I must give Ariake Technologies credit, they make some damn good armour. My SPECTRE gear isn't as effective as it normally is. Their kinetic barriers, shields and armour have led to me having to wait for my weapons to cool down more often than usual.

I took Rylee, Ashley, Kaidan, Garrus and Liara with me on this one, and at this point our teamwork is amazing. No matter what combination I choose, we can all gel and work together seamlessly. Everyone knows their role and they can adjust at a moment's notice if conditions change.

Rylee sits back and picks off the heavies with her sniper, Ashley and I are the battering rams, using our shotguns to pummel our opponents into the ground. Whereas, Liara and Kaidan are the support, they overload shields, keep people off Rylee, lay down singularities to trap enemies or anything that assists us. The best thing is that I don't have to shout our strategy anymore, we just know what we're doing.

"Ha! That's 10 for me 4 for you!" Ashley exclaimed.

"I'm having an off day."

"Sure Commander, I'd be embarrassed and make excuses too if my subordinate was kicking my ass."

"Laugh it up Williams, you'll end up on cleaning duty."

"Being a sore loser isn't an attractive trait, Commander," she said in a singsong voice.

"Arrogance isn't an attractive trait Ash," I chuckled.

"It's not arrogant if it's the truth. Don't worry Commander, just because I'm beating you doesn't mean I like you any less," she winked.

Before I could even respond, Liara barged into me as she walked by. "I believe there's a time and place for chatter. In the middle of a battlefield isn't one of them," she asserted.

Ashley began snickering at Liara's obvious jealousy. Ashley has no interest in me, mainly because of Alliance regulations and more importantly, she sees me more as an older brother than anything.

As for Liara… damn this is fucked up. There aren't any regulations that prevent me from dating her nor, and there's definite interest on both sides. It's just I'm so damn fucked up that I don't think I can be the man she deserves…. Shut it Nate, you've got bigger worries right now.

"Seems our asari's turning green," Rylee teased.

"What do you mean? My skin pigmentation hasn't changed," Liara replied.

"It's a human expression, I'll explain back on the Normandy"

"If you two are quite finished, I'd like us to focus on the matter at hand," I interjected.

We still hadn't found the kid and we searched every nook and cranny of the floors preceding this one and we hadn't found a thing. Not a single trace of the kid, or any non-hostile workers. For some reason this building was chocked full with security and drones.

"The next floor is the top floor. If the kid's even here then he's got to be up there," I said whilst stepping over a security guard's corpse.

We headed up the steps anticipating a difficult battle, considering the number of drones and robots this firm has at their disposal. I had Tali scan their weapons, armour and drones for the RED Security's R&D department, whatever technology they're using, I want my men to have the same.

Upon reaching the main corridor of the floor I was horrified. This was an absolute bloodbath. The walls were covered in burn marks and the blood of those dead on the floor.

No one was mutilated or anything of the sort, but they were certainly brutalised. From the looks of things, a series of grenades were set off here and the bodies were sent flying, which would explain why everything is so out of order. But the grenades aren't the only thing that killed these people, because some have had their necks snapped and…

"Nate, I want whatever sniper rifle did this" Garrus said. "Two rows of 4 guards, all with the bullet holes in the same location. Any gun that can do that would do major damage against the geth."

With the armour and shields these guys are wearing, there's no way any regular gun could have done this. My SPECTRE gear is hardly putting a dent in them and it's top of the line.

"On your guard! Whatever did this could still be here. Let's find the kid and move out," I ordered.

"Whoever you are, get the hell out of my building!" a voice demanded, booming out of the PA. "You won't get away with killing me."

"I don't give a shit about you. I'm here for the kid."

"Just what do you want with the boy. He is nothing."

"That's none of your concern. Hand him over and we walk away right now,"

"He knows something…. I know he knows something, but he acts like he doesn't know but he does know, I just know it. You know that feeling in your gut when you know something is wrong, you know."

"You're crazy," Rylee interjected.

"I'm not crazy, I'm doing the smart thing. The child must die, and now so must-"

He was interrupted by what appeared to be someone striking him with something hard. What we next heard was the sounds of struggle and a child calling for help. No one needed to hear anymore before we all dashed towards the CEO's office, desperately hoping that the kid was still alive, especially after we heard a gunshot.

The CEO's door was open wide and even from outside it was clear that a fight had broken out. Data pads and table accessories were all over the floor and glass was completely shattered on the ground. We all approached the room with caution. This guy is armed and none of us are in any rush to die.

If that kid is dead, then I'm throwing this moron out of the window.

