"Hello!" she answered her call in an anxious tone.

"umm… Brooke… Abby woke up.. I think she had a nightmare. She has been crying constantly and asking for you. I've tried to pacify her but… Uh.. She just keeps crying… I… I Don't know what to do." said a worrisome Lucas.

"what's your room number?" Brooke said anxiously.

"309"

"I'll be there!"

Not even five minutes later there was a knock on the door. Lucas opened the door and was surprised to see Brooke there.

"uh!! How did you get here so fast" Lucas asked, moving aside to let her enter.

"I was just nearby. Where's Abby?" she asked hurriedly.

"huh… that room" he pointed at the door and Brooke almost sprinted towards it and Lucas followed her.

"Hey baby, mommy's here… It's okay… Mommy is here" Brooke sat on Abby's bed and Abby quickly climbed on to her lap and curled into a ball burying her face in Brooke's chest. Brooke rubbed her back and rocked her as Abby cried.

"honey… It's okay… What happened? Was it a bad dream again?" she asked in a soothing voice and Abby nodded.

"That's alright. You are a big girl now, aren't you?" she cooed and Abby shook her head in a no making Brooke laugh.

"awh my baby" chuckled Brooke kissing the top of her head.

"I.. I missed you" Abby sniffed wiping her nose.

"I missed you to baby" said Brooke as Abby snuggled closer to her.

"Lucas will you please get some water?" Lucas nodded and quickly went out to get water.

"I wanna go home" Abby pouted and looked at Brooke through her tear-filled glassy eyes.

"honey, it's very late, we can't go home now. You wanted to stay here with your dad, didn't you? Now if you leave, daddy will feel so bad. You don't want to hurt him, do you?" Abby shook her head.

"That's my girl! You sleep now and we'll go home in the morning, okay?"

"okay" Abby agreed and with that Lucas came with a glass of water. Abby drank some water and Brooke wiped her tear stained face and kissed her forehead.

"you'll try to sleep now?"

"mmhmm… you'll stay with me?"

"of course sweetie"

"poem?" Abby pouts and Brooke chuckles.

"Okay.." whispered Brooke rocking Abby in her lap.

In her husky yet so soothing voice, she started reciting "I carry your heart with me". Lucas looked at the mother daughter duo in awe. He remembered reciting the same poem to Brooke once. E. E Cummings was one of his favorite writers and he had wanted to introduce Brooke to his world of poetry. It had been years since he had read or heard this poem and Brooke remembering the poem and reciting it to their daughter surprised him. Lucas walked out of the room wanting to be alone and clear his head.

By the time Brooke recited the last line, Abby had fallen asleep again. Brooke tucked her in and walked out of her room closing the door behind her.

"She is asleep. This happens sometimes and when she wakes up she needs me to be there, that's why I was a little reluctant to send her for night stays." she shrugged casually.

"So you were just lurking outside my hotel?" Lucas said harshly, surprising Brooke.

"I wasn't lurking?" said Brooke getting defensive.

"Oh come on! How else did you get here within minutes of my call?" he scoffed.

"I wasn't lurking… I..

I was just… Just restless and worried…. Call it intuition or whatever… So I just wanted to be close. I was worried about my daughter, how is that wrong?"

"huh! So you were sure that I wouldn't be able to handle her, rather maybe you prayed for it!" he spat.

"Yeah right! I prayed for my daughter to wake up scared and crying." said Brooke in a disgusted tone.

"Why do you keep saying "My" daughter? She is mine too."

"God! Why do you have to twist my words every time? I knew you'll have problems if I came and trust me I wouldn't have come if Neal or Mille were home, I would have sent one of them. They are the only ones who can handle her other than me."

"Wow! So strangers can handle my daughter better than me."

"Mille and Neal aren't strangers to Abby, they are family. Mille has been in our life even before Abby was born. Mille was there in the delivery room when Abby was born so don't you dare call her a stranger and Neal isn't stranger too, Lucas. Abby knows him since she was two years old and even then it took a lot of time for Abby to be that close to him too. This is the very reason I told you to first get to know her well, build some trust and then only take her away for the night and you took her for two. She has never stayed away from home that long. She is a kid Lucas you just can't change everything around her all of a sudden and expect her to be alright with it. It'll take time." Brooke was fuming. It was unbelievable that their daughter was crying and all he could think of is how she came here so quickly.

