WARNING: Violence/rape in first section this chapter.
The morning after the wedding, Bellatrix found herself with a splitting headache. After a large gulp of a hangover potion and a pot of coffee, she was feeling slightly better. She was finishing her breakfast of croissants and jam when one of their house elves informed her Rodolphus wanted her to go to his study.
She rolled her eyes at the thought. It wasn't like he did anything other than drink and smoke in the study, apart from occasionally check his accounts. Not that he needed to. Bellatrix had seen his vaults.
Still, she knew it would be easier if she just went and agreed with whatever he had to say. As she trekked up the stairs, a feeling of anxiety pooled in her stomach. He hadn't been in bed when she'd returned last night, very late, so she didn't think he was complaining about that.
She forced a smile to her face as she entered the room, seeing him, predictably, cigarette in hand. "Hello, Roddy," she said, trying to make her voice cheerful. She crossed the room, pressing a kiss against his cheek as she greeted him.
His expression was cold. "Did you have a good time yesterday?" he asked, frowning at her.
Bellatrix faltered slightly. "I did, yes," she responded, forcing the smile back. "Narcissa had a lovely day." She headed for the seat on the other side of his desk, pulling it out about to sit on it.
"I haven't given you permission to sit," Rodolphus snapped, flicking his wand so that the chair moved back beneath the desk.
Gulping, Bellatrix looked up at him. "No, I'm sorry," she said, feeling it was easier just to apologise.
Rodolphus drummed his fingers on the desk, scowling at her. "I have heard reports from some of the fellows that were there, yesterday. They tell me you spent the entire day with the Dark Lord, even dancing with him later on."
Bellatrix's mouth opened wide, about to retort in shock, before thinking the better of it. She shut her mouth, looking down at the floor.
"It is disappointing that I cannot trust you to behave yourself around him."
"Rodolphus, please-" Bellatrix said softly, looking up at him. "My mother insisted that I stay with him."
"Did she insist you dance with him?" he snapped back.
Bellatrix shook her head. "He asked, I thought it rude to refuse..."
Rodolphus stood up, moving around the desk to her. His height and size scared her, and she felt herself shrinking back. "But you didn't consider it improper to dance with another man in my absence?"
"I'm sorry, Roddy," she murmured, really hoping he wasn't going to get angrier with her.
He chuckled. It was a deeply menacing sound and Bellatrix felt her hands shaking at it. "You're not sorry yet," he replied, closing the gap between them with one step. He grabbed her by the hair, pulling her head back sharply to look into his face. She was surprised when she realised she didn't see a handsome man there anymore, just a terrifying monster who she had married by mistake. His face was a cross between anger and sadistic amusement at her discomfort. As he pulled her closer, she could feel his erection pressing into her and she wished she could escape.
"Roddy, please," she said softly, looking into his dark eyes. She couldn't see an ounce of love or pity in them and that frightened her.
"I am going to punish you, Bellatrix," he said, his voice cold and a smirk on his face. "I have not punished you thus far into our marriage because I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt before I damaged you. I can see you have been distracted by the Dark Lord, and I will seek to rectify that." He turned her around, pushing her upper body across the desk. His hand rested on the back of her neck, stopping her from getting back up. "You have made me hit you in anger. I have regretted both incidences because they reflect a lack of control on my side. Punishments of a disobedient wife should be premeditated considered events."
Bellatrix shut her eyes as he spoke, feeling terrified. She had no idea what he was going to do to her. She definitely preferred bruises on her face at that moment. She jumped and squeaked slightly as he grabbed her wrists, pulling her arms out in front of her. He carefully positioned each hand by the far edge of the table, tapping them with his wand. Bellatrix was suddenly aware she was unable to move them.
She could hear him rummaging in a drawer, and then his hand was back in her hair, wrenching her head upwards. She had no choice but to look at him, and it took her a while to realise what he was holding. It was a huge ball gag. He chuckled at her expression. "Open wide," he said cheerfully, forcing his fingers into her mouth to open her jaw. Roughly, he shoved the gag into her mouth, just behind her teeth. He pulled the buckles behind her head, closing them tightly. "I love the sound of a scream through a gag," he said, looking down at her face again. "Of course, I love how helpless it's going to make you feel, Bellatrix." He was smiling spitefully.
Then he moved away. Bellatrix could hear him behind her after another moment, and she felt herself tense in reflex. Something cold and metallic was pressed against her cheek, and she was petrified as she realised it was a very sharp knife. He dragged the flat edge against her cheek, pulling it back towards him.
"I'm going to cut your clothes off." She could hear the amusement in his voice. "Try not to move too much."
Feeling absolute terror, Bellatrix tried to relax to stop herself from shaking as he sliced at the straps of her dress. When he was done, he roughly pulled the top part of her dress down to her stomach. Then she felt him undo her bra, pulling it forwards and cutting the straps of that too. He pulled it off, tossing it to the floor. He set the knife down next to her, and Bellatrix was relieved. She jumped as his hands slid underneath her, toying with her breasts for a moment before moving back.
She felt one hand on the inside of each of her thighs, dragging her legs wide apart. Then with a further tap of his wand to each, she found again she was unable to move them. Finally, he pulled her skirt up around her waist.
"You're going to be sorry for disappointing and embarrassing me very soon," he said, and she could hear his footsteps walking around the desk. She felt him leaning over her and heard the clink of metal against wood. She knew he'd picked the knife back up. As he walked back around the desk, Bellatrix was confident she knew his next move.
