Chapter 14: Alone
"I am the vampire of my own heart"—Charles Baudelaire, the Vampire
The car whirled around the Sunshine Mansion when it was around 1 in the morning. Knov carried Aoi's luggage as Aoi numbly traced her feet towards the hall. Knov gently placed a hand on Aoi's shoulder to comfort her and Aoi jerked it off.
"Don't touch me..." she looked at her father with bloodshot eyes. She had been silently crying all her way.
"Aoi-chan... tell me what's wrong?" Knov asked more gently, although he was thrown off quite a bit.
The door opened before she could knock. Aoi could not see who was inside, except a gaunt shadow of a face. Before Aoi could make out his face, he slowly dissolved in the dark. It must have been Illumi or Leorio, judging by the time; they sleep after everyone else, and Illumi is personally in charge of closing the door. Aoi did not respond to the person, and led her feet upstairs.
'I could stay the night in... Aoi, I know what you are going through... Sweetheart let me help you!' Knov implored gently as Aoi reached the door, "papa, I need you to stay out of this..."
"but... you are my daughter! How can I stay away from this when you ran away from home without any reason... Aoi, is there something wrong?" Aoi tried to close the door on her father, but he stopped her, and slithered inside her room, and lit up the dim light in the nightstand. The sandstone coloured room filled up with a ghostly pallor.
"Wrong? " Aoi plopped on her bed, "wrong, papa? I don't know what to say to you." Knov could not understand the heat in Aoi's voice, neither could she, "no... What could be wrong? I live in the richest home in the entire nation, they treat me like princess, maybe too princess-like, and I don't even understand what is going on with me anymore..."
"Sweetheart... what are you talking about?" Knov's voice suddenly darkened, "sweetheart, I know what Menchi means to you, yes she is a good girl, but quarrelling with your step-family and running away is not okay... you put so many people into worry... Illumi called me up and said you were upset, and they called the police... they said you looked disturbed—and that's very improper of you to put others in distress-"
"Distress? Me, putting them in distress?" Aoi's voice rose, and suddenly she dropped her voice, "papa, they told you nothing?"
"Aoi-chan, you are starting to worry me... what happened that you can't tell me." Knov shook his daughter's shoulder, but suddenly moved his hands away. His daughter's pale, distressed face certainly put the worst of fears in him.
"I am not sure I can tell you..." she looked at the side and her face was pale and gaunt, "I am sure you know more about this family than me... and if you know, anything... believe me, I have done everything to shut it out, but it isn't happening anymore."
Aoi started to cry, and told her side of the narrative, Knov stood up from the chair and hugged her tightly.
"My baby... I am so sorry... I never knew so much... even Palm didn't—THOSE BASTARDS." Aoi could feel Knov was shaking in anger, "why didn't you tell me before?"
"How could I... I didn't even believe it myself! Dad, can you please let arrange something for me... I can't stay here anymore—what if, they—do something..." Aoi started to cry again in her father's arms, "tell them anything... but not here..."
"Alright sweetheart... I will do whatever I can... I am so sorry..." Knov kissed her forehead and laid her in bed. "Sleep tight... I will arrange something soon."
Knov closed the door behind him and walked slowly out on the landing. He avoided the creak of door he heard nearby, but had to look up, as he saw the pale silhouette behind him, looking at him sharply.
"Knov-san... is Aoi okay?" Killua asked him slowly.
"For now yes... " Knov answered curtly, "and thank you for telling me where she was."
"I didn't want to tell it to Lolo-nii-san." Killua was going into his room, but Knov decided to climb one stair up, and tapped in his shoulder.
"Killua-kun... may I talk to you for a second?" Knov asked politely, Killua looked a little surprised but he gained his composure soon, "sure Knov-san..."
"Is she all right?"
Killua did not answer, but hung his face with dismay, and with a sombre quietness, answered "I don't know Knov-san; we don't talk much." Killua slowly bid Knov goodnight and shut the door.
