Vvamus moriendum est

CHAPTER ONE: LOVE IN TIME OF WAR

Denmark, 2017

"Nat, when I'm making a promise to you, I'm dead serious." He had told her. "When all of this... madness is over; I'll be there for you, I'll keep you safe and sound. Because I care about you."

She looked up at him and grabbed his neck as she crashed her lips on his.

"Nat-" He said after returning her kiss, but she interrupted him.

"Shh, don't say anything." She whispered him against his lips. Let us be for one night."

Wakanda, 2018

Steve and Natasha looked at each other with despair and hope; Despair for their lives, having to fight a new unknown threat coming from outer space. Hope, oh, how much they hoped to win this one more battle. They were tired of fighting and running. They wished they could settle down and live their lives the way they desperately wanted to.

They were both standing in the room T'challa had provided for them. Having changed their clothes for the upcoming battle against this alien Bruce had warned them about.

"Natasha," Steve spoke up, his eyes locked on her face. "If anything was to happen today... I want you to keep going. Promise me you will."

Natasha looked at him as if he had said something dumb, which he actually had. He always was the positive guy who cheered up everybody, he never was talking about the worst thing that could happen."Don't- Don't say that." She shook her head in disagreement. "We are going to be okay, you hear me?"

"I know, I know." He assured her calmly and stroked her cheek lovingly. "It's just that.. Our lives are pretty crazy and I don't know how to stop this madness or- or even how to slow it down. I never knew I was signing up for this."

"You tired of running, too, huh?" She asked him while looking straight into his eyes.

"Of course." He nodded. "It feels like it's all for nothing. I never got into this life expecting to receive something in return... Sometimes I wish I never did. I don't know if I can do this any more."

"Do what?"

"Everything."

"Everything?" Her eyes softened into a vulnerability he had never seen in her eyes. She looked so hurt. "What about us?"

"There's no-" He stopped mid-sentence, refusing to say something he wasn't sure about. "Look, I know there are some things we need to talk about and I can't stay a-and neither can you." He lifted his head to watch her. "Just please, let me hold you for a little longer now, before we go and risk our lives again."

Natasha nodded and wrapped both of her arms around Steve who returned the embrace before burying his head in her hair. They stopped talking and held each other for what felt like the last time. For all they knew they could be dead in an hour.

"No matter what happens, you'll never be alone, Natasha." Steve whispered in her ear after a few minutes of silence. He knew she hated loneliness. "My heart is with yours, so even if we're apart, you'll never be alone."

Denmark, 2017

Steve played with Natasha's freshly bleached hair as he passed his hand through them. She looked at him with such fondness and such emotions. Natasha was pretty sure she never looked at anyone else the way she looked at Steve. At least, never this genuinely.

"I have to go." She spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence that had set between the couple. "I wish I didn't have to." She admitted, wrapping her arms tighter around Steve, refusing to let him go just yet.

"Stay with me, then." He pleaded her grabbing her hand gently. "Don't leave."

Natasha pulled away from him with a sigh. "You know I can't." She sat up on the bed, pulling the covers over her upper body. "It's too dangerous. If we get caught we're both screwed."

Steve sighed. He knew she was right. Ever since they were on the run, their relationship had grown from friendship to lovers which had made the whole situation ever more complicated. "Where will you be staying this time?"

"Russia, probably."

"Russia?!" He exclaimed, turning around to look at her. Her nonchalantness bothered him. "You going there is as dangerous as you staying here." He argued, standing up.

She shrugged and she started gathering her clothes from the floor and putting them on. "It's the last place they would be expecting me to be. Besides, I have some things to resolve."

"You can't be serious." He shook his head in disagreement. "You can't go there, you'll get killed. It's too much risks."

