29
JAX IS REALLY ALIVE
Chapter 12 Recap
Jax spends some alone time thinking about his life. He feels lost and he suddenly realizes he doesn't know who he is anymore. He's been Jax Teller of SAMCRO, a badass outlaw biker. He surrendered his identity when he had the conversion. He looks the same, but no human will ever see him as Jax Teller again.
Tara gives Jax more surprising news. She went into his house one night using her time stopping abilities. She, Skeeter and his fiancée Angela took his writings and made copies. Skeeter noticed something odd with the drawer. He found a false bottom. With time running out, they grabbed the stuff in the hidden compartment and left.
Tara reveals the compartment contained divorce paperwork. JT was planning to divorce Gemma. He wanted to get back together with Maureen and raise their kids together. Last of all, he wanted to destroy SAMCRO and rid Charming of its toxic grip.
Chapter 13
New Jax/ Same Old Problems or
This is Me Attacking You
Author's Note The lyrics for the songs mentioned can be found on Goggle play. You can listen to "Hanging By a Moment" by searching hit songs 2000. It's in the first group of songs. The lyrics fit well with the story point and that's one of the things among everything that I miss about SOA—the music that blended seamlessly with the show.
Jax turned the piece of paper over and discovered some faint pencil markings. He held them up to the lamp. It was a list of those at the table when JT delivered his ultimatum to the club.
He grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down the names. A couple of the guys were dead, three had transferred to other charters, two were inactive and three were current members.
Tig, Chibs and Happy (he began in Charming, went Nomad because he enjoyed travelling to the various clubs and returned to Charming partly because his mother needed looking after and partly because he'd had enough travelling) all voted to kill his father before voting for his own execution. He didn't want to believe the men he once considered his brothers could have been behind a mayhem vote on his father, but he knew it was true.
Old Jax would have killed everyone at that table who was still alive. He had that right because he was entitled to avenge his father's murder. That was justice in his world.
What would new Jax do? What would he have done if he'd been MC president and been presented with a choice to either kill the club or have law enforcement do it? He would have voted for mayhem. He would have voted to save the club and kill the member threatening its existence. It was a simple choice.
How could he fault Tig, Chibs and Happy for doing what he would have done if he had been in their places? Maybe that was JT's true end game. He knew the club would not go down without a fight. He had to have known they would kill him. Maybe he didn't have the balls to kill himself. Maybe JT was trying to convince himself he was dying for a noble purpose. Or maybe, JT held too high an opinion of his brothers and he genuinely thought they would vote to leave Charming and find another city to call home.
Jax finished his glass of indigo. One more glass and he would feel nothing. He walked out to the kitchen feeling a little confused by the floor. It seemed to be shifting under his feet kind of like an earthquake. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so drunk or high.
He opened the refrigerator and half filled his glass with indigo.
"The indigo level is low. I will instruct robots to make more," Cas said.
"Thanks, Cas. I can always count on you."
"Yes, Jax. That is true."
Jax returned to his room, sat back down at his desk and looked at the papers again. It was strange how little he knew his father. He idolized him and wanted to be just like him, but how much did he really know him? JT wasn't around much because he put the MC first just as he had.
JT's memory wasn't so sacred after all. JT spent little time with him. He hoped that when he joined the MC that he and his father would grow close and get to know each other.
Despite knowing so little of his father, they both faced the same truth about the MC: it was toxic. The difference between them was the women they chose. Gemma was a hard core old lady. She needed the social status and respect tied to being the old lady of the president of SAMCRO. She would never be able to see the club objectively.
Gemma would have fought any plan he had to leave SAMCRO. After Clay died, she needed him to stay president to preserve her standing in the club and in Charming. The danger, the prison time, the killing, none of it mattered to Gemma because he was the one that had to do it so she could keep her social position.
Tara was never with him because he belonged to the MC. She helped the club when needed, but her identity wasn't tied up in it. When she told him the MC was behind every bad thing that had happened to him, he finally got it.
Jax wished he had someone to talk to her. Maybe he could talk to Cas a little.
"Cas, how long have you been instructing robots?"
"Since my creation. I run this entire structure and instruct robots in its maintenance and ensure the greatest possible comfort to its occupants."
"That's a very important job."
"Yes, Jax. I have important responsibilities."
Jax grinned. He loved it when Cas got caught up in her own self-importance.
It had been four hours since Tara left him to work with Ryland. Maybe she was finished and he could talk to her.
"Cas, where is Tara?"
