PART I – Resolution
Chapter V – Hunger
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
― Frank Herbert, Dune
"Oh shit," Loke breathed, "what the fuck is that!?"
Lucy gritted her teeth and tried to organize the chaotic thoughts swirling inside her head. She was screwed. She was so, so screwed. She knew perfectly well what all the blood was, she just hadn't expected it at the moment and she was surprised by the amount of it. And Loke was awake too, he saw it...
"You..." Loke growled, "when the hell did you get such a wound!? And how!?"
Lucy blinked. A wound? What in the world was he talking abo... Oh. God. She would have sighed in relief if she was sure that he wouldn't understand the reason of such a weird reaction. He thought she had an open wound! She was so lucky he was an idiot!
"It's not that serious," she assured. "Stop panicking."
"Not serious!?" Loke frantically countered. "Are you trying to be funny, here?"
He jumped out of bed, but his legs got tangled in the sheets and he fell face first on the carpeted floor. He jumped back up and cursed as he tried to free his legs of the evil bed sheets and reach the door of the bedroom, but Lucy grabbed a pillow and threw it at his head before he managed to do so.
"You're too loud," she scolded.
"Stop playing tough," the redhead answered back, "you're bleeding to death!"
Lucy sighed and shook her head. She was lucky that he was an idiot, but it made things a lot more complicated as well. And she wasn't even bleeding that much, he was exaggerating...
"Shut up," she ordered. "Go fetch Erza, tell her the problem we talked about happened..."
"What do you mean the prob..."
"Don't tell anybody else about what's going on," she interrupted him. "I'm serious, Loke, if we really are friends, please trust me and don't disobey me."
Loke stared at her with very confused eyes, squinting at her and trying to speak, but not finding the words. He nodded energetically at each word she said though.
"Go fetch Erza," he repeated. "Tell her about the problem. Don't talk to anybody else. I get it. I'll be back in no time. Wait here."
Thereupon he ran out of the room and slammed the door behind his back. Lucy sighed. Where did he want her to go? The window of the bedroom was open and the fresh air of the night smoothed her. Being a girl, her instincts kicked in as soon as she was alone and she reached out to grab a pack of paper handkerchiefs on the nightstand, placed three of them between her legs and walked to the bathroom to clean up. Erza would know where to find her.
The – very – annoyed redhead entered the room a few minutes later and slammed the door shut. Lucy was still waiting in the bathroom at that moment since she couldn't keep the girls' things she needed in her bedroom.
"Loke's waiting in my room," Erza told Lucy through the closed door of the bathroom. "I really hope nobody will see him in there..."
She turned to the blonde's bed and frowned.
"It seems like he didn't figure out what the blood was," she went on, "I'm surprised. Can you open the door? I brought the things you need."
No answer. No sound coming from the other side of the door. Erza frowned and knocked.
"Lucy? Are you alright?"
"Well," the blonde finally started. "I'm just worried that you'll try to kill me if I open the door."
Erza snickered and Lucy could feel her menacing aura through the door.
"Try to kill you?" she repeated. "I won't try to kill you, I will kill you, you moron."
The door still opened, but Erza didn't kill her. She gave her tampons and pain killers, making sure that nothing else had happened before helping take the bed sheets off and throwing them in a plastic bag. The Academy's doctor had no problem turning the mattress over either.
"You can't go out now," Erza stated, "I'll take care of the bag. Can you put the new sheets on by yourself or do you need me to help?"
"I'll be fine," Lucy assured. "Thank you for your help."
Erza stared at her for a bit and Lucy was about to ask her if something was wrong when the doctor opened her mouth to speak again.
"Are you sure that everything's alright, Lucy?"
Lucy blinked at her friend and stared stupidly, not answering for a long moment. Why was she hesitating? She should say yes. She was used to lying, and this lie in particular was very easy to tell.
"N...no," her voice shook as a knot formed in her throat. "Not really..."
A stray tear ran down her cheek. What was she saying?
"I wish I didn't have to do all this," she went on, her voice weak. "We should have run away when we had the opportunity to do so."
