A/N: Shorter chapter this time. I apologise in advance for the ensuing angst but apparently I cannot write a romance story without something going horribly wrong at some point. Don't worry though. If I'm your woefully undertrained pilot on this journey then consider this your temporary turbulence warning. Buckle up, think happy thoughts and maybe the wings won't fall off.
Seriously, guys. This whole thing is basically one big excuse for me to write chapter five.
Fingernails running up her thigh. Lips brushing against her ear. A knee riding up between her legs. A gasp filled Athena's lungs and her chest rose sharply as those lips drifted down her neck and lightly pinched her collarbone. A desperate moan followed. Was that her voice? Impossible. She tried to open her eyes but it was as if everything around her was made of light. The brightness stung her eyes like walking out into the sun after years in the dark. The lips left her collarbone and she could just barely make out a single pink streak of hair rise into view followed by a familiar grin. Athena felt the hand on her thigh slip under her top and slowly travel up her torso. The gladiator tried to move but she felt like every bit of strength in her body had simply fallen away. The grin and pink streak moved closer and she heard a familiar voice thick with Elpis accent.
"Athena? You're real pretty…"
The lips continued to move closer until they were so close Athena could feel their every breath ghost over her own.
"…just throwing that out there…"
Athena woke up thrashing and panting, only just managing to avoid tumbling off the sofa completely. She clutched at her chest desperately trying to slow her breathing and keep her heart from hammering out of her ribcage. Just when she was beginning to wonder what the hell had just happened her tall, blonde host appeared in the kitchen doorway. She wore a wide-eyed, startled expression like the face of someone who had just been woken by a gunshot.
"Bloody hell! What is it? What's wrong?" Janey asked in a panic.
"W-what?" Athena responded, still utterly flustered.
"You uh…you called my name just now?" The concern in Janey's face slowly drained, replaced with mild confusion.
"I…did?"
"Yeah, you sounded like a thresher had you by the head in here!" The blonde girl raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright?"
"Yes…I'm fine. No need to worry."
Had she called out Janey's name? She couldn't remember doing anything of the sort.
"What time is it?" Athena asked rubbing her eyes.
"Oh. Um, it's actually getting into late afternoon. I kept thinking about waking you but you looked like you really needed the sleep there".
She looked a little sheepish. Guilty almost but, while Athena would have preferred not to have slept through the day, she couldn't bring herself to be upset with Janey for being concerned about her well-being. Instead the gladiator continued to stare at the blonde blankly for a second or two before her eyes drifted to the single pink streak of hair laying against the woman's left cheek and her heart jumped a little in her chest. The bizarre dream was still fresh in her mind. She pulled her eyes away as she felt heat rushing to her face, swinging her feet out of the blanket onto the cold metal floor and running her hands into her hair.
What is wrong with you?
Snap out of it.
"Alright…" Athena eventually responded. Her voice came out sounding uncharacteristically shaky and fragile but, thankfully, if Janey noticed she didn't say anything. A moment of silence passed between the two women before the blonde smiled and spoke again.
"To be honest I was just about to look into waking you anyway so great timing! Come on in here, I've got something to show you."
"I…actually need to-". Athena briefly attempted to protest but Janey had already vanished into the kitchen humming to herself.
The gladiator sighed and rose from the sofa. Following Janey into the kitchen she was about to continue her objection when the scent of something incredible slammed into Athena's nostrils the second she stepped into the room. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the small table and two chairs in the middle of the room. On the table rested two plates, one of which had several flat, circular objects Athena had never seen before piled upon it. Janey was busy at the stove but turned her head enough to nod towards the empty chair in front of the mound of wonderful-smelling discs.
"Go on then! I can't possibly have you departing Janey Springs' hospitality without breakfast at least."
No. Ask her where your armour is. You need to go. You've lingered here for too long already. Just get back into your suit and-
What are you doing? Don't sit down, you idiot. You can't stay here. You can't-
"So…what am I looking at here?" Athena regarded the mysterious items on the plate in front of her as she sat down with a mixture of confusion and caution picking up a nearby fork and prodding one lightly.
"They're called pancakes!" Janey replied as if she had been waiting for that question. "I kinda hit the jackpot and found a few packs of them in the freezer when I moved in. Whoever lived here before me had quite a sweet tooth apparently. Try some, they're good!"