"Why did you do this to me Brooke?" Lucas asked looking at her with hurtful eyes.

"what do you mean?" she asked crossing her arms defensively.

"you kept her away from me. I missed her birth, I missed her first step, her first words. I missed such important years of her life. Now other people are closer to her than I am. How could you do this to me Brooke? How could you do this to Abby? How could you be so heartless?" he hissed at her.

"I did what was best for everyone at that time. I wasn't sorry then, I'm not sorry now and I will never be sorry for it and as I said before, I don't regret it and I would do it again in a heartbeat if the circumstances were the same." Brooke said, looking straight into his eyes .

Lucas shivered with anger listening to her words. "God! You are such a stone-cold bitch. I would have forgiven you if you were sorry about what you did, but you are so cruel, you aren't even a tiniest bit guilty about what you did." he said, his voice rising with every word.

"keep your voice down!" Brooke whisper-hissed,"you'll wake her up."

Brooke moved away from Abby's room and whispered,

"Now you want a family so you feel all victimized, but the old Lucas I'm sure would have been relieved." she scoffed.

"what the fuck! How can you even think I would have been relieved?" he gritted trying to keep his voice down.

"Admit it Lucas, you never wanted a baby with me. It was Peyton you dreamed of having a family with me. I was just a distraction. Of course you didn't want to father a baby with the "school slut" isn't it true?" Lucas was shocked, hurt and angry all at once hearing her say that.

"I never saw you as a school slut and never have I ever called you a slut, ever."

"You might as well have. According to you I was pregnant with Chris Keller's child."

"Og God!!" he gritted his teeth in frustration,

"I said that once. Just once!! How long are you going to hold that on me?" he hissed.

"You said that to me in junior year too. You said you didn't know if it was yours" said Brooke with teary eyes.

"You are insane…. YoU are insane! You seriously need a shrink Brooke!! You lied to me, you weren't even pregnant at that time!!"

"But I was!!" the words came out as a sob and tears started streaming down her cheeks.

The room fell silent. Lucas looked at her in shock, still trying to register what she just said. She couldn't have said that… No, no I must have heard it wrong, he thought and looked at Brooke.

"What.. What do you mean?" he asked in an almost inaudible tone.

"I was pregnant Lucas, in Junior year, I was pregnant" she sobbed.

"but.. You… You said you lied….you weren't pregnant…" Lucas asked in confusion and then his eye widened with the next thought that came to his mind.

"Did you?... You.. Terminate the—"

"God No!" Brooke yelled. "I lost it! I had a miscarriage."

"wha….how?" Lucas' eyes widened.

"you wanna know how?" Brooke chuckled bitterly. "with all yours and Peyton's drama and all the things you made me go through, I was so stressed and then you said that you didn't even know if it was your child. I was so stressed and I was hurting so much. I was 17 and pregnant and single. I didn't know what to do… and one day…" she swallowed a knot in the throat… "one day I started bleeding… I…I was bleeding so bad… I drove myself to the clinic in that condition, but I was too late… I lost it. The doctor said I wasn't strong enough for the pregnancy and because of high levels of stress that my blood pressure that risen and I had a miscarriage … I lost it…. I lost my baby. He said I might never be able to have children, ever." Brooke hid her face in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.

"why didn't you ever tell me" Lucas whispered still in shock as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"tell you?" sniffed Brooke looking up at him "Why would I tell the person who first cheated on me then broke up with me and then accused me of infidelity?" her eyes challenged him to answer and Lucas dropped on the couch and hid his face in his hands, not wanting to look at the pain in her eyes.

"but most of all, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to go through the same pain I was experiencing." her voice cracked and Lucas' head shot up.

"Shocking right?" she laughed a humorless laugh through her tears. "I hated you for breaking my heart, I hated you for cheating on me, I hated you for taking away my best friend, my only friend, but apparently I loved you more. I wanted to save you from all the pain and the heartbreak of losing a child." she sobbed.

