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JAX IS REALLY ALIVE.

Chapter 8 Recap

Jax wants to go out for a hike and discovers the central automated system or Cas will not allow him to leave without Tara's authorization. He wonders if he's a prisoner

CHAPTER 9 That Jax Teller Smile

AUTHOR'S NOTE: A kind and sharp-eyed reader noticed that this chapter hadn't been posted correctly. I uploaded this original file from my computer. Many thanks to QueenofSpades137 for letting me know about this.

Tara pulled away from Jax and smoothed her dress over her body in a way that made Jax envy Tara's hands.

He tried to think of something other than sex, but the more he tried to think of something other than sex, the more his brain fixated on sex.

"Ryland's here," Tara said.

"You don't want me to kiss you in front of him?"

Tara shook her head.

"No and don't fight with Ryland."

The wall slid open and Ryland walked in. Jax had seen him talking to Tara, but he was surprised that he looked so human. There wasn't anything about him that made him look like a space alien.

He was tall with broad shoulders, dark hair and deep gray eyes. Jax reluctantly admitted that women would find him attractive.

"You look tired," Tara said.

"I've been up for 36 hours straight. I'm going to go grab four hours of sleep."

He put his hand out to Jax.

"Teller, it's good meeting you," Ryland said.

Jax shook his hand politely.

"So, you are 100% alien."

Ry laughed.

"I'll cut myself so you can see my green blood."

"He's kidding," Tara said.

"I'll see you in four hours. We can have lunch together."

He left them and walked down the hall out of earshot.

"I wanted to go hiking and I was told that I can't leave without your authorization."

"That's true. This place may be out in the middle of nowhere, but we can't take a chance that you will be seen. It would destroy our ability to use this as a high security retreat for Meg. Only seven people know this place is here."

"Why does Meg need such a secure place?"

"It's not just the queen. The remaining fertilized eggs are stored here. There have been rumors that on board the ships that left Paralorn, there were spies for Sliven among them. Meg has to have a secret place to stay if necessary. I had to beg Meg to let me bring you here."

"Why? I can't be a spy for the Slivens."

"It's the heat that you bring. They are scouring the world for you. I knew your disappearance would be big news, but this is beyond anything I could have imagined. There have been sightings of you in Canada, France, South Africa, China and everywhere in between. A Vegas casino wants you to do the disappearing act on stage."

"Before you got here, I was about to check out the news coverage. I want to see if the MC has said anything."

"Cas bring up the footage I asked you to collect of the SOA starting with the earliest to the most current."

Jax and Tara stood in the living room looking up at a large screen that began to replay everything that SAMCRO said publicly about Jax.

Chibs, his Scots accent heavier than usual, confirmed that Jax Teller was a member of the Sons of Anarchy Motor Cycle Club. He went on to explain they were not an outlaw MC, but a group of motorcycle enthusiasts who were known for their charitable works.

He managed to say this with a straight face. Happy, standing next to him, coughed to cover a laugh.

When pressed with questions about Jax killing enemies of the MC before vanishing, Chibs retreated to the MC's favorite line—the charges against Jax Teller were merely allegations.

"They don't know about the mayhem vote yet?" Jax asked.

"Cas would have found it. It's bound to come out though. Someone with get drunk and talk."

"Breaking news about SOA," Cas said.

"Display," Tara said.

A female reporter wearing a spandex skirt so short it could have been a belt, a cropped T-shirt that displayed a pierced navel and stiletto bondage shoes explained that she was going to try to gain access to Scoops that was used as the Sons of Anarchy Motor Cycle Club's clubhouse where the Sons hold their meetings and plot their alleged illegal activities. She had disguised herself as a hooker to gain entry into the secret confines. She pointed to a reaper pin on her blouse.

"Hidden camera. Let's check this out." She winked at the camera.

She walked into Scoops and gave Chuckie a confident smile.

"How ya doing, baby?"

"Who are you?"

"The guys called for me," she said.

Chuckie looked at her skeptically, but before he could say anything else, she disappeared up the staircase.

Chibs, Tig and Happy were at the table.

"Good morning, gentlemen."

"Who the hell are you?" Chibs demanded.

"I'm Diana DeNutz from channel 5 K-RAP TV. I have sources that mention a mayhem vote on Jax Teller. Isn't it true that's a kill order? Isn't it also true that the SOA are behind Jax Teller's disappearance? Is Jax Teller even alive?"

Happy and Tig grabbed her, shoved her down the stairs and out the door of Scoops with her hidden camera catching chaotic images of the stairs, the floor and the ceiling showing how swiftly she was removed from the clubhouse.

The camera cut to a live shot of the battered news reporter.

"What are they hiding? Are they behind Jax Teller's disappearance? Are they helping him hide from law enforcement or have they killed him?"

Chuckie opened the door to Scoops and threw the reporter's purse at her.

"What can you tell me about a mayhem vote on Jax Teller?" she asked

Chuckie smiled at the camera and went back inside Scoops.

"We will not hesitate to break into programming if there are any more developments in the Jax Teller hunt. This is Diana DeNutz from channel 5 K-RAP news signing off."

