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And the Heart is Brave

Chapter 16

Over. Elizabeth wanted this over. This disagreement, this impasse with Nathan. She'd been naive to think it only affected them. Now it had hurt Allie. And if she were truthful, Little Jack too. Since this had all happened Nathan had avoided his daily visits to the rowhouse, thinking his presence unwanted, and Elizabeth knew even Little Jack was feeling the loss.

So she wanted this over. She would make amends. Nathan had tried to speak with her several times since that day in the schoolhouse but she had rebuffed all his attempts. If he wasn't willing to give her answers, then there was no way past it. But now she thought differently. Nathan had been nothing but kind to them since his arrival in Hope Valley. Kind to her and Little Jack and if there was something he couldn't tell her, she would have to trust there was a reason for it. So she would simply trust. She would choose to trust.

Elizabeth knew that was a risk. A risk to her heart. She knew...no, she hoped, the trust was warranted, but knew too, there was a chance it wasn't. Bill hadn't found out anything yet, maybe he never would, but for now, and in the meantime, Elizabeth would simply trust. It took a measure of bravery, this leap of faith, but Elizabeth was willing to take it, for Allie, for Little Jack, for herself even. Drawing a deep breath she turned the handle of the door to the Mountie office.

"Elizabeth!" Nathan said in stunned surprise as he stood from his desk at her entrance. What was she doing here? Was there something wrong? He couldn't imagine she was seeking him out other than as the town Mountie. No, she had gone out of her way to avoid him lately, so there must be something wrong for her to come here to him now.

"Nathan," Elizabeth nodded and approached his desk. "I wonder if I might speak to you. If you have a moment," she began solemnly and tentatively. "About a private matter," she added, letting him know this wasn't Mountie business.

"Of course!" Nathan said. "Do you want to do it here or...?" he trailed off, knowing she usually liked to talk at the schoolhouse, that she was more comfortable on her turf, not his.

"No, no, this is fine," Elizabeth said, then swallowed. "Nathan, I want to apologize...no, no," Elizabeth said as Nathan made to interrupt her, to forestall her apology. She had nothing to apologize for, he thought, this was all his doing. His duty and honour had put them in this situation and she needn't apologize for any it. "No, let me finish," Elizabeth said, putting up her hand to his objections. "I want to apologize for my reaction that day at the schoolhouse. I was wrong to try to force answers from you. I know you must have your reasons for not telling me about Jack. And I'm...I'm not going to force them from you. If you'll forgive me, I'd like to be friends again, that is, if you want to," she said, wondering if he'd want the same, maybe he wouldn't.

"Elizabeth, of course I do!" Nathan said, something like gratitude and relief washing over him. "Elizabeth, I...I never meant to hurt you," he said, knowing he had. "I'm truly sorry if I did," he apologized too. Nathan took a deep breath. "And I would be happy to be friends again," he said sincerely. Being on the outs with Elizabeth had been one of the worst times of his life and he was anxious for it to be ended as well.

Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief. Apology given, accepted and reciprocated. How good it felt. "So," she said, lifting her chin a little, "I hear Allie would like to have me over for supper?" she asked, an inquiring look in her eyes.

Nathan smiled. "Yes, she would. Monday night, if you're free?" Nathan invited. At Elizabeth's nod, he smiled to add, "That is, if you're brave enough to try my cooking."

Elizabeth eyed him directly, lifting her chin a tad more, something more behind her words. "Yes Nathan, I think I'm brave enough," she said, as a look passed between them and they held their gaze to one another a moment. Finally Elizabeth nodded to him, then turned from the room, knowing she had one more amend to make, one more apology to make, and that this one might be even more difficult than the first.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Elizabeth found Allie sitting on the banks of the creek. Her fishing rod lay abandoned at her side and she sat with her arms propped on her knees as she stared out over the water. Elizabeth drew a breath as she approached her, stopping a short distance to the side and back of her.

"Hello, Allie," she began but there was no response. "I...uh...I have something for you, Allie," she said, holding it out in front of her and taking a step closer.

Allie turned to look, her eyes glancing at the journal Mrs. Thornton held out to her, before she turned her focus back to the water, affecting disinterest.

"It's a journal," Elizabeth said. "See?" Elizabeth said, moving to sit next to Allie on the slope by the creek. "See?" she repeated, holding the journal over towards Allie. Allie slid her eyes over to look, too curious to resist but still pretending disinterest. "It's one of mine, from when I was about your age. I never finished it," Elizabeth explained, "and I thought maybe you'd like to have it, you know, pick up where I left off?" Elizabeth invited. Elizabeth turned to the cover page. "See?" she coaxed.

Unable to resist, Allie glanced over from the side of her eyes, sliding her eyes over the page Mrs. Thornton was showing her and reading the words written there in childish scrawl.

Short Stories

by

Elizabeth Thatcher

Allie swallowed but still affected disinterest. "I guess I'll just put it here then," Elizabeth said to Allie's continued disinterest, setting the journal next to her. Elizabeth looked out over the water and took a deep breath. "Allie, I want you to know that everything is okay now between your uncle and me and that...that I'll come to supper with you. Is that okay with you?" she asked. "Is that okay if I come?"

Allie merely shrugged next to her and Elizabeth took another breath. "Allie, when adults disagree they shouldn't ever let it hurt a child," she began. "And I was wrong, Allie. I was wrong to let it happen. I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?" she asked, turning her head to look at Allie in profile.

Suddenly Allie's chin began to quiver and her face crumpled. She executed several quick short nods, then twisted to fling herself at Elizabeth, throwing her arms around her. Immediately Elizabeth drew her arms around Allie's back, drawing her close as she hugged her in return. The she laid her head atop the child's and closed her eyes.

"Thank you, Allie," she breathed softly, gratefully. "Thank you."