We stepped into the room fearing the worst and prepared to see a dead child. But we didn't see that. Instead we saw a child curled up in a ball, in the corner of the room. He looked horrified at the sight before him and he was shivering. All he could do was point at the massive desk. He was muttering something but it was incoherent babble.

Leaning against the side of the desk, dead with a hole in his chest was what I assume is from the gun that's on the floor.

"Crap…" was all Garrus could say.

I took my helmet off and rubbed my eyes with frustration. This kid shouldn't have been the one to pull the trigger, it should have been me. He looks like he hasn't even hit puberty yet and he's already killed a man. That marks you in a way that can't be described, it's… almost as if that person you killed took a piece of your being with them. The first kill is always hardest… however once you've reached my body count, killing means nothing.

"Rylee… Liara can you?"

The both nodded and carefully approached the kid, who was flinching at the prospect of two people coming at him. They put their weapons down and took off their helmets and tried to talk to the kid. I sent them two because I learned in my SPECTRE training that children are more comfortable around female strangers than male ones. Garrus is a Turian and human parents tend to put it in their children's minds that Turians are the enemy. I didn't choose Ashley because I'm not too sure how good she is at dealing with people like this, whereas Liara and Rylee have some experience since they've dealt with me.

"H-He was killing everyone in the building… he thought that someone was giving out company information. He was going to shoot me I had to-" the kid murmured.

"Shh it's okay, we don't blame you for what you did. You were defending yourself from him and you did what was needed to survive. No one is going to blame you for that," Rylee responded.

"But I killed a man… he's dead because of me."

"You would be dead if you didn't, so you shouldn't blame yourself," Liara added.

"What's your name sweetie?" Rylee asked.

"… Kai"

"It's not safe to stay here, Kai. Let me take you home."

"I just want to see my friends again."

Friends? Normally people want to see they're family again. Either this kid is estranged or an orphan with no family.

"Is Won your friend?" I asked. I swear for a millisecond the kid's expression dropped slightly and his eyes conveyed disgust, but that moment was so brief that even I can't be certain that I saw it.

"Won is my protector. I'm safe with him," he said but there was a slight hitch in his voice.

"You don't sound so sure."

"It's his job to make sure I stay alive… now can I please go."

"Sure thing, we'll take you to Huerta Memorial and let the doctors check up on you, then we'll hand you over to Won," I said.

"Commander, there's something we need to talk about, preferably in private," Garrus said in a quiet voice.

"What's it about?"

"Something about this whole mess just doesn't seem to add up."

"You're feeling it too. Okay, we'll talk after I meet Won."

Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Wards Access Corridor

This is the Nav point that he said he would be at but there's still no sign of him. All I see are a bunch of poor merchants and homeless people all begging the passers-by for credits, clothes and red sand. I need to do something about this, the Citadel is supposed to be the greatest place in the galaxy, there shouldn't be homelessness. I'll have Blake get us some property aboard the station so we can build a shelter.

"Excuse me there soldier, but can you spare a veteran a few credits," a decrepit old man said as he got nearer to me.

I gave the guy 100 creds, in the hope that he would walk away but instead he stayed. Besides, 100 creds are nothing to me now and he needs it more than me.

"You look very familiar, have we met before?" he asked.

"I've been with the Alliance for 10 years, we might have served together."

"No, we didn't. I left the Alliance 18 years ago, before that I served on the SSV Einstein."

"The Einstein huh, did you know Hannah Shepard?"

"Yeah, we shared watch on the CIC, she'd vouch for old Zabaleta."

"Ok Mr Zabaleta it's been nice talking to you but I'm meant to meet someone soon so…"

"I'll get out of your hair… thank you for the creds," he said before sprinting towards another passer-by, hoping for another big pay day.

"Is it wise to give that much money to someone who's clearly going to waste it all on drugs or alcohol?" a man said from behind me. I could instantly tell who it was by the arrogant, bored tone.

"That's none of your concern. Kai is at Huerta Memorial getting treated by doctors. He was covered in bruises and cuts when we got to him."

"Good Commander, you managed to return the boy in one piece," Won praised, but his expression appeared more annoyed than anything else.

"Yeah, I kept my end of the bargain, so give me the information on Saren."

"I'll give you the information under one condition."

"That's enough of your games," I seethed before grabbing him by the collar. "You said rescue the kid and I'll get the information."

"There are two parts of the information Commander. I'll give you the first part now and the second after completing a simple task," Won stated. "Now let me go unless you want a repeat of what happened last time."

I don't blame him for his confidence, he completely outclassed me last time, so it's clear that going through this routine is going to backfire on me.

