Author's Note: Whew! Well, I finally got E/N to the place I wanted them, feels like it was a lot of work to get to this point! LOL Anyway, I still have lots to put them through, lots of trials and tribulations, but at least now they'll do it together. And I hope there'll be some fun times in between the hardships. So to start off, this chapter is just kind of settling into things, not much happens, just a bit of a breather after all that's happened so far.
And the Heart is Brave
Chapter 23
"So tell me everything!" Rosemary Coulter was urging her friend Elizabeth Thornton as they sat in her rowhouse sipping tea.
"Rosemary!" Elizabeth objected. Did Rosemary Coulter always have to know everything? Elizabeth sighed. She guessed she did. Another sigh, this one of resignation. "We're courting," she informed her friend of the change of status between her and Nathan. "He and Allie have been coming to dinner more often, but that's about all that's really different," Elizabeth admitted. There had been no further displays of affection since that day in front the rowhouses and Elizabeth was fine with it. She was a widow and Nathan was a gentleman. He, and they, would proceed slowly with this courtship.
"That's all that's different?" Rosemary repeated skeptically. She had watched that kiss from outside her house from her front window that day a few weeks ago, and so had a number of others, and word had quickly spread through Hope Valley that Elizabeth Thornton and Nathan Grant were now involved.
"We're going slow," Elizabeth affirmed.
"Slow or glacial?" Rosemary asked derisively, a slight dig at the town Mountie and his slow, methodical ways, quite at odds to Rosemary and her own boisterous dive head first attitude.
"Rosemary!" Elizabeth exclaimed lightly. "It's Nathan's way, and it...he...suits me," Elizabeth stumbled a bit at the words.
Now it was Rosemary's turn to sigh. "Yes, I can see that he suits you," she admitted. And he did, this quiet Mountie. She had not seen Elizabeth so happy, so peaceful...not since...well, not in a long time. "Well, I have to say he doesn't talk much, does he?" she observed.
"No," Elizabeth agreed. "And sometimes I have to laugh at God's humour," she said, a smile tugging at her mouth, her eyes twinkling.
"Elizabeth! What do you mean?" Rosemary asked.
"God," she said. "To give me Nathan who is so quiet and reserved...and then you, who is so...not," Elizabeth explaining the diametrically opposed personalities of the two closest people in her life. "Sometimes, I get whiplash alternating between the two of you," Elizabeth smiled the observation, biting her lip to contain herself.
"Elizabeth!" Rosemary began in mock outrage, then realized, well, Elizabeth had a point. "So," she asked gleefully, "is he a good kisser?"
"Rosemary!" Elizabeth exclaimed then groaned inwardly at her friend's annoyingly personal question as she shook her head. And this was just the beginning, she knew. Just the beginning.
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"Dinner's at Mrs. Thornton's tonight, Allie," Nathan announced casually to his niece as he turned from the filing cabinet in his office. Allie had stopped by after school, asking to visit her friend's house and Nathan had given his permission, but reminding her of dinner at Mrs. Thornton's.
"Okay!" Allie said cheerfully, turning to go. She would visit her friend's, then show up at Mrs. Thornton's at dinner time, a not unusual occurrence of late.
As Nathan turned from the cabinet, a sheaf of papers in his hand, he eyed his niece thoughtfully. She must be wondering, he thought. Wondering why they went so often for dinner at Mrs. Thornton's lately. Maybe she'd even heard something around town. Since they'd made such a public display those few weeks ago, Nathan knew the town was quickly becoming aware of how things stood between him and Elizabeth. And maybe it was time to let Allie in on it too.
"Um, Allie," he called her back just as she was about to bound out the door. As Allie turned inquiring eyes back to him, Nathan set his papers on his desk and gestured to a nearby chair. "Allie, sit down for just a minute. I want to talk to you about something," he said.
"Uh oh, did I do something?" she asked, eyes wide as she went to comply with the directive to sit in the nearby chair.