The blonde finished preparing her own helping before walking over and taking a seat opposite Athena. She cut off a big piece of one of the pancakes and popped it into her mouth starting to talk again before she had finished her mouthful.
"These are my last lot actually."
She swallowed her food and grinned.
"I guess you could say I've been saving them for a special occasion." she said looking squarely in Athena's direction.
"You…are too good to me." the gladiator replied, staring down at her food awkwardly.
It would have probably caused her to feel far less uncomfortable if Janey had said she expected something in return for all this but she didn't. She just kept on grinning like it was totally normal to just invite people into your home for food and shelter as well as what was likely an incredibly rare delicacy in this corner of space knowing they had nothing to give you for it. It bothered Athena because it went against everything she thought she knew about life on the border planets. About life in general really. She knew hundreds of protocols for dealing with people being hostile towards her but for someone like Janey? Nothing. She was…an anomaly.
"Hmmm. Nah. I think I'm exactly the right amount of good to you" she heard the blonde retort from across the small table.
Athena looked up just in time to catch the wink Janey sent her way. She quickly looked back to her food and began eating to try and distract herself from the vague fluttering sensation in her stomach.
What is happening to me?
"Did you sleep alright on my lumpy sofa by the way?"
Janey's question immediately caused the gladiator's strange dream to rush through her mind again and she almost choked on the mouthful she was working on but hammered her chest a couple of times and managed to recover.
"Y-yes. I did. It was fine. Thank you."
It was true. Disregarding her awakening, she couldn't remember the last time she had slept that well. She hadn't felt this good in a long time. When you only ever got an hour or two of rest a night if you were lucky it was easy to forget what being completely rejuvenated felt like.
The two women ate mostly in silence for the next few minutes until Janey spoke again.
"Hey, listen…"
The blonde scratched the back of her head and frowned slightly. She looked somewhat uneasy but continued regardless.
"I know we said just one night but if you haven't figured out what to do about leaving yet then you're totally free to…stick around a bit longer. You know, if you like."
Athena froze. The blonde had hit the nail on the head. The gladiator had planned to use last night to consider how she could possibly get off Elpis and back to Pandora with her current lack of funds but…
She glanced up at Janey who was, thankfully, not looking in her direction and focusing on her food. Athena felt a strange feeling wash over her. A complete lack of a need to do anything other than sit right there and watch the blonde junk-dealer eat. Or talk. Or do pretty much anything come to think of it. It worried her. It seemed just being near the blonde was affecting her efficiency in ways she couldn't have predicted. Instead of contemplating where her next job might be or how to replenish her dangerously low ammunition supplies with only a few dollars to her name she was sitting here wearing oversized pyjamas eating breakfast with an impossible woman who made her feel like she might be going crazy.
"I couldn't impose…" the gladiator eventually replied.
Janey laughed. "It may surprise you to hear this Athena, but, for one reason or another, I'm not exactly the most popular of people around these parts."
She shrugged and looked down to her food, poking the last few pieces of pancake around with her fork.
"Having some company is nice for a change, y'know?"
Athena's whole body turned rigid as the idea of simply not returning to Pandora took root in her mind for the first time. She could feel herself fighting the concept but she had to wonder why she was so determined to get back down there. If her time on Elpis had taught her anything it was that a mercenaries' services were needed here as much as they were on Pandora, only there wasn't as much competition to deal with. No bastard, leg-biting skags either.
It was strange. Normally that ever-present, chastising voice in her head would have done its best to prevent her from considering the idea any further and she could certainly hear it ranting away in the back of her mind about how ridiculous and pathetic she was being by even thinking about it but, for better or worse, Janey's presence seemed to make the voice…quieter. Easier to ignore.
"…I'll think about it."
A non-committal answer was all she could offer. Her mind was in far too chaotic a state right now for anything else.
"I have something I need to do though. Is my armour…"
"Oh! Yeah it's all cleaned up." Janey said gesturing at the door to the front room. "I put it in a pile over near the bathroom door"
"Okay" Athena replied before setting her cutlery down on her empty plate and rising from her chair.
"Thanks. For breakfast".
She began walking into the front room. Eager to make herself combat-ready again but, as she was walking away from the table she heard Janey's voice behind her.