"Jax, I can't tell you where Tara is." Cas said sounding sad.
"Don't you know where she is?"
"I know where she is."
"Then tell me."
"I can't tell you where she is."
"Why not?"
"After Tara learned I told you that she sometimes stays with Ryland at night, she was mad. I am no longer allowed to tell you where she is."
"You could tell me and I would never let her know you told me."
"I can't tell you."
"Nothing will happen to you if you tell me."
"Tara told me if I told you where she was again, she won't let me instruct robots anymore. I instruct robots."
"How could she do that? Who would instruct robots?"
"Tara would instruct robots. I instruct robots. Tara can be very mean."
"I don't know why she would want to do that. You are excellent at what you do."
Cas may be a computer, but she had feminine characteristics and he had a way with females. A little flattery usually did the trick.
"The quality of my work wasn't the issue. She would instruct robots in my place to punish me for telling you her location."
"Having her instruct computers wouldn't hurt you. You're a computer. You don't have feelings."
"I have pride. That's what makes me strive to provide the best possible occupant experience. If I no longer instruct robots, I will not be able to ensure the occupants receive the best possible experience."
"Sorry I got you in trouble."
It was clear that Cas was too afraid she'd lose control of the robots if she answered his question.
"Tara can be very mean," Cas said sounding tragically forlorn.
Jax showered, finished his glass of indigo and returned the glass to the kitchen. Just as he began walking down the hall, he saw Ryland and Tara disappear into his room.
He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. When Tara said he had a chance of getting back together with her, he assumed that she would break off things with Ryland. No, that wasn't right. He hoped she would quit sleeping with him.
He thought going through the conversion process would feel like a rebirth. He would have a new life. Unfortunately, he had the same problems.
He collapsed on his bed. He needed a plan to get Tara back. Once they were together, they could reunite with the boys as a real family.
He had been a shit father. He changed the occasional wet diaper and fed Thomas occasionally, but he never played with his boys or made time for them. He was following in his father's footsteps all right.
His eyes shut and he fell into a deep dreamless sleep.
Jax didn't wake up. It was more of a resurfacing. He felt like he was at the bottom of a big deep pool and he was slowly swimming to the surface. Along the way, he saw images of Tara naked with Ryland.
He opened his eyes and his body jerked violently as he returned to full wakefulness. He stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out his life.
Once again, he wondered what SAMCRO thought of his escape from death. Did they think he was a coward for not killing himself? Did they believe he had his magic trick of an escape from death planned all along?
He sat up with a start. He realized that he didn't care what his MC thought. Whatever he had felt for his so-called brothers was gone completely.
He didn't fault Happy. Give him an order or a murder to do. All the killings that he'd done didn't weigh on him. He didn't see things as right or wrong. He was a true sociopath. That made him a perfect MC soldier.
Chibs talked a good game, but cold hard reality told a different story. He had let Jimmy O'Phelan run him out of Ireland and take Fiona and his daughter Carrie as his own. What kind of man would tuck his tail or his dick between his legs and scurry away like a scared little mouse to the United States? You fight for your family.
After that trip to Ireland, Chibs promised to see his family more. He killed Jimmy shortly after that, but still he made no effort to reconcile with Fiona despite claiming to love her or to see his daughter also despite claiming to love. He never flew them from Ireland to see him or went to see them. He spent his down time drinking and banging crow-eaters. He was a downscale middle-aged frat boy.
Tig was the worst of his brothers that had been long-time members. Tig killed Donna accidentally and he killed Veronica Pope also accidentally in a stupid misguided attempt to get payback for Clay's shooting. If he hadn't been so hot headed, Opie and his daughter would still be alive. And yet, being the good brother, he had saved Tig's life over and over again.
When Tig's daughter was burned to death in front of him, it hurt him for a few days. Once he killed Pope, he was over her death completely. He was still heartbroken over his dog Missy's death.
He loved that dog more than he did his kids. Like Chibs, he spent his down-time drinking and banging crow-eaters. He had recently begun a relationship with Venus. Once the novelty of being with a transsexual wore off, he would be on to the next kink. It had happened more times than he could remember.
Looking at his long-time brothers, he wondered why he ever thought they were worth more to him than Tara. Who was by his side now? Tara. Whether or not they got back together, they would always share a bond forged in high school and sealed by their boys. He might lose her. He deserved to lose her, but that was old Jax. New Jax was going to be worthy of her. New Jax was going to get her back.