"No, no," her uncle reassured her. "It's just um...," he expelled his breath, not sure of the words. As Allie sat in the chair in front of his desk, Nathan moved just slightly in front and to the side of her, sitting on the edge of his desk. "Allie, I was wondering if you were wondering..." yikes, he was already starting things off in a confusing fashion, but he carried on, "I was wondering if you were wondering why we're over at Mrs. Thornton's so much lately?" he asked.
Allie turned her head to peer at her uncle out of the corner of her eyes. "You mean, do I know you're sweet on her?" she asked, putting it in the parlance of youth.
"Allie!" Nathan exclaimed. So she had maybe heard something around town. Well, he guessed she did comprehend the gist of the way things were. Nathan rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed now. "Mrs. Thornton and I are courting, Allie. Do you know what that means?" he asked.
Allie was nodding. "You mean you might get married some day?" she asked.
"Well, it means we might. But for now we're just getting to know each other better," he said. Whew, okay that sounded a little more coherent than before.
Allie was looking at him, her mouth twisting as she tried to stifle a smirk. "Well, it sure took you long enough, Uncle Nathan!" she said finally. "I was wondering if you'd ever get around to it!" she rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Allie!" Nathan laughed. He didn't know why he was surprised with her anymore. It was like she was 12 going on 17. "Anyway, I just wanted to ask if you're okay with it. With everything. Seeing that she's your teacher. It's not gonna be kinda weird for you, is it?" he asked worriedly.
"Nah," said Allie. "I like Mrs. Thornton. I like her a lot," she admitted, and Nathan nodded his head. He knew that. Allie let out a long low breath. "She's really nice to me. And we talk about stuff," Allie admitted.
"What stuff?" Nathan asked with a smile.
Allie shrugged. "You know, stuff. Girl stuff," she said, letting her uncle know it was just between the two of them. Nathan nodded in understanding, his smile more bittersweet now. He was glad Allie had a woman to talk to, to confide in. "And sometimes...sometimes she fusses over me," Allie continued, her tone indicating she didn't mind the fussing at all, her mouth twisting and flexing, hesitating over the mention. Like the night Mrs. Thornton had brushed her hair and put her to bed. That had felt kinda nice. "Sometimes...," Allie trailed off, growing thoughtful, her eyes taking on a faraway look.
"Sometimes what, Allie?" her uncle prompted.
Allie shrugged again, trying to affect nonchalance, as she began to scratch the armrest of her chair with the nail of her thumb, her eyes dropping to fix on the activity. "Sometimes...I wonder if that's what having a Mom is like," she confessed, to the small stab of pain that went through Nathan's heart, as he froze at her words.
"Is that what it feels like, Allie?" he asked, softly, gently. Allie had been so young when her mother passed away and it pained him that she had had to grow up without a mother's love. It was, or should be, the birthright of every child.
Allie mulled the question. "I guess so. I think so," she said, shrugging a little, keeping her eyes down as she continued to scratch the armrest, her mouth twisting as she thought it over. Maybe it was, she thought. Maybe that's what it felt like to have a mother, talking to you, fussing over you. "Anyway, I'm glad I got to know what that was like," she finally said, as the arrow of pain pierced deeper into Nathan's heart. That Allie should be grateful, grateful for so small a taste of motherly love. Suddenly Allie looked over and spotted Emily and Anna outside the Mountie office window. "Hey! They're gonna go without me! I gotta go catch up," she announced, flying out of her chair. "See you later, Uncle Nathan!" she yelled over her shoulder as she raced out the door, leaving the door open behind her.
Nathan stood and followed her to the door, one hand holding it open as he watched his niece race down the street, a thoughtful look on his face. He took a deep breath, then expelled it slowly, waiting a moment before he closed the door.
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After stopping at home to change out of his Mountie uniform, Nathan knocked on Elizabeth's front door and entered after she opened it to him. "Good evening, Elizabeth," he said.
