Fugit inreparabile tempus

CHAPTER TWO: FIVE YEARS AND A SECRET CHILD LATER

New York, 2023

She was walking around the kitchen as she finished preparing lunch. Today, it was lasagna, one of James' favourite foods. She pulled out two plates from the cupboard along with two glasses and sat them all down on the kitchen table. Soft music was playing in the background as she danced through the whole room. After a while, she took the lasagna out from the oven and set the dish on the centre of the table and turned off the music.

She walked to the front of the stairs and put a hand on the piece of wood. "James, come down!" She called out. "Time to eat!"

"James?" A voice she hadn't heard for years asked her from behind.

She jumped in surprise and looked behind her with a startled face. Her eyes grew at least three times their sizes and her mouth fell open in shock. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him, she couldn't move she was like frozen. She was so focused on trying to understand what had happened that she hadn't heard the soft sounds of steps climbing down the stairs.

"Mommy, what are we eating?" James asked from beside her. Her eyes never left the man standing at her door, but his eyes drifted from her to the little boy on the stairs behind her.

"Natasha?" He called out, talking once again.

"Steve..." She whispered softly.

"Mommy! Mommy!" The voice of her son called out for her. "Mommy, wake up!"

She turned around towards the staircase only to see her child standing her with his big blue innocent eyes. She glanced back to her doorway expecting to see Steve but he had disappeared. "Mommy!" James said, his voice fading slowly.

Natasha gasped slightly as she woke up. She felt a weight on her stomach and opened her eyes to see her child sitting on her with an angelic smile. "Hi, mommy." He told her as laid down his head on her chest. She smiled and kissed his head in a loving way.

"You're heavy." She complained slightly with a groan.

He chuckled amusingly. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are." She smiled and stood up wrapping her arms around his small body so he wouldn't fall. She looked at the red haired boy who had the same boyish smile and eyes as his father.

His father.

When was the last time she had seen him? She couldn't remember, especially with everything that has happened in the last couple of years. Sure, they have kept contact through phone or holographic calls but they hadn't physically seen each other in so long. She was pretty sure he didn't know where she was staying, which had been her choice, and it's not like he had asked about her whereabouts.

Natasha felt a pang in her heart every time they would chat about anything while James was in the next room. She had taught her boy to not bother her when she was on the phone and by far he had never barged in the room while she was working. At least not when she was on the phone with Steve. The boy had never met his father, he had actually never been in contact with other children so he wasn't accustomed to a two parents family. Plus, with hers and Steve's metabolism she didn't have to worry about James not having a strong enough metabolism.

The only persons he had been in contact besides his mother was his aunt Carol and his uncle Rhodey. They were the only who knew Natasha had a child. She hadn't meant for them to know, if it had been up to her she would've told no one. Carol and Rhodey showed up to Natasha's cabin in the middle of her pregnancy.

Natasha had named her son James Samuel Rogers. James for Rhodey who helped her give birth in her lonely cabin in the middle of the woods. But his full name was mostly to honour those that they lost five years ago.

A few months after the Snap, the remaining Avengers had drifted apart. Tony and Pepper retired and moved to a cabin in the woods after they discovered about the CEO's pregnancy. Thor left for Norway where he had decided to build a new Asgard and he had welcomed the surviving Asgardians before falling into depression. Bruce and Steve left to get their own places away from the compound.

Rhodey was working with Okoye and Carol to help out everyone around the globe.

Despite living in a cabin in the woods, away from everybody, Natasha had managed to work along Rhodey, Okoye and Carol from there while talking care of her child.

Her child.

Steve's child.

They had been in so much pain after the Snap that she had never dared to tell Steve about James. She thought it would have caused him so much pain and burden. Then, she had James and a part of her was better for it but too much time had gone by to tell him. The more the months went by, the more too late it was.

She owed it to him but she never brought herself to do so.

They never got to talk about what they were, even though they knew that something strong formed between them while they were on the run.

After the battle of Wakanda, after losing against Thanos, after everything that had happened, she had discovered she was pregnant and had decided to keep it a secret.

The fact alone that she had gotten pregnant when she was not supposed to be able to procreate had scared her to death. Carol and Rhodes had been very understanding with her and they never pushed her to tell Steve about their child.

"Mommy," James called out his mother, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Who is the man in our kitchen?"

Natasha deeply frowned. "What? James, is there a man in our kitchen? Do you know him?"

The little boy shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know."

"Did he see you? Did you speak with him?" She urged on, thinking it was an intruder.

"Yes!"James informed his mother. "He told me to wake you up."