The night seemed awfully quiet as Knov left. Killua was standing behind his door, while his nightstand emitted a dull white light all over his lilac coloured room. He quietly opened the door and came out on the corridor; he stared up towards Aoi's room. He would never admit to himself that he did it. He slowly counted his steps down, as quietly as possible, and found his way to the kitchen. Millions of thoughts swarmed in his mind, he could not block all of them. He tried to have a sip of his cold almond-saffron milk and leave the kitchen, but his conscience did not allow him. He hastily rummaged the cupboards and fridges, but being these many people family, there was hardly any leftover. He leaned against the kitchen counter, and then it hit him.
He grabbed some instant noodles from third shelf, and poured in some water and pressed the two minute timer in the microwave. It was not much, and he wished he could whip something up, but he couldn't. The instant noodles he grabbed were from Feitan's stash, and he had to rearrange the whole situation, so that he won't find out who took his ramen.
As the noodles where whirring in the microwave, he heard footsteps coming towards him, and hastily he went to cover the micro and dim the countertop light, but it was too late; turns out Feitan did found out what was going on.
"What the hell you're doing in the kitchen at this hour?" Feitan frowned sleepily. He was in his black dressing gown and magenta pyjama, and it looked as if he just woke up from the sleep.
"Nothing... just—midnight snacks!" Killua scrambles around to cover up.
"It's way past your bedtime... go to sleep... or the old mum will come to whoop your ass." Feitan slurred, as he scratched his head, but suddenly he tilted his head to the sound of the oven's timer "is that my instant ramen?" Feitan frowned, and with suspicion added "since when you developed tongue for spices?"
"I just want to have a taste—I was going to tell you-"
Feitan came near Killua, and grabbed his shoulder "there's no way in hell that will ever go down your throat—tell me the truth if you want to see the light of day again", he firmly pressed Killua's slouched shoulderblade.
"Aoi's home Fei-nii... Knov-san brought her back, while everyone was asleep." Killua huffed the truth out and started to tend the noodles, "she probably will be hungry, and didn't eat so I thought-"
"—my favourite ramen will cheer her up, of all the high-end things in the kitchen...?" Feitan added with a bit of venom. Killua looked at Feitan's face with half anger and half surprise, "there is a limit to selfishness and shamelessness, Fei-nii. This is low even for you." Killua grabbed the noodles and pushed Feitan away from his way.
"I wasn't jerking you around Killu..." Feitan added quietly, "who do you think opened the door for them?" Killua turned his head towards Feitan. The dim light at the back made his silhouette shadowy and there was no way of knowing his expression; "I was wrong about her... about everything. Pokkle told me everything—she is not happy here."
Killua remained quiet and looked at his face intently. "She is no different than us... isolated, hated, misunderstood even by our parents. But she is not us Killu, she is far good to be in this situation. I don't like how she is being treated here. I wish she would leave as soon as she can, before it's too late." Feitain turned off the light, and started to walk away.
"Fei-nii, what happened two years ago, wasn't your fault-" Killua blurted out, but no answer came. So he took it as his cue to leave.
Aoi was lying on her bed; she didn't bother to change her clothes. She was in the same sweats she got from Menchi's house. The cellphone beeped every minute, warning for missed calls and texts, but she didn't look at them. She curled up on her sides, every time she tried to breathe, tears jerked from her eyes. And suddenly, when it was nearly two am, she heard a knock in her door.
She slowly went to open the door, and saw no one. Annoyed and disappointed, when she turned on her heels to shut the door, something brightly coloured caught her eyes; a cup of steaming instant noodles.
Even with her overwhelming confusion, rage and sadness, she couldn't help but to smile, as she bent down to pick up the hot up. She stepped out on the corridor, looking to her left and right to find anyone, but she found no one. The house was dark, and the only light in the darkness was the streetlights outside, coming through as dulled and purplish through the curtains. She didn't think to look down, if she did, she would have found two eyes looking up at her way, hiding behind his curtain of dark hair and razor slit eyes. Feitan tried not to move too much lest he gives himself away, he started to walk towards the couch after Aoi shut the door.