"Perfect timing. Now you know."

Jax shook his head.

"I don't know what I was expecting. They probably think I betrayed them, that I didn't have the courage to kill myself. They are going to take a lot of shit from the chapter presidents."

"Jax, you killed two of their biggest enemies. They owe you for that. In the end, it isn't about SAMCRO. You need to get your head screwed on right when it comes to them. They are behind every bad thing that has ever happened to you. Give that some thought."

"Why didn't you say this stuff to me before?"

"I thought I would lose you if I made you choose between the club and me. I've always known that you love the club more than you've ever loved me," Tara's voice was filled with sadness.

"When I was inside on the fed weapons charges, I did a lot of thinking. I realized that you and the kids were what's important. I love you more than the club. I made the decision to leave the club. We were going to get out."

"And when you were forced to help the cartel get weapons to prevent the government from destroying all the MCs with RICO, I was the one who helped you beat RICO. What thanks did I get? Wait, now I remember," Tara said in a bitter, mocking voice. "I got arrested for murder. Was my husband by my side helping me? No. He was off screwing a whore and building a business empire based on degrading and exploiting women."

Jax caught his breath.

"Tara, I've apologized. I don't know what else to do. You need to remember that I tried to visit you in jail and you refused to see me. You pulled away from me first."

Tara stared at him incredulously.

"I was ashamed. I wasn't raised like you were. Going to jail was humiliating and degrading. I'm a surgeon. I worked at a hospital. Between the botched kidnapping and my injured hand and my arrest, the career I spent my entire adult life building was gone. And I don't believe for a second that you are really sorry about that whore Colette and the SAMCRO stuff. You are sorry about my reaction and that it didn't work out as planned, but when I needed you the most, you failed me.

"I remember after you got rid of Kohn's body. You told me that you would never let it blow back on me because you would never let me get hurt. What the hell changed? My assistance in breaking RICO blew back on me and destroyed me. I'm done with this conversation. If you want to use the gym or you want anything ask Cas. I'm going to my room. I need to be alone."

Jax slapped his hand against his head and wondered if this nightmare would ever end. Would he ever get old Tara back? This new, tougher Tara was brutal. He didn't know what it was going to take to get back on Tara's good side.

Why did she feel this constant need to bring up the past? He couldn't change the past. Why couldn't she just put the past to bed? Maybe it was a woman thing—this endless need to keep rehashing the past.

Jax talked to Cas and she helped him find the gym in the lower level. She explained the equipment and added there was a room that was one giant treadmill that could simulate various outdoor scenes. He went into the treadmill room and told Cas he wanted a beach setting. The white walls, the ceiling and the floor turned into a beach. Hidden speakers provided the sound of the waves and the call of the seagulls. There were even vents that blew air making it feel like an ocean breeze. He began to run and the floor that looked like sand moved with his pace whether he slowed to a walk or ran.

As he ran harder and harder, he realized it was like his life. The harder he ran and the harder he tried, the more he was doomed to remain in the same place.

His kids, SAMCRO and Tara. It was too much to think about and there were no easy answers. Jax thought about sex. It was a simple subject and he enjoyed thinking about it. He would have to deal with his new reality, but he just wasn't ready to figure out what he was going to do with his life. He ran until he collapsed.

By lunch time, Jax had recovered physically, but he still wasn't ready to face the future.

After an awkward lunch, filled with uncomfortable silences, Jax, Tara and Ryland went to the lower level so Jax's scar near his heart could be removed.

The medical unit was a series of four rooms that formed a mini-hospital. There was a room for surgery, a room equipped with six beds for patients, a pharmacy and an exam room.

Ryland explained that most of the equipment was kept behind the walls that would slide open when needed.

"Check out my hand and wrist," Tara said to Jax holding out her arm. "The surgeons did a good job, but Ry went beyond that. He made my wrist and hand even better than before and he erased the scar."

Jax touched Tara's wrist and hand. He couldn't feel any scar tissue.

"Did you take out the screws and everything?" Jax asked Ryland.

"Yes," Tara answered for him. "I was awake during the surgery. It was amazing to watch Ry's surgical techniques," Tara said.

Jax didn't like the way Tara looked at Ryland. She admired him. He couldn't remember the last time Tara had looked at him that way.

"Have a seat," Ry said gesturing towards a chair that looked like it came out of a dentist's office. "And remove your shirt."

"How did you get the scar?" Ryland asked as he touched the scar.

"I got shiived in prison."

"They did a terrible job stitching you up."

"The California penal system doesn't get the top of the line docs."

Tara hovered between Jax and Ryland, clearly uneasy.

"Tara, it's OK. We'll be fine," Ry said.

Tara looked at Ry and nodded

"OK."

Jax waited until Tara left.

"And why wouldn't we be fine?" Jax asked.

"Competition. We're both in love with Tara."

"You aren't competition. Tara and I have been in love since we were sixteen."

"You're the past, Teller. I'm Tara's future."

Ryland swabbed the scarred area with purple liquid from a bottle.