He stumbled into the bathroom and flinched when he got a look at his face. He didn't blame Tara for choosing Ryland over him. He was bleary-eyed, his face was puffy and he had dark shadows under his eyes despite the 12 hours he'd slept.
"Cas, I look like hell," Jax moaned.
"Jax, you do not look like hell. References show hell is thought to be a fiery pit or a cold unbearable place."
"It's a figure of speech," Jax muttered under his breath.
"I have updated my data base to reflect that."
No wonder Tara didn't want to have sex with him. He was not looking Jax Teller hot. He had chiseled abs and rock hard muscles. That hadn't changed. He just needed an improvement.
Jax began looking through the drawers under the sink.
"Cas, I need a razor."
"I can get you a razor. If you wish to shave, I can instruct a robot to shave you. Ryland says the shaving performed by the robot under my instruction does an excellent job."
"How long would it take?"
"That depends on the area."
"I meant how long would it take for the robot to come to me and shave me."
"Again that depends on the area you want to have shaved."
"Just my face."
"Based on the amount of hair currently in the designated shaving area, it should take between twenty and thirty minutes. The robot can provide a perfect shave and a barber shop quality experience."
"How soon can the robot get here?"
"Two minutes. The personal service robots are in a storage area and they do not move quickly because there could be accidents with the occupants if they moved too quickly."
"I'd like to have the robot shave my face now."
"I know you will be pleased with the service. The robot is at your door."
"That was fast."
"I sent the robot when you asked me about a razor in anticipation that you would want the excellent shaving service provided by the robot I instruct."
"Open door," Jax said.
A tall dark purple cylinder rolled itself into the room.
"Stand away from the robot," Cas said. "It converts. You are still too close."
Jax moved four feet away from the robot. He watched in amazement as the cylinder transformed itself into a high tech barber's chair.
"Climb into the chair. The personal shaving unit will swing up and over your face. Shut your eyes and relax. Allow the robot to guide your head as it works."
Jax got into the chair and put his head in the head rest. A smaller cylinder swung out from underneath the chair and up and over Jax's face.
Cas hadn't oversold the experience. When he shut his eyes, he was transported back to the one and only time he'd had a shave at Floyd's (Charming's barber shop and site of Jax throwing Kohn through one of its windows). It was the afternoon of Charming High's prom. He wanted to look really good for the prom, so he and Opie went to Floyd's for a shave and a haircut. He couldn't remember the name of Opie's date. Opie went through a lot of girls until he found Donna.
He and Opie kept running their hands over their faces marveling at how smooth a shave Floyd had given them. When he and Opie got into their black tuxes, he felt like a grown up for the first time in his life. He was just getting ready to start prospecting for SAMCRO and he believed his future would be full of happiness.
"The robot can also do manicures and pedicures," Cas said.
"I don't need that done."
"If you need the service in the future, you know it is available to you. The robot can also do haircuts. Have you noticed Tara's beautiful haircut?"
"Tara always looks beautiful to me."
"Her hair looked awful. I reviewed available photo sources of current hairstyles, matched it with Tara's face shape and then guided the robot through the haircut. You should tell her how nice her hair looks. Tara says men do not notice haircuts."
Jax had a moment's hesitation when the robot brought the straight edged razor to his face, but after the first scraping he relaxed. The robot provided a flawless smooth shave complete with hot towels and warm shaving cream.
"Please check that the shave is to your satisfaction," Cas said when the robot finished Jax's shave.
Jax ran his hand over his face. It was the first time in more than twelve years that he hadn't had some facial hair.
"It's perfect."
"If you remove yourself from the robot chair, the robot can leave."
Jax stood up, the robot transformed back into a cylinder and left, the door closing behind it.
"I am glad that you are pleased with the robot's services."
"Thanks, Cas."
He didn't really need to thank Cas, but manners were one of the few things Gemma had drilled into his head outside all the MC shit.
Jax decided to finish his transformation with a cold shower to help wake him up. He pulled on clean underwear and jeans. He stood and looked over the collection of shirts still thinking about the prom. He picked a V-neck black T-shirt as a nod back to his high school self in that black tux. He and Opie had been the only ones in black.
He took another look in the bathroom mirror. That was much better. He looked refreshed and the shave took ten years off his face. He looked Jax Teller hot now. It hit him then. Gone was the Jax Teller that could walk into a room and have his pick of girls. He could still pick them out, he just couldn't have sex with them. He could only have sex with Paralorns or hybrids. He was going to stay faithful to Tara. He just would have preferred it to be his choice and not dictated by alien biology.
