orders to let alien gather military intelligence? I can't believe that was the Alliance's intention. We- humanity, I mean-we have to learn to rely on ourselves."
I've had that same thought for over 14 years now. We need to learn to stand on our own. We need to break away from the galactic community and show them that humanity can prosper alone. But I know right now to do that would be foolish. "I agree… but not now. The aliens know a lot more than us about technology and they have resources we don't. If we abandon them as allies now, then we'll have squandered the opportunity to better ourselves"
"I don't think we should turn down allies. I just think we shouldn't bet everything on them staying allies. As noble as the council may seem now, if their backs are against the wall, they'll abandon us."
"The Council's had a grudge against us ever since the First Contact War."
"I don't think it's a grudge. I think it's… if you're fighting a bear and the only way to survive is to sic your dog on it and run you'll do it. As much as you love your dog, it isn't human. It's not racism. Not really. Members of their species will always be more important to them than humans are."
"You feel pretty strongly about this don't you?"
"My father, my grandfather, my great grandmother-they all picked up the rifle and swore the oath of service. I guess we just think of Earth's interests as our own."
"You've never worked with aliens before have you?"
"No sir! Mainly I've been groundside. Part of the surface Garrison. I did get a rotation on the space station for training. Every marine a rifleman, every rifleman zee-gee certified."
"That doesn't make sense. You've had no misdemeanours or blemishes on your records and your technical scores are as high as mine. How are you still an NCO after 6 years of service?"
"Anyway, that's why I haven't served with many aliens before."
"Or your habit of second guessing your superiors," I joked
"No sir I-"
"I'm kidding Williams lighten up," I chuckled
"Really, coming from Mister serious all the time."
"I've got news for ya princess. I'm kicking your ass at Shattered Eezo."
"You did not just call me that," she challenged. We spent the rest of the night playing Shattered Eezo and other games, just trying to forget for one day the massive weight of responsibility we shouldered.