Donavan residence.
Clyde enters his house after coming back from school.
Roger: Hey son, how was school?
Clyde: The usual, Dad.
Roger: That's good.
Clyde goes upstairs to his room. He closes the door, turns on some music, picks up a porn magazine and lies down on his bed.
Downstairs, his dad is getting dinner started, when the doorbell rings. He opens it.
Roger: Isn't it late to be delivering post?
Postman: Mr Donovan, this is urgent. (He gives him an envelope) Have a good night.
Roger closes the door. He opens it; he realises it's from South Park High School. He reads it, and his expression turns to fury.
Roger: CLYDE DONOVAN!
The next day, Clyde and his father are in Mr Mackey's office.
Mr Mackey: Thank you for coming Mr. Donovan, now Mrs. Nelson informed us that Clyde is failing at math, and we're afraid if he lets his grades continue to plummet down to the Mariana Trench, then, he'll be held back, and won't be able to graduate twelfth grade, m'kay?
Roger: I've done everything to help him improve; practise papers, discipline, Youtube, but nothing's worked.
Mr Mackey: I propose we get your son... a tutor.
Clyde: What?! Dad, don't you dare-
Roger: That doesn't sound half-bad Mr. Mackey.
Mr. Mackey: Someone from the class, perhaps.
He looks over the list of Twelfth grade students.
Mr. Mackey: Kyle Broflovski, Wendy Testaburger, Token Black, Eric Cartman, Butters Stotch, Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, Bebe Stevens... ah ha. Perfect. (He looks up at them) Mr. Donovan, I've found your son a suitable classmate to tutor him. I'll inform Mrs. Nelson.
Roger: Thanks, Mr. Mackey.
Later at the Donovan residence.
Roger: So let me get this straight. You don't do your homework, and all you do is read porn?
Clyde: That is correct.
Roger: You're grounded, until your grades improve.
After class.
Mrs. Nelson: Remember to fill out questions 1-8 on page 56 from chapter 4! (The class is leaving) Clyde, stay.
Clyde stays. Mrs. Nelson waits until everyone has left, before talking to Clyde.
Mrs. Nelson: I went to see Mr. Mackey this morning, and he's found a tutor for you. (The door opens) Clyde, I'd like you to meet her.
Clyde: Heidi?!
Mrs. Nelson: Yes Clyde. From what I've seen, Heidi is a bright student, and a math whiz.
Heidi: Oh, Mrs. Nelson. Stop with the praise.
Mrs Nelson: I'll leave you two to it.
Clyde: You're my tutor?
Heidi: Yes. Let's set a few ground rules. 1: No romance. 2: No porn, (Clyde is reading a magazine) goodbye magazine.
Heidi grabs the magazine and throws it away.
Clyde: Aww!
Heidi: And rule 3: Tell no one.
Clyde: Why?
Heidi: Because I don't want anyone knowing we were working together.
Clyde: Uh, ok.
Heidi: Ok, see this algebra question you gotta do this and that and bring that number over to that number.
Clyde: Ok, I think I got it.
When Clyde is working on problems, Heidi keeps looking down at his ass.
Clyde: Hey, this is easy now.
Heidi: Huh? What?
Clyde: I said this is easy.
Heidi: Yeah, keep doing it.
Heidi continues to stare at Clyde's ass.
Later.
Clyde is in the shower.
Clyde is humming the shower theme from Psycho.
Suddenly the shower door opens.
Clyde: Hey I'm not (Clyde turns around)...finished.
Heidi is there, naked.
Clyde covers his private area.
Clyde: What the fuck are you doing?!
Heidi: I want to share.
Clyde: What?!
Heidi: Please!
Clyde sighed.
Clyde: Alright fine.
Heidi: Anyway, could you wash my back?
Clyde: Ok.
Clyde starts washing her back.
But as he washes her back, he starts to get excited.
Clyde: Oh jeez.