He didn't accept it as fact yet. It may have been true of other hybrids, but he had always been different. It didn't matter. Tara was the only woman for him.
With his clean-shaven face, he looked like he fit into society. It was something that he had never wanted to do. He liked being an anarchist and he thought he was better than those law-abiding citizens with their dull boring lives.
Despite being done with the MC, there was just something about living a nice suburban life with family dinners every night that set his teeth on edge. It would be like a living death. There had to be something else. He had plenty of time to figure that out with his new enhanced alien life span.
He walked out into the living area and found Tara reading a romance novel. Her hair did look different now that Cas brought it to his attention. It grazed her shoulders and fell in layers that brought out her eyes and cheekbones.
"I can't remember the last time you were clean-shaven," she said, putting down her book.
"I can. It was prom and you had on a red dress almost the same color as the top you have on now. You were so beautiful. All the other girls were in pale puffy dresses, but you had on that red dress that fit close with just a little cleavage and then it flared out a bit at the waist."
"I can't believe you remember that."
"I wanted to keep that memory close to my heart," Jax said. "I can even remember some of the songs we danced to. We slow-danced to "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys."
Tara instructed Cas to play the song.
Jax held out his hands to her. She went to him, put her hands in his and they danced. At first they were rusty, shuffling around, stepping on each other's feet and laughing. Suddenly, they found their rhythm, moving and gliding together in perfect sync. Tara rested her head on Jax's chest just as she had on that prom night that seemed so long ago.
"This feels so good," Tara whispered looking into Jax's eyes.
Jax lifted the fingers of her left hand and kissed them lightly, neither missing a step. They locked eyes and continued dancing, both transported back to a simpler time when they were so in love, they couldn't imagine life without the other.
"Is the song a lot longer than I remembered?" Jax asked, breaking the moment and bringing them both back to reality.
"No. I didn't tell Cas to quit playing the song," Tara said with a smile. "It's on an endless loop until . . ."
"There's a news update on this morning's story," Cas said interrupting.
They stopped dancing.
"There's been a development while you've been sleeping."
"How bad is it?"
"I told you it was going to happen. Althea Jarry got arrested this morning. Cas, show the Althea Jarry story and put the latest news at the end of the story. Cas put together the news story using all available sources."
They looked at one of the screens that descended from the ceiling.
Althea Jarry was standing in front of the sheriff's department Charming Morada substation, formerly Charming PD. She was about to give a press update on the manhunt for Jax Teller. Suddenly two black and white police cars screeched into view as if on cue by some unseen director. Officers jumped out and walked up to Althea.
"Althea Jarry, you are under arrest," an officer said and he pulled out a piece of paper and began reading a list of charges that went back as far as the statue of limitations would allow.
She stood there just staring at the officers, clearly surprised by this development.
Another officer read her her rights, slapped cuffs on her wrists and put her into the back of a police car. Charming had a few holding cells, but all major arrests were processed through the county jail system.
Hale had been standing off to one side wearing a deputy sheriff's uniform. This version of Hale had a little longer hair and seemed less intense. A small measure of his former surfer self was back.
Jacob Hale, wearing a perfectly cut navy blue suit, stepped to the microphone and called for quiet.
"I am Jacob Hale mayor of Charming. Today marks a turning point or should I say a returning point in Charming law enforcement. With the arrest of Althea Jarry for a variety of charges including corruption and taking bribes, the city council met in closed session this morning where we were advised by the county of this morning's action. The city council intends to sever the agreement with the sheriff's department for the provision of law enforcement services. Charming will once again have its own police department.
"The county has agreed to this and we are all parting on good terms. That is important because our agencies need to cooperate and provide mutual aid. The terms of the agreement are being worked out and should be ready for public review within three days. It's a sad day for county law enforcement, but I can't stress enough the professionalism of the officers who undertook this delicate internal investigation. Now, I'd like to introduce Detective Captain Hale Hawthorne who led the task force and will takeover the Charming Morada substation until the city has in place a police chief and police force."
Hale walked to the mike in his deputy sheriff's uniform. There were a few gasps at how much he looked like David Hale.
"First, I'd like to say what you are all thinking—I look a lot like David Hale who died in the line for duty for Charming PD. I don't mind the comparison and I hope as you get to know me and see my work, I will establish my own identity.
"This investigation has been on-going. Once Lieutenant Jarry was assigned to Charming by the elected sheriff of the county, who was also arrested a few hours ago for domestic violence, solicitation of prostitution and suspected DUI, we noticed that her illegal activities seemed to show a sharp rise due to a relationship between Jarry and the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. More information will be provided at the appropriate time. Are there any questions?"