"Good evening, Nathan," Elizabeth smiled, running her hands down her apron. "I hope you're hungry!" she teased.
Nathan inhaled the enticing aroma of Elizabeth's cooking. "If I wasn't before I am now," he told her. "By the way, Allie will be along soon, she's just over at Emily's house," he said to Elizabeth's nod. "And um...I um...I told her about us," he confessed, looking to Elizabeth's eyes for her reaction, hoping it was alright he had done that.
But Elizabeth was nodding. Almost the whole town knew about them by now. It was only right that Allie did too. "That's fine, Nathan," she reassured him with a smile. "Is she...is she okay with it?" she asked tentatively.
Nathan let out a puff of air, an 'are you kidding' kind of sound. "She likes you, Elizabeth," he said instead.
"And I like her," Elizabeth smiled. "Now come on in and sit down," she invited.
It was a short time later, as Elizabeth was busy in the kitchen, that Nathan noticed it. The missing photograph. He got up and went over to the sideboard. "Didn't there used to be a photograph of Jack here?" he asked, sure that there had been, he remembered seeing it many times.
Elizabeth turned from the kitchen, taking a few steps toward him, running her hands down her apron. "I um...I, um, put it away," she said, looking at him with uncertainty, glancing up and down from his eyes, having difficulty holding his gaze. At Nathan's inquiring and puzzled look, Elizabeth struggled to explain, "I thought...maybe it was time," she said, wondering if it was awkward now to have photos of Jack around the house, now that she was courting Nathan. What was the normal procedure for something like this? Was there a rulebook to consult? She didn't know, she was just trying to figure things out as she went along.
Nathan was trying to take in her words. If they were going to do this, they had to have this worked out. "Elizabeth, you don't have to..." he trailed off, not knowing how to word it. "Surely you will be telling Little Jack about his father as he grows up?" he said instead, trying to convey that evidence of her marriage to Jack wasn't something she needed to or should cover up. "Elizabeth?" he said her name, at how uncomfortable Elizabeth still looked. Knowing he had to let her know, let her know that it was okay, that he was okay with it, he said, his voice a calm certainty, "Elizabeth, I'll not be jealous of your memories," he told her, strong meaning behind the simple words.
Suddenly, Elizabeth put a hand to mouth, covering the small whimper that had escaped in her relief and gratitude. Gratitude that she didn't have to choose between them. The two men that she loved. That Nathan understood there was room enough in her heart for both of them. Suddenly, she moved quickly to Nathan and threw her arms around his trunk in a hug, her head turned pressed sideways to his chest. "Thank you, Nathan," she said quietly, in a small squeaky voice.
Nathan was surprised by her hug, one not unlike Allie sometimes gave him, only this girl was a mite bigger, he thought, a smile tugging at his mouth. He reached his arm around her back to squeeze the hug back to her reassuringly. "It's okay," he said, then loosened his hold. "Now, what's for supper? I'm hungry as a bear," he announced, lightening the mood.
Elizabeth laughed, then pulled away from him, wiping remnants of tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, a soft smile on her face.
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It was a short while later, after Allie arrived for dinner and was setting the table, with Nathan nearby leaning against the sideboard watching, that Allie knocked over a glass of water sitting on the table. Nathan immediately straightened, intending to assist, when Elizabeth beat him to it. Quickly pulling the dish towel from its place over her shoulder, she moved to Allie's side and began mopping up the water.
"I'm so sorry!" Allie wailed at her mistake, at messing up Mrs. Thornton's nice table.
"It's alright, Allie," Elizabeth said reassuringly, finishing up soaking up the water. Seeing Allie's distress, Elizabeth continued, "It's just water, no worries," she comforted, leaving the towel on the table to reach one hand to Allie's shoulder, the other over to rub small circles on Allie's back near the other shoulder. "Okay?" she looked to meet Allie's eyes, hers conveying reassurance, and giving Allie a slight nod and smile, waiting for Allie's answering acknowledgement. Allie looked back at Elizabeth and returned her nod and smile. Elizabeth breathed the word, "Good," at Allie's acceptance, then she reached one hand to tuck Allie's hair gently back from over her shoulders, first one side then the other, into a single rope down her back, smoothing the length and delivering two light taps in a final gesture of comfort, before she turned to retrieve the wet towel from the table and take it back to the kitchen and Allie turned to resume setting the table.
