Lim saw Melendez heading toward her hospital room, and she knew he was thoroughly impressed that she was already working. But she also knew what he was coming to discuss: their night before the quarantine, "Look at you! Already back at work," said Melendez impressively.
"It's either that or watch the news, and I'd rather be back on ECMO with a rusty cannula," Lim joked. Melendez came up beside Lim's bed, Here we go, Lim thought to herself.
"Anything you need?" asked Melendez eagerly.
"Thanks, but not necessary," said Lim in a stone cold manner. She was trying to give Melendez the hint that she didn't want to be his girlfriend. She wasn't falling for him hard. Not at all.
"You sure? Magazines, a book," Melendez listed and then his face lit up, "Maple bacon donut?"
Lim knew that Melendez was clearly trying to show his interest in her by bringing up her favorite flavor of donut, Laying it on a little thick with the wannabe boyfriend mentality, aren't you, Neil? she thought. She looked up at him and said, "Yeah, you don't have to play supportive friend just because we slept together," she said quietly.
"I'm not playing; I'm being nice," he emphasized, "Which I've done for people I haven't slept with many times in my life."
"No doubt," said Lim, though she had a little trouble believing it, "But until we did, you were always more interested in competing than supporting. And that's how I prefer it," she looked him dead in the eyes, hoping he would take the hint.
"Okay," Melendez said slowly, absorbing her words, "I'm not sure that's true or fair," he said, knowing she was hiding something from him.
"I'm also exhausted, unshowered, and constipated, so if you could shut the door on your way out, I'd really appreciate it," said Lim, indicating to Melendez that she was through talking to him, at least for now.
Melendez looked a little ticked, but he quipped, "Will do."
Lim watched him silently leave the room, grateful that she didn't have to discuss her feelings for him any further, at least for now. Wait a minute? Feelings for Melendez? She'd been over that with herself 1,000 times before, and she most certainly did not have feelings for Neil. The sex had been casual as she had told him. If they pursued a relationship, it would complicate things at work and could potentially ruin their friendship. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind as she finished up the medical report she was working on, and then, decided to take a nap since she was actually telling the truth when she had told Melendez she was exhausted. She woke up again a couple hours later when one of the nurses came into her room to do vital checks.
Shortly after the nurse left, Melendez came back into the room and asked, "Feeling any better?"
"Actually, I am," she said happily, "Nothing like a good BM to turn a frown upside down," she said a little too jovially for the topic of discussion.
Melendez came further into the room and stopped at the foot of the bed, "I've been thinking about what you said this morning. About how competitive I always am. And the more I think about it, the angrier I get."
"All I was trying to say is…" Lim began, but Melendez interrupted her.
"I have been nothing but professional with you. And for the record, you're the one who invited me out for drinks, you're the one who wanted to go back to my apartment, and now you're the one who's acting differently just because we had sex!" Melendez shouted.
"You need to project more. Use your diaphragm if you really want the entire hospital to hear you," Lim answered sarcastically, sincerely hoping no one had heard Melendez.
"Definitely won't go out of my way to be nice to you again," said Melendez and walked out of the room.
Lim huffed a little as she watched Melendez's retreating form. What an ass. That just confirmed why I don't want to date him, she thought to herself. Never mind the fact that he had been checking up on her every hour or two, never mind the fact that he clearly wanted to see her well. Never mind any of that. There was no way she was getting into a serious relationship again! He probably felt like he owed her something because they had had sex together. She just couldn't risk getting attached to someone again and end up having everything she felt toward him be fake.
Felt toward Melendez? Why was she even thinking about being with him? Sure, they were friends, and she loved being his friend, but she didn't want to be more than friends. Oh for Heaven's sake! She needed to quit lying to herself. She did want to be more than friends with Melendez, and she had been harboring, and then, suppressing feelings for him for quite a while now. She just had been holding back in regard to telling him. She knew part of the reason was the fact that he had been with Jessica for some of the time they had known each other. Also the fact that, as tough as she appeared to be on the outside, deep down, she was frightened to get involved with someone again. The fact that she had romantic feelings for her best friend made matters even more complicated.
But if it was one thing that had changed over the past few days (besides the fact that she was obviously more aware of her attraction to Melendez), it was that she felt like she needed to take bigger risks in life. If it hadn't been for Morgan, she could very well be dead right now, and it wouldn't matter if she wanted to be with Melendez or not.