One hand slid her panties down a bit, gripping them in the middle and pulling them upwards. Then he slid the knife against the material, ripping them forcefully from her body. She cried out, but through the gag it was a pathetic sound. He laughed, audibly amused. One hand slid down between her legs and then he was laughing again. "Why am I not surprised that this is arousing you?" He grabbed her hair, pulling her head violently backwards. "Fucking slut." He let go of her. "Don't think that's going to escape you your punishment."
Bellatrix hated her body at that moment. It was truly betraying her; she felt absolutely nothing but revulsion for him. Her thoughts stilled as she heard the tell-tale noise of a belt unbuckling and suddenly understood what her punishment was.
"When this is over," Rodolphus said quietly from behind her, and she could hear him unlooping the belt from his trousers, "I will remove your gag and you will thank me, Bellatrix." She jumped as he slapped the belt on the desk. "If you do not thank me, I will assume you have not learnt your lesson and will repeat the whole thing over until you do thank me."
With her eyes closed and her face scrunched, Bellatrix awaited the first blow. After what seemed like forever, it came. It hurt, so much, but she wasn't ready to scream yet. Not for him. It was what he wanted. Several more blows came, each more agonising than the other. He stopped for a moment, and she could hear him inhale sharply. "Fine," she heard him murmur. The next impact was really hard, and she let out a cry muffled by the gag. A further few came in quick succession, each hitting the same place on her buttocks. She could feel tears pouring down her face and suddenly she couldn't stop crying out each time he hit her.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, he stopped. Bellatrix heard the belt getting dropped to the floor, and then she heard him unbutton his trousers. "No, please," she said through the gag – the only response was his laugh of amusement. He slammed himself into her without further ado. Bellatrix tensed, feeling more tears pouring down her face. He moved inside of her slowly for a bit, and Bellatrix wished that he wasn't causing her pleasure – but he was. He reached down and grabbed her hair, yanking her head back. He rested himself over her, crushing her against the desk.
"You reckon this is all over?" he asked, pumping slowly in and out of her. "I am going to disappoint you. It's only going to get worse." She felt something digging into her side, cold and pointy, and she realised it was his wand. "Crucio," he said, his voice cold.
Bellatrix screamed loudly through the gag. The pain was unimaginable. He pulled back, pounding in and out of her as she convulsed under his spell, still screaming. "Please, please," she could hear herself saying through each scream, feeling him fucking her deeply. All previous arousal was gone and she was absolutely relieved it had.
After what seemed like forever, the spell stopped. She realised Rodolphus had stopped moving above her, and she hoped he was done. After a moment, he withdrew from her, stepping around the desk and ripping the gag from her mouth. "What do you say, bitch?" he asked, grabbing her hair and forcing her to look up at him.
"Thank you," Bellatrix said weakly, her voice hoarse from screaming.
"Thank you, what?"
Bellatrix's clouded brain couldn't quite work it out instantly. He slapped her hard across the face. "Thank you, Master," she replied after a moment, hoping she'd chosen the right word.
"You're welcome," he said, his voice rough. "Clean my dick."
Hating him, Bellatrix licked his soft penis, hoping he wasn't going to get hard again.
"Kneel in front of me," his next order came, and Bellatrix was able to move her hands and feet again. Slowly, shaking, she dropped to the floor, crawling towards him and dropping her head in submission. "Kiss my feet."
Wishing she could kill him, Bellatrix bent forwards and kissed each of his bare feet, slowly and considerately to ensure he didn't make her do it again.
"Now get the fuck out of my sight, Bellatrix, and remember this next time you are in public."
Scrambling to her feet, Bellatrix rushed to the door of the study, sobbing loudly as she did. She could hear him laughing as she left the room. Blinded by tears, she headed to the bathroom where she set the shower to its hottest possible setting and stepped in.
She wanted to clean him from her. She hated him, she hated him so much.
x-x
Life was miserable. She'd stayed in bed since the incident, frantically casting contraception charms on herself. She desperately didn't want to get pregnant.
Even the Dark Lord hadn't called, in a week. She missed him terribly, but knew she was in no state to go and see him.
Rodolphus came into the bedroom. He'd stayed away from her mostly, occasionally coming to bed to sleep. She was too disgusted to touch him, so when he came to sleep she tried her hardest to stay awake, not trusting him.
"I've just seen the Dark Lord," he said, his voice sounding very pleased. Bellatrix opened her eyes, sitting up to look at him. "He agrees that it is best you no longer go out on raids with us."
Bellatrix bit her lip to stop herself from instantly crying. "Why?"
Rodolphus simply smirked. "He appreciates that a husband knows what is best for his wife." With that, he stood up, heading towards the door. "Don't wait up for me tonight."
An overwhelming sensation of anger coursed over her. Why did these stupid men think that they had any right to dictate to her, and tell her what she could and couldn't do?
She sat up, getting out of bed. She felt dizzy for a moment, but brushed the feeling off as she pulled on the first set of robes she could find. She flicked her wand at her hair, hoping to tame it, before looking into the mirror. She looked awful.
She found she didn't care.
Fleetingly, as she disapparated, she wondered if going to see the Dark Lord was the best idea in this state.
She entered his office, without bothering to knock. He didn't look up from his work. It wasn't until she slammed her hands on his desk that he looked at her in utmost surprise.
"How could you do this to me?" she shouted. He continued to stare at her. "You have betrayed me! After everything I have done for you!" She whirled around, swiping an armful of papers from his desk.
"Bellatrix…" he said, his voice slightly irritated.
"No!" Bellatrix snarled back. "I thought that you, of all people in my life, were the one that believed in my abilities, regardless of my gender."
