17
JAX IS REALLY ALIVE
Chapter 13 Recap
Jax finds a list of names JT wrote down of all the members present when he delivered his ultimatum to the club—pack up and leave Charming or he would end the club by aiding law enforcement. He wonders if JT announced his intentions to the club, knowing they would come after and kill him because he lacked the courage to kill himself. This way he could die a martyr.
If presented with the same situation as president of SAMCRO, he would have called a mayhem vote on the member. The whole idea of the club is that it's bigger than its individual members. He can't blame them for voting to kill his father. Old Jax believes that he has a right to kill them because they were behind killing his father. New Jax sees the other side and can't fault them for making the same decision he would have made in their places.
He realizes that Gemma couldn't have existed without the MC. It was her identity and it gave her a social position. Tara is different. She was never with him because he belonged to the MC.
He sees his brothers realistically. Happy is psycho and kills without remorse. Chibs and Tig are downscale middle-aged frat boys who live for pussy, weed and alcohol.
Jax knows he wasn't a good father or a good husband. He has to make changes to be the person he wants to be, the father his kids deserve and the husband Tara deserves.
He wants to talk to Tara, but discovers that Cas has been forbidden to tell him where she is or Tara will take instructing the robots away from her. Cas's identity is tied up in instructing robots and she refuses to risk Tara taking the robots away.
Jax decides to make a change and Cas sends him a robot who provides him a shave comparable with a barber shop. Jax remembers the first and only time he ever had a barber shop shave. He and Opie were going to the prom and they wanted to look good for their dates.
Tara and Jax remember prom and dance to two of the songs played then.
After lunch, Tara and Jax go downstairs to fight with robots. The gym converts into a padded fight area complete with two fighting robots. Jax finds the sight of Tara beating up robots arousing, but it doesn't take much to arouse him. They roll around on the mats and kiss. Abruptly, Jax breaks the embrace and tells Tara that he has bad news for her; he won't have sex with her as long as she's with Ryland. She's surprised by this and can't quite believe it. Jax stays strong and doesn't give in. Tara leaves him in the gym after watching the robots kick his ass many times.
Jax takes another sexy shower. Tara is again, in his room, watching him. He wraps a tall around his waist and asks if she's in his room to admire his naked body, beg for sex or give him bad news.
Tara delivers the bad news. It's all over TV. Ima's father owns a storage unit that Gemma secretly used for the storage of a dead baby. Unser was the father.
Author's Note I was originally going to post a Tara's Story chapter and a revised first chapter of Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas, but I got stung by a scorpion three times and I was already sick. Previously, I was stung five times by a scorpion. That hurt for awhile, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I iced it and after a couple of hours, it didn't hurt much. This time, I got stung three times and it hurt much more. The pain lasted for more than a day without improvement and my thumb where I got stung was swollen and stiff. Scorpions choose how much venom to use just like venomous snakes. Then, I was still sick with a cold after I got over most of the scorpion sting. While I was suffering with it, I got the idea for this chapter. This is really the only place it would work. So, I'm doing this short chapter and next week, I'll do Tara's Story and Tara's Christmas story. This isn't the chapter I mentioned at the end of the last Jax Alive chapter that I was going to do. It does advance the plot in several important ways. I promised to post chapters and this was the best I could do this week.
Chapter 14 Bonus Chapter
He remembered hearing his mother say on more than one occasion that baby girls should be strangled at birth. He thought she was joking. Turned out there was more truth to her words than anyone suspected.
"Unser? She was underage and he was a cop. That could have cost him his badge."
"It kind of explains the connection between them and why he did what she wanted him to do. He felt guilty for having sex with her when she was underage," Tara said.
"I don't think I can be surprised about anything anymore."
"Hale will get us a copy of Gemma's journal in case you want to read it. The original has to be kept as part of the death investigation for the baby."
Jax shook his head.
"What is it with my family and journals?"
"I am surprised that Gemma kept a journal. I didn't think she was that introspective."
"It may take me awhile before I want to read it. I may never want to read it."
"Do you mind if I read it?"
"I don't have secrets from you anymore. It's all part of the new Jax Turner. I think I'm going to go back and fight with robots some more. I just need to hit something until I feel better. I don't know why anything bad Gemma did still surprises me, but to kill a newborn . . ."
"I have to go to the medical unit and do some things for Ryland. I'll walk down with you."
Jax dropped his towel and began to pull on his underwear. Tara turned around so she wouldn't see the show.
"Really, Tara, you don't have to turn your back while I dress. You've seen it all before."
"I'm being respectful."
"To me? To you? To Ryland? You don't have a problem looking at me when I'm showering."
"I averted my eyes from the naughty parts," she said, trying hard not to smile.
"Is he better in bed?" Jax demanded.
"Let the whole Ryland thing go."
"So, he isn't a better lover?"
"Not everything is about sex."
Jax wasn't convinced of that. If you get the sex right, you got the relationship right. He remembered the first time they had sex after she got out on bail. It hadn't felt right. The connection wasn't there. She hadn't felt like Tara. It wasn't until the last time they had sex that he felt he had Tara back. The boys were with his guys and they had an hour before Patterson was due to arrive. (Patterson and Tara's attorney had worked out a deal to get the murder charges against her dropped and, in exchange, Jax would plead guilty to supplying the gun used in the school shooting. This is all from SOA season 6)
"I don't know why you're still with him."