Lucy noticed the dark spots that kept appearing on her pajama pants and assumed that the first stray tear had been followed by others, but she couldn't be sure since she wasn't feeling anything. She wasn't crying desperately because of grief, she wasn't hurt either, she wasn't sobbing uncontrollably. But, for the first time since that dreadful night, she didn't have enough strength to put on a brave front. She was tired and, probably because of her period, she felt too weak to fight. She wasn't sure if she could oppose the whole army anymore. And she realized that, even if it was the case, she didn't have the right to give up and run away. Because it would mean the death of her father. But tonight, she couldn't bear the pressure anymore. And Erza was here, giving her the opportunity to share a bit of this pressure with her.
"I don't even know if he's really still alive," she sniffed. "nd there's this problem with Ivan..."
Erza had kept silent until then, but she had been suspecting that Ivan had done something to her friend for quite some time now, so she couldn't help herself when she heard Lucy talk about it.
"What do you mean? What's the problem with him? Did he do anything to you?"
Lucy mentally slapped herself. She couldn't believe she had said that, tired or not. Well, it was impossible to pretend that nothing happened anymore and Erza wouldn't allow her to keep quiet about the matter so she didn't have much of a choice. She told her absolutely everything. About what happened with Ivan and Dimaria, about his threat to kill one of her friends, about his accomplice, and about their conversation, a few hours earlier.
"I think he's starting to doubt me," she concluded. "But the real problem here is that he's a dangerous psychopath."
Her voice was as neutral as possible and anyone would have been convinced that the blonde wasn't really feeling upset, but Erza knew better. She clicked her tongue and Lucy heard the sound of her knuckles cracking.
"I'll just explain him that he's not the only dangerous psychopath in the place...," she growled.
Lucy smiled as a murderous aura surrounded her friend and she laughed.
"I'm really glad to have you here," she confessed. "I don't think I could do it without you."
Erza completely calmed down upon hearing this. She stared at the young blonde who braced herself, knowing very well what was going to happen. And as expected, the red haired doctor pulled her in a tight embrace that almost choked her, telling her that she was the most adorable person in the world. Feeling too happy and relieved to keep their guard up, the two women didn't notice that someone was approaching their room until the door was abruptly opened.
"What in the world are you two doing..."
The growl had emitted from a tall woman who was standing in the doorway, holding Loke by the collar of his white pajama shirt.
"She caught me," the latter laughed.
The woman finally let him go and entered the room before closing it behind them. Lucy recognized the blue hair of Dimaria's ex-assistant, Juvia.
"I found this guy in your room," she told Erza, "and when I asked him, he said that you were with a patient who was bleeding to death..."
Erza opened her mouth to answer but didn't have enough time to do so as the door opened once more to reveal a very agitated Mirajane.
"I heard you were dying!?" she cried loudly.
"Pfff."
Lucy ignored Loke's intervention and retorted.
"Guys, I'm alright," she assured, "it was nothing..."
"Don't change the subject," Juvia interfered. "What is happening here is very clear. This man isn't hurt at all and you made this story up so doctor Scarlet could spend the night with him... This is a serious infraction!"
Lucy sighed. She didn't know if she had to take this woman seriously since she had never even talked to her before, but the determination in her eyes was kind of scary. How was she going to explain this? She obviously couldn't tell her that Erza had come to help her with that, but that weird girl had some crazy imagination... Something suddenly rose beside the blonde recruit and Juvia was quickly facing a very pissed-looking redhead doctor.
"When did you start working here?" Erza almost growled.
Juvia took a step back, but Erza followed her until the younger woman had her back against the wall. Lucy frowned, she wasn't going to hurt her, right? The blue haired nurse gulped, but still kept her head high and answered with a clear voice, not averting her eyes.
"Not long ago," she admitted. "I'm a first year."
Same as Lucy, then. Erza laid a hand against the wall, beside the nurse-in-training's head.
"I've been working here for six years," she said, "and I obtained my degree a few years before that. You're accusing me, your superior, of having an affair with a recruit and I say I was healing him. But you, what were you doing in the corridors of this building at such a late hour?"
Lucy was fascinated. Erza had completely reversed their positions in one sentence and the poor blue haired girl was now blushing very hard and stuttering something about getting lost trying to find the toilets... This could have become very funny had they been alone in the room, but the sound of someone clearing their throats brought the girls back to reality as Loke waved at them, still wearing that playful grin.