Voldemort shook his head. "It's not like that. I do not doubt you at all, out of all of my followers you are by far the most accomplished."
"Then why have you done this to me?" she shouted at him.
"I didn't have a choice, Bellatrix," he replied, his voice calm. He hadn't even moved so far. "Your husband came to me. Whether either of us like it or not, he has a claim over you."
Bellatrix turned back to face him, feeling her eyes wet with tears. "You were meant to look after me," she said quietly, sniffing.
"I'm the Dark Lord, Bellatrix," he responded, his voice slightly cold. "You are not my priority."
She approached his desk once more, placing her palms flat against it, frowning for a moment. She realised that she was so much more frightened of her husband than she was of the Dark Lord.
"You've invested a lot of your time in me." She stared at him, wondering why she wasn't scared of him. "You trained me. You haven't trained anyone else."
He slowly stood up, and Bellatrix straightened, watching as he walked around the desk to come and face her. "If I had said no to him, what would have happened?"
"Bruises fade," she snapped back.
"Don't be so ridiculous," he replied, his voice slightly louder and angrier again. "Do you really think that I would allow Rodolphus to dictate to me?"
"You have," Bellatrix responded flatly.
"Stopping you from going out and fighting means that he will be busier." He moved closer to her. "It means that I will make it so."
Bellatrix was a little bit speechless. She looked up at him, into his red eyes and could feel the tears approaching again. Did he really mean to say that he'd turned this to her advantage? "You…"
He smiled at her, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder. "I could do with your opinion and your intelligence, much more than I need your wand. He won't ever need to know you're here, or if he does find out then I have ordered you here."
Feeling emotion washing over her, Bellatrix found herself throwing her arms around him, tears falling down her face now. It wasn't until a few moments later that she realised what she had done, and was about to pull away and apologise until she felt his arms close around her.
They stood together for longer than was appropriate. Bellatrix knew that. She was sure that he did too. Flirting and laughing was one thing... Harmless. But this? It was different. Slowly, painfully for Bellatrix, they parted. She looked up at him, seeing him smiling slightly.
"My Lord," she mumbled, suddenly shy again.
"You are my most loyal, Bellatrix. Everything you do is for me." He smirked. "Rodolphus has done the opposite of what he hoped for, even if he doesn't know it."
"What did he hope for?" Bellatrix asked.
"He is jealous of our relationship. He hates to think of you and I even having any resemblance of a relationship…" He trailed off, looking down at her. "You know I am not this close to anyone else. Not even Lucius." He pressed a kiss against her forehead. "You are very special to me, Bella. I hope you never forget that."
Bellatrix could feel the tears prickling at her eyelids, although she was happier this time. "You are very special to me, too, my Lord," she replied quietly after a moment. She looked into his red eyes, and he stared right back, smiling too. An expression of concern flickered on his face for a moment, and she was aware he'd probably seen that awful memory of hers. She took a step back, averting her gaze. "I should leave you... I am sorry for disturbing you like I did..."
"It's fine," he murmured in response, watching her move away. "Come and have a drink with me later this week, when you can. We have lots to discuss."
Looking up at him, Bellatrix felt a burst of emotion wash over her. She crossed the room to him, dropping down on both knees and kissing his robes. "Thank you, my Lord, Master," she said softly, biting her lip to stop her tears from flowing. "I am so grateful for your faith in me." She turned away from him as she stood, eager to hide her tears from him. She quietly left the room, glancing up at him for a split second as she shut the door.
He hadn't moved, and was staring down at the spot she'd just been kneeling in.
She rested against the door when it was firmly shut, realising that she was always happiest when she was with him.
Bellatrix hadn't been in love before. She wasn't sure, but the fact she never wanted to be away from him made her think that perhaps she was falling. She knew she should stay away, she knew having a drink with him was an awful idea... But she was addicted.
x-x
Later in the week, Bellatrix found herself outside of the door to his private rooms. Rodolphus was out, unsurprisingly. Doubt was in the front of her mind. What if Voldemort didn't really want her there, and the invitation had not been meant? She really didn't think she could cope with being turned away, she was an emotional timebomb.
Andromeda had chosen this moment to elope with her mudblood boyfriend. Bellatrix had chosen not to get involved in the process to removing her from the family, knowing it would infuriate Rodolphus and also knowing that she'd been bursting into tears near enough three times a day since... She couldn't think about it.
With a sigh, she knocked on the door. There was a long silence, and Bellatrix was about to retreat when the door opened.
She thought her heart may have stopped for a moment as she saw him. He was wearing nothing but tight black trousers once again. She stepped back, sighing lightly. "Merlin, I've got to stop coming up here when you're..." She stopped talking, unable to bring herself to say the word.
He laughed softly, taking her by the wrist and leading her inside. "You must never stop coming here, Bella," he replied, letting go of her and heading into his bedroom. "You can relax for a bit," she heard him say.
"Yes, Master," she heard a female voice reply.
Feeling sick, Bellatrix frowned as he came back towards her – this time making no attempt to get dressed. "You've initiated another woman, my Lord?" Bellatrix asked him, trying to sound casual but only hearing the jealousy in her voice.
Voldemort shook his head, snorting a laugh, leading her to sit down. He sat next to her, much closer than she remembered him sitting next to her before. "No definitely not, it's just a sex game." He smiled, reaching forwards and brushing hair from her face. "She has hair just like yours, Bella. I couldn't resist her."
Bellatrix didn't know if she should take that as a compliment or not. "Why is she calling you that?"