Melendez came into the room a few moments later with Andrews behind him for some reason. The news wasn't good in the fact that they were both going to be investigated by the medical board and were facing possible license suspensions. Needless to say, they were both pissed. Melendez left to go to his office again, and it wasn't long before Lim found her bathrobe and her slipper socks. Her life had almost been taken from her and now her career was in jeopardy too. She couldn't let Melendez get away. She had to tell him the truth. Somehow. She kind of had the feeling he knew she was hiding something from him.
She found her way to Melendez's office and didn't even bother to knock on the door. He looked over at her, but stayed silent, so she began the conversation, "I screwed up."
"No, you did the right thing. We both did," he comforted.
Lim knew he thought she meant the investigation, so she went straight to the point, "I wasn't talking about this stupid investigation; I was talking about us," she admitted. Melendez raised his eyebrows, like he was looking for an explanation. She looked down a little and took a deep breath, "Ever since my divorce I can't help but think…" she stopped to compose her thoughts and find the right words, "No matter how real this feels, it's…not," she looked up at him and he stayed silent, so she knew he wanted her to continue, Here goes nothing, she thought, "I…have feelings for you. I have for a long time, and it scares me," she said honestly, because it did. It terrified her, but the heart wants what I wants, she supposed, "But I don't want the night we spent together to be our last," she finished quietly.
Melendez stayed silent briefly, so Lim had no idea what to think until Melendez said, "I feel the same way," he smiled to break the tension between them, "But I'm not sure it's a good idea. Especially now since we're both going to be under a microscope."
"Yeah, that is true," Lim bit her lip as she thought about what Melendez had just said. Her eyes lit up and she smiled a little, "Of course, if for the time being, we just made sure Andrews and everyone else…doesn't know?" she suggested.
Lim had rested her hand on the table and Melendez glanced down toward it. He glanced at her and slowly laid his right hand on the table and slid it closer toward her, their fingertips just barely touching, "Interesting idea," he said intriguingly, not taking his eyes off of their almost entwined hands.
They both looked up at each other in sync, small smiles forming on both of their faces. Melendez's look of adoration was clear, and Lim couldn't help but feel all giddy inside, though she didn't show it outright. No further conversation was needed; they knew by the looks on each other's faces that they had just made the mutual decision to go steady, even if it was in secret. After a few more moments of silence, Lim nodded toward Melendez and said, "Good night, Neil."
"Good night, Audrey," he answered back and Lim turned to go back to her hospital room. Once she was away from Melendez's office, she couldn't help but give a small leap for joy. Her heart was racing, her palms were a little sweaty, and she had some butterflies in her stomach, but it was all in a good way. She was so lost in her own world that she had barely realized that Andrews had spoken to her, "Have a good night, Dr. Lim."
"What?" she asked for clarification.
"I said 'have a good night, Dr. Lim'," he said again.
"Oh," she got rid of the giddy grin on her face, "You too, sir," she responded politely.
"I heard you're getting out of here tomorrow. Good for you. I hope you make the most of it," he said and walked toward the exit.
Lim had no idea whether Andrews was being polite or being snide, but she was too happy to care right now. She found her way back to her room and Petringa was there waiting to check her vitals, "Sorry Petringa, I was…taking a long walk around the hospital."
"It's not a problem. It's good for you to walk," said Petringa. Lim lied back down and Petringa took her vitals and hooked her up to some IV fluids just to keep her hydrated, "I'll check on you in a few hours," Petringa said and left the room.
Lim nodded. Lim was starting to fall asleep when she heard her phone buzz. She checked the text and it was from Melendez, Is the coast clear?
Yes, Lim texted back.
Melendez stopped by her room and said, "I just wanted to stop and tell you that I'm on my way home, but if you need me, call or text me, and I'll be here in a heartbeat."
Lim nodded and said, "Well, the doctors and Andrews said I'll probably be getting out of here tomorrow. I do need someone to take me home."
Melendez didn't say anything, but smiled and said, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Audrey."
"You too," she answered and he left. Lim couldn't help but fall asleep, fully satisfied, no longer scared about what would happen in the future. No matter what happened, she had the feeling that the universe would work things out.