"Fine… so what's the second task?" I said whilst letting go.

"I want you to take the boy to Port Hanshan on planet Novaria. His closest friends are there and so are his carers. Do that and our business is concluded."

"The Normandy isn't a passenger vessel. Send him on a commercial one."

"The kid needs protection. I can't take him because I need to be elsewhere in the next few days. These two pieces of information are part of the reason my boss severed ties with Saren. So, act quickly, unless you wish to fall behind."

"Fine, we'll take the kid to Novaria. Now what do you know about Saren?"

"He's building a krogan cloning facility on Planet Virmire at the behest of his ship sovereign."

"At his ships behest? The ship is telling him what to do."

"Yes, but that's all I've been instructed to tell you. Here is the planet's location, but you should speak to your Council. It appears they've been hiding things from you. Salarian Special Tasks Group are on the planet."

"You mean like the Planet Virmire. They told me it didn't exist," I snapped. That and the have boots on the ground without informing me.

"Thanks for the info," I seethed before running towards the service elevator. Time is of the essence

"Goodbye, Anderson."

Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Council Chambers

Those lying, snake skinned assholes. How could they even think about hiding this from me? I guess Aldis was right, they just want to see me fall. They don't want a human to succeed where they had failed. They've probably sent another team to do the job, just so they could say they did my job for me. Granted, hanging up on them as often as I have has soured our relationship, but keeping this from me is unforgivable.

"Good day Agent Anderson, wh-" the asari assistant greeted before being interrupted by me.

"I need to talk to the Council now!"

"They are in a meeting with the human ambassador, I'm sure the meeting will be over soon," she reasoned.

"Listen I know you don't know much about what's going on. But I'm only asking this once. Take me to the Council!" I demanded.

"Agent Anderson, I'm afraid I cannot-"

This time she was interrupted by me taking out my grabbing her collar and pulling her towards me. "I don't have time to waste. Either take me to the Council or I'll leave them a note written in your blood," I threatened.

She appeared absolutely terrified and I don't blame her. It's times like this where having a reputation as the Butcher and a loose cannon have helped me. I have no intention of following through with the threat. 5-6 months ago, I probably would have gone through with it as well, but now, I doubt I could. She hasn't done anything wrong and she's just doing her job. I can't fault her for that.

We reached our destination and she shakily entered the key code, it's probably used just in case she has urgent news for them.

"Yaris, what are you doing? We're in the middle of an important meeting."

"I-I'm sorry Councillors but…"

I pushed past her and revealed myself to the room. "Leave!" I ordered, and this time she listened immediately.

"What's the meaning of this Commander!? We're discussing colonisation rights in the Hades Gamma."

"As important as they might be, mine trumps that. It seems my new bosses aren't keeping me in the loop regarding Saren."

"How dare you accuse the Council of-" Sparatus began.

"Shut up! For all I know you're still protecting him, like you did after Eden Prime!"

"Commander, reign yourself in." Udina warned.

Udina despises me I just know it. I know for a fact he wishes that Rylee was the SPECTRE instead of me. She probably wouldn't be as confrontational and aggressive.

"Or what, they're going to fire me. They're the ones who told me to hunt the bastard down and now they're holding me back. Tell me Councillors, what happened to Virmire. Did it magically reappear overnight, is that why STG are investigating Saren there?"

Shocked wouldn't begin to describe the look on their faces. For the first time since I've started dealing with them, I had managed to shut them up. They couldn't believe that I'd managed to find something they were clearly hiding from me, but why would they hide it.

"Want to explain?" Udina asked, he seemed to be more confused than anything else.

"Commander we didn't keep it from you to hinder your progress. We do far more than you realise. STG, Matriarchy, the Hierarchy are all beholden to the Council. We sent STG to investigate to make sure we weren't wasting time. We have dozens of teams working in tandem to find Saren, just because we didn't tell you about Virmire, it doesn't mean we aren't working with you," Tevos asserted.

"I told you about Virmire. I told you Saren has a base there but you told me it didn't exist."

"That's because it wasn't on any records. We believe Saren must have erased it all Council databases, with the geth at his disposal that's a possibility."

"Then how did you find it?" Udina asked.

"We made a deal with Aria T'Loak," Tevos announced.

That name pops up again. This asari must be a major player in galactic politics if the Council are going through her rather than the shadow broker. When this is, all said, and done I need to meet her.

"I don't give a shit what deal was made. What did the Salarians tell you?"