He pulled on the pants and decided against the T-shirt. It would just get soaked in sweat and he would end up stripping it off. Besides, he wanted Tara to see his chest and abs. A lot of hard work went into them.
"Of course, what woman in her right mind wants to be with a man who is handsome, good and treats her well when she could be with you—a man who can't even remember all the women he's been with?"
"That's low, Tara," Jax said. He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to face him. "I spent ten years drowning my heartbreak inside every woman I could get my hands on because I couldn't have the only woman I've ever loved."
"That doesn't mean I have to be with you. I get to have a life and I get to choose if it's with you, Ryland, neither or someone else. You shouldn't want me to be with you out of a sense of duty or pity."
He felt like she'd hit him, or more accurately, kneed him in the balls—hard.
"You would be with me out of pity?" he asked, raising his voice. "What do you think I am? Some pathetic loser?"
"Of course not," she said too quickly.
"Son of a bitch. You do think I'm a pathetic loser."
"Jax, what the hell is wrong with you? You're making problems when there aren't any. Give me some time and if you can't do that, you don't really want me to be with you."
"You're right," Jax said, running his hand over his face. He was beginning to like the feel of his face without facial hair. "I am making problems and picking at you because of Gemma. It's not your fault my mother was a despicable human being. I thought Clay was the bad influence. Maybe it was the other way around. I'm sorry. I'm unleashing my mood on you and it's not your fault."
"I like this Jax Turner."
Jax reached for her and they wrapped their arms around each other.
"Remember back in high school when we had only been together a few months. We would stand and kiss so much, you would get dizzy and I would make sure a wall was close." (Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas)
"I remember," she said softly.
"What I never told you because it wouldn't be cool was I was dizzy too."
"That's so sweet."
Tara's eyes always reminded him of melted chocolate when she was really emotional. He tilted her face up and kissed her. She was warm and soft and he'd forgotten how much he enjoyed simply kissing her. He had been focused on where kissing led rather than just kissing.
Old habits were hard to break. They were only a few steps from his bed and it wouldn't take much to move them there. He wasn't sure his willpower would make it if he tried to kiss her on the bed. Sexual self-control was something he hadn't had much experience with except in high school with Tara.
He might have to rethink his strategy of trying to break her with her desire for him as the key to getting her to end her relationship with Ryland. New Jax's voice kicked in and told him to suck it up and deal with sexual deprivation. It wouldn't kill him and he could use the practice in self-control.
Jax broke the kiss off. There was a limit to how long he could kiss her without sliding his hands up under her shirt and he'd just reached it.
"This control thing is interesting," Tara said. "It's kind of sexy." She smiled and her eyes sparkled with mischief.
"You are enjoying my torment."
"I am. You told me sexual frustration wasn't a good look for me. I think it looks really hot on you."
Jax laughed because if he didn't, he'd have Tara on the bed under him, her pants tugged down . . .
"New Tara . . ."
Jax noticed her eyes lost focus and her knees began to buckle. He swung her up and into his arms.
For a few seconds, he was back in his kitchen and he was holding Tara's cold lifeless body in his arms. She was gone. He couldn't believe he'd lost her. Not dead. Not dead. Not dead. He felt again that rising panic and soul scarring grief from that day.
He blinked and the moment was broken. This Tara was alive. He lowered her gently to the bed. He stroked her face and softly called her name. She remained unresponsive.
He didn't panic. He remembered she told him that sometimes she would go into a coma after a time jump. He needed a doctor to evaluate her.
"Cas, Tara is having a medical emergency. I need to talk to Ryland."
Less than five seconds later, a screen descended from the ceiling with Ryland appearing.
"What's wrong with Tara?"
"She seemed to faint or lose consciousness. I thought it might be the time jump thing."
"That's probably it, but we need to check. Cas doesn't take orders from a screen, so you need to tell her you need a Tara pack from the medical unit. I'll explain after you tell her."
Jax gave Ryland's instructions to Cas.
"Tara's gone into the coma like state several times. For Paralorns, it's normal that if we get really sick, our bodies go into a hibernation mode and it fights until it gets better and we wake up. It begins happening from birth so kids and adults know that it's going to happen. We get a couple of hours warning, so we have enough time to tell others and get to a safe place to recover.
"Hybrids don't seem to get as much warning. I think Tara's coma-like state is her body's way of healing. When she comes out of this state, she's weak and it takes her awhile to get her strength back. I've come up with a way to get her better faster with supplements. She'll move from this coma-like state to a sleep state and in eight to ten hours, she'll feel great."
One of the fighting robots walked into the room with a large thick envelope and handed it to Jax. It paused for a few seconds and when it didn't receive additional instructions, it left the room.
"Open the envelope and lay the contents out on your bed."
Jax pulled out what looked like a fabric tie belt, several plastic bags each containing a bright colored liquid and a smaller bag that contained colored capsules.
"Done."