Feitan in the meanwhile sat in the dark, quietly and lifelessly. He tried to recall everything that happened just after Aoi left. That broken face of hers had hit him like a physical blow, and the moment he stepped inside the door, he could feel the fathomless chill in the atmosphere of the living room.
The trio didn't even acknowledged Feitan's entry, but started to make random calls. Not to the police or the coroners but to Aoi's father and their mother. Basically they tried to rat the girl out; but there was one thing Feitan did understood and it shook him to the core; they exactly behaved like it happened two years ago. He made his exit immediately to his room and was summoned by the "holy trinity" when their mother arrived two hours after, along with Knov.
Palm was the truest sister of Kikyo and was well known for her hissy fits. At first when she arrived at the house, she didn't even bother to greet, but angrily threw her long sheet of black hair around and started to fan herself. Feitan, along with Milluki and Killua was extremely uncomfortable with their mother's behaviour. Only he knew it was all a horrible aftershock of everything that happened with her over the time. After a long fuss about the interruption of her mid-week facials, wrinkles, detox, she finally decided that Aoi was an 'ungrateful wench' and she must be taught a lesson about loose-talking about her family in public. Although she decided to cover everything up, but her outburst still didn't make any sense. He almost felt pity for Palm; he knew it was all about all her secrets getting out in the world; but there one thing he didn't understand—from the moment Aoi stepped in the house, Palm and Knov and the great three had quite been a hush-hush about things. He understood that the secret of the Hunter Corporation must be guarded in an iron sarcophagus with ever vigilant eyes; but it is easy for them to call the media and shut everyone's mouth with bills. But they are so panicked over such things that it almost made Feitan laugh. But as a Michelin Star Hunter herself, Palm must know something that none of the younger brother knows.
The thought itself consumed him out of sleep. He slowly smiled and leaned his head on the couch; he understood Aoi now more than ever—she was an interesting character: she seemed like some monster in a human skin and she doesn't even realise it. He is tolerated too in the house, and as soon as his studies are over he will be cast off under this roof—he didn't care. But she was different—people pampered her and wished she was scared of them instead they of her. This was more interesting than his Criminology Dissertation.
The morning came unceremoniously in the Matsuhashi house. The brothers joined the others in a cosy Saturday breakfast; that meant everyone was home today. Illumi's deadpan face belied every single 'emotions' inside him; but Chrollo sported a grimace and Hisoka smiled almost shamelessly as he cut through his bacon. Kurapika and Shalnark looked at each other, too tensed to speak. Killua looked like he was going to murder someone, but a glance in Feitan's way calmed him considerably. Gon, being the youngest of all, could not read the situation and asked the most dreaded question.
"Where is Aoi-san?" he asked Chrollo rather curiously, and as if the whole table stopped. Feitan noticed Chrollo's knuckles getting pale—it amused him greatly, and he thought it even funnier when Chrollo tried to control himself.
"Aoi-san... has gone for a school trip-" Feitan suppressed a laugh, knowing what was coming.
"No she isn't... Killua is here, you are here." Gon asked rather innocently, Feitan thought, and it was especially disarming for a scathing enquiry "and I saw her room alit last night, so where did she go Lolo-nii-san?"
Chrollo placed his cutlery slowly on the table and looked at Gon's way, "that's—when?"
"At 3 AM... she was crying. I even went to her room to hear if everything's all right, but didn't." Gon finished up, as the other brothers looked confusingly at each other, "I think I should go check up on her-"
"No..." Chrollo almost shouted, but looked around him, "I will go on her. I want to see your English homework within an hour". Chrollo almost hastily left the table with a plate of food, which Feitan thought was a great cover for him. However, he missed how Killua's face drained colour. He mumbles something about going to the toilet, but in reality what he did was he dialled the landphone to Aoi's mobile.
Aoi was still asleep when her phone rang. Forgetting that she wasn't suppose to pick up the phone, but her eyes shot open when she heard the other end of the voice calling.
