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And the Heart is Brave

Chapter 15

Allie Grant sat on a large rock in the schoolyard pretending to read. She didn't want to play with the other children at recess today and knew this activity would give her reprieve, even from Mrs. Thornton's eyes since her teacher knew how much she liked to read. Mrs. Thornton had even written a book herself and Allie had wondered if she could do the same some day. Write a book. She'd been trying her hand at writing lately, inspired by Mrs. Thornton, in the journal her uncle had given her. In fact, that was what she was pretending to read right now. Her journal. It kinda looked like a book.

But she was only pretending because there were other things on Allie's mind. Uncle Nathan hadn't let her invite Mrs. Thornton to dinner at their house. It had upset Allie then and she was still upset. Because she knew it wasn't just the dinner. Something had changed. Something had changed lately. It's like Mrs. Thornton didn't want to be around them anymore. When Allie and Uncle Nathan had been in the mercantile not long ago and Mrs. Thornton had come in, she'd quickly left when she spotted them. And there had been other times. Other times Allie felt that she didn't want to be around them.

And it confused Allie, because she'd thought Mrs. Thornton liked her. She'd always been so helpful to her, in school and out. She let her sing in her choir and oh, there was just a million other ways she had conveyed her approval to her. But somehow lately that had all changed. Oh, she supposed nothing was different at school. Things were still the same there, the way she acted and treated her. And maybe Allie hadn't made the connection that things were only different when she was with Uncle Nathan, but she still felt the change just the same. Her mind on her thoughts, Allie got up and moved away.

Elizabeth Thornton rang the bell as she stood on the steps of the schoolhouse a short while later, signalling the end of the recess. She waited until the last student filed in then turned to follow them up the aisle. At the front she turned around to survey her students as they settled into their seats. Almost immediately she spotted the omission.

"Has anyone seen Allie?" she asked her students, her brow puzzled. Allie's spot at her desk was empty.

Elizabeth watched her students look amongst themselves, before turning back to her to shake their heads no as Elizabeth's expression grew more perplexed.

"I think I saw her go off into the woods a little while ago," Opal spoke up. She'd seen her go off but not return.

"Which way, Opal?" Elizabeth asked. Opal looked out a nearby window and pointed.

"Out that way," she said.

"Okay," Elizabeth nodded. "Everyone, please open your readers and read quietly. I'll be back shortly," she announced, striding down the aisle and heading out the schoolhouse doors.

This was unlike Allie, Elizabeth thought as she rounded the schoolhouse and made towards the woods in back. Allie hadn't skipped school in ages, not since those few rough weeks when she'd firist come to Hope Valley. And she must know recess was over, that it was time. She'd have heard the bell, even from the woods.

It didn't take Elizabeth long to find Allie, sitting quietly on a large log that lay on the ground, a book on her lap, and Elizabeth drew near, stopping within a few feet of her. "Allie, recess is over," Elizabeth reminded her. But Allie didn't respond, just stared off in the distance, her face averted from Elizabeth's. "Allie?" Elizabeth said, sensing now that something was wrong. Still getting no response Elizabeth moved closer to the child, drawing up her skirt a little to sit beside her on the log, her body crossways to Allie's, as she faced in one direction and Allie the other.

"Allie, is something the matter?" Elizabeth asked gently.

Allie didn't respond, only swallowed deeply.

"Allie, I thought you and I could always talk together," Elizabeth coaxed. "Can't you tell me what's wrong?" she asked.

Allie swallowed again. Continuing to stare ahead, she asked, her voice small, "Why don't you like us anymore?"

"What?" Elizabeth asked, surprised by the question, shocked even.

"Me and Uncle Nathan. Why don't you like us anymore?" Allie asked again, anguish beginning to creep into her voice as Elizabeth inhaled sharply in shock. Suddenly, Allie's composure broke and she turned tearful and anguished eyes towards Elizabeth. "Did I do something wrong? Because I promise! I promise I won't do it anymore!" she pleaded pitifully, desperately.

It was like a knife had seared through Elizabeth's heart at Allie's pain, her hurt. She reached to grasp Allie's arms. "Allie, listen to me, you didn't do anything wrong," she told her, desperate herself now to set the child straight. "This has nothing to do with you," she told her, thinking of her disagreement with Nathan. This was between them. It had nothing to do with Allie. It didn't affect her. Or so she thought.

Allie's eyes gazed into Elizabeth's, hearing her words, as she tried to drink in the reassurance there. Maybe everything was okay. Maybe...

"Uncle Nathan says you won't come...you won't come to supper with us," she said, watching Elizabeth, trying to read her, scanning for answers in her eyes. Maybe Uncle Nathan was wrong. Maybe Mrs. Thornton would come. But then she saw it, the hesitation, the confliction in Elizabeth's eyes and she knew. Uncle Nathan was right. Suddenly she pulled away from Elizabeth. "I'm not a little kid anymore!" she shouted to Elizabeth, more angry than hurt now. "I know when something's wrong!" Reaching to the journal in her lap, Allie took it in her hands and gave it a sharp yank, tearing it into two. She threw the pieces on the ground, then got up, storming around the log past Elizabeth and back towards the schoolhouse.

"Allie!" Elizabeth called after her, but there was no use and Elizabeth slumped in defeat. What had she done? What had she done? Elizabeth's eyes fell to the torn book on the ground and she picked up one of the pieces. It wasn't a book...it was a journal, she realized as she turned it around in her lap. Was this the journal Nathan had given Allie? The one because he knew that that's how she'd begun writing, in a journal too? Elizabeth opened the cover to the first page reading the words there. Reading the words there, written in Allie's handwriting:

Short Stories

by

Alexandra Grant

Elizabeth put a hand to her mouth, stifling with a whimper the bolt of pain that shot through her. What had she done? What had she done? Something Elizabeth thought she never would, never could.

She had hurt a child.