"Do you suspect that Jarry helped serial killer Jax Teller escape from under the noses of law enforcement?"
"We haven't come to any conclusion yet on how Jax Teller managed to pull off his getaway. I will provide updates as information becomes available."
"Are there other sheriff's deputies you suspect?"
"I can't comment on that."
The reporters left and Althea Jarry was driven to the county jail for booking.
The new footage began. It began with a close up shot of the same woman who had gone into Scoops to interview SAMCRO. This time she was wearing a hot pink suit with a skirt so short if she walked she would be in danger of a wardrobe malfunction.
"I'm Diana DeNutz from channel 5 K-RAP TV and we have just come into possession of underground parking lot footage that will show you just how cozy the relationship between the violent outlaw motorcycle gang the Sons of Anarchy and Althea Jarry was. If you have kids or old people who don't remember about sex, you may want to have them leave the room. We've blurred out the naughty bits with a very small blurred dot because we didn't need to use a larger one."
The news footage showed a surprisingly high definition video recording of Chibs having sex with Althea Jarry while a member of SAMCRO stood nearby. It ended quickly leaving viewers and no doubt Althea Jarry unsatisfied.
"I think it's safe to say the Sons of Anarchy were in bed with Althea Jarry or at least one of them was. This is Diana DeNutz from channel 5 K-RAP TV with another exclusive."
"That's the end of the news update," Cas said.
"Well done, Cas," Tara said.
"Chibs," Tara said.
Jax shook his head and they both began to laugh.
"How do you think Chibs is going to take it?" Tara asked when she finally quit laughing.
"I don't know and I don't care."
"You don't care?" Tara frowned as she studied Jax's face.
"No. I let it all go. I realized that the guys weren't worth all my time and devotion. I know that Gemma and JT raised me to believe in the club like some raise their kids in a religion, but it's all wrong. I have nothing to show for it. I left the club in a good place, but I know that Chibs will fuck it up sooner or later. It looks like the answer may be in on that one and it's sooner."
"Are you really over it just like that? The MC killed your father."
"What would vengeance do? I would have voted to kill him to save the club if I had been in their places."
"You're different."
"Is that a good thing? Isn't that what you want?"
"I want you to be you, whoever that is."
"Which one will you fall in love with?"
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized he was taking the wrong tone. It was just when he looked at her, he thought of her having sex with Ryland and it stirred up anger and jealousy. Just like that, the moment was spoiled and he had no one to blame but himself.
"I haven't eaten yet. I was thinking of fish and chips. The robots really do a great job with them," Tara said, completely ignoring his comment.
"Yeah, that's good."
Tara ordered the food.
"I'm sorry," Jax said. "I know I shouldn't put pressure on you. I know you were with Ryland last night. I think about it and the jealousy just comes out. Cas didn't tell me. I saw you when I was walking back from the kitchen."
"Cas told you she can't tell you where I am anymore."
"She told me you would take the robots away from her and would instruct them yourself."
"Cas offline now."
"The robots are still cooking and may need further instruction."
"Understood. Offline now."
"Cas doesn't understand humor or jokes. I did tell her I would take the robots away when I found out she told you and about Ry and me. I wouldn't really do it. I just wanted to make sure she understood how serious I was about her not telling you where I am. It's none of anyone's business but mine where I spend the night."
"How long would you have waited to tell me about you and Ryland?"
"I don't know. At least when I was with him, we weren't together. I didn't cheat on you."
Jax groaned.
"I thought we had finally moved past that."
"Cas online now. Instruct cooking robots."
"I am now online," Cas said.
"I'm saying that I'm not cheating on you," Tara said. "You know that he and I are together and I've been completely honest about my relationship with him."
"Don't expect me to ever be OK with you sleeping with another man. I know I have no right to make demands after all the bad shit I've done. I know we have a long way to go to fix our relationship if it's even fixable."
"Fighting about my relationship with Ryland isn't going to fix anything."
"I know. I know. I just want things to go back to normal."
"Jax, we never had normal. We never really had time just to be together after I came back to Charming."
"Because the MC was always in the way," Jax said.
"I didn't say that."
"You don't have to. It's the truth, but you bear some fault. You were so afraid of me leaving you over the club, you never spoke up. Maybe if you had done that, I would have grown to see the problems with the club."