"She's a very eager and willing sex slave who knows her place." Voldemort stood up, heading over to the drinks cabinet and pouring two glasses of red wine. He handed one to Bellatrix. "Like you do, I am sure." He took a sip, and Bellatrix did the same, frowning over that. "Except, I don't believe you would if we were together. I think you'd shout at me and tell me to shut up."
"Why would you say that?" she asked, smirking at him. It was sweet he thought about what it would be like if they were together.
"Because you think it more often than you'd care to admit."
Bellatrix laughed. "You are still a man, unfortunately." She sipped her wine, looking over the top of the glass at him. She'd seen plenty of shirtless men in her life, none of which managed to pull it off like he did.
"That's not denial."
"No," Bellatrix replied, staring into his red eyes.
"Humour me," Voldemort said, his voice soft. "When have you wanted to tell me to shut up the most?"
Bellatrix laughed softly. "I never said I have wanted to."
"How about when you wanted to tell me to fuck off the most?" He was drawing her closer to him, his lips inches from hers.
"Every time you get this close," Bellatrix murmured, her eyes now fixed on his lips.
"Then why don't you?" he asked, his voice quiet.
"It would be a lie," she responded, feeling breathless. She swallowed hard, snapping herself out of it and moving away, taking a gulp of wine.
"When is this dance we have begun going to end?" Voldemort asked her, after a moment.
"I expect when I punch you in the face for kissing me, and you kill me," Bellatrix replied, laughing now.
"I would take a punch in the face for a kiss from you," he said, chuckling.
"Any woman would die for a moment of your attention," Bellatrix said, shaking her head. "You only want me because I say no all the time."
"No, I don't," Voldemort replied insistently. "I want you because you are perfection."
"And then I give myself to you, what then?" Bellatrix asked, feeling curious.
Voldemort smirked at her. "As many orgasms as you can cope with."
Bellatrix laughed. "Shut up, Marvolo," she said, grinning at him.
He laughed back, shaking his head at her. "My Bella, as brave as the bravest Gryffindor."
Feeling her stomach lurch as he called her his, Bellatrix smiled, sipping her wine. Voldemort leant forward, removing the glass from her hand and setting it down. He turned back to look at her. "My Lord," Bellatrix mumbled, seeing how close her was.
"Kiss me, this one time," he said softly, his lips now millimetres from hers. "That's an order."
"Marvolo..." She found she couldn't help herself. She had no idea if that actually was his name, but the thrill was too exciting to resist.
His hand was in her hair, pulling her head backwards. "You're pushing your luck," he said, but she could see the smirk of amusement on his lips. He released his hold on her, allowing her to move closer to him.
"You've got another woman in the next room," Bellatrix pointed out.
Voldemort pulled back, looking into her face as if to check if she was serious or not.
"I'm willing to bet my entire fortune that she's naked," she continued, tilting her head to one side.
He shook his head. "If I get rid of her…"
"Definitely not what I meant," Bellatrix said, smirking back. She leant forwards and pressed a kiss on his cheek, knowing she should leave him to it. "Goodnight, Master," she murmured, standing up.
"Bella…" She turned to look at him. "I'll get rid of her."
"Why?" She watched as he stood up, passing her the abandoned glass of wine.
"Because I'd rather spend the night talking to you than fucking some bimbo who has the same hair as you."
"Can you put some clothes on while you're at it?" Bellatrix asked. He smirked, approaching her.
"Is it off putting?"
Bellatrix reached out and pressed her hands against his chiselled abdominal muscles. "It's disgusting," she replied, smirking right back at him. "You're an arrogant fuck."
Voldemort laughed, moving back from her. "Is that the best you've got?" He continued to laugh as he headed into his bedroom. "I've got to kick you out," she heard him say. There were some murmured words from the female. "Why? Because I said so is why." There was some more muffled speaking before she heard the floo fire into life. Sighing lightly, Bellatrix sat back down, wondering why on earth she was staying.
A minute or so later, he appeared, wearing a crisp white button-down shirt. As he got closer, Bellatrix could see that the top four buttons had been left undone.
"That's so much better," she said, rolling her eyes at him.
"I know," he said, sitting back down next to her and picking up his own wine. He looked over at her. "You know, I was head boy at Hogwarts."
Bellatrix laughed. "I had no idea you were that way inclined."
He looked up at her in surprise, before his face relaxed into a smile and he shook his head at her. "I'm trying to point out that we would have slept in the same room as each other for a year," he said, shooting her a glare.
"Yes, very true," Bellatrix said, smiling at him. "Did you lose your virginity in that bed?"
Voldemort laughed again. "No," he said, grinning. "Why, did you?"
Bellatrix laughed. "Don't be stupid, I was a married woman in my last year."
"I know," he said, smirking. "Did your husband visit?"
"No," Bellatrix said, her smile dropping. "No, Dumbledore refused to allow him into the school because of his links to you." She looked down at her glass, remembering her first year of lonely marriage.
"Did you mind?"
Bellatrix looked up at him, seeing his expression serious. "I did… But now I don't."
"I bet you would have liked a visit from me." He was smirking again.
Laughing, Bellatrix shook her head. "You were scary back then."
"But not now?" he asked, one eyebrow raised inquisitively.
"Not now," Bellatrix responded, smiling at him. "Was that the right answer?"
Voldemort shrugged. "Honestly, with you… I'm not sure what the right answer is." He stood up, taking the bottle of wine and filling her glass.
"Will getting drunk help?"
"It depends in what way you mean," Voldemort replied with a smirk. "It will help in my quest to get you to spend the night with me, I imagine."
