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And the Heart is Brave

Chapter 22

It was a week later that Nathan Grant stood at the Queen of Hearts bar nursing a beer. He was dressed in a beige shirt, it's sleeves rolled almost to his elbows, its light neutal colour interrupted by the dark colour of his suspenders, clipped over dark trousers. He'd just come in for a cool drink after spending the day building yet another railing on one of the rowhouses on the path where he lived. He admitted Elizabeth had planted the idea in his head, perhaps only jokingly, but now he had taken it upon himself to implement that plan, with each homeowner's permission of course.

He'd gotten back from his out of town duty safely the week before, a couple of no-gooders locked up in the jail cell in Brookfield and was relieved to find Allie in better humour than he'd left her. He'd known it was due to Elizabeth and her influence. She certainly had a way with children and had rescued him and Allie more than once from one trouble or another.

But now, as Nathan nursed his beer, he watched a scene from the corner of his eye, his eyes and mood darkening. For he spotted Lucas Bouchard playing darts with a woman. That in itself was innocent enough. But Nathan saw Lucas reach his arm around the woman, pretending to help her better direct her dart and the pair was laughing and playful together. Nathan's jaw began to work in disapproval.

When Lucas came to the bar a few moments later to obtain some cool beverages for the pair, Nathan took the opportunity to chastise under his breath. "Lucas, what are you doing?" he asked.

Lucas Bouchard looked towards Nathan, his eyes narrowing on him as he sensed his disapproval. "What am I doing where?" he challenged.

"There," Nathan replied, inclining his head lightly towards Fiona Miller, Lucas' dart-playing partner. "This is a small town, Lucas. If it got back to Elizabeth that you were...were...well, it would hurt her feelings," Nathan said. Nathan was unsure if Elizabeth had feelings for Lucas or not, but he knew this openly flirtatious behaviour with another woman could be hurtful.

"It would hurt Elizabeth's feeling if I play darts with my girl?" Lucas asked dryly, becoming amused now.

"Your girl?" Nathan asked, confused now. "I thought..." Nathan trailed off, wondering that Elizabeth and Lucas had always seemed so friendly, so close.

"Yes, my girl," Lucas informed him. "And although it pains me to tell you this and relieve your mind in any way, Elizabeth and I are just friends. Besides," Lucas continued, "Elizabeth knows all about Fiona. Now if' you'll excuse me," Lucas said, shaking his head and heading back to Fiona.

Nathan glared after Lucas a moment, then swallowed the rest of his beer. He threw some change on the counter then headed out the saloon doors.

He came upon Elizabeth a short while later, tending flowers at the side of her rowhouse. She wore a white blouse and a pink skirt, the pinkness of her skirt complementing the pink of her cheeks, brightened by the fresh afternoon air.

"Nathan!" Elizabeth said as he approached, a watering can in her hands as she sprinkled the thirsty flowers with moisture. Elizabeth looked at his face, realizing something was on his mind, she could read him so well. "Something wrong, Nathan?" she asked.

"No. Yes," he said, countering his own answer as Elizabeth eyed him with surprise. "I mean, I've just come from the saloon," he said by way of explanation, his voice full of sympathy.

"And...?" Elizabeth prompted, setting down her watering can to face him fully, wondering what this was about..

"And...I'm very sorry," he said. There was that sympathy again.

"Very sorry for what?" Elizabeth said. This was all so confounding.

"I'm very sorry that Lucas...and Fiona," he said the names suggestively, knowing now that she knew about the pair, wondering if perhaps Lucas had broken her heart, trifled with her feelings, played with her affections before turning his attention to Fiona.

"Lucas and Fiona?" Elizabeth prompted again, tilting her to look at him inquiringly.

Nathan took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Lucas hurt you, Elizabeth. I hope, I hope not too badly," he said.

"Nathan!" Elizabeth exclaimed. Was he really that dense? Didn't he know? "Nathan, Lucas did not hurt my feelings. He and I are only friends, and have always been only friends," she told him, the implication clear.

Nathan nodded, relieved then she hadn't been hurt. He could not have borne it if she had. The thought of Elizabeth being hurt in any way caused hurt to his own heart. "Well, I'm glad to hear that, Elizabeth. And don't worry, if not Lucas, then they'll be someone else someday, someone like him."

"What?" Elizabeth said, stunned. What was Nathan saying? Didn't he know? Didn't he know that in her heart already lay a growing attachment?

"They'll be someone someday, Elizabeth," Nathan was saying. "Someone who'll bring lightness and laughter back into your life. It's what you deserve," Nathan told her.

Elizabeth swallowed. Was it up to her to tell him? Was she really supposed to do that? She thought, maybe, maybe she had to. "Nathan, I...I thought we..." she stumbled the words.