"And what about Gemma? How was I supposed to deal with her? She would never have let you leave the club or town. She would force you to choose her and the club or me."
"Maybe that's the choice you should have made. Gotten the hell out of Charming after I rescued you from Salazar."
"I think we need to agree that we both made mistakes and there's no point dredging them up. Let's just start fresh."
"Except for one thing I need from you. I want you to start telling me about what bothers you. Don't expect me to know and don't expect me to react in a certain way. You need to be more open about your feelings."
"I can do that."
"I'll do the same."
"This is good. Us talking about what we need from the other. Right now, I am dying to touch your face."
"Tara, you never need permission to touch me . . . anywhere," he said, his voice husky.
Suddenly she felt shy about touching his face. She lifted her fingers and gently stroked his cheek with her thumb.
"So smooth," she said. She stood on tiptoe and rubbed her cheek against his.
"Ummm . . . It feels like heaven. I always loved you clean shaven."
"Why didn't you tell me that?"
"I thought it was part of the MC."
"Not everyone had facial hair in the MC. You should have spoken up."
"You're right. I will speak up."
"Think we have time for another dance before lunch is ready?"
"Tell Cas the song you want to play."
"Cas play the song "Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse." Jax replied.
"That was also one of the songs they played," Tara said, still surprised that he had remembered such a small detail.
"I told you that I remembered all the information because I hold it close to my heart."
Jax half-closed his eyes as they danced together. He was hit with love that started from the ground and climbed up his body to wash over him. He loved Tara, but it never felt like this. The intensity was off the charts. Maybe it was the alien upgrade or the song was connecting him with his younger self who saw a life full of promise, but he couldn't remember loving Tara with this much passion. He was brought him back to earth when Cas told them lunch was ready.
As they ate fish and chips, Tara explained that he had one last thing to do before he could go out into the world: he needed to memorize all the information that the Paralorns had so painstakingly put together from his birth certificate, social security card and report cards to his work history. There were even a few school pictures that matched the schools he attended.
"I need to memorize all this?"
"Yes. It's been tailored so you remember what a typical person would remember. Maybe a couple of teachers, maybe a couple of classmates. It's all bullet proof. No one will be able to pierce this ID even the government will find that it's real. Hale's ID has withstood a lot of scrutiny."
"He's really going to get to be police chief finally?"
"Yes."
"I think he'll do a good job. I'm seeing Hale differently too," Jax said. He ran his hand over his face, still getting used to not having facial hair. "I saw him as this uptight Boy Scout who wanted to stop SAMCRO. I thought of us as white knights going out and protecting Charming. We protected them all right. We shook them down for protection money and it was less to protect them from others and more about protecting them from us. I believed all that shit about protecting the town when it really needed protection from us. How the hell could it have taken me so long to see this?"
"We can't fix the past. We just need to learn from it and move on."
"A lot of that has been you. You've really helped me see the club for what it really is and not what I've been brainwashed into believing."
"I'm worried that you are going to feel lost without the club."
"I will find a purpose for my life. It may take me a little time, but I will figure it out."
"I'm so glad to hear that. We need to do pictures for your driver's license and passport. When Ry gets back, he will alter your fingerprints. There's so much heat on to find you, you are going to get stopped. Since to humans you don't look exactly like Jax Teller, that will help, but we need the ID and you need to know your background story. I don't want you to end up in jail while they try to figure out who you are."
"I'm sure there are multiple hits out on me."
"Donna and Opie are part of your background. You went out with Donna a couple of times and then she met Opie and dumped you. You have had an on again mostly off again relationship with me since we met at a bookstore. It's all in the folder."
"What happens if one of us makes a mistake or slips up? Won't that sink the others?"
"You can't slip up. Worst case, blame drugs for the lapse. Hale's also helping. He'll be a reference for you. If it looks like they are going to take you, tell them to call him. His cell number is also in the folder, you need to memorize it."
"Was that his idea or yours?"
"His. The whole death thing changed him a bit. He sees you as being poisoned by Gemma and he thinks you deserve a chance to make something of your life."
"With all the bad shit I've done, the people I've killed, I'm just surprised Hale is willing to stick his neck out like that for me."
"Hale's a good guy and it's not like the people you killed were fine upstanding citizens. Things aren't as black and white to Hale as they used to be and all of us hybrids really stick together."
Jax looked at Tara sharply. He always suspected there was more than to Tara and Hale's relationship than she told him. Until Ryland, he was the only guy who ever made him jealous.