Later, Clyde is in his room reading a Playboy magazine, there's a knock on the door. He throws away the magazine and opens the door, to see Heidi standing there. Without a word, she kisses him, catching him off-guard.
He returns the kiss, and Heidi pushes him back until they both fall onto his bed. Then, Heidi feels something poking her thigh.
Heidi: Do you have a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Clyde: I'm just happy to see you.
Heidi: Well then, gimme that loaded pistol of yours.
Heidi pulls Clyde pants off, and blows him.
Clyde: (Moans) Can't believe I got one before Kyle.
Three Minutes Later.
Clyde: I'm gonna shoot!
He does; Heidi gulps and comes back up to him.
Heidi: This should be our secret. No-one can know.
Clyde: Not even Kyle?
Heidi: Not even Kyle can know. If you do tell anyone, I'll rip off your little friend.
Clyde: Please don't. I'll tell no-one.
Heidi: Good. (She puts his pants back on, kisses him and leaves).
The next day, after Clyde and Heidi nearly made love. Heidi meets Kyle at his locker.
Kyle: Hey babe. (She kisses him) Say, what did you do last night?
Heidi: Just a protest outside a lab that tests their products on animals.
Kyle: Wow. Say, what's that red mark on your neck?
Heidi: Huh? (She touches the spot) Oh, it's just a... mosquito bite. Damn pests. (Scratches it).
Kyle: Yeah, damn pests. I'm just gonna go to the restroom, 'kay?
Heidi: Alright. See ya.
Kyle leaves. Once he's out of sight, Heidi opens her locker and looks in the mirror. The red spot is not a mosquito bite, it's a Hickey.
Heidi: Oh s***!
Heidi quickly puts makeup on the hickey so she can hide it.
The bell goes. She goes to class.
Mrs. Nelson: Alright class. Now, who's gonna come up and do these math problems? Let's see, uh, Clyde.
Clyde: Alright. Prepared to be amazed.
As Clyde begins solving the problems written on the board, Heidi is trying not to fall in love.
Heidi's Subconscious: Okay girl, Kyle's here. Don't panic. Just imagine Clyde in his underwear. (She does) Oh No! He's Hot! Ok, just imagine him as Kyle (She does) Oh no, he's equally hot.
Her demon self appears on her left.
Demon Heidi: C'mon girl. Cheat on Kyle. You're obviously attracted to Clyde.
Heidi: I don't know. (Looks to her right) Hey, where's the other one?
Angel Heidi is stuck in a traffic jam.
Angel Heidi: Move it you bastards, I'm late!
Later at recess.
Heidi goes to chat with Clyde.
Heidi: Listen that night where I made out with you, I didn't know what I was doing. I lost control of myself.
Clyde: Oh. So I'm not hot?
Heidi: No...yeah...I don't know.
Heidi's subconsicous: Though you do have a cute ass, Clyde.
Clyde's subconscious: And you have a cute butt, Heidi.
Clyde: And nice, perky boobs.
Heidi: You know what? I can't lie to Kyle anymore.
Later.
Heidi goes to Kyle's locker to chat to Kyle.
Kyle: What is it Heidi? You look stressed. If there's something bothering you, I'll understand.
Heidi: I can't keep it secret any longer. I BLEW CLYDE!
Everyone in the hallway freezes with shock, but Kyle is the most shocked. Heidi is panting.
Heidi: I blew him, and we showered together.
Kyle: You sneaky, lying, slut! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN, HEIDI TURNER! WE'RE THROUGH! (Walks off in anger).
Heidi is frozen. Everyone is.
Cartman: Oh thank god they're done.
Later at the playground.
Heidi walks up to Clyde and punches him.
Heidi: It's all your fault!
Clyde: Me?!
Heidi: Yeah! If you weren't so good looking than I wouldn't have broke the heart of the boy who treated me like a human.
Clyde: Why the fuck am I to blame though?! You can't blame me for every problem you have.