Suddenly, at her words, Nathan grew fierce. "Now you listen to me, Elizabeth. You find that lightness, you hear me? You find it, and grab onto it, and don't you ever let go!" the words were fierce, but pain lay behind them too. The pain of sacrifice. She couldn't, he thought. She couldn't love a Mountie, not again. She couldn't, and he wouldn't let her. He remembered too well that day of the funeral, the raw grief he'd seen, and he would not let her risk that pain again. He would not let her risk the pain, even if it meant his own pain increased exponentially. Because...because he loved her, he knew it now, perhaps had known it for a long time, but denial had become a way of life for him. Suddenly, unable to bear any more of it, Nathan turned on his heel and strode down the path in front the rowhouses, away, away from her.

Elizabeth stared after Nathan, dumbfounded. So that was it? Didn't he know? Hadn't she tried to show him in small ways, too numerous to list, that she cared? And now he was telling her to find someone else? Her heart grew heavy in her chest at the rejection, but then a flicker of frustration there grew and turned to something akin to anger.

Suddenly, Elizabeth picked up her skirts and ran after Nathan's retreating figure. Full throttle she ploughed into him, using her hands to push him forward. Stunned at the contact, Nathan suddenly whirled around, his eyes wide in shock as he turned to look at her, the pair squared off against each other as they stood face-to-face..

"Who are you to tell me who to care for? Who to love?" Elizabeth shouted the questions at him accusingly, hurt and anger in her words and eyes. "Who are you to tell me what lays inside my own heart?" she yelled, a hand fisted to her chest. "Have you ever even bothered to ask me?" she yelled. Suddenly in defeat, she waved her hands at him, waving him away. "Oh, just go! Just leave!" she shouted, her voice becoming bitter. "You were always going to leave anyway," she said, her voice becoming tremulous as she turned quickly from him, unable to stem the emotions roiling inside her, as she headed back to her house.

Nathan watched stunned as Elizabeth turned from him. It was not so much her words that affected him, but her face, her expression. For just as she turned, he saw it there, or thought he did. Desperate to know, he took three lengthy strides and caught up to her, pulling on an arm to turn her round to face him. So it was there! he thought. He hadn't imagined it. What he'd seen before she turned from him.

"Elizabeth! Elizabeth! Why are you crying?" he exclaimed. So the tears were real, he had not imagined them. Why was she crying? Why her tears? They couldn't be...they couldn't be for him! He thought it was only his heart he was denying...not hers! Not hers! At Elizabeth's continuing sobs, Nathan begged, "Please don't cry! Please don't cry, Elizabeth! I can't bear to see you cry!" and suddenly he pulled her into his arms, and lowered his face to hers, his lips descending on hers as he tried to still her sobs. Words were not his strength, and in his desperation to tell her what lay inside his own heart, he let the truth of those words be conveyed in another way, in this way.

Feeling Nathan's lips on hers, Elizabeth felt herself melt into the kiss, into him, and she brought her arms up under his, raising them up near his shoulders at his back as her hands clenched bunches of the fabric of his shirt. She could taste it now, the feelings he had suppressed, they were akin to her own. He was not unaffected, his kiss belying the words he'd spoken a moment ago. Feeling her respond to the kiss, Nathan drew her closer, tighter, pressing her into him as he snaked his arms across her back, one above the other and drank in her sweetness.

Finally, they broke apart after a moment, each taking a step back, their eyes locked on each other as their heavy breaths rose and fell in unison and they merely regarded each other in silence.

"You kissed me," Elizabeth finally said, stating the obvious.

"I did," replied Nathan, Master of the Two Word Sentence. He was surprised himself that he had done it.

"Out here," Elizabeth was saying. "In the middle of the street. For anyone to see," she said, eyeing him intently.

"I did," Nathan repeated, cementing his title. A short pause, hope sprung in his heart, then he added, "So what happens now?"

Elizabeth drew herself taller, raising her chin a smidgen, her eyes fixed on his, something of a gleam in their depth. "That, Nathan Grant," she informed him, punctuating her words rhythmically, "is entirely up to you!" Suddenly, Elizabeth spun on a heel, beginning a determined march back to her rowhouse.

Nathan watched her with confusion. What had just happened here? He placed a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it absently as he spun around, not sure if he was coming or going. He'd only meant to stop her tears, to stop the look he'd seen when she first turned away from him. But he'd seen another look now. Another look when she'd turned. And it was...well, it was the opposite of tears. It was a gleam, a glint, a smile almost...as if she'd just given him permission to...to...yes, that's what she had done! Nathan shook his head, understanding that Elizabeth had made up her own mind about it, that whatever sacrifice he'd been willing to make was negated by her own heart. And in all the confusion still roiling inside him, only one thought was clear to Nathan now.

He was now courting Elizabeth Thornton.