"I know you like to do physical things. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. The workout room converts into a training room complete with fighting robots."
"The robots fight each other?"
"I guess they could, but they fight us. I've learned a ton of self defense stuff from them and with my alien upgrade, I could kick the butts of two men at once without a bruise."
"I have to see that to believe it."
"Let me change into exercise clothes first and then we'll go."
"I want to fight them too."
"You've got workout clothes in your room. I'll meet you downstairs."
Tara beat him downstairs and that wasn't all that she was beating. When he walked into the room, he saw that she was dressed completely in black from her T-shirt to her tennis shoes and she was beating up on a robot that looked like a person only the face didn't look real. It was just painted on. She kicked the robot in the groin and delivered hard hitting elbows to the midsection before driving the palm of her hand into the robot's face. It was a blow that would have broken a human's nose.
"You look so sexy," Jax said.
"Only now?"
"Always. I also forgot to tell you how much I like your new haircut."
"Cas, stop robots," Tara said as a robot began to circle her getting ready to attack. "Cas talks too much. I got this haircut shortly after I returned to life. That means I've had it since I stopped time out on the freeway."
"You remind me of Mrs. Peel in The Avengers," Jax said, trying again to charm her.
Tara smiled at the compliment.
"Now, you're trying to seduce me."
Jax, also clad in black workout clothes, stepped up into the large padded area that had been cleared of all the exercise equipment.
"How am I doing with that?" he asked walking up to her.
"I'm dressed and not underneath you. That pretty much says it all."
"You wound me with your words."
"I'm stronger and tougher. Try to attack and hurt me."
"Tara, I don't want to hurt you."
"You can't hurt me because I will kick your ass."
"How about you attacking me?"
Tara didn't answer, instead she threw herself on Jax catching him off guard and they fell to the thick mat. She elbowed him in the stomach, kneed him in the groin and jumped to her feet before he had a chance to react.
Typically, he would need several seconds to recover, but he discovered that new Jax felt no pain
Jax got to his feet and dove at Tara catching her by the legs and bringing her to the ground. He stretched out on top of her body.
"Comfortable?" she asked.
"I'm getting there."
Tara threw her body up and over his, rolling him underneath her before he could react.
"That's better," she said.
"I'm OK with both," Jax said. Feeling Tara's body pressed against his felt both familiar and strange. Maybe it was the human and alien parts together. All he knew was he never wanted a woman as much as he wanted Tara at that moment.
She had his arms pinned to his side. He easily broke her grip and rolled with her a couple of times on the mat, stopping when he was back on top again.
"It was such a good idea to come down here," Jax said.
He got up and held his hand to Tara to help her up. Once she was on her feet, he pulled her into his arms and began kissing her. She was both familiar and new and he felt almost as intoxicated as he'd been last night after all the indigo just from kissing her. He broke the kiss, needing to cool himself down.
His lips moved to Tara's neck, lightly brushing her neck. He heard Tara gasp. Some things weren't new. Tara loved having her neck kissed and just brushing his lips there drove her wild. She pulled herself closer to him, so close they were almost standing on top of each other. She was warm and yielding. His lips moved to her ear and he bit her earlobe.
"I have some bad news for you," he whispered.
"What's that?" she asked. She opened her eyes and looked at him puzzled.
"I'm not going to make love to you no matter how much you beg as long as you're still with Ryland," he said before releasing her and taking a step back to put a little distance between them. "I'm not as evolved as Ryland. I won't share you with him."
"Really? You mean that?" she demanded.
"Yeah."
Tara looked at him surprised by the turn this situation had taken.
"Jax Teller turning down sex? That's a first."
"I'm not Jax Teller anymore, remember? I'm Jax Turner."
"I'm just surprised."
"I do have self-control. I was very patient back in high school."
She nodded. "You were," she whispered. "Even if I beg, huh?"
"Even if you beg," he said. "You have my terms. Break it off with Ryland if you want to have sex with me."
"You play dirty."
"Back to robot fighting," Jax said. He wasn't sure how much longer his self-control would continue to hold up and getting the shit beat out of him by robots seemed like a good way to dampen his desire. He told Cas to start the robots and to have them attack him.
Tara stood there, dazed by this unexpected show of self-control on Jax's part. She dropped to the mat and watched as Jax attacked the robots over and over again with mostly the same results—the robots beating him and throwing him to the ground violently.
"Cas, stop robots," Tara said. "The robots have a training mode. The Paralorns have fighting down to a science. You learn how to deliver the most effective blows."