"Lucas, when you broke my heart I thought.. I thought that was the most painful thing that could ever happen to me… But then… then I lost my baby" her voice croaked… "a baby I didn't even know that I wanted…. That pain Lucas…. That pain is terrible… it's the worst…. Nothing compares to it… It breaks you to the core." she hiccuped. "I didn't want you to feel that so I lied. If you didn't know about it you wouldn't feel it." she shrugged wiping her tears stained cheeks.

"Brooke" he breathed out and took a step closer to her but she stopped him. She had never intended on telling him this, ever. But now that she had started she knew she had to finish it and she knew well if he just touched her she would break down and wouldn't be able to complete the rest of it.

"Then… then we got back together, I got pregnant, again. And your timing of cheating on me has always been impeccable" she laughed and Lucan flinched at the coldness of her voice. "Every time I was pregnant, you cheated on me. My doctor had told me to be very careful this time. With all the drama going on, again, I wasn't gonna risk my child's life, my Abby's life." her voice croaked. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

"So, I decided to leave Tree Hill. I left the only life I had known so that I could save my baby's life, so that I could give Abby a life.You and everyone else can judge me all you want, but I'll never regret my decision." she started sobbing again and this time Lucas didn't stop. He covered the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her and she sobbed harder. All the pain that she had kept buried in her came out flooding her. She buried her face in his chest and cried, cried for the baby they had lost, cried for the fear she had felt, cried for the heartbreak she had gone through. Once she started, she just couldn't seem to stop. Lucas found himself crying too. The last time he cried was when he came out clean about his heart condition and that time Brooke consoled him. It was so difficult to imagine how she stayed strong for so long. How did she keep everything buried in her went about her life?

It felt like it took ages for Brooke to stop sobbing. She pulled away from Lucas and he reluctantly let her go.

"I'm sorry…" said Brooke walking away from him and sitting on the couch. "I never planned on telling you any of this. I don't know… I just wanted to keep the past in the past. There was no point telling you any of it."

"But you should have told me, Brooke. I should have been there with you, for you. God, I'm so sorry Brooke, I can't even imagine what you went through…. God…. I have been such an ass to you…. I'm really sorry." Lucas just didn't know how he could ever make up for it. God! He lost a baby and he didn't even know about it. Could he blame it all on Brooke? Never. Knowing the reasons why she hid it just broke his heart even more. She wanted to save him from pain? Damn it!

"I'm sorry" Brooke whispered and Lucas looked at her in shock. In the past few weeks all he wanted was to hear Brooke apologize to him. To listen to her admit she was wrong, but now he just didn't understand why she was apologizing so he gave her a quizzical look.

"I am not sorry for hiding my pregnancy, I never will be, but I'm sorry I kept Abby hidden from you for so long. I didn't mean to. I had planned to tell you about her after she was born, but I got scared."

"scared?" Lucas frowned.

"Lucas, I went through my pregnancy alone. I had no one. Well, I had Mille, but I didn't know her that well at that time and didn't trust her much. I had lost faith in people and could have never imagined someone could be as nice to me as Mille has always been."

"I'm sorry" Lucas whispered staring at the wall and trying to process everything.

"During the pregnancy, I got so attached to Abby and when she was born, I got scared. I didn't want to share her with anyone. I had this unreasonable fear that if I tell you about her you'll take her away from me."

"Brooke I'd never—"

"I know… I know that… But it was what it was…and that's why I said it was unreasonable. No one has ever loved me, Lucas, but the moment I held her in my arms, God she was so beautiful, she was perfect and I knew she loved me." a small smile graced her face. "My baby was the first person to ever love me unconditionally. I didn't want to share that love. I was scared of losing her. It was wrong to think like that, I know but that's how I felt. You had Karen, Lily, Andy, Peyton, Nathan, Haley… In fact even Dan. I had no one.. I just had Abby and I got greedy."