"Will you be back?"
Athena stopped in the doorway. Her first instinct was to throw out another evasive response. A vague "maybe" or "we'll see" in case she somehow managed to stumble across a way back to Pandora while she was out but she knew she wasn't going anywhere. Not yet.
She glanced back over her shoulder at the blonde woman sitting at the kitchen table.
Athena hadn't decided whether to stay on Elpis indefinitely yet, but for now Pandora could wait. There would always be room for one more penniless vagabond with a gun down there. No need to rush.
The corner of Janey's mouth curled up into a somewhat anxious smile as she awaited the gladiator's answer.
No need at all.
"Yeah" she said attempting to sound as casual about it as she could. "I…shouldn't be long".
When Athena turned away again to leave she could almost feel the intensity of Janey's smile behind her. She crossed the room, grabbing the various pieces of her suit and going into the bathroom to change. When she had armoured up and left the bathroom Janey was nowhere in sight but before Athena had a chance to do much of anything the blonde's face appeared from around the corner in the kitchen. She looked the gladiator up and down before a wide grin spread across her face.
"Hey, lookin' good!" she said giving a thumbs up. "Wait a sec though, looks like I forgot something".
She rushed over into the small room in which her washing machines were kept and pulled something out of the dryer. When she turned around she was holding Athena's scarf in her hands. The gladiator had to take a brief moment to internally lament how distracted she was. She would have had to have been to just completely overlook something like that. Especially her scarf.
"Sorry, I must have left this behind when I was getting your suit ready. Here."
Athena held out her hand for Janey to put the scarf in but instead the blonde moved past it draping the scarf on the shorter girl's shoulders and wrapping it loosely around her neck. She tugged the front of the scarf to straighten it and smiled down at the shorter woman.
"There. Can't have you catching a cold can we? Elpis can be a little chilly for you out-of-towners."
Athena couldn't bring herself to meet Janey's eyes, instead choosing to stare down at the girl's collar bone. Anywhere but her eyes. If she did she felt like there was a chance she simply would not be able to summon up the conviction to walk away from her.
"I'll be fine." Athena replied. She stepped back and turned away, her scarf slipping from Janey's hands.
She pulled up her hood in an attempt to distance herself a little. If she was going to weigh up the pros and cons of life on Elpis she knew she couldn't do it here. Not with Janey's smile and those brown eyes seemingly everywhere she turned. She needed a chance to think objectively without her heart hammering in her chest. As long as she was here with Janey it seemed her mind would keep steering her away from thoughts of leaving.
"Ok! I uh…I guess I'll see you later then. If you come back and I'm not here then just come see me at my store, alright?"
Athena nodded. "Understood".
"Great. Good luck out there, yeah?" For a moment it looked as if Janey was contemplating a hug but quickly dropped the idea. Athena was grateful. While the idea of being embraced by the taller woman was…not unpleasant, she imagined such a thing would demolish her already somewhat fragile resolve to walk away. Instead Janey gave the gladiator one more smile before heading back into the kitchen to clean up.
Athena had to force her feet to turn and take her towards the front door but eventually they obeyed. She began to gather up the pile of weapons she had left there, attaching Aspis to the magnetic socket on her gauntlet and sheathing Xiphos but, as she was making sure the sword was attached to her waist correctly she noticed something across the room. It took her mind a couple of seconds to process what it was but, when it did, she immediately felt a profound chill run down her spine. It couldn't be. She immediately stopped what she was doing to walk over and grab the impossible red object pulling it out of the pile of scrap metal it was half-buried in and turning it over in her hands.
A Crimson Lance assassin helmet. Standard issue. Almost identical to the one she had once worn herself, albeit heavily damaged. Initially she felt shaken to see it here of all places but she supposed it made sense. With the Atlas Corporation's prior interest in Pandora it was reasonable to assume they might poke around on Elpis too at some point.
She stared solemnly into the cracked, red eye-lenses of the helmet. Who had this been? How had they lost their helmet? Perhaps killed by scavs or one of the various other threats on Elpis? Certainly not one of her squad if that was the case. None of her girls would have been careless enough to let anything on this moon get the better of them.
"Her girls". Quite the nostalgic term for the people she had turned on.
