Kagome often forgot that Sesshoumaru was a fierce predator. Sure, she saw glimpses of it when they were alone. When she was bare before him, the look in his eyes would alert her to this glaring fact. But it had been a long time since he had set his sights on her with any malicious intent. Every other being who crossed his path seemed very aware of his terrifying nature. It was impossible to ignore.
But even though he very well could cause her great harm, and she should indeed fear for her safety in his presence, she seemed to believe that he never would. And she was right.
He was aware of this fact as well. Even if he had wanted to cause her any injury, he knew that he would never be able. This made her a true weakness. No matter what she would do, what horrible feats she may now be capable of, he would never lay a hand on her. He couldn't even bring himself to stop loving her.
She was a threat to him now. A threat to his lands. A constant threat to his authority. She had a hold of his heart, and she was taking advantage of that. And worst of all, he knew it. He was just like his father. Even worse.
His father knew that the human woman he had loved would bring him down in the end. But it wasn't because she had been railing against him, as Kagome seemed to be doing. It was because his father had to sacrifice himself to protect her, and the child that she carried.
Kagome openly defied him. And even though he knew he would be better off to simply let her go, or dispatch her from this world, he found that he would rather meet his own end than bring upon hers.
He was still duty bound. He was responsible for too many and too much to ever discard his honor and integrity. But even if he had to let her go, he would let her go with her life. It would be the greatest pain he would ever endure, but Sesshoumaru never shied away from pain. He would still do anything in his power to prevent this however. He too would go down fighting.
He was masking his aura, and lying in wait. Even with her superior power, he took her by surprise when she entered her personal chambers. Though her senses had been heightened, her human eyes remained weak in the darkness. She illuminated a lantern to aid her vision, and gasped as his form finally became visible as he sat on her bed, watching her every move.
"Jesus, Sesshoumaru!" She placed her hand over her heart to soothe the start he had caused her.
"You have been busy," he accused, and she knew the jig was up.
"So you have spoken with Kashi..." she wrongly assumed. But he wouldn't correct her.
"Did you plan on informing me?"
There was no use lying to him. And she had no desire to do so.
"Eventually. Look, you wouldn't allow me in council-"
"You have elected to abandon me to ally yourself with The South."
"I'm not abandoning you. I simply needed-"
"But you are!" His accusation was warranted, but he reined in his upset so that he could speak calmly once more. "Your place is here. With me." The hurt in his tone overrode his anger. Though he was brimming with that as well.
"And I will be! I want to be with you. But I am needed there too. I am the only one who can help demon kind survive at this point." Her explanation hadn't succeeded in placating him, so she continued. "I don't need your permission. It would be easier if I had it, but even if I don't, I will do everything I can to prevent the humans from extinguishing you out."
She was consumed with the thought. How could he not see what was coming? Why would he forsake his own kind on account of the humans who loathed him so? Didn't he see that she was doing this for him?
"You needn't do this. We must work together. You can help me here-"
"But you won't listen to reason. I need the freedom to act as I see fit."
He narrowed his eyes dangerously at her.
"Do you intend on starting a war with me?"
"No! I don't want to fight you, Sesshoumaru. I love you-"
He scoffed.
"You certainly have an odd way of displaying it. Do you not trust me? Do you not trust that I may know what I am doing? I have been planning for peaceful coexistence between our species. I have agonized over every detail, and you hope to undo everything I have worked for. What I thought we had worked for."
"We were wrong." She deflated a bit, and resigned herself to a confession.
"Look, Sesshoumaru. I owe you an apology. You were right before. Before we defeated Naraku. I didn't know how you saw things. I couldn't understand how you felt. About humanity. About the world. I was so blind. But I see it all so clearly now."
She kept her tone even, hoping to relay the importance of the message she needed to get across to him.
"I have seen what the future holds. In the future, where I lived, there are no demons. Not a one. I have seen with my own eyes how they view you here. They see you as the threat. Their numbers grow. I don't know how they do it, but they will end up overthrowing you. All of you."
He allowed her to put her hand on his arm. "I do love you, Sesshoumaru. Very much. And I don't want to lose you to them. If I take action now, I know I can prevent my future from coming to pass."
She wasn't lying to him, that he could tell. But her ambitions were misguided. Just because she believed it to be true, did not mean that it was. He tried to show her reason.
"What of your paradox? It was you who informed me that you must not interfere, lest you yourself never be born."