Nathan had watched the interaction between the two from his place leaning on the sideboard, something panging in his heart, something reminding him of his conversation with Allie that afternoon. He understood now. Understood why Allie felt the way she did about Elizabeth and what she had said. Because he'd just seen it, just witnessed it. And though he was happy for it, it still panged his heart a little bit, with the bittersweetness of it.
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It was as they were saying goodnight, and Elizabeth was seeing them out the door and down the steps of her rowhouse and into the night air, that Nathan turned to Allie. "You go on ahead, Allie. I want to speak to Mrs. Thornton a minute."
Allie, already out on the path towards home, turned towards her uncle as he stood at the bottom of Mrs. Thornton's stairs and Mrs. Thornton stood near him, her back resting against the stair railing. "You're not going to get all mushy, are you?" she teased audaciously, shaking her head and rolling her eyes playfully.
Nathan let out a mock suffering sigh. "Go on home, Allie. I"ll be along shortly," he told her over his shoulder, turning to look Elizabeth with something that was slight embarrassment, slight suffering.
But Elizabeth had bit her lip in amusement at Allie's question, lowering her head so Nathan wouldn't see as she struggled for composure, fighting not to laugh, especially when Allie turned and began to whistle her way home. Nathan saw Elizabeth's amusement anyway and began to sigh. "You know, this wouldn't be so hard if you weren't laughing at me," he remarked dryly.
"I'm sorry, Nathan," Elizabeth said, no longer able to hide her smile. "I'm just having trouble picturing you all 'mushy'," she laughed, now bringing a hand to her mouth to stifle herself.
"Yeah. Okay," Nathan said, his mouth flattening with something of a suffering grimace, then turned to go.
"Nathan, wait! Come on back! I promise I won't laugh!" Elizabeth called out to him, reaching an arm out after him. "Now what is it you want to tell me?" Elizabeth asked when he turned to once again draw near, composing herself enough not to smile but unable to remove the twinkle from her eye.
Nathan took a deep breath, another suffering sigh. Now he had two of them. Two of them ribbing him. Allie and Elizabeth. Somehow it didn't seem fair, like now they could gang up on him. Finally he said. "Elizabeth, I just...I just wanted to thank you...for what you did for Allie tonight." Sincerely rang in his voice, knowing that the taste of mothering Allie had been given was the sweetest gift a child could receive, and he was grateful to Elizabeth for delivering it.
"What I did for Allie? What did I do for Allie?" Elizabeth asked in confusion as she grew serious, her eyes wide at his strange statement.
"I...I don't think I can tell you right now," Nathan said, hesitating. "But I wanted to thank you just the same."
"Um, okay," Elizabeth said, confused but accepting.
"So, will I see you tomorrow?" Nathan asked.
The twinkle and smile were back in Elizabeth's eyes and on her face. "Don't you always see me tomorrow?" she countered dryly. Didn't she usually see Nathan on a daily basis, even before they were courting?
But Nathan was tilting his head at her, and squinting one eye. "Yeah, but things are different now," he said with meaning.
Elizabeth nodded, then peered shyly back at him. Yes, things were different now. "Yes, you'll see me tomorrow," she answered him reassuringly.
"Good," said Nathan, then he reached a hand out to lightly cup her upper arm, then slowly ran his hand down the length of her arm till it reached her hand. He delivered a light squeeze there, then said, "Goodnight, Elizabeth."
"Goodnight, Nathan," Elizabeth replied, She watched him turn and walk into the night, the light crunch the gravel underfoot. She sighed contentedly and turned, ascending the stairs into her house.