"I'm still here," he laughed lightly, "and I still don't understand how this guy is still alive after losing that much blood."
Lucy stared at him sadly. He looked lost, she could see it in his eyes even if he was acting like an amused child. And she still couldn't tell him the truth, she would lie again.
"He had bleeding hemorrhoids."
Lucy froze and slowly, very slowly, turned her head toward the red haired doctor. She hadn't really said that, had she? A very deep and very embarrassed silence followed her declaration and Lucy deduced that she had indeed said that.
"Oh..." Loke hesitated. "Uh... sorry?"
Lucy turned her head back to him and something inside her snapped when she saw him blush and avert his eyes. She burst out laughing. Loudly. She laughed so hard her stomach contracted and hurt, tears even rolling down her cheeks. It wasn't even funny, hemorrhoids really did hurt from what she had heard. But it was the way Erza said it, the moment she chose to say it, Loke's face... And probably too much accumulated pressure. The young girl half expected the others to join her and laugh to their heart's content, but they weren't in a manga or a novel, nobody laughed. They stared at her as if she had lost her mind and tried to get her to shut up when they remembered that each and every one of them had violated at least one of the Academy's rules that night.
"I think we should all forget about what happened here tonight," Erza concluded when Lucy had finally calmed down. "We have to go back to our respective rooms."
Juvia all too eagerly agreed with her and excused herself with a quick nod before walking out of the room. Loke walked to the bathroom to relieve himself and Erza kissed her forehead before walking out of the room as well.
Contrary to Juvia, Erza didn't run out of the room. She peeked outside to check the corridor and only got out when she was sure that no one was around. She walked slowly, muffling the sound of her steps, listening to every noise. Her thoughts went back to Lucy when she was sure that she was alone. The young girl was bearing way too much pressure on her own. "We should have run away when we had the opportunity to do so," she had said. She was too young to fight this war, too nice, too... damaged. Erza sighed, she knew where this was taking her. She had hoped that she could save Lucy by convincing her to give up. But, as expected, things wouldn't be so easy. And if Lucy was going down, then so was she.
"Having trouble sleeping?"
If it had been anyone but Erza, they would have screamed and jumped away for, when she turned at a corner to get back to her room, she found herself walking right in front of Natsu Dragneel, the commander in charge of Lucy's group of recruits. He was casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed, hair flattened against his forehead. Erza didn't even bat an eyelid when she heard him.
"Not really," she answered, her voice devoid of any emotion.
"I see," he hummed. "Well then, good night."
Thereupon he nodded at her and quietly walked back to his room, hands in his pockets. Erza tried hard not to look back and keep walking her way, but she just couldn't resist. She turned around and glanced at him over her shoulder. He didn't look upset or suspicious, which definitely meant that something was up. She clenched her fists. How long had he been standing in the corridor? Had he heard them? He must have heard them. No, the door to Lucy's room was too far from his spot, maybe he didn't hear anything at all. Even though Lucy had actually burst out laughing a few minutes earlier... Why was he acting natural? He didn't even ask any question... And then, Erza realized that she, too, even though she had tried very hard to act natural, had forgotten to ask him what he was doing out of his room at such an hour. She gritted her teeth, Natsu knew her far too well, he knew that she was too authoritarian to let someone, might they be a commander, wander around at night. She sighed, she was busted.
How long had they been running? She didn't know... But her feet were bleeding and she couldn't stand anymore. She wasn't tired, though, she could have kept running if she had had her shoes on when the soldiers had burst the doors open. But now, her feet were bleeding, the skin was torn and even an adult man would be unable to bear the pain. Michelle came back when she noticed that she had fallen. She crouched down and mentioned for her to climb on her back, which the little girl did. Michelle carried her on her back for almost an hour, running all the time, never pausing for even a minute. The rain had finally stopped and they were standing at the edge of the forest. When the morning came, they would be able to go get help from the old man of the library. He would take them somewhere safe, he had done it in the past. They sat in silence behind thick bushes and Lucy tried very hard to stop crying. The pain was unbearable for a little girl and it was even worse when she looked at her feet and saw the wounds, the blood and the dirt that was sticking to the torn skin. She managed to stop crying, but still kept sobbing lightly in her sister's arms. Michelle was crying too, but she didn't even know that she was, she couldn't feel the tears running down her cheeks. The older girl waited for about an hour for Lucy to fall asleep, but the little girl was agonizing and shaking because of the frozen wind. She would never survive the night in these conditions. Michelle shifted so she could lay Lucy down and kissed her forehead.