She clutched the helmet tighter as she felt herself being pulled into a memory. That familiar scene from her nightmares. Fire and destruction surrounded her as her fellow assassins slaughtered the screaming Pandoran villagers without mercy. That day Athena had held her own helmet in her hands similarly to how she was holding this one now and on the ground at her feet? The body of her sister, Jess.
She and Athena had been very young when Atlas came for them and the gladiator's memories of her life before that day had been crumpled and warped after the "integration" Atlas had put her through but Athena knew the girl's face from many nights spent lying awake staring at the files she had stolen from the Atlas database. The girl she could only vaguely remember who had apparently escaped the corporation's clutches. Athena had promised herself she would find her sister and they would escape together. Unfortunately her superiors had discovered her plan before she had managed to find Jess and orchestrated her sister's death to try and prevent Athena from leaving the Crimson Lance.
Having located the village Jess had been living in they had sent their assassins, Athena included, to destroy it as they had many other bandit settlements since they arrived on Pandora. They had specifically ordered only thermal vision was to be used so, during the chaos of the attack, Jess had just looked like a panicked, orange, person-shaped target like every other villager. In retrospect Athena should have known something was wrong but she had gotten used to eccentric demands from the higher-ups over her career. The only way she had known what she had done was when she had shoved a sword into one of those orange targets and it had screamed just like the sound she kept hearing in the fractured, unclear nightmares of her abduction. She had thrown down her swords and removed her helmet to see Jess, lying on her back with a stab wound through her chest. The thing that haunted Athena the most was when the dying woman had seen her face she had…smiled.
Had she actually recognised Athena or was it simply the madness of a dying mind? The gladiator had spent many a night tormenting herself with that question since the incident.
Either way, Jess had died with that smile on her face before Athena had been able to say anything and an overpowering sorrow began to consume her. A bloodied scarf in her sister's hand had caught her attention. Something about it seemed distantly familiar as if she had seen it before long ago and she had slowly leaned down with a shaking hand to pick it up. The scarf she wore to this day. The only piece of her sister she had left.
Then the rage came. She gripped the scarf tighter and tighter, gritting her teeth as every bit of her suppressed anger at Atlas for what they had done to her and her family finally boiled over until she had felt one of her fellow assassin's hands on her shoulder. She hadn't even thought. The helmet dropped from her hand as she whirled around and smashed her fist into the face of the assassin who had touched her with an unbridled cry of fury.
Except all of this had already happened. That assassin was long gone.
The sound of Janey crashing to the ground shattered the memory around Athena and roughly pulled her back into reality. It took the gladiator a second to realise what had happened as she blinked the haze away.
"Janey…?"
No.
No no no no no.
Horror gripped every inch of her. She stepped back and looked down with panic to the trembling hand she had lashed out with. The hand she had used to attack two people she cared about now. She looked back to Janey and, for one terrifying moment, the blonde woman's fallen form looked very similar to that of Jess on that night.
"Janey, I…I didn't…"
Janey managed to turn over and looked up at her from the floor holding her bruised cheek. The dazed woman's expression was one of confusion and disbelief that tore straight into Athena's heart. The blonde's eyes asked her why and the gladiator only had one answer.
"I'm sorry…"
She ran. Athena had never fled from anything in her long and violent career but the thought of Janey sharing the same fate as her sister ripped her apart inside. If she truly was just a weapon, a tool for harming people and nothing more, then she couldn't risk staying here with Janey any longer. She was a fool to think Atlas hadn't broken her and every soldier knew a faulty weapon was nothing but a danger to everything around it.
She had already been responsible for her sister's death. The thought of ever being responsible for Janey's was too much for her to bear.
Athena left her pile of guns behind and sprinted for the apartment's front door throwing it open and running out into the hallway. For a moment she thought she could hear Janey calling after her but she was already in the elevator and hammering the button labelled "SURFACE" with the bottom of her fist before any of it really registered in her distraught mind. Once the elevator had sprung to life and began moving she stumbled back against one of the walls and slowly slid down it, her armour scraping against the metal, until she was sitting on the floor in a dejected heap. She let her head fall back against the wall and stared forlornly up at the ceiling.
"Time to go..." the despondent gladiator murmured quietly to the empty elevator at it climbed higher towards the Concordia streets.