Bellatrix laughed again. "It's going to take more than some wine, I'm afraid."
"I know," Voldemort replied, looking sorrowful. "I can live in hope."
"Or you can live in a dream," Bellatrix replied, sitting back on the sofa, drinking her wine. "This is nice. It's nice to meet a fellow wine drinker."
"I spent a fair amount of time in France," he replied. "You can't help but learn about wine there."
Bellatrix nodded. "Why were you there?" She could see him visible pause to think, and she shook her head. "Sorry – no questions, I know."
Voldemort shook his head. "You can ask me anything, Bella," he said quietly, looking up at her. "And I will answer, if I can." He hesitated slightly. "I trust you."
Bellatrix smiled up at him. "Wow," she said, knowing he'd probably never said that to anyone before. "Thank you."
He nodded, smiling slightly at her. "I have done a lot of travelling. I thought it important to find out how people in other countries feel about the issues we have here. I also wanted to ensure I had accessed all of the magic I could."
Bellatrix nodded. "You'd been away just before my wedding as well as last year."
"Last time was different," Voldemort said, considering. "I performed some fairly... evasive... magic on myself and needed to be tucked away in secret."
"I heard some rumours that you have become immortal," she said, in a whisper.
Voldemort looked at her, before laughing slightly. "I discovered the secret of immortality at the age of sixteen," he said, smirking. "Yes, I have that knowledge, and I have applied it. A long time ago."
Bellatrix shook her head. "But you're so-" She stopped herself, before she could say it.
"So what?" he asked, his smirk widening.
"I'm not saying it!" she replied, rolling her eyes. "You're obviously hearing it a lot, every time I see you you're fucking another mindless harlot."
"True," Voldemort said, smirking again. "But I've only shared my immortality secret with one person, so maybe you're the only one with an opinion that counts."
"Or maybe," Bellatrix said, pausing to sip on her wine. "You're trying to manipulate me into saying something."
"I think..." He shifted closer to her. "That you think I am gorgeous."
"I was actually going to say that you're so old looking, I don't see how you could be immortal," Bellatrix replied, smiling sweetly at him. "But I stopped myself, because you're the Dark Lord and I don't want to piss you off."
Voldemort laughed. "Oh Bella, please don't try and lie to me. You know better."
Bellatrix sighed, finishing her wine. She reached for the bottle, emptying into her glass. "I'm assuming you've got more?" she asked, setting the bottle down.
"Only if you tell me the truth."
"Fine!" Bellatrix said in defeat, turning to face him. Her stomach flipped as she caught sight of his intense red gaze. "I think you're fucking gorgeous."
He smirked. "Thanks."
She shook her head, sighing lightly. "You know exactly what I think."
"Yes but I like to hear it, I've told you this before." He stood up, heading to a cupboard. Bellatrix could see it was filled wine racks. She smiled a little, desperate to drink them all with him. He came back over with a bottle, setting it down on the table while he fiddled with the opening. "Lucius mentioned what had happened with your sister to me."
Bellatrix sighed again. "Of course, he did," she muttered.
"It's probably for the best." He turned the corkscrew into the cork.
"Probably," Bellatrix replied, watching as he popped the cork from the bottle. "You know that there's a spell for that?"
Voldemort shook his head at her. "Some things are more satisfying to do by hand." He smiled, looking up at her with a wink. Then his face became serious again. "You know I will have to order they are found and..." He didn't say the word, but Bellatrix understood.
"I know," she replied, taking another gulp of her wine. "But it's fine, no more raids for me."
There was a silence in the room for a moment or so. Bellatrix finished the glass of wine in two gulps, putting it down on the table beside his. He silently poured her a glass, before filling his up too. "I am... aware..." Voldemort paused, apparently searching for the words. "That something... happened."
Bellatrix looked up at him. "My Lord?" she asked softly, really hoping he wasn't about to bring that up.
"Rodolphus hurt you," Voldemort said finally. "It was vividly in his memories, and... Bella, it was clear to me the other day, when you came to me so angry..."
"He's my husband, it's his right," Bellatrix said in reply, feeling the tears brewing in her eyes again.
Voldemort gripped her hand in his. "If you say so," he responded, his voice slightly cold. "I just wanted to be clear – you can come here whenever you want, night or day, if you need my help."
Bellatrix looked down at her hand in his, and it felt so right. She inhaled sharply. "You don't mean that," she said, pulling her hand away.
"I do," he replied, his voice level and calm. "I had a night of dark sexual fantasies coming true planned for this evening, and I got rid of the slut so that I could spend the evening talking to you."
"Why?" Bellatrix asked, frowning slightly.
"Because you're important," Voldemort responded, his tone slightly less patient.
Bellatrix considered for a moment. He was making a fair point, she just couldn't quite understand why he would do that and what made her so important to him. "Thank you," she said, hastily.
"The male Lestrange's have a history of this sort of behaviour."
Bellatrix shook her head. "Rabastan is just an idiot."
"I didn't mean Rabastan," he said quietly, shaking his head. "I meant their father."
She had been wondering about her in-laws for a long time now, and had never dared to ask. "Do I want to know?" she said softly, looking into his face.
"You should know what you're dealing with," he replied after a moment. "Their father killed their mother. Rodolphus saw it, he was very young."
Bellatrix gasped. "It's awful," she murmured. She looked back into his eyes, knowing she wasn't as shocked as she should be. "And yet… I am unable to be surprised."