"Everywhere I go is a dangerous place for me!" She argued as she turned around to look at him directly into his eyes. "I can't believe you're doing this again, Steve. Every time I join you and every time it's time for me to leave, you say this kind of things! Do you think that it's already hard enough for me to do? I don't like doing this. I don't like having to leave you." She shook her head as tears threatened to escape her eyes. "You think that it doesn't scares me to leave? To be on my own? You are Captain American, God's righteous man that everyone looks after. I'm just the Black Widow with more than thousands of enemies around the world. I have enemies everywhere!"

"Nat..." His eyes softened as he walked towards her. "I just care too much about you to loose you. I'm terrified at the idea of losing you, Nat.

"I know. So am I." She sat down on the bed and looked up at him. "When I say I have to go, I have to. You can't try to convince me to do otherwise, Steve. This is how our lives have become and there's nothing we can do about that."

"Fine." He reluctantly said.

Natasha stood back up and started pulling her clothes in her bag while Steve got dressed. When she finished reuniting all of her stuff she zipped closed the bag and looked at Steve, wondering if they were still arguing.

"Come here," He told her holding out his big arms for her to be enveloped by. She walked up to him and hugged him, closing her eyes. Steve buried his head in her now blonde hair and whispered in her ear sweet nothings.

They pulled away after a moment and he looked into her green eyes. "Remember, when you miss me close your eyes. I may be far from you but I'm never gone. And when you fall asleep without me next to you, just remember that we lay under the same stars."

She nodded with a smile on her lips, he always told her that before they would part. "I know you can't stay but let me hold you a little longer now." He wrapped his arms around her again and left a sweet kiss on her cheek. "No matter what happens, you'll never be alone Natasha." Steve said after a few minutes of silence. "My heart is with yours, so even if we're apart, you'll never be alone."

Wakanda, 2018

Natasha ran through the forest, seeing no one around her. Suddenly, Thanos came out of thin air and blocked her under some rocks she couldn't free herself from. She couldn't see where he went or who he went to. She struggled against the rocks, trying to free herself until she heard someone scream in pain a few feet away from her. Then, Thor yelled out 'NO!' and a few seconds later she was freed from the rocks.

And she started running, again, towards where Thor's scream had come from. She heard people calling out names but she kept running to find her friends. She recognized Bruce in one of Tony's armour blended amongst the trees. Thor was there, too. Both men seemed to be looking ahead of themselves, disbelief covering their eyes. She slowed to try to find the others and noticed that Steve was crouched down before somebody's body. She hurried up to him and saw that the body belonged to Vision.

Her mouth opened as a gasp of terror left her mouth, she looked down at the body with horror and sadness. The top of his head, where the stone used to be, was cracked open and he had completely turned grey.

Seeing this horror, Natasha put a protective hand over her belly. This is it, the worst had happened. Steve's arms collapsed on the ground and he began breathing heavily.

"What is this?" Rhodes asked, taking a step forwards. Natasha just noticed that he and Rocket had survived whatever the hell happened. "What the hell is happening?" He asked again looking around.

A moment of silence fell upon them, they all tried to understand what had happened. Steve, realizing that almost everybody was gone said. "Oh, god."

New York, 2023

She was walking around the kitchen as she finished preparing lunch. Today, it was lasagna, one of James' favourite food. She pulled out two plates from the cupboard along with two glasses and sat them all down on the kitchen table. Soft music was playing in the background as she danced through the whole room. After a while, she took the lasagna out from the oven and set the dish on the centre of the table and turned off the music.

She walked to the front of the stairs and put a hand on the piece of wood. "James, come down!" She called out. "Time to eat!"

"James?" A voice she hadn't heard for years asked her from behind.

She jumped in surprise and looked behind her with a startled face. Her eyes grew at least three times their sizes and her mouth fell open in shock. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him, she couldn't move she was like frozen. She was so focused on trying to understand what had happened that she hadn't heard the soft sounds of steps climbing down the stairs.

"Mommy, what are we eating?" James asked from beside her. Her eyes never left the man standing at her door, but his eyes drifted from her to the little boy on the stairs behind her.

"Natasha?" He called out, talking once again.

"Steve..." She whispered softly.

Let us live, since we must die