"Don't answer me, and don't ever open the door. Chrollo-ni-san knows..."
The phone was cut as hastily as it came. Aoi almost startled to death when the door started to knock very loudly. At first she almost followed the instruction, but at the next moment she thought that it was idiotic to hide, so with a false bravado, she pulled the door aghast. Chrollo was standing on the door; his face was unreadable.
"Aoi-chan..." Chrollo spoke lifelessly like he was a ventriloquist's doll "I thought-"
Aoi looked down at his hand, "oh you brought breakfast Chrollo-nii, how nice?" she took the plate and placed it on her nightstand, Chrollo was even more dumbfounded than he was earlier, "I thought you left us for good..." he mumbled rather unassuredly.
"This is my home isn't it?" Aoi spoke coolly, "after all, the things you have done for me since I came to live here; it was wrong of me to run away." Aoi said emotionlessly, and she knew Killua was listening to her, "after a night in, I just cleared my head and realised that I was wrong." With that word, she knew Chrollo was flabbergasted enough to leave her alone and she was right: he was.
"I am so sorry Chrollo-san..." said Aoi with a little more emotion, and she was fighting her best not to break down in the tears of anger and betrayal. But she channelled it well to a coquettish, almost feign sound of guilt. Killua could not handle it anymore; he started to move away from the lower landing and descended towards the drawing room where one can clearly see the rellinged corridor. For the last moment, Killua thought to cast a cold piercing glare towards Aoi and Chrollo hugging each other, being buddy-buddy with each other. But his eyes met something else.
A cold, frightening pair of pale green eyes was peering from Chrollo's shoulder.
...
Chrollo had a lot of feelings going inside. He couldn't focus on his thesis, and leaving his books aghast he went towards his wardrobe and took out his Stradivarius. He didn't play since the Rehearsal dinner, and with that agitation in mind, it was only his violin to which he could counsel. He knew he won't be in the best of forms, but it didn't matter, he lightly bowed the strings as he started to play Gabriel Faure's Sicillienne. The robust sound resonated throughout the ground floor. Aoi who was finished eating and came down to place her plate stopped in her action and stood still inside the kitchen. It was indeed exquisite, and she could not feel any hint of the feelings he expressed in Rehearsal dinner. She couldn't help but to admire him. She almost had an urge to complement him, but she restrained herself.
Meanwhile Killua, who was already upstairs, opened his door, and followed the Sicillienne to Chrollo's room, adjacent to the library, watching his oldest brother play. When he was a little boy, he used to love Chrollo's violin. He dolefully remembered how Chrollo would play this very melody to sleep. His hair was all messed up from his grad school studies, he had dark circle, but yet he would play for him. And then everything changed.
"Killu..." Chrollo stopped playing and answered without turning his back on him, Killua stood still on the door pane, leaning on the wall. He observed Chrollo's back, as he gently put his Stradivarius on the bed, "dad got me this on my 16th birthday. I haven't forgotten the feeling ever since... You might have forgotten, since you were so small that time-"
"That you used to play this piece at my bedtime?" Killua walked in slowly and sat near his bookshelf, "Oboite nai yo... sono ongaku wa ore no hajimete no kiwoku desu. Ore wa zettai ni oboitemasen" (I haven't forgotten...that song is my first memory. I could not ever forget that) Killua looked sharply at Chrollo as he smiled, a very reluctant and sad smile. "Naze ore tachi kawatenno?" (what happened to us?)
"Warui na, I afraid I can't answer that..." Chrollo huffed, "ever since Mom got married, and Aoi-chan came I am messing things up. I think I stepped over some lines and I am so ashamed of myself that I cannot comprehend." Chrollo looked at Killua up, he tried to say something else, but Killua got a whiff of it.
"What about stalking us in school...?" Killua said, "I know Omokage-nii, Kura-chan, Sharl-san, Hiso-nii, Illu-nii and you behaved improperly with her... why is that?" Killua said with sternness.