"The surprising part is that he killed himself after he'd done the deed." Voldemort shook his head. "I get the impression that he was… that there was a significant amount of inbreeding among French pure bloods, and your mother-in-law was the first outside of that pool that a Lestrange had married in a long time."
Bellatrix took a few long sips of wine. She set the glass down, sighing heavily. "Thank you for telling me," she said after a moment. "I've always been too afraid to ask him what happened to them."
"Why do you stay?" Voldemort asked quietly.
She looked away from him, shaking her head. "They will never speak to Andromeda again after her elopement."
"If you found a more suitable husband?"
Bellatrix could hear a slight tone of hope in his voice. She frowned, looking up at him. "By tradition, I would still be disowned." She could see the look of confusion on his face. She knew he didn't understand. "I know you don't get it."
"I don't," he replied shortly. "I've never allowed anything to stop me from my desires."
"It's different for a man."
Voldemort nodded. "It is, I agree." He reached for her hand, bringing to his lips and pressing a kiss against her knuckles. His eyes didn't leave hers. "Our conversation has reached a serious point."
Bellatrix smiled, picking up her wine and sipping it again. "What did your night of darkest fantasies entail?" she asked, smirking at him.
"Ahh!" He picked up his wine, taking a sip. "Well, Madam Lestrange. That's a curious question from a married woman."
Bellatrix laughed. "Are you worried about offending me?"
"Absolutely not," Voldemort responded, his tone amused. "It was just going to be some rough sex, nothing too bad to worry your pretty head about."
With a frown, Bellatrix whacked him on the arm. He looked shocked. "Don't patronise me."
"That has literally never happened to me," Voldemort said after a moment.
"Explains a lot," she replied, grinning. He smiled back. "I should be going," she said after a moment.
"Alright," he replied, standing with her. His tone didn't quite match his word.
"Thank you for the wine," she continued, feeling slightly awkward.
"It's nice to drink it with someone who appreciates it," Voldemort said, smirking. "Otherwise it's wasted."
There was silence as they stared at each other. Bellatrix didn't understand why it felt so awkward, until she realised it was because she didn't want to leave him. At that moment, she got it. Something clicked in her head.
She was in love with him.
In an attempt to hide her expression and thoughts from him, she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "I've had a lovely evening," she said, feeling his arms close around her too. "Thank you." She pulled back, carefully not looking at him. "See you soon."
As she headed to the door, Voldemort spoke again. "Come back soon," he said, very quietly.
Bellatrix glanced up at him as she left. She smiled, wishing she didn't have to leave – But she knew she must. Regretfully, she closed the door behind her. She knew she was going home to an empty house. Things with the Dark Lord were getting a little bit too... real. The realisation that she was in love with him was a terrifying one, but as she considered it, she knew it was true.
That thought scared her.
x-x
The Dark Lord had invited all of his followers to a new year party at his house. Bellatrix was nervous about going to the event, as Rodolphus was usually awful to be around when the Dark Lord was present.
He wasn't interested in what she wore. Bellatrix was quite pleased about that, and after a great deal of thought she'd decided to wear Gryffindor red. She was certain that would draw Voldemort's attention. The dress, bought by Rodolphus, was beautiful – a lace and velvet top with a full skirt trailing behind her. She made sure to pair it with some gold jewellery. Rodolphus was completely clueless about all things Hogwarts, and to him it would look like a Christmas themed dress.
They arrived at the party slightly late, followed of course by Rabastan who was quite clearly irritated by her presence. She wished she could just punch him in the face. She definitely had every right to attend, much more than any wives or girlfriends that were coming along. All of their friends were waiting for them, and as usual they mostly ignored her, apart from to stare at her in a manner she definitely did not like.
Narcissa and Lucius were attending a Ministry event. She was definitely going to miss her sister tonight, and she had no idea where Evan was. This left her slightly lonely.
Then she noticed the Dark Lord appear. She made a study of her drink, and then pretended to look interested in the conversation. However, her heart was thudding. He was going to be very surprised when he saw her attire, and suddenly she regretted wearing it.
Bellatrix looked down to the floor as he finally approached. She didn't want to catch his gaze because she knew Rodolphus would be annoyed.
"Good evening, gentlemen," he said. "I trust last night proved to be successful?"
Bellatrix felt slightly sick. She hated not knowing what was going on, and as far as she knew last night had been one of Rodolphus's usual drinking outings.
She could see Rabastan smirking. "We had fun, my Lord."
"I am pleased to hear it," Voldemort replied. "Lucius will be pleased too."
"The Ministry will improve," Rodolphus said firmly. "With our efforts."
"We can only hope so," Voldemort replied, smiling slightly. "Rodolphus, I hope I may borrow your wife for this next dance?"
Bellatrix looked up, shrugging as Rodolphus looked over at her. "Whatever you like," she said, deliberately keeping her voice cold and bland.
Rodolphus nodded at her. "Of course, my Lord," he responded a moment later.
Voldemort offered her his hand. Smiling coolly, Bellatrix accepted it and he led them away from the group, to the middle of the busy dance floor.
He clasped one hand and put his other around her waist. "Forgive me for ignoring you," he said as they started to move to the music.
Bellatrix was surprised, but hid it on her face. He would know what she was thinking. "Of course."
"You understand why I do? To protect you?" he pressed her.
"There's really no need," Bellatrix replied softly. "I can handle him."
Voldemort laughed softly. "If you say so." He released his hold on her and spun her around, before drawing her back in. Bellatrix was very aware of her husband's gaze on them. "Nice dress," he said, carefully not looking at her.
"I wore it for you," she replied softly, trying to hide her smile. "I know these are your favourite colours."