"You are going to need to expose her skin at the navel area, then take the thing that looks like a cloth belt and locate the white circle. Put that over her navel. It has to be in contact with her bare skin to work."
Once the circle came into contact with Tara's skin, the circle glowed white.
"That's a standard medical monitor," Ryland explained. "Through a sort of wi-fi connection, I have the results in front of me," Ryland paused and looked down for several seconds. "It's just as we thought. It's a time jump complication plus she gave blood, so she's very weak."
Jax took some of the blame for Tara's condition. He should have made her rest and not let her fight with the robots. Then again, there was no stopping Tara when her mind was made up.
"We fought with the robots too," Jax added.
Ryland shook his head.
"She should have known better, but you know how stubborn she can be."
"Amen to that," Jax said drily.
Ryland laughed.
The belt displayed four circles, one each of red, green, blue and yellow in a line each next to the other.
"Take the bags that match the monitor colors. Those are the bags she needs."
Jax picked up the bags.
"This is really easy. See the white circle on the bag."
"Yes."
"Take the bag and go to Tara's hands. It doesn't matter the order or the position. The color is the only choice that matters. On the back of her hand, you will find different veins and arteries. Find one that you can feel and put the white circle over it. Give it a second and you should see a suction begin. That lets you know it's in the right spot. Carefully put her hand on top of the bag without dislodging the white circle. Now turn her hand over, at the wrist put another bag's white circle over one of the veins or arteries. It's OK if it's over more than one. Repeat on the other side with the other two bags."
"It's all done," Jax said.
Ryland looked down to check the medical monitor.
"Everything looks good. The monitor is constantly adjusting the flow of the drugs and supplements into her system. If the other two colors show, then you will see that two of the circles will have turned black. Just remove those colored bags and replace with the one or two the monitor instructs you to. The circles will turn black when you need to remove the bag, but it shuts off automatically, so if you don't remove the bag for awhile, it's OK. That's it. I'll be monitoring her from here. If there's a problem, the lights flash and there's a loud beeping noise. I'll get a message and I'll call you. I don't think that's going to happen."
"She's not in danger of dying, is she?"
"No. Even without medical intervention, she would live. We're just making her recovery better."
"Are these packs just for Tara?"
"I put them together based on her medical condition, but someone else can use them for their medical purposes. I designed their delivery system so a nonmedical person can use them."
"Is there anything else I can do?"
"Whatever you want to do. You don't need to watch over her. If you want to go back and workout or fight with the robots, you can do that. Just tell Cas you want to monitor Tara and she'll give you a screen showing Tara and the monitors. If you want to sleep beside her, you can tell Cas to make the bed bigger. You won't have to worry about disturbing the bags then."
"Tara told me that you don't have a problem if she sleeps with me," Jax said.
There are some discussions best had when it wasn't possible to physically injure the other person. Jax thought this was the best time to have this conversation. He didn't have to restrain himself from punching Ryland.
"You don't mean sleep. You mean sex."
"Yeah, Tara told me you don't have a problem if she has sex with me."
"I want Tara to do whatever she feels she needs to in order to decide who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. If having sex with you helps her decide, I am fine with it, but I don't think she will need to do that in order to figure it out."
"Just to restate my position, I don't like you fucking my wife. I am not OK with that."
"I got that the first time you told me. We didn't have sex last night if that's what this is about. The reason had nothing to do with you though. I got an emergency call and I had to leave. That's the only reason she didn't spend the night with me. I am not going to quit having sex with Tara unless she breaks it off. I love her and having sex with her is an extension of that."
"It isn't going to be for very much longer," Jax warned.
"I just want Tara to be happy. It's that simple. If she's happier being with you than with me, I want her to choose you. I also get that this isn't a decision she can make quickly."
"Until she makes a decision, I don't think she should have sex with either of us."
Ryland chuckled.
"Nice try. Did you really think that was going to work?"
"Not really," Jax admitted.
"How is the robot fighting going?"
"I'm getting close to being able to knock them both out," Jax said. It was a little wishful thinking and a whole lot of exaggeration.
"Impressive. I know when Salazar kidnapped Tara, you didn't hesitate to trade yourself for her. I know you will watch out for her and protect her with your life if needed. You need to learn to fight against Paralorns. It's harder to render us immobile or dead. The robots can teach you these skills."
"And why would I have to defend Tara against Paralorns?"
"No reason. I'm a doctor. I'm always preparing for things that will probably never happen."
Jax knew Ryland was lying.
"When I get back, we can fight." Ryland suggested.
"I would enjoy that."
Ryland grinned.
"Especially if you managed to kick my ass. When Tara wakes up, make sure she eats and then takes the little packet of pills on the bed."
"Anything else I should know?"
"Just one last thing, after Tara wakes up, give her a couple of hours before you try to seduce her into ending our relationship again. End transmission."
The screen went blank.
Up Next for Jax Is Really Alive
Jax is shocked when he discovers the Paralorns true end game and Tara's part in it and it isn't what you think. He meets with Meg and gets another surprise and that's not what you think. He continues to work at winning Tara's heart, mind and body.
There are three big plot developments in the next chapter that will move the story in a new direction. And something really bad happens.