"I'm going to get help," she assured, "I'll be back in no time. Promise me that you won't fall asleep in the meantime."
Lucy promised and Michelle jumped out of the bushes and ran like a cheetah. Lucy loved Michelle dearly, she didn't want her older sister to be mad at her. So she tried very hard to keep quiet and stay awake. But the cold was getting stronger with every passing second, she already couldn't feel her toes anymore. And the wounds were so horribly painful, maybe it would be better to sleep so she didn't have to feel the pain anymore... Maybe, if she slept deeply enough, the faces of her servants would disappear from her mind and she wouldn't have to see Miss Spetto's tears as the soldiers dragged her from the ankles into one of the rooms that were being ransacked. Maybe she would stop hearing her cries... But Michelle would be sad, so, so sad. She couldn't leave Michelle alone after she came back to save her. She had to be brave and bear with the pain! Her mother had borne with the pain for years, she could be brave like her mother! A cracking sound efficiently woke her up completely as large hands wrapped themselves around her thin, injured ankles and pulled on them.
"Hello, little squirrel," the man purred. "You don't look too well, you're lucky I found you."
He wasn't a soldier, he didn't have a uniform on and Lucy had never seen him before. Had he come to help her?
"I'm cold," she cried, "and I'm hurt..."
The man smiled and caressed her cheek with so much delicacy it made the girl cry even more.
"Don't worry, my sweet angel," he whispered, "uncle here will take care of you..."
One of his hands stayed on her ankle as the other went to his belt buckle. Suddenly, he didn't look nice at all anymore.
"Wait," Lucy ordered, "I don't want your help anymore."
She tried to free her ankle from his grip, but he held firm.
"What are you saying," he laughed, "you're hurt and you're all alone. You can't stay here, I'll take you home with me."
"I'm not alone!" Lucy retorted. "And I don't want your help! Let go!"
"Fierce," the man laughed, still not letting go. "Scream all you want, no one's out at this hou..."
BANG!
The sound had been deafening, powerful. Next thing she knew, the man was lying on the earth with a hole in his head and she was staring at a small silhouette a few feet away from her. From what she could make out, it seemed to be a boy, a bit older than herself. Holding a shotgun. A girl with long blonde hair came running her way from behind him. It was Michelle.
"You will hate today's training," Natsu told the recruits as a greeting the following day.
It was only five in the morning and the only recruits present were the ones that had been selected to participate in the game of Capture the Flag. Lucy realized that those of them who had been left out of the team would never reach the top of the ranking, and the ones that would integrate the Elite Squad were standing beside her that morning, yawning and mumbling. She straightened up. The commander yawned and stretched, which was quite surprising from him. Standing beside him were the lieutenant Dreyar, the lieutenant-colonel Clive, Mira, Bob and Ivan. Lucy frowned when she saw him, but he didn't even glance at her. He was just standing there, hands behind his back, quietly listening to Natsu.
"First of all," the latter explained, "I'll have you choose one of us, the one you trust the most. Choose wisely because things will get personal today."
Lucy gulped. How personal exactly? At that moment, Lucy discovered that she had two distinct personalities fighting for power in her head. The first personality was freaking out, screaming at her to run away before they figured her secret out. The second personality, the loudest one, was showing her very hot fantasies in which she was getting very personal with the commander. She felt the heat rush to her cheeks and was sure that she was blushing. "Bad Lucy, bad girl, stop imagining your commander in the shower. With you." A tingling feeling on the left side of her face made her turn her head and she saw that Ivan was finally looking at her, smirking as if he could hear everything she was thinking. Just in case, she conjured images of apples, chocolate, honey and fritters. It actually made her hungry...
"To be more precise," Natsu went on, "we will have you face your strongest primitive fear."