"Normally I would be most offended by that," Voldemort said, looking back at her now. "But on you, red and gold might just be my favourite colours."
The flirting was too much for her, she knew her face would give it away. She turned to a subject guaranteed to make her feel miserable. "What happened last night?" she asked, wishing she could have gone.
"Just the murder of a ministry official, nothing exciting," he responded, smiling at her slightly. Bellatrix felt her stomach drop, he was so gorgeous. "This way is better, you know that."
Bellatrix nodded. "It feels wrong." She looked up at him, cautiously, as he led them to the music.
He caught her gaze. "Does it?" he asked, his tone and face serious.
Bellatrix was half relieved and half heart broken when the music finished and he let go of her. Slowly, she curtseyed to him, noticing his gaze returning to a cool one again. He nodded to her, before he turned and walked away. Swallowing, Bellatrix turned back to Rodolphus.
He ignored her as she reached his side, and continued talking. For what seemed like forever, they conversed and laughed, and Bellatrix didn't have the knowledge or the inclination to join in with them. None of the other women at these events ever wanted to speak to her, because she was one of them and not a wife. She suspected that they were afraid of her.
Every so often, she would see the Dark Lord looking at her. It was horrible being in the same room as him, but not being near him or able to talk. She drifted off into her own thoughts, considering what it would be like to be his wife. She wouldn't leave his side at all, she would stay with him and dance with him and have a wonderful time.
"So, shall we head to the pub?" she heard Rabastan say.
Bellatrix jumped, looking at Rodolphus. "Yes," Rodolphus replied, ignoring her. "Knockturn Ally?" All the group of men agreed, before dispersing to leave. Rodolphus finally looked at her. "You can't come to the pub looking like that," he said, his tone mocking. "Stay here, or go home. Choice is yours, but none of your friends are here." He smirked, turning around and leaving the room.
Bellatrix watched as he left. She was determined she was going to stay and have a nice time, regardless of her stupid husband. Sighing lightly, she turned and headed to the bar, grabbing a glass of red wine. Slowly, she sat down on the empty table just next to it, trying to keep her expression disinterested as she sipped the drink. She knew Rodolphus would never change, he didn't appear to have the capacity to fall in love with her - no matter what she tried.
Not so long after she'd sat down, the Dark Lord appeared. Bellatrix knew what he was after, she knew why he always was there whenever Rodolphus was not. She didn't think she minded the attention, even though there was no way she was ever going to give in to him.
"Gone already?" he asked, smirking. He reached over and picked up a glass of wine, before sitting down next to her.
"Yes," she replied simply, not needing to elaborate.
"Want to dance again?" he said, his tone neutral.
Bellatrix looked over at him. "Not really," she responded, her voice soft. "People report to him about what I do."
Voldemort tilted his head in consideration for a moment, before nodding. "Yes, alright," he said. "Although, it's just a dance."
"With the most beautiful man ever created," Bellatrix retorted quietly. She caught sight of him and noticed that he was smiling, very slightly, in a way she'd never seen him smile before.
"Is that really what you think about me?" he asked, his voice slightly cautious.
Bellatrix laughed lightly. "You know very well it is, my Lord."
They sat in silence, drinking their wine. Bellatrix could see Evan across the room, and she was glad he had arrived. "You know, no one else will dance with me," Voldemort said, after a while. "They're too scared."
"Why do you think that is?" Bellatrix replied, smirking at him.
"Why aren't you scared?" he asked, frowning slightly.
"You've never given me reason to be." She looked at him across her glass. "I know about fear."
Voldemort was staring at her. "What about when I was teaching you? The Cruciatus Curse?"
Bellatrix grinned at him. "But you weren't angry with me, you were helping me." She finished her glass of wine. "Am I offending you by not being scared?"
He laughed suddenly. "No, Bella. You interest me, is all." He raised his hand, and Bellatrix watched as another glass soared towards him and into his open hand. He set the drink down in front of her. "I know most of your thoughts but still..." He shook his head. "I don't understand you."
Bellatrix smiled. "That's okay, my Lord," she said, sipping the wine. "I don't understand you either."
She could see him opening his mouth to reply, when Evan appeared. "Evening!" he said, chirpily. "Lestrange gone already then?"
"He's a creature of habit," Bellatrix responded, standing up and hugging her cousin. "Glad you could finally make it."
Evan sat down on Voldemort's other side. "My Lord," he said softly. "Are you looking after my cousin?"
"She doesn't need to be looked after," Voldemort said, smirking as Bellatrix sat down. "Are we going out after this party, then?"
Evan shrugged. "We might bump into Lestrange."
"We could stay here, then. Lucius was going to come after his Ministry event had finished."
"Alright." Evan looked around the room. "I'll gather the troops, see you up there?"
"Yes," Voldemort replied quietly. He was silent for a while. "Will you be joining us?"
Bellatrix looked across to him. "Yes, please," she responded softly. "Rodolphus won't be home until morning."
"You could stay out all night too," he said, smirking at her, the implication clear in his voice as he stood up.
Laughing, Bellatrix stood with him, but she didn't reply. Slowly, she followed him from the room, glad that everyone was visibly quite drunk and were hopefully not going to notice. She noticed Voldemort flicking his wand towards a man she didn't know and a pale spell hit him. "Unlike you to be so quiet with your punishments, my Lord," she said, as they headed up the stairs.
He glared at her slightly. "Just a quick obliviate to save your delicate skin," he replied. "Honestly, Bella, you could beat him hands down in a duel." Bellatrix ignored his comment. She was glad she was feeling drunk, it meant she could treat him like anyone else without worry. They reached his rooms, and he held the door open for her to enter. "I've got an amazing bottle of pinot noir, want some?"