Natasha tried her best not to freak out. She laid James on her bed and levelled her eyes with his. "Okay, darling. You stay here, okay? Mommy is going to talk with the man. I'll tell you when you can come out."

James nodded and Natasha gave him her phone. "Here, you can play for a little while."

"Okay, mommy!" He took the phone and began watching some videos Natasha had taken of him and her.

Natasha ruffled his head and made sure he was distracted while grabbing her gun from under her bed. She walked out of her bedroom, leaving James behind and closed the door as quietly as possible. She climbed down the stairs on her toes, making little to no noise. She held down the gun, gripping it with both of her hands. She brushed herself against the wall as she walked through the corridor that let to the kitchen. Some noises came from the kitchen, someone definitely was there. She silently let out a sigh and entered the kitchen holding up her gun.

"Whoa!" The man said with his hands up. "Is that how you greet a friend?"

Natasha let out an exasperated sigh as she saw who there. Just what she needed. She pulled down her gun and looked at him as she grumpily asked. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Not even a hello or how have you been?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "That's not nice, Red."

"What the hell do you want, Stark?" She asked and put the gun down on the table.

Tony looked at her action with a raising eyebrow. "So, that is how you greet an old friend.." He slightly said with a smile and sat down on a chair. "We found a way."

"To what?"

"Save everybody." He said, his tone getting serious and his smile departing from his face. "We found a way to bring everybody back."

She looked at him, feeling unsure for a second. Then, shock came across her face. She was not expecting to ever hear those words. "How?" She asked softly as she sat down with her face still full of confusion.

"Time travel." He blurted out and held out his hand, waiting to explain furthermore.

She nodded slightly and shrugged. "Okay."

"Okay? It doesn't shock you or anything?"

"Tony, I've been receiving emails from a raccoon, so nothing sounds so crazy any more." She told him. "Are we going to go through time to where everything started? To Wakanda, right before Thanos came?"

Tony looked at her and he held out his finger as his mouth fell aback. "No." He said after a mild pause. "What we're gonna do is form teams. Each team will be going to a specific time in the past to retrieve the stones.

"But why not to the battle in Wakanda?"

"Well, Thanos is dead and we could put ourselves in more danger if we try to get the stones directly from him." He informed her. "Plus it wouldn't change anything, whatever you do in the past will just create an alternative timeline."

Natasha nodded slowly, trying to understand, and looked at him. "Alright. When will you guys go... in the past?"

"As soon as possible." Tony told her. "Mostly when everybody is reunited."

She stood up and went to the cupboard to take out the plates for breakfast. She turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. "You can't possibly be implying that I go, too. Everything went great these last five years even though we weren't all together."

"We need you, Natasha." Tony pleaded as he approached her. "This is not some kind of work from home situation. We've got to back. The world needs you. One more time, we could bring everybody back... Bucky, Sam, T'Challa, Wanda... Peter..." He said his voice cracking a bit. "Even Barton's family..."

Natasha sighed, closing her eyes. She shook her head lightly, feeling a pang in her heart as she thought about everyone they lost. "Tony, don't."

"Don't be stubborn, Nat." He said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "If there's a chance, as small as it is, we have to take it."

"I can't…" She opened her eyes, swelling with tears, and looked at him.

"Why? Because of Steve?" He pressed his lips together. "Because of your son? Because you never told anyone about him?"

She narrowed her eyes, removing his hands from her shoulders and stepping away. "How do you know?" She asked, not caring about confirming it, there was no point in lying. She just needed to know that nobody else knew.

"It's pretty obvious. That child really is a combination of the two of you. I'm a bit hurt I was not told about the two of you. I've always thought you guys would look good together, you know? Although you're not together, obviously. But, uh, I'm happy for you."

Her shoulders slumped, her hands fidgeted with the hem of her sleeves. "I don't think Steve would be happy if he knew." She confessed. "How can I face him? I had so many opportunities to tell him and I never said anything."

"Natasha," He approached her again. "He's Steve, he'll forgive you. He might be mad at you for some time but he wouldn't stay this way forever." He assured her as he put a hand over her shoulder again. "Besides, this is not about you. This is about bringing everybody back."

She nodded and exhaled. "You're right." She heard noise upstairs, reminding her of James' presence. "What about James? I can't leave him."

"The boy can stay with Pep' and Happy, he'd get to know his cousin." He reassured her. "We don't live far away from your place, anyway."

Natasha thought about it. Tony was right, it wasn't about her or Steve or James. It was about the one thing they had wanted for the past five years: bring back everyone. "Okay, let's do this."

She made up her mind, promising herself to have a talk with Steve once they succeeded.

Time flies without return