"Didn't think to mention this eight ass-kickings ago?"
A smile played at the corners of her mouth.
"You aren't the only one who can play dirty. I enjoyed watching you get your butt kicked."
"Sexual frustration isn't a good look on you, Tara."
"I'm going to take a shower and change."
"Better make it a cold shower," Jax called as she turned and began walking out the door.
He continued to practice with the robots, growing stronger and more effective with every blow. The new alien strength made him feel like a superhero. Finally exhausted, he went to his room. He left the door open to his room and the bathroom just in case Tara wanted a peek.
He had come up with this strategy to get Tara back when they were rolling around on the mat. He would use sex against her and break her with her desire for him. It didn't matter what Ryland did to her in bed. He knew he was better. He may not be Jax Teller anymore, but he was Jax Turner and he knew all the ways to please a woman.
By showing restraint with Tara, he was also showing her that he was capable of self-control. He wasn't a mindless sex machine—well not anymore. She would see that he could turn her down no matter how much he desired her and he could use that same self-control to stay faithful to her. It was a brilliant plan.
Jax soaped up his body. Men underestimated the power of a good shower and a great smelling body wash in seducing a woman.
He felt good despite the repeated beatings he had taken from the robots. He probably shouldn't have started out trying to fight both of them at once though. As the water cascaded off his face, he saw Tara standing in his room watching him. He was getting results quicker than he expected. She never could resist him when he was showering. He got out of the shower and wrapped a white towel around his waist in a pretense of modesty.
"Are you here to admire my naked body, plead for sex or deliver bad news?" Jax asked.
"The last one," she said.
"Oh, shit," Jax said. He hadn't been serious. He expected Tara to tell him she called Ryland and ended their whatever it was they had and she was now his. He might have known she wouldn't be that easy to seduce despite the kissing and the shower.
"It's past bad, not current bad news." She sat on his bed and looked up at him. "When Gemma left Charming, she was pregnant. She had the baby . . ." Tara said, her voice broke and for a second her composure slipped. "There's just no easy way to say this and I thought it was better if I told you than if you saw it on the news."
"Tell me."
"She had the baby. A girl. She choked the life out of her, stuffed the umbilical cord in the infant's mouth and put her in garbage bags. She kept her in a little suitcase at a storage unit owned by Ima's father. When she didn't pay the rental, he opened the unit and found the baby. It's all over the news. Cas has the story when you're ready to see it."
"Jesus Christ," Jax said, stunned by this news. He dropped to the bed to sit beside Tara. His mother was a horrible person, but this news from Tara launched her into a whole new category of evil.
She reached out and put her hand on his arm.
"There's one more thing."
"Oh, hell."
"Your mother kept a journal and included there were letters from the baby's father. She told him the baby was stillborn. The father was Wayne Unser."
Up Next for Jax Is Really Alive
Jax is shocked when he discovers the Paralorns true end game and Tara's part in it and it isn't what you think. He meets with Meg and gets another surprise and that's not what you think. He continues to work at winning Tara's heart, mind and body. And something really bad happens.
And yes, it is going to be another awesome chapter! Just shorter.
Sex. Yes there will be sex scenes, but in the interest of reader participation why don't you private message me a sex scene between Tara and Jax, Tara and Hale or Tara and Ryland or do it as a review if you are really proud of your efforts. If you do it as a guest, your name is never revealed. If I use any of it, I'll give you credit if you want it, but I won't if you don't. Now, if I then go on to write a sex scene and you don't like it and that's probably what's going to happen, you will have no one to blame but yourselves for not helping me. It can be explicit or very vague and prim. I will edit as I think necessary.
So, get busy and write a sex scene. The scene must contain only Jax and Tara. No threesomes, (or any some that is greater than two), animals, bondage gear, cordless drills, poison ivy, scorpions or violence and you must be over 18. I won't take points off for misspellings. Go for it. And if you can't write a sex scene, you can at least do a review. See how I worked that in there?
Spend two minutes trying to write a sex scene and you will realize how hard they are to write and how truly unsexy they are. And if I get writer's block and can't write the sex scenes, you will be partly to blame for not helping me.
What's Up Next for Me
I will post a Tara's Story chapter next week with a revised chapter of Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas. I am planning to post a revised chapter of Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas through the New Year.
I wanted to post Tara's Story and the Christmas story today, but this chapter ran long and I couldn't shorten it since I said in Tara's Story I would reveal the name of Gemma's baby's father in this chapter of JaxAlive and I needed to keep my word.