For a while they all sat on the sofa in a hugging pile, but the weight of the situation soon caught up with them all, and as they finally broke apart the air was thick with tension and everyone looked around unsure what to do next. Surprisingly it was Remus who broke the awkward silence.
"I-IM' sorry please dont be disappointing." He spoke in such a small voice the others had to strain to hear it but when they did it broke their hearts.
"Disappointed? Why on earth would we be disappointed?" Deceit questioned.
"B-Because I was bad, and I-I made everyone upset, and i failed, and i messed up so much, and i couldn't even make up for it properly without messing up and making everyone upset and I probably caused so many problems and i-"
"Aww Remus its ok, we aren't disappointed." Patton tried to comfort, but Remus made no indication that he heard him.
"And earlier i had ignored Patton this morning and then I made Deceit and Roman argue and then everyone was angry and upset and that was all my fault. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm such a a failure. I mess up so-"
They had all noticed as Remus went on with his rambling his tears grew and soon he began hyperventilating, but none of their words worked to pull him back, until Deceit pulled him to his chest, burying the Creative sides head in his chest and playing with his hair while gently rocking side to side. Instantly Remus' rambling cut off as he was surrounded by the comforting scent of his snake mum, and listening to the steady heart beat pressed to his ear.
The other sides just stared in shock, they had never seen Remus like this and it worried them. Sure they all knew that the chaotic side had to have emotions but he rarely showed them other than his excitement, so to seem him so upset was upsetting. The swiftness of Deceits actions made them feel so much worse, they realised these freak outs may not be new, but something the pair have gone through before, without any of them noticing, not even Virgil.
They all stayed in silence for a while, allowing Deceit to whisper comforting words to Remus, hoping the other would calm down soon, but looking at Remus' shoulders still shaking so violently, they had little hope. Soon Deceit spoke up loud enough for all of them to hear.
"Would it be better if it was just the two of us?" they all saw a quick nod of the hidden before Deceit looked at them with apologetic eyes.
They all knew the pair had a special bond, but to be left out of the conversation where their friend, no family member was hurting was upsetting, but Remus needed to open up to someone, and if that had to be alone then they could accept that, and so they all got up and after sending quiet words of love to Remus, left.
Deceit held Remus like that for a while longer, before gently pulling Remus away, ignoring the small whine the other let out, so he could see his face.
"Remus, I promise you you are not a disappointment to any of us. We love you. I love you so much,you are amazing and incredible and I would die if i lost you. Can you tell me why you thought that?" Deceit spoke in a soft voice reserved only for when the two were in private.
Remus just shrugged his shoulders.
"Ok. It's ok you can tell me later. I just want to help you but we can go at your pace. It's ok baby. You said earlier about ignoring Patton earlier today was that breakfast?"
Remus nods.
Deceit took a deep breath " That was two days ago sweetie. You were passed out for two whole days." Deceit could feel Remus tense up so he began stroking his hair again, calming him down. " Do you remember what happened?" Another nod. " Is that why you seemed ill the day before as well?" Another nod. " Oh baby…. I wish you'd have told me before it went this far. Please in the future talk to me before doing this, we can come up with a way to deal with it."
"B-but then I wouldn't be punished…." Remus sounded so broken Deceit almost broke down then.
"Baby why do you need punishing….." although he had an idea, he needed to confirm it before he could fix this.
"'M bad, messed up, need to be better for them to accept 't keep doing bad." Those words broke Deceits heart, he couldn't believe his baby felt like this and he didn't realise, and worse of all that he didn't realise he wanted to be accepted so much.
"No. no no no baby you don't have to do that. You don't have to change at all for them to accept you, and even if that was true this isn't how you do it."
" But it worked…." Remus' voice gained its usual excited spark as he spoke "They like me more now, I get to hang out with them more and i get to play with Roman, I even get to eat. Dee it's great around them" His voice dropped again, almost pleading now "Please don't make me stop, I don't want to lose this."
"R-Remus you can't keep doing that, we can talk to the others and get them to accept you as you are, please you cannot keep hurting yourself to get them to like you."
"NO! I'm not losing this! This is the only way they will accept me! It's the only way I can behave and that's what i have to do so i wont stop and you cannot stop me!"
"You can't do this Remus! You are so weak, it's hurting you so much! W-What if it kills you?" Deceit had tears streaming down his own face now but he didn't care, all of his attention was on the side in front of him, he didn't even notice the other sides who had been listening in.