"I'm going to use a special piece of equipment. It's kind of like a laser. It will lift the scar and in two days, maybe sooner, no one will ever know the scar existed. Tara did a great job of removing your tattoos."

"Tara is my wife," Jax pointed out.

"I'm not sure about the legalities of that, since she died, but it doesn't matter. Sometimes, you have to make your own rules. You know all about that, right?"

Ryland opened a drawer and pulled a small machine from a drawer.

"You might feel a slight tingle."

Five minutes later, the scar was gone replaced by a red area. Jax got up to leave. The less time he spent with Ryland, the better.

"Do you want what is best for Tara?" Ry asked, getting to his feet so he could look Jax in the eye.

"Of course I do."

"Even if that means you aren't the best person for her?"

"Tara and I have been in . . . "

"Love since you were sixteen," Ryland completed the sentence. "That doesn't answer my question. I heard the conversation between you and Nero at Teller-Morrow. You told him to tell your kids you were a bad man, a criminal and a murderer. Is that the kind of man you think Tara deserves?"

"I can be the kind of man Tara deserves."

"I don't think you can. I was with Tara when you attacked the guy in prison and ripped out one of his teeth. She began to shake and scream. Some of that was due to the trauma of transitioning between human and hybrid, but a lot of it was due to you."

"I thought Tara was dead. I reverted into what I would have been without her in my life—a mindless thug."

"She also saw you kill the Chinese man your mother said killed her. She saw you torture and kill that man. She became so upset that I had to sedate her for two days."

"She didn't tell me that," Jax said.

"Ask her. It happened. You aren't good enough for Tara. She deserves better. I know you have history with Tara and the two of you have to work out some stuff because you have a son together and another one that Tara considers her son, but you are the past. And you are going to stay there."

Jax was used to fighting with his hands, arms, legs, feet and even head. He wasn't used to fighting with words and ideas. He suspected that Ryland was more skilled at that type of warfare.

"What does she really know about you?" Jax fired back. "You are an alien from another planet. Who knows what kind of person you really are? You could be worse than me. She just hasn't seen the real you yet."

"You can tell yourself that to make yourself feel better, but Tara deserves the best. I may not be the best, but I am a hell of a lot better than you."

Jax clenched his fists and tried to focus on calming himself. He couldn't hit this asshole. It would prove his point and Tara would be disappointed.

Jax smiled, that winning Jax Teller smile.

"Nice try. I'm not going to hit you."

"It doesn't matter if you did. I'm five times stronger than you are."

"Asshole," Jax said.

"Do you love her enough to do what's best for her and not what's best for you?"

"Tara may buy this noble doctor act, but I see through you. Tara was vulnerable and you took advantage of her. You aren't better than me."

Jax left. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to keep himself from hitting Ryland. What the hell kind of name was that, anyway?

Dinner was another awkward meal. Immediately after, Ryland returned to work in the medical unit.

"Tara, I know we have a lot to talk about, but I just need a little time to kind of adjust. Can't we just watch videos like we used to do in high school?"

Tara nodded.

"I think that's a great idea. It will be nice to have some down time. I've been so stressed watching everything going on in Charming."

"I was pretty stressed living it," Jax said drily.

Tara laughed and for a moment she was the carefree, happy Tara he remembered.

Jax and Tara relaxed watching the videos they used to watch together in high school. Jax was hoping Tara would be reminded of all the good times they had had together.

Several hours later, Ryland returned and they ate hot fudges together before they all went to bed.

When Jax walked into his bedroom, he found the Ima sex doll in the middle of his bed, inflated and with a plastic sleeve over its face so it resembled Colette.

"Who did this?"

No one replied. Jax wasn't sure if the computer system could hear him in his room.

"Cas, are you there?"

"Of course, Jax. I am always listening."

"Who inflated the doll and put the plastic Colette face over Ima's face?"

"I thought you needed assistance with the Ima sex doll. I instructed a house robot to inflate the Ima sex doll and instructed another robot to make the plastic sleeve that looks like Colette and place it over the face of the Ima sex doll. It matched perfectly to Colette's face. I instruct robots. Did they do something that displeased you?"

"I don't want the damned sex doll," Jax said.

"I will have a robot come in and remove it."

"No. Don't do that. Who told you to make the Colette face and put it over Ima's?"

"No one. I have been programmed to use initiative."

There wasn't any point in continuing to talk to the computer. It would be like trying to eat ice cream with your nose; it was destined to end in failure.

He left the door to his room partially open and the door to the bathroom completely open when he took a shower, hoping that Tara would wander in while he was taking a shower. He was disappointed that Tara wasn't waiting for him, but he wasn't surprised.

He was beginning to realize his problems with Tara couldn't be cured by a sexy shower and sex.

He pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms he found in the closet before leaving his room. He tapped on Tara's door. No answer. He knocked louder.

"Tara, it's me, Jax."

He got no reply. He returned to his room and began pacing.

"House, I mean Cas, where is Tara?"

"Tara is in Ryland's room."

He didn't think his life could get any worse, and then, it just did. That was the moment when the bottom fell out of Jax Teller's world.