How was I going to find time alone to hunt down J. Jenks, and why did Alice want me to know about him?
If Alice's clue didn't prove to be helpful, what could I do to save those I loved?
How were Edyth and I going to explain things to Taras and his family in the morning? What if they reacted like Ivan? What if it turned into a fight?
I didn't know how to fight. How was I going to learn in just a month? Was there any chance at all that I could be taught fast enough that I might be a danger to any one member of the Volturi? Or was I doomed to be totally useless? Just another easily dispatched problem?
So many answers I needed, but I did not get the chance to ask my questions.
Wanting some shred of normality, I'd insisted on staying in the cottage that night. Julie was more comfortable in her wolf form at the moment; the stress was easier dealt with when she felt ready for a fight. I wished that I could feel the same, could feel ready. She ran in the woods, on guard again.
Once we were back at the cottage, I tried to unobtrusively search to see if there was a chance Alice had left something—anything else that could help me. When my search proved in vain, I returned to the front room of the cottage to ask my questions of Edyth. The ones I was able to ask, at any rate; one of the most difficult problems was the idea of trying to hide anything from her, even with the advantage of my silent thoughts.
She stood with her back to me, staring into the fire.
"Edyth, I—"
She spun and was across the room in what seemed like no time at all, not even the smallest part of a second. I only had time to register the ferocious expression on her face before her lips were crushing against mine and her arms were locked around me like steel girders.
I didn't think of my questions again for the rest of that night. It didn't take long for me to grasp the reason for her mood, and even less time to feel exactly the same way.
I'd been planning on needing years just to somewhat organize the overwhelming passion I felt for her physically. And then centuries after that to enjoy it. If we had only a month left together... Well, I didn't see how I could stand to have this end. For the moment I couldn't help but be selfish. All I wanted was to love her as much as possible in the limited time given to me.
It was hard to pull myself away from her when the sun came up, but we had our job to do, a job that might be more difficult than all the rest of our family's searches put together. As soon as I let myself think of what was coming, I was all tension; it felt like my nerves were being stretched on a rack, thinner and thinner.
"I wish there was a way to get the information we need from Elena before we tell them about everything," Edyth muttered as we hurriedly dressed in the huge closet that was more reminder of Alice than I wanted at the moment. "Just in case."
"But she wouldn't understand the question to answer it," I agreed. "Do you think they'll let us explain?"
"I don't know."
I couldn't waste one second of time today. There were answers I needed and I wasn't sure how much time Edyth and I would have alone today. If all went well with Taras's family, hopefully we would have company for an extended period.
"Edyth, will you teach me how to fight?" I asked her, tensed for her reaction, as she held the door for me.
It was what I expected. She froze, and then her eyes swept over me with a deep significance, like she was looking at me for the first or last time.
"If it comes to a fight, there won't be much any of us can do," she hedged.
I kept my voice even. "Would you leave me unable to defend myself?"
She swallowed convulsively, and the door shuddered, hinges protesting, as her hand tightened. Then she nodded. "When you put it that way... I suppose we should get to work as soon as we can."
I nodded, too, and we started toward the big house. We didn't hurry.
I wondered what I could do that would have any hope of making a difference. I was unique, to be sure, and I was a tiny bit special, in my own way—if having a supernaturally thick skull could really be considered special. Was there any use that I could put that toward?
"What would you say their biggest advantage is? Do they even have a weakness?"
Edyth didn't have to ask to know I meant the Volturi.
"Alec and Jane are their greatest offense," she said emotionlessly, like we were talking of a basketball team. "Their defensive players rarely see any real action."
"Because Jane can burn you where you stand—mentally at least. What does Alec do? Didn't you once say he was even more dangerous than Jane?"
"Yes. In a way, he is the antidote to Jane. She makes you feel the worst pain imaginable. Alec, on the other hand, makes you feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sometimes, when the Volturi are feeling kind, they have Alec anesthetize someone before he is executed. If he has surrendered or pleased them in some other way."
"Anesthetic? But how is that more dangerous than Jane?"
"Because he cuts off your senses altogether. No pain, but also no sight or sound or smell. Total sensory deprivation. You are utterly alone in the blackness. You don't even feel it when they burn you."
I shivered. Was this the best we could hope for? To not see or feel death when it came?
"That would make him only equally as dangerous as Jane," Edyth went on in the same detached voice, "in that they both can incapacitate you, make you into a helpless target. The difference between them is like the difference between Aro and me. Aro hears the mind of only one person at a time. Jane can only hurt the one object of her focus. I can hear everyone at the same time."
I felt cold as I saw where she was going. "And Alec can incapacitate us all at the same time?" I whispered.
"Yes," she said. "If he uses his gift against us, we will all stand blind and deaf until they get around to killing us—maybe they'll simply burn us without bothering to tear us apart first. Oh, we could try to fight, but we'll be more likely to hurt one another than we would be to hurt one of them."
