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And the Heart is Brave
Chapter 26
Elizabeth thought over Nathan's posit as he had instructed, but maybe not in the way he imagined. He had wanted her to think about whether she wanted to be associated with him now that his father's criminal activity was exposed. But instead she thought about what he had told her of his upbringing. How he'd lost his mother so young, how his father had been harsh as a parent, how he'd been raised with little love, how he'd lost his sister and how he had taken on the responsibility for his niece when he was still a young man himself. She thought of the love and tenderness he'd displayed in raising Allie, showing her the love and kindness he'd been denied as a child. She thought about how he'd chosen to become a Mountie, a profession to help others, to serve his country, and how he had chosen in essence to be the complete opposite of the man who'd raised him.
And none of it was something she wanted to disassociate from. In fact, hearing it all only reinforced her admiration for him. And if others were critical of him because of things out of his control then that was their problem, not Nathan's and not hers. So her decision was already made and the time he'd asked her to take only strengthened it. Now she just had to find a way to tell him. She remembered Nathan had suggested a note, or some other way if she found it too difficult face-to-face. Elizabeth thought on it as her mind worked an idea.
Nathan Grant approached his office that morning feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. His father was still in town and showed no signs of leaving anytime soon. The townsfolk continued to gossip about the situation, and he knew that things could not continue this way for long, that sooner or later they would come to a head. And then there was Elizabeth. Elizabeth who had promised to give him an answer today about their personal situation. Although he desperately hoped for one outcome, he would not blame her for the other. He knew it was a lot to ask of her to overlook the potential damage to her own reputation.
As Nathan entered his office, a splash of yellow colour on his desk caught his eye. He approached and saw it was a small vase of yellow flowers and instantly recognized them. Coreopsis. The same as the one he had given Elizabeth that day because of her book, because she had mentioned them in a passage in her book. Had she...? Had she picked the same ones for him now? She must have. Who else would have put flowers on his desk? In any case, it was a strange sight to see a vase of flowers in his formal Mountie office. As he stood staring dumbfound at the sight, a voice came from behind him.
"I thought the coreopsis could answer for me," Elizabeth said simply, as Nathan spun around to see her in the doorway. "You said I could answer in another way if I wanted," she reminded him. "You remember you gave me a coreopsis once?" she said, and Nathan nodded. "So I'm giving them back to you ten-fold today. Nathan, I'm not going anywhere. I don't care what kind of man your father is. I care about what kind of man you are," she told him. "And that man is one I'm proud to know, and proud to be with," she said simply.
Nathan's jaw tightened at her words as he swallowed hard and blinked a few times, trying to control his thoughts and emotions as more than relief washed over him. He took two lengthy strides towards Elizabeth and reached for her hand, pulling her roughly into his arms. As he hugged her, and she hugged him, he spoke the only words that needed to be said.
"Thank you, Elizabeth."
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"Allie, I want you to stay home," Nathan instructed to his niece later that day, after school had let out. Allie had wanted to go out to play with her friends, but Nathan knew that now was not a good time. That if he hoped to keep her away from her grandfather that it was best she stay home, at least for now.
"But why?" Allie wailed unhappily.
"You know why," Nathan replied quietly. They'd had this discussion already. Allie already knew about her grandfather and Nathan's position.
As Allie continued to pout, Nathan realized it was time. Time to tell her the full story. If he hoped to protect her from her grandfather, she had to understand the whole story. "Allie, come here," he coaxed her over to him, then pressed her into a chair opposite from him as they sat sitting face to face.
"Allie, I'm going to tell you some things because I need to protect you, and you need to understand why," he began. At Allie's inquiring look, Nathan continued, "Allie, your grandfather is not a good person. And I don't just mean because he's been in prison," he forestalled Allie's objection. Allie had already spoken of her grandfather doing his time and that maybe he had changed, much like Elizabeth had done, but Nathan knew there was more to it. Nathan hesitated as he sought the right words. "When I was a little boy, your grandfather hurt me," Nathan said carefully.
"Hurt you? How?" Allie asked, puzzled now.
"With his words, with his fists, with anything he could lay his hands on," Nathan replied truthfully. "Do you understand what I'm saying, Allie?" Nathan asked, wondering if Allie would understand what abuse was, what physical abuse was. "And you don't do that to people you're supposed to love. To people you're supposed to protect," Nathan said.
Allie mulled her uncle's words, beginning to understand. Beginning to understand and to make connections. "Did he...did he hurt my mother too?" she asked.
Nathan swallowed at the mention of his sister. He'd gone this far, he could not deny any more truths. Slowly he nodded. "I tried to protect her, Allie. I tried to protect your mother, but I was just a little kid too," he told her, the pain rearing afresh at his failures to protect his sister more than he had, even though he often bore the brunt of his father's anger in his attempts to shield her. "Allie, when your mother passed away and it was just me and your grandfather left, I kept you with me Allie. I kept you with me so he wouldn't be the one to raise you. So you wouldn't have to go through what your mother and I did. Do you see Allie? Can you see that I'm just trying to protect you?" he asked, trying to make her understand. Understand why he was keeping her home, away from her grandfather and that it wasn't just because he had been in prison, just because he had cheated people out of their money, that it went much deeper than that.
Allie was nodding. She understood. She was a bright girl and she understood. And there was some other things she was beginning to understand too. "Did grandpa...did grandpa make those marks on your back?" she asked him.
Nathan's eyes grew wide. How did Allie know about those? "Allie, how...?" he tried to ask.
"I saw them once, when you were changing your shirt," she said. "Did grandpa do that?" she asked.
Nathan's jaw clenched in pain and remembrance. She would know it all now. Allie would know it all. The full extent of her grandfather's cruelty, his violence. Slowly, Nathan nodded his head, affirming the truth of those scars, the welts on his back, delivered by his father during one particularly violent episode.
Suddenly Allie flung herself out of her chair, throwing herself at her uncle and wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm glad you're there to protect me, Uncle Nathan," she cried, fully understanding now.
Nathan brought his arms around his niece in return. "So am I, Allie. And I always will be," he promised.