This attracted the recruits' attention. Most of them, including Lucy, started to regret ever applying for the team.
"We observed you all," the commander said, "we have a test ready for every one of you. You're obviously allowed to refuse, but if you do, you're out of the team. And you'll still have to pass this test next year, with the other recruits. If you stay and do it today, you get to choose the instructor that will be with you when it happens."
A heavy silence followed his words, none of the recruits feeling confident enough to talk first. Primitive fear, he said? Then, it had nothing to do with her being a girl. And Lucy wasn't exactly the kind of girl to be scared of snakes so it should be fine, right?
"If you don't have any question," Clive said, "we'll start. Is there anyone who wants to give up now?"
A few of the recruits did raise their hands. And to Lucy's, and everybody's, greatest surprise, among those recruits was Loke.
"What the hell are you doing?" she furiously whispered.
He shrugged and sheepishly smiled.
"I guess I'm just not ready for that yet," he answered.
Lucy frowned. Loke was brave, she knew it, she had seen it. Why was he giving up now? Natsu wrote the names of the recruits that were giving up on a paper and raised an eyebrow when he saw Loke.
"Shishikyū?" he asked. "You have a question?"
Good! Lucy mentally cheered, he was giving him a chance! But Loke shook his head.
"No, sir," he retorted, "I'm giving up."
Natsu sent a quick glance at Lucy, who probably looked like the world was coming to an end, and shrugged before writing Loke's name down.
"As you wish," he said.
Loke and the other three recruits that were out of the team went back to their rooms as the instructors starting forming the teams.
"As I said," Natsu explained, "you have to choose the instructor you trust the most since the test can be pretty nerve-racking."
The instructor she trusted the most, huh? There was no doubt for Lucy that Mira was the only one she really trusted. She even knew her secret, she was betraying her country for her. And so, when her turn came to choose her instructor, the only obvious answer that came to her was her name, it was the only rational choice. The right choice.
"Commander Dragneel," she heard herself say.
Inside her head, Pandemonium broke loose. "What the flying fuck are you doing, you stupid, moronic suicidal brat?" one of her personalities roared. "Are you trying to get us all killed? We would have been safe with Mira! What have you done!?" She screwed up. She knew it. And yet...
"Are you sure?" Natsu asked.
He was watching her with earnest curiosity, and to anyone, he probably looked like the concerned instructor he was. But, when she looked into his eyes, all she could see was hunger. She was the gazelle chasing the lion, but the result will be the same in the end: he will eat her. She nodded.
"Yes."
He nodded too, and, even though he didn't smile or even react in any way, she saw satisfaction in his eyes. When Gajeel's turn came, Lucy was stunned to hear him choose Ivan. The way he spat his name made her believe that he was only going with Ivan to show that he wasn't afraid of him, but Lucy couldn't help but be worried. Gray chose Clive and Elfman obviously went with his sister. Sister who was staring at Lucy with a very smug smile. Whatever, it wasn't like anything special had happened just now... All the recruits followed their instructors to the smaller barracks behind the academy's field and all of them had to wait for their turn outside the barracks. Elfman was one of the first recruits to go inside. He had red eyes when he got out and refused to talk about the test. Same thing could be said about most of the recruits, even though some of them agreed to talk about it.
"They gave me a knife," Alzack explained, "and told me to throw it at a target."
"That's," Lucy hesitated, "pretty easy..."
Alzack snickered and his eyes focused on his feet.
"Not when you're blindfolded and the target is attached to a necklace around a woman's neck..."
… What?
"Are you serious?" Lucy asked.
She couldn't believe it.
"Who was your instructor?" she asked again when he nodded.
He snorted.
"Ivan," he spat, "I wanted to imitate Gajeel and show him I'd never be his victim or his toy. And I ended up being just that..."
Lucy gulped when a very gruesome question came to her mind.
"Did you... did you throw the knife?"
Alzack's eyes never left his shoes, and even after that day, he could never look anybody in the eye again.
"He said I'd be kicked out of the team if I refused," his voice cracked as he went on, "he said I'd be kicked out of the Academy soon after, he'd see to it. So I threw the knife."
And suddenly, Jack Frost had his hand pressed against the nape of her neck. She felt nauseous.