"you didn't have to be alone Brooke. I could have been there and okay you didn't trust me, fine at least you could have gone to your parents. I can't imagine how you did everything alone. We all thought you went to your parent's. In fact, didn't you tell Haley that you'd go to your parent's. We all thought you were in California with your parents. Why didn't you go there? I'm sorry, but It was really stupid of you to be alone during your pregnancy and raising Abby alone."

"I did. I went to California. I told them I was pregnant. My father told me what a disgrace I was to the family and left for his business trip and my mother informed me that she has booked an appointment with the doctor for the next day and I would be terminating my pregnancy. She didn't ask me what I wanted, whether I wanted to keep the baby or not, she just went ahead and booked an appointment for me to get an abortion." tears rolled down her face once again and Lucas balled his fist thinking about what if Brooke had gone through with an abortion.

"That night when Victoria went to sleep I quietly packed my bags and left. My baby wasn't safe there, so how could I stay there?" tears started rolling down her face again as she recalled that night, thinking about the stab she had felt in her heart listening to her mother's words. Everything flashed in front of her eyes, that night and the next seven months of her pregnancy. Once she left her home and came to New York she didn't want her parents to find her so she refrained from using her credit cards, her joint accounts and even her health insurance. She enrolled herself in a school and took up odd jobs along with her clothes over bros website and yet struggled to meet ends. It was lucky that her grandmother had set a trust fund for her which she received after she graduated from high school. It was a very large amount of money and wasn't linked to her parents in any way. With that money she managed to look after Abby as well as start her company. However, the months of the pregnancy were the hardest, physically, emotionally and financially.

Lucas just looked at her as she cried. He was still trying to wrap his head around all the information. He didn't know how to react to any of it. He was hurt, he was angry but he was feeling so guilty too. It was beyond his imagination how Brooke managed to live alone, care for Abby, complete her education, build up an empire and become one of the most successful businesswoman.He always knew Brooke was meant for great things but today there was a new found respect for her in his heart. Although a few weeks ago he could have stated he hated her, but now he wasn't sure whom he should be hating. Brooke was the strongest and the most confident girl he had ever met and it broke his heart to think that she felt no one ever loved her before Abby. He had loved her. I had really loved her, but then again he did a great job proving the other way.

"Mommy" a little voice startled both of them.

"Abby?? Honey, what happened? I thought you were asleep" Brooke frowned and wiping her tears away she walked towards her precious little girl.

"I woke up but you weren't there, you said you won't leave… mommy why are you crying? Did you have a scary dream too?" Abby frowned, wiping a stray tear off Brooke's face.

"Yeah, a very scary dream" Brooke whispered and hugged her.

"I hate bad dreams." Frowned Abby.

"Me too baby, me too" Brooke pulled back and smiled softly at Abby.

"come, you shouldn't be awake this late"

"Will you tell me a story?"

"umm.. how about daddy tell you a story tonight? He is a very good story teller." she smiled at Lucas, who was watching the exchange between Brooke and Abby.

"Will you daddy? Please!" Abby pleaded looking at Lucas with her puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, but only if you promise to sleep."

"pinkie promise" said Abby extending her pinkie finger.

"okay then princess."

Brooke watched as Lucas settled on the bed near Abby.

"Mommy I want you too"

Brooke hesitated a little before getting in the bed. Abby lied down with Brooke and Lucas on either side of her. Lucas started telling a story and Abby loved the feeling of being with her mom and dad together. Brooke looked at her little girl, she was beaming with joy. She loved how happy Abby was and she was ready to do anything to keep her this happy always and for that Brooke knew Lucas and she need to forget their past and start a fresh and try to be friendly with each other for Abby's sake. And for Abby, Brooke promised herself she would do it.

-xx-

A/Nhey guys! Been a long time huh? The past year and a half have been quite rough. Somewhere while dealing with everything I lost the passion for everything that I loved, writing being one of the things. It has taken me quite some time to come out of it and be thankful for all that I have rather than mourn for all that is lost. Anyway, it's been a long time and I don't even know if anyone is still following this story but it feels wrong leaving this story incomplete. I would like to apologise to everyone who had been waiting for me to upload and if anyone is still interested in it, I hope this chapter was worth the wait.