"Do you realise that we lack some serious education in many cases... all of us?" Chrollo said, "and this might be it. But I am not defending myself. I am genuinely ashamed. But from my viewpoint, I was honest with my feelings."
"That's twisted..." Killua answered with venom, he was leaving the room, but then something stopped him.
"And you leaking the video of her and that girl speaking about us is not?" Killua stopped dead at his tracks and looked at him, "wakaterruyo."
"So what... you will tell the principal, suspend me? Tell Knov-san, or Aoi?" Killua said angrily, "go on... I am not like you, I never pounced on her."
"No... I won't. She won't understand you like I do... like we all do to each other." Chrollo gave a cold laugh and patted Killua's shoulder, "we are the sinners of the same kind."
"I am nothing like you..." Killua jerked his hand off, "you twisted bastard-"
"So tell me... why you did it?" Chrollo asked him "prove me wrong. Prove me that it wasn't you who made Aoi miserable..." Killua stood silent, unable to answer, "Nothing comes without an agenda—you can tell me what is going on-"
"I DID THAT BECAUSE I WANTED HER TO HATE US SO MUCH THAT SHE WILL LEAVE THIS PLACE... and I am sure she will soon." Killua slammed the door shut behind him.
While he was storming away he saw Aoi at his path, face to face. Aoi looked at him with wide tearful eyes, she could not believe what she had heard, and then she slapped Killua hard in his face.
"You have hurt me, in the worst way possible." Aoi snarled in a manner unlikely of her, "Nande kimi-tachi ga watashi kara kirayu no? Omae-tachi itsumo—itsumo...(why you guys hate me, why you guys always...always)" Aoi looked at Killua with rageful tears, "why you guys continue to patronize me and treat me the way you do. Saiyaku da... minna kara omae wa saiyaku da... (you are the worst of all). You first ruined my private life, and now I cannot return to school anymore for your little act." Aoi started to pound on Killua's shoulder, and he stood there still to take the blows.
"Dakara... sassato dete koi... (So, get out already)" Killua said in a hurtful manner, but it came out as a venomous spite. Aoi lifted her heard and looked at him once more with a hateful glance, and walked out of the hall to her room. Shutting herself in her room she dialled Menchi, and after speaking with her mother and her Hunter cousin, everything was set. She knew exactly what she needed to do.
...
Aoi planned it accordingly. July 7th was coming close, and not only it was Star Festival time, but also Killua's birthday. This birthday was very special for him because, in this birthday, he turns sixteen: a step closer to taking the Hunter title for the Matsuhashi family. At first she would have felt bad, but what had happened just now, she felt more excited to do it. Indeed like every incident in Matsuhashi family, they pretended like nothing happened, and Aoi, in the dead of the night, packed her luggage little by little.
Soon the morning of the star festival came, in Japanese it was well known as Tanabata Matsuri. The preparation of Killua's birthday was at full scale. The garden bowers were decorated with lights and best firecrackers were imported and were strategically placed in the garden to showcase the high parts of the festivals and Killua's birthday. Gon was particularly excited about it. He was jumping up and down and helping Milluki with the ballroom decorations, while Illumi and Hisoka instructed the caterers and Chrollo was handling the phone calls. However two people could not be seen, Aoi and Killua. They were shut in each other's room contemplating about what they had done or doing to each other. Aoi looked at her luggage once more, and found something she had forgotten a long time ago.
A pair of worn out pointe shoes.
It almost startled Aoi how she forgot about that part of her. She had been dancing from when she was four years old, and she had thought that she will try for a different, and a better dance school than her previous one—
All at once, she forgot about a part of her that made her to be with peace with her own self.
Without a question she packed the shoes in; even though they were dead.
She waited for the sunlight to dim, and then she went to her dressing table, to put on makeup for her brief act on stage. Then freedom—this time, Knov will be with her.