Heidi: Yeah...well...I don't know. Maybe I'm not ready for a boyfriend.
Clyde: I think you are. You've been betrayed before and you've returned the favour. Heidi, I'm gonna help you get back together with Kyle.
Heidi: I'm thinking Kyle might be cursed.
Clyde: What do you mean?
Heidi: He's had a lot of relationships that haven't ended well. And he also told Walter Bryan Cranston White to stop shipping me with him.
Walter Bryan Cranston White: Hey I can ship whoever I want missy. Although this is a joint story with Dragon Slaer, I don't know what will happen since me and him are doing this together.
Heidi: He also threatened to kill him if the condition is broken.
Walter Bryan Cranston White: What condition? Dragon, do you have any idea what she's talking about?
Dragon Slaer: Getting back with a certain jew, I believe. And she needs time.
Walter Bryan Cranston White: Oh. You sure that's what it is? And how long is certain time?
Dragon Slaer: 3 months.
Heidi: Also, I'm pregnant.
Clyde: What?!
Walter Bryan Cranston White and Dragon Slaer: What?!
Clyde: How is that possible?
Heidi: We slept together.
Clyde: Oh yeah. When?
Heidi: After I blew you. We can't tell anyone. Ok?
Clyde: Ok.
But little did they know, Cartman was filming.
Cartman: This would be so good on YouTube
Three days later.
Heidi enters the girls bathroom.
Heidi: Hey girls.
Bebe, Red and Annie start glaring at her.
Heidi: Is there something wrong girls?
Red: You've had sex with Clyde.
Heidi: No.
Annie: And you're pregnant.
Heidi: I had no idea what I was doing.
Bebe: So you admit it?
Heidi: It's true.
Heidi starts crying.
Wendy: Hey girl. Don't cry (Wendy starts hugging Heidi) We'll get through this, I promise.
Meanwhile.
Clyde is being booed at by his friends in the middle of the hallway.
Stan: Creep!
Craig: Sex offender!
Clyde: Fuck all of you I'm gonna do some studying.
A few weeks later.
Turner residence.
There was a knock on the door.
Heidi gets off the couch and answers the door.
Kyle was standing on the front porch.
Heidi: What do you want?
Kyle: Can we talk?
Heidi: Sure, fine, come in.
Kyle enters the house.
Kyle and Heidi sit down on her couch.
Kyle: Look after everything that's been going on I've been having some time to think.
Heidi: (Sigh) I know what I did was wrong Kyle and maybe you dumping me was-
Kyle: No! I don't think it was. Because if I didn't dump you than maybe you wouldn't have an idiot taking care of your child
Heidi: Yeah. So why are you here?
Kyle: Because when or if you give birth, I want to help you with your child Heidi. I want to help you and help it.
About nine months later.
Heidi gives birth to a baby boy.
Heidi is seen holding the baby.
Kyle: What are you gonna name him?
Heidi: I'm gonna name him after his godfather.
Kyle: Who's the godfather?
Heidi stares at Kyle.
Kyle: I am?
Heidi: Yes.
Kyle: Hello Kyle Donovan.
Donovan residence.
Roger: You had sex with Heidi Turner and got her pregnant?! What have we talked about using protection?!
Clyde: I'm sorry Dad.
Roger: That's it Clyde, get out! Get the out of the house!
Clyde leaves home and goes to the Turner residence.
Clyde knocks on the door and Heidi answers.
Heidi answered the door and she is holding the baby.
Heidi: Hey.
Clyde: Hi.
Heidi: What do you want?
Clyde: My Dad kicked me out. And I was wondering if I can move in with you.
Heidi stood thinking.
Clyde: Please Heidi, I have no where to go and I doubt any of my friends would want me.
Heidi sighed.
Heidi: Alright fine. Come in.
And so Clyde and Heidi lived as a happy family along with the godfather of their child, Kyle.