The councillors each exchanged looks, but no one spoke and that's giving me a bad feeling. No one was saying anything and that was getting me antsy. There's only one explanation I can think of that would make the Councillors quiet. They're embarrassed.

"You've lost contact haven't you," I guessed.

Their silence was all the answer I needed. I stood there rubbing my eyes, my muscles tense and shaking and fighting the snarl threatening to escape my lips. "How long ago?" I gritted through my teeth.

"1 standard day ago," Valern answered.

"I'm going to Virmire and I'm going to rescue your people. Hopefully there's something on Saren. Now is there anything that STG told you."

"We'll have their messages forwarded to the Normandy, but we must warn you that the more recent ones are unintelligible. Commander, those messages were sent through channels restricted to mission critical communication. So, it was important."

"And you still kept this from me. How many teams and groups were you going to send before informing me about Virmire? Am I at the bottom of your priority list."

"Commander, we weren't sure if you would listen, considering how often you hang up on us," Tevos snapped.

"Maybe if we could fully trust you to do the right thing then we would come to you more often." Sparatus.

"Fuck you," I spat.

"Anderson, control yourself. You represent humanity to the Council. Whatever anger they have towards you, they take it out on our species. So please stop," Udina begged.

He appeared to be angry, with a familiar scowl and scrunched nose. But this time I could see something different. Desperation.

He wants to help humanity, he truly does. He wants to help us advance but he's no soldier. He's doing it in the only way he knows how, just like I try to in the only way I know. He doesn't deserve his job to become any more difficult than it already is.

"I think that's enough out of you Commander. Don't you have a Rogue SPECTRE to catch," Tevos dismissed, whilst shooing me away with her hands. As if I were a dog. As if I were her pet. Like I was an ANIMAL.

I found myself instinctively taking a step towards her to attack. I had my biotics concentrated in my fist, prepared to punch her through the wall.

Fuck these aliens who think they're better than me. You are not my master and you will never hold my leash again. Not any asari, turian, salarian, hanar or batarian.

"Be still love," Liara's voice instructed. "Let me soothe you pain. Let me cool your rage," she proclaimed.

Upon hearing her voice, I came to my senses. I became aware of the dark energy that had built up around my fist and quickly restrained myself. Thankfully no one else spotted it so I'm in the clear. If they think I'm a threat to their safety, they won't hesitate to have me killed.

I cursed as I stormed out of the room. I work for the most indecisive, inactive, biggest wastes of life in the universe. I have heard of incompetence but this is a whole new level. If I could I would replace the three of them in a heartbeat. They had better hope that their lives never fall into my hands.

I radioed Joker to tell him to prepare for immediate departure, and issued a 1 hour return order to any crew that were ashore. We need to get to Virmire immediately before Saren can accomplish whatever it is he's trying to achieve.

Rylee is with Captain Anderson right now, I need to ask David a favour anyways.

Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, C-Sec Academy

[Rylee]

Me and Captain Anderson were kicking back and having drinks in Flux when Nate comes in like a storm and pretty much drags us to C-Sec academy, going on something about the Council. This probably has something to do with the return order he issued.

He took the two of us into the interrogation room and we sat directly across from him. "Captain I need to ask you a favour."

"What is it?"

"I need you to watch this kid for a few days until I get back."

"Are you talking about Kai?" I asked.

"Yeah, we need to take him to Novaria. But we can't do it now, the next place we're going to is too dangerous to take a child."

"I know it's your ship now Nate, but why are you even entertaining the possibility of using the Normandy as a passenger vehicle."

"I wouldn't be doing this if I saw no benefit. The people who gave me information have asked me to take him to Novaria if I want the rest of it. Plus, the kid wants to go. I just can't take him now."

"Does he know what's going on?"

"Yeah, he does, I dropped by the hospital before coming here. He has your picture and the nurses know who to look out for. Just bring confirmation of ID when you pick him up."

Captain started chuckling, "You're really not giving me much of a choice are you."

"Thanks David. Rylee, we need to get aboard the ship now. I'll explain what's going on in the team meeting."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

[Liara]

"So now the Council have STG on Virmire but they haven't reported in the last days or so," Nathan finished

There was an immediate outpour of rage and frustration. The most Vocal being Ashley and Garrus. Garrus has grown so much since joining the crew. When he initially joined, he kept mostly to himself and didn't really speak to anyone. After Nate started talking to the Turian and took him under his wing he has shown his strength. Garrus has become one of his most trusted confidantes aboard the ship, with Nate often discussing battle tactics with him. Nate has influenced Garrus a great deal since meeting him and for better or worse, Garrus has become a stronger personality aboard the ship.