"So what?! It wouldn't matter anyway! If i can't join you all what's the point?! To sit alone and not be able to do anything?! It's pointless! You have another creativity so what's the point of me?! I could just disappear and take all the bad stuff with me and it wouldn't matter, no one would care unless I'm able to change to be better!" After his outburst, Remus curled in on himself, holding back sobs.
"Remus… I '' Deceit reached over to touch him, but Remus flinched away. " I don't know how to show you more but I love you, I love you so much, I only want to help you and I hate seeing you in pain. Please we can come up with a different way to get the others to accept you but you don't need to do this, you are amazing and perfect as you are, your outbursts and intrusive thoughts make up you, not just creativity. Thomas would have such a rush of intrusive thoughts if you left it would reck him, you are so important to him, please please don't talk about yourself like that again."
Remus uncurled himself slightly and sent a weak glare to Deceit " Too bad you're the only one who thinks that."
"That's not true! I'm so sorry for how we acted towards you, we shouldn't have forced you to change but from now on you can be you around us, to be homst you ating calm and nice was getting creepy." Remus let out a watery laugh. " And as your twin i cannot allow you to change at all, you must stay the same or you'll steal my thing and that cannot happen." Roman grinned at his brother from his new place in front of the sofa.
"Yeah I'm sorry too kiddo. I shouldn't have given you all those rules, they stop you from being you and we can't have that, you have to be you! And you can join us whenever you like, you are one of us now." Patton smiled warmly at him.
"R-Really?"
"Yeah. I mean they accepted me for who I am, darkness and all, and Deceit with his scaly face and lying so why not you as well. Also sorry, I know how much it sucks to try and fit in and I just made things harder for you." Virgil looked at Remus with guilt in his eyes.
"I feel i should add if believed we would see your actions as the correct course you are mistaken, we would never wish pain upon someone else, even if ,unlike yourself, we did hate them."
"See it isn't just me who thinks it, we all want the best for you, and we hate seeing you hurt, it broke us so much to see you laying here, please talk to us next time, even if you can't talk to me, talk to someone."
"Ok i will, I promise… sorry Dee." Remus fully uncurled himself and hugged Deceit.
"You don't need to apologize, I'm just glad you're listening." Deceit held Remus protectively.
"Not just that, for what I said, i didn't mean to upset you." Remus spoke quietly enough so only Deceit could hear.
"You can make it up to me by talking to me in the future." Deceit smirked.
"Deal! Now can we eat? I'm starving."
"Dinner will be done any minute. Go sit down." Patton giggled.
After that they all made their way to the kitchen table setting in to their usual seats chatting happily about random things. Deceit would bump shoulders with Remus every so often Remus shooting him a smile every time.
Once everyone had eaten, no one wanted to leave the others, so they all opted to have a movie marathon. So Patton made some snacks, popcorn and cookies, Remus and Roman ran around like mad men seeing who could get the most pillows and blankets ( Roman totally didn't let his brother win.) while Deceit and Logan set up the DVD player, inserting shrek as requested by Remus. Soon they found themselves all squished together on the too small sofa but no one complained. Logan sat against one side, with patton cuddling up against him, Virgil sat with his back against the sofa in between Romans legs who was leaning into his brother while the green twin curled up on Deceits lap.
Everyone sat through the movie quietly to begin with until snickering was heard from Remus, everyone ignored it to begin with until Deceit chuckled and asked" what's so funny Ree?"
"Well we fit the characters, I'm Donkey, Dee is Shrek, Roman is Lord Farquaad, Virgil is Fiona, Patton is the gingerbread man but I can't figure out who Logan is." The rest of the group started laughing as well, ignoring Roman's protests and playful punches.
Throughout the rest of the movie the group would point out lines each other would say and all ended up in stitches by the end and agreed to do it for all of the movies, until half way through Shrek 3 Deceit heard soft snoring from on top of him and smiled as he noticed Remus asleep.
"I'm going to take him to my bed, see you all tomorrow." He whispered, catching all the others' attention, before passing Remus to his brother so he could get up before carrying the boy to the snakes room. Once inside he transformed their outfits into fluffy pjs before getting both of them situated under the covers holding Remus close and kissing his forehead.
"I won't let you ever get hurt again baby." he spoke in barely a whisper before closing his eyes and quickly falling asleep.