"I didn't hurt her or anything," Alzack quickly added, "they made her leave the room while I was being blindfolded."
But he still threw the knife...
Lucy's turn came soon after, it was almost 11 in the morning. Almost everyone had finished the test by now and they were all waiting quietly, sitting under the bright sun, barely talking to each other. Gray came out of his barrack just before Lucy was called inside hers. She didn't even need to ask him what his test had been about. The boy was half naked, which was far from abnormal for him, completely soaked and furiously rubbing at his eyes. So he was scared of drowning, huh? She took a deep breath in when she heard her name and walked in the barrack. Natsu was waiting for her inside, he nodded at her when she saw him.
"This way," he said.
He led her to a smaller room and she entered when he opened the door for her. The room was almost completely empty, save for a table in the center of it. No chairs, no carpet, nothing on the walls, just this table. The door closed behind her and she turned around, half expecting to be alone. But Natsu was still here, staring at her, arms crossed.
"Um..." Lucy hesitated, "am I supposed to face my fear of tables?"
The commander didn't laugh, didn't even smile. He just stared at her, his arms still crossed on his chest. It got to a point where Lucy wondered if she was supposed to be afraid of silence. Or maybe she was supposed to be scared of a silent commander, which was totally the case.
"I don't really..." she started.
"Sit on the table," he ordered.
Lucy hesitated and frowned.
"What?"
The commander sighed and let his arms fall to his sides, where his hands grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled it up. He threw the shirt to the side of the room and repeated.
"Sit on the table."
Lucy usually enjoyed seeing her commander without a shirt on, but, for some obvious reason, the only thing she currently wanted was to get out of this room.
"Why?"
He growled and took two or three steps forward.
"Because your commander is ordering you to do so," he said.
Lucy took a step back at each of his steps toward her and he grew impatient, she could see it in the way his jaw contracted, his fists clenched. What the hell was he doing? This was just a test, right? And he was a nice guy, he didn't do that kind of thing, right? Then she remembered the moment she had told him she chose him, the hunger in his eyes, it was pretty damn similar to what she could read in his eyes now. And she had started to think that maybe she could find an ally in the army, that maybe all the officers weren't cruel, abusive bastards! Fuck it, that's what she got for trusting another soldier? Her heart and soul suddenly turned to ice as she stared at her commander. She obviously couldn't kill him but she could escape. She could go find the general and tell him about those crazy tests and the way his officers behaved when no one was looking.
"Sit," Natsu ordered again.
Lucy glared at him and dashed forward to reach the door. She was actually impressed with her own speed, but the commander still managed to catch her by the waist and lift her up before throwing her on the table. He grabbed her wrists to pin her down but she could still kick him and hit his ribs with her knees. She fought back like a tigress, but he was too strong and she soon found herself unable to move. He climbed on the table to press his legs against her owns so that she couldn't move anymore and gathered both her thin wrists in one of his large hands. His other hand went to grab the fabric of her shirt and he tried to lift it up, but the blonde recruit hadn't said her last word. Since he was leaning forward and blocking both her hands and legs, she would use her last weapon. She lifted her upper body and bit his shoulder at the junction with the neck. She bit him hard. He yelped and let her hands go to try and free himself from the human piranha that was biting him.
"Hey," he protested, not looking too hurt, "that hurts! Let go! I get it, I get it, I give up, let me explain!"
She did as she was told and let him go. She had blood dripping from one side of her mouth, she had managed to cut herself with one of her teeth when biting him. Natsu would have laughed if it wasn't for the pissed look she was giving him.
"Sorry, dude," he started, "I know it's going to break your heart, but I'm not into guys."
He told her that the instructors that had observed her during the past few weeks all noticed that she had a tendency to avoid physical contact and even seemed to fear it when it came from some people.
"Large men," he said, "or Ivan and me. This test wasn't made to help you fight your fear, you were supposed to call for help and the test would have been over. You were supposed to acknowledge your fear."