"But I was," she rationalized. "I am afraid I am already past the point of no return in that regard." He couldn't deny that he had considered it very possible. "And even if I wasn't, I have no desire to preserve the future I know. If it is a future without demons, I will not mourn its demise."
"And what of your race? True, there are humans who must be taken down. The same is true of youkai. Not all are perfect. But you are human. As well as your friends. Do you not feel anything for them any longer?"
He hoped she did. She was once over capacity with compassion. It was impossible that it had all been snuffed out.
"Of course I do. But I am afraid that we are the exception. I'm not saying that all humans need to die. But they must be kept at bay. I will not waver in that." He shook his head.
"You are wrong. There is a better way than what you are planning." He took her face in his hand, demanding her full attention. "We may come together, and live peacefully. It will take some time, but it is time that we have to spare." He was no longer above pleading. He would resort to any measure to sway her back to him. "Please, do not do this. Stay with me. Become The Lady of the West by my side. Together, we will overcome every obstacle," he assured her. As always, his confidence was alluring.
She leaned into his touch for a moment, before withdrawing slightly.
"I cannot agree. It is you who must realize what the future holds. You would do well to see things my way."
He sighed and turned into the bed behind him, and her eyes followed his movements. He placed his two index fingers on the sheets, inches apart.
"We each had once lived parallel lives," he began.
"At some point, to my great surprise, our paths began to cross, like an X," he moved his fingers to illustrate his point.
"Where we met in the middle, I believe was that night after the monk's wedding. We were on the same page. Perfectly sympatico." His expression lightened at the not so distant memory, but it faded as he continued his movements. "I fear, ever since that night, we have continued our progression, and are traveling further apart. You once held so much compassion. Now, the way you speak-"
"And you used to be ruthless and unforgiving. When did you start to become soft?" He growled at the insinuation.
"Watch your tone, woman! Who are you to speak to me with such disrespect?" His pent up rage was seeping through, but he was doing well in keeping it contained... all things considered. "I have ruled these lands for centuries, as my father had before me. You arrogantly waltz in here and after a matter of days think to know what is best for my lands? My subjects? After everything, have I not bought some loyalty? Do you not believe This One worthy of your trust?"
"Sesshoumaru, you are the strongest demon in existence. There is no denying that. But I now hold some of your youki inside me. You forget that I can purify you, your kind with but a simple touch?"
He could never forget that fact. No demon could ignore her power. But he never thought she would consider using it maliciously. "Your superior youki combined with my power makes me a force in my own rite. I can take The Southern Lands by force. And I will."
It took all he had to remain firm in his convictions, and he knew he had to speak before he lost the power to do so.
"I am The Lord of the West. I cannot rule alongside a woman who will undermine me at every turn." He steeled himself then, and strengthened his reserve. "And I will not share a bed with one."
His threat to withhold irritated her. Two could play at that game...
"Well then, your room is next door. I suggest you go there-"
"No." The harsh edge to his voice caused her to start. "This room is for The Lady of the West. If you intend on becoming an heir to the South, I will graciously put you up in a guest room for the night. After that, I must insist that you follow your heart's call and leave these lands."
He was not one for praying. But he prayed with every fiber in his being that she would consider his ultimatum, and make the right choice. But his confidence was wavering.
How could he bring a whole country together, if he couldn't even accomplish interspecies peace within his own walls?
She was stunned at the demand, and it took a moment to register.
"Are you breaking up with me?"
The reality of the statement startled him more than anything. He paused, yet continued.
"Do you insist on claiming the title as Heir to The South?"
She almost conceded. But in the end, her determination won out. She believed in her soul that what she was doing was right, and it had to be done. She would be the savior to demon kind, even if it meant losing him. A single tear ran down her cheek.
"...Yes."
He had to be firm in this. But that didn't stop his mind from processing at lightning speed for any possible solution. Could they make this work? Could he find it in him to let her try her hand at ruling? If he was patient a bit longer, would she finally be able to control her power enough to come to her senses, and abandon her ridiculous ideas?
He couldn't. In her present state, she could not be contained. For the first time in his life, it appeared there was nothing he could do.
He didn't need to answer her. The look on his face told her all she needed to know.
She regarded him sadly for what felt like forever, before finally resigning herself. She took off her ring and held it out to him. It would take a long moment before he would reach out to receive it, but he did. Eyes welled with tears, she took her gaze from his before brushing past him and making her exit.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N: Don't bail on me now! We're almost to the promise land...
There is just a little more BS we have to go through before things lighten up again. But don't worry, I like happy endings =)
We have about 6 chapters left.