"The Council can't be that stupid. We haven't failed a simple task that's been assigned to us by themselves or the Alliance," Ashley argued.

"They think I failed on Therum and Feros. They wanted me to keep the ruins intact and keep the Thorian alive for study," Nate sighed, whilst digging his fingers into his temples.

"They can't be serious. The Thorian was going to kill us and enslave an entire colony. If we didn't use the laser, the geth would have outnumbered and killed us," Garrus countered.

"I am just as pissed off as the rest of you. But right now, we need to focus. Joker said that we are 15 hours away from Virmire. Use that time to rest and prepare. Saren is probably on the planet and if so, expect a geth army. We need to be on top of our game."

"You're making this sound final Commander," Wrex said.

"Just being careful Wrex."

"We've got Saren by his neck. All that's left to do is squeeze."

"Well said. Everyone's dismissed. Liara I need to talk to you, can you stay behind?" Nate instructed.

"Someone's in trouble," Williams teased.

"Grow up, Ash," he smirked.

Once the room was clear we began talking. "Liara, what are the side effects of melding?"

"Why? Are you experiencing anything strange Commander?"

"Just answer the question."

I pursed her my and gazed into his eyes. "There aren't any to my knowledge. It provides us a deeper sense of understanding of one another, but that's about it."

"So, it doesn't put you in my head. It can't let you talk to my mind or appear before me as a mirage."

"No. I am afraid if you are experiencing that, it must be purely from your own psyche. Have you been thinking about me Commander?"

"Yes, and I want it to stop."

"Wow, I was not expecting that. But unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it. Can I ask what sort of thoughts have you been having?"

"Nothing sordid… you appear in mirrors, I hear your echoes in my mind, telling me things… and no I'm not going to tell you what they're saying."

This is very intriguing. In all the books, I've read on the subject, none have ever mentioned this. One's essence remaining in her partner's mind after the connection is severed. I need to do more research.

"That is fine. You can tell me when you are ready."

"Dammit Liara why are you so damned understanding!" he growled, before jumping up from his seat in anger.

I moved to touch his shoulder but he immediately reached for my arm and grabbed it. "Don't touch me" he shouted.

He walked over to the other side of the room, his biotic aura on full display. His back was turned to me, but it was clear he was frustrated. His muscles were tensed and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists.

"I almost killed the Asari Councillor today," he confessed.

Try as I might, I couldn't hide the shock. Killing a Councillor is unthinkable and reckless even for him. The ramifications would be immense for this crew and humanity as a whole.

He wouldn't try to kill her no matter how much she insulted him or no matter what decision she made. I know Nathan well enough to know he has restraint. So, what is it that could have set him off. I has to be an action she performed. She must have done something that made him lose his mind.

"Why did the thought cross your mind?"

"She… shooed me, like I was a dog she could dismiss."

A dog? From the sound of things that's probably a pet of some kind. So, she made him feel like a pet. By the Goddess. She made him feel like an animal. Just like Talitha.

"I don't want to hurt you. I'm scared I might wake up, see you and immediately go back there. I might kill you because I wake up thinking you're trying to hurt me, just like my former masters." He confessed.

"Whenever I see an alien I still feel that fire in my stomach. I hate the fact I still can't shake my fear of batarians, no matter how small it is now. I still feel a slight hatred towards all aliens. And I can't stand the fact that I look at you and I can see my former masters in your eyes."

As he spoke, I quietly got behind him and embraced him. At first, he was perfectly still, but I could feel his muscles melt to my touch.

"You wouldn't hurt me."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know that you care about me, and you want to protect me."

"Why do you have so much faith in me?"

"Because I love you."

Once I said those words he pulled himself away from me and walked out of the room. He didn't utter a single word, nor did he even look back. I tried to fight back the tears but found that was a battle I was destined to lose.

That hurt.

Flash-forward

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK SHIT SHIT, SHIT. Why the fuck is my life never fair? Is it my purpose in life to suffer? This constant guilt eating away at my very being. It feels like I'm slowly becoming a husk. A soulless vessel just passing through life.

We needed to make sure the nuke went off, we had to make the smart choice. But it doesn't make what happened any easier to digest. Losing crew is the worst feeling a CO can ever experience.

"Nate, are you up?"

"I can't sleep."

"You should get some rest. We'll reach Earth soon."

I turned to face her and caressed her cheek. I can't ever lose her, I couldn't take it. She means more to me than anything and I would die to protect her.

"I love you Liara."

"I love you too Nate"

Kaidan, Rylee please I hope you both understand. I made the choice Rylee. Someone had to die I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.