Lucy still wanted to punch him. It's not like it was a secret that the Academy was making the students go through a very hard training, but she hadn't expected that. Was she going to go through such an experience again in the future if she stayed at the Academy? She got out of the barrack without a look for her commander and went to sit beside Gray on a lump of rock near the field. The heat was almost unbearable, but she didn't complain. She actually didn't say a thing at all, neither did Gray. They just waited in silence for the other recruits to be done with their test. They just wanted to leave this place and go back to their room, eat, sleep, shower, do anything that would prevent them from thinking.
"Her name was Ur," Gray suddenly said, his voice but a faint, broken whisper. "She was my adoptive mother."
Lucy wasn't sure if he was talking to her or to himself, but she knew that he needed to speak and that she had no right to stop him, it was her role, as a friend, to listen to whatever he had to say.
"I loved her dearly," the boy went on. "But we fought a lot. And one day, she left the house after a pretty big fight. I said things I didn't mean and she went out. We lived in a small town in the mountains in the north of the country, right by the sea. A huge hurricane struck the region that night and she never came back home. I had a brother at the time. We searched for her all night long, and the day after, and the day after... There were so many missing people. We found her five days after the storm. The doctors said she had drowned."
Lucy didn't say a thing, she made sure that no one was looking and she grabbed his hand, he let her do.
"She drowned..."
Gray stopped talking after this and Lucy didn't try to ask any question or say anything comforting, he had already said everything he needed to say. Natsu got out of his barrack along with his last recruit, who looked like he'd throw up at any time, and his eyes searched the crowd for a moment before he found Lucy. She was still holding Gray's hand and was doing her best to ignore the commander, who turned away and went to talk with Clive and Mira.
"Where's Ivan?" he asked. "Everyone's done, we should go back to the main building."
"He's with his last recruit," Clive answered, "but it's been quite some time now that you mentio..."
A loud bang interrupted him and silence filled the air as the recruits and the instructors all turned their attention to Ivan's barrack. The first bang was quickly followed by several others, each more powerful than the previous one. And then they heard the scream.
"LET ME OUT!"
It was undeniably Gajeel's voice. Lucy jumped back to her feet and was surprised to see Gray do the same, as if Gajeel's scream had pulled him out of his sad thoughts. Natsu frowned as the lieutenant walked toward them.
"What the hell is he doing in there..."
"LET ME OUT!" He screamed again. "I'M FUCKING SERIOUS, I'LL KILL YOU, BASTARD! LET ME OUT OF HERE!"
Natsu and Clive both entered Ivan's barrack while Mira and Laxus stood in front of the door and kept the recruits away from it.
"Your instructors are already taking care of it," Mira assured, "go back to your seats and wait."
Someone screamed inside the barrack, people were arguing. It sounded serious. Natsu got out of the barrack a few minutes with Gajeel by his side. The recruit's hands were bleeding and his whole body was shaking in fury. No one dared approach him.
"Mira, Laxus, Bob," Natsu called, "take the recruits to the main building. I'll explain everything to you later. Leave Ivan to Gildarts."
It was the first time Lucy heard someone call the lieutenant-colonel by his first name and it went to prove how serious the situation was. Just what had happened in there? The blonde recruit turned her head to try and get a look at the inside of the barrack, but instead saw Bob whispering something in Mira's ear. The older woman's face went very pale and she nodded, her eyes solemn. She then caught the blonde's eyes and waved at her to come. Lucy obeyed.
"Go to the nurses' building," she said, "ask for Levy McGarden and go to the general's office with her."
Confusion was written all over Lucy's face.
"Why?" she asked. "What happened? Why do I need to fetch one nurse in particular?"
Mira sighed, but still answered in a low voice.
"Ivan locked Gajeel up in a coffin," she explained. "This girl is probably the only person that could calm him down right now... Ivan was only supposed to get Gajeel to admit that he was scared of enclosed spaces, but he completely screwed up."
"Are you serious?"
It couldn't be a coincidence. Gajeel was Lucy's friend, and Ivan locked him up in a coffin... It was his first serious warning to her. She sure of it. Her fists clenched at her sides and her jaw contracted as she turned to run to the nurses' building. He wanted her to choose between submission and violence, huh? Very well, she chose violence.
End of chapter 5
I'm late, but I'm back! The chapter was pretty intense, but the upcoming ones will be funnier!
P.S.: Of course, this story is a fiction, which means I made everything you read up.
Until next time!