"Yes, please," Bellatrix replied, watching as he poured two glasses. Slowly, he walked towards her with them, handing one to her. They tapped glasses, their eyes meeting as they did. She took a sip, enjoying the flavour. "Lovely," she responded, although she couldn't quite decide if she was referring to the wine or to his eyes.
"It is," Voldemort replied, and again, Bellatrix wasn't sure what he was referring to. He reached out and removed the glass from her hand, setting it down on the side table. With a raise of his hand, slow classical music filled the room. "Perhaps you will dance with me here, without fear."
Bellatrix wished she had the strength to resist him, but she found that she could not. She looked down at his outstretched hand, and with a nod she stepped towards him and took it. His grip around her waist was tighter this time, and he was squeezing her hand. Very slowly, they moved to the music. Bellatrix inhaled, and his wonderful scent filled her nostrils. She sighed, very quietly, and leant her head on his shoulder. She could easily have stayed like that with him forever, he felt so right against her and he made her feel so calm.
There were footsteps, and then the door opened. Bellatrix pulled back from the Dark Lord, looking wide eyed towards the door. Lucius was looking between them, his eyes slightly narrowed. She looked to Voldemort, and he looked back into her eyes, a frown on his face. "Lucius," he said, slowly.
"My Lord," Lucius replied, nodding slightly. "Bellatrix." There were more footsteps, and Evan and Selwyn clattered drunkenly into the room.
Bellatrix withdrew hastily, moving towards the drinks cabinet. She opened the door, staring into it. Voldemort was by her side after a moment. "I'm sorry," he murmured, pulling a bottle of wine out. Feeling surprised at this apology, Bellatrix nodded, pulling out some glasses.
When each glass was nicely filled and distributed, Bellatrix sat down on the sofa next to Evan. Voldemort sat down opposite her, and she knew he was staring at her even though she wasn't looking. Instead, she surveyed the red liquid in front of her, hardly listening to Evan's banter.
"How was the Ministry do, Lucius?" Voldemort asked.
Lucius rolled his eyes. "Dull. I ended up sat next to the Minister all night. He is the world's most boring man."
Voldemort laughed softly, and Bellatrix managed a smile. "How is Narcissa?" she asked after a moment. "I've missed her tonight."
Lucius nodded. "She is well, thank you. As you know, she's not a fan of a late night. We have another function to attend tomorrow too."
"Anything exciting?" Voldemort asked, sipping on his wine.
"A charity event for St Mungo's. I shall have to pretend to be charitable for the day." He sighed lightly. "My wife likes such events."
Bellatrix laughed. "Narcissa is too kind for this world."
"Did she tell you she has adopted another white peacock?" Lucius asked over his wine glass.
"No," Bellatrix said, laughing harder. Narcissa had fallen in love with a white peacock she'd seen, insisting it could happily live in their grounds with minimal input. Since Abraxas Malfoy had died earlier last year, she'd been trying to make the manor her own.
"The other one was lonely, apparently," Lucius replied, shaking his head. Voldemort snorted, and Bellatrix continued to laugh. Evan and Selwyn had helped themselves to large shots of firewhiskey.
They talked light heartedly for the next hour or so. Bellatrix had drunk a fair amount of wine by the time Lucius left, citing the need to kiss his wife at midnight, and even more so by the time Evan and Selwyn left, citing the need to find women to kiss at midnight.
Things were a bit awkward suddenly. Bellatrix was staring at her glass, and Voldemort was staring at her. Then he set his wand down on the table. "It'll spark when it turns midnight," he said.
Bellatrix nodded. "Only five minutes."
"Dance with me again," he said, draining his glass.
Bellatrix jumped, looking up at him. "I'm very drunk," she replied, sniggering. "I will fall over."
"I'll lead," he said, smirking at her, standing up and offering his hand. Knowing she shouldn't, but unable to resist, Bellatrix took his hand and stood up. He held her tightly. "See, no falling over."
Laughing, she moved with him, holding onto his neck. "You're so pretty," she said, looking into his eyes. "My dress matches your eye colour."
"It does," Voldemort replied, smiling at her. "It's beautiful. You're beautiful." The wand on the table let off a plume of green sparks. They both stared at it for a moment, before looking back at each other. "Happy new year," he said slowly.
"Happy..." She trailed off, her eyes fixed on his lips. It was midnight at new year. She was in love with him. She didn't need to consider the rest.
Their lips met. The kiss was the most beautiful thing Bellatrix had ever imagined. It felt like time had stopped, his arm was tight around her waist and her hand was in his hair and it was just perfect. His lips were soft and full, and Merlin so kissable. She knew she couldn't be wrong, he was the one for her. He was the one.
It wasn't until they parted that reality set in. She pressed her hand to her lips, gasping. "Oh, my Lord... I'm so sorry," she said, and in her head the words made sense.
"No, don't be sorry," Voldemort replied, holding her hands. "No, Bella."
"I have to go," she said hastily. "I have to go." She pulled away from him, running towards the door, suddenly sober. "I can't... I can't do this..."
"Bella!" he called.
"Please!" she cried, turning to face him as she reached the door. "Forget this happened!"
She fled the room, pulling the door tightly closed behind her. She ran down the hall, down the stairs, out of his perfect house, disapparating as quickly as she could.
The tears were falling down her face.
When she got home, she flung herself on the bed, without bothering to undress.
That night, she cried herself to sleep.