Aoi knew that as Killua's birthday coincided with Tanabata, everyone in the evening will be in brightly coloured outfits. So she chose something that won't grab extra attention: a modest navy blue dress, with nothing fancy of embellished on it. He shoes were practical; a pair of patent leather mary-janes; while her hair were tightly pulled back into a neat ponytail. The questions were getting the bags and suitcases in the car; which was solved a decorator wanting to place some boxes in Killua and Aoi's room. Turns out it was Kai in disguise, as he moved out the boxes, he moved the luggage to the car, concealed within cardboard boxes of firecrackers.
Aoi knew, either Menchi or Kyoya were conducting the entire operation, and felt a gush of gratefulness. After the last bag was removed, Kai bowed to her and said they will be parked on the south side of the Sunshine Mansion, inside a black SUV. And instead of receiving receipt, Aoi got the number of the car.
As everything went smoothly, Aoi could now focus on the present, pretending her best to blend in. but her mind wavered over and over, into something that she could not put a finger on. She carefully checked the brothers, if they got any whiff of anything. It was a really bad feeling, and she could not shake it off. She stood in the midst of the ballroom where they wheeled in the birthday cake. Aoi knew what kind of cake it was; Almond hazelnut with vanilla buttercream. Hisoka had been working all week to make most of Killua's sixteenth birthday, but the person himself looked like a shadow. Killua looked more gaunt than usual. He was barely acknowledging people greeting him or giving him presents. The light preppy songs didn't even register his mind. As usual, the most popular crowd of the school was present, and that meant the jocks and the mean girls were there too. Aoi avoided them as well as possible. By Killua's glances she knew he hasn't seen her yet, and his sapphire eyes were inspecting every inch of the place for something as the crowd gathered to cut the cake. Aoi knew this was the high time to escape, as every attention was now upon him.
"Mo... taerare nai." (I can't take it any longer) Aoi whispered to herself, "tanjoubi omedeto Killua-kun, kore wa watashi no puresento..." (Happy birthday Killua, and this is my present to you.) Aoi slowly ran out of the room towards the south gate. Kyoya was behind the wheels and Kai was shotgun; Menchi opened the door as soon as Aoi knocked and she closed the windows.
"Kyoya-san, as soon as the fireworks hit... " Aoi said hoarsely.
"I was going to suggest it myself, but—well, sasuga Aoi-chan..." Kyoya started the engine and they all waited with bated breath for the fireworks to start.
"Zannen dakara... (what a pity) that we'll not be able to see the fireworks. Tanabata at Matsuhashis are always epic. Never knew their son's birthday is on that day." Kyoya mused.
"This family has a lot of secrets... sometimes its hard to breath under the weight of it." Aoi replied, "sometimes I wonder how does everyone not know everything about them already...?"
With the first pop, the SUV growled into life and Kyoya's precise back thrust the SUv was already on the road. To get on the main one, they needed to circle the house first, but that was of less consequence, everyone was busy with the fireworks. The dark vehicle almost blended with the rest of the cars on the road under the blinding reflection of the range of blue-silver-purple sparks in the sky.
"They are so extra..." Menchi pouted, "looks like it's independence day..." as Kyoya turned the wheels around. But suddenly as they were near the level crossing, an agonised scream broke from the house, and a panic stricken aura reach even up to Aoi's car.
"What happened...?" Menchi said, "you heard the scream right?"
Kai peered from the front window, "looks like someone's pants got on fire", it took Aoi a moment to realise that he was being sarcastic, "Kai... " Kyoya called him out apprehensively, as he impatiently tapped the wheels for the signal to clear. A standby ambulance was rushing in, and just when Aoi downed her windows out of curiosity, she saw just enough of the tuft of silver hair on the stretcher, accompanied by a very anxious Leorio.
"Kyoya-san... stop... STOP..." Aoi screamed on top of her lungs, but Kyoya had to choice but to drive, the signal is green, and if they do not speed up, the Matsuhashis might she them.
"I am sorry Aoi-chan... I can't..." Aoi looked out of the window baffled and thunderstruck. They soon crossed the road and soon the ambulance was out of their sight.