We walked in silence for a few seconds.
An idea was shaping itself in my head. Not very promising, but better than nothing.
"Do you think Alec is a very good fighter?" I asked. "Aside from what he can do, I mean. If he had to fight without his gift. I wonder if he's ever even tried..."
Edyth glanced at me sharply. "What are you thinking?"
I looked straight ahead. "Well, he probably can't do that to me, can he? If what he does is like Aro and Jane and you. Maybe... if he's never really had to defend himself... and I learned a few tricks—"
"He's been with the Volturi for centuries," Edyth cut me off, her voice abruptly panicked. She was probably seeing the same image in her head that I was: the Cullens standing helpless, senseless pillars on the killing field—all but me. I'd be the only one who could fight. "Yes, you're surely immune to his power, but you are still new in this life, Bella. I can't make you that strong a fighter in a few weeks. I'm sure he's had training."
"Maybe, maybe not. It's the one thing I can do that no one else can. Even if I can justdistracthim for a while—" Could I last long enough to give the others a chance?
"Please, Bella," Edyth said through her teeth. "Let's not talk about this."
"Be reasonable."
"I will try to teach you what I can, but please don't make me think about you sacrificing yourself as a diversion—" She choked and didn't finish.
I nodded. I would keep my plans to myself, then. First Alec and then, if I was miraculously lucky enough to win, Jane. If I could only even things out—remove the Volturi's overwhelming offensive advantage. Maybe then there was a chance... My mind raced ahead. What if Iwas able to distract or even take them out? Honestly, why would either Jane or Alec ever have needed to learn battle skills? I couldn't imagine petulant little Jane surrendering her advantage, even to learn.
If I was able to kill them, what a difference that would make.
"I have to learn everything. As much as you can possibly cram into my head in the next month," I murmured.
She acted as if I hadn't spoken.
Who next, then? I might as well have my plans in order so that, if I did live past attacking Alec, there would be no hesitation in my strike. I tried to think of another situation where my thick skull would give me an advantage. I didn't know enough about what the others did. Obviously, fighters like the huge Felix were beyond me. I could only try to give Emmett his fair fight there. I didn't know much about the rest of the Volturi guard, besides Demetri…
My face was perfectly smooth as I considered Demetri. Without a doubt, he would be a fighter. There was no other way he could have survived so long, always at the spear point of any attack. And he must always lead, because he was their tracker—the best tracker in the world, no doubt. If there had been one better, the Volturi would have traded up. Aro didn't surround himself with second best.
If Demetri didn't exist, then wecouldrun. Whoever was left of us, in any case.
And... if Demetri didn't exist, then Alice and Jasper could be safe forever. Is that what Alice had seen? That part of our family could continue? The two of them, at the very least.
Could I begrudge her that?
"Demetri...," I said.
"Demetri is mine," Edyth said in a hard, tight voice. I looked at her quickly and saw that her expression had turned violent.
"Why?" I whispered.
She didn't answer at first. We were to the river when she finally murmured, "For Alice. It's the only thanks I can give her now for the last fifty years."
So her thoughts were in line with mine.
I heard Julie's heavy paws thudding against the frozen ground. In seconds, she was pacing beside me, her dark eyes focused on mine.
I nodded to her once, then returned to my questions. There was so little time.
"Edyth, why do you think Alice told us to ask Elena about the Volturi? Has she been in Italy recently or something? What could she know?"
"Elena knows everything when it comes to the Volturi. I forgot you didn't know. She used to be one of them."
Julie growled beside me.
"What?" I demanded, in my head picturing the beautiful dark-haired woman at our wedding wrapped in a long, ashy cloak.
Edyth's face was softer now—she smiled a little. "Elena is a very gentle person. She wasn't entirely happy with the Volturi, but she respected the law and its need to be upheld. She felt she was working toward the greater good. She doesn't regret her time with them. But when she found Carmen, she found her place in this world. They are very similar people, both very compassionate for vampires." She smiled again. "They met Taras and his family, and they never looked back. They are well suited to this lifestyle. If they'd never found Taras, I imagine they would have eventually discovered a way to live without human blood on their own."
The pictures in my head were jarring. I couldn't make them match up. A compassionate Volturi soldier?
Edyth glanced at Julie and answered a silent question. "No, she wasn't one of their warriors, so to speak. She had a gift they found convenient."
Julie must have asked the obvious follow-up question.
"Elena has an instinctive feel for the gifts of others—the extra abilities that some vampires have," Edyth told her. "She could give Aro a general idea of what any given vampire was capable of just by being in proximity with him or her. This was helpful when the Volturi went into battle. Elena could warn them if someone in the opposing coven had a skill that might give them some trouble. That was rare; it takes quite a skill to even inconvenience the Volturi for a moment. More often, the warning would give Aro the chance to save someone who might be useful to him. Elena's gift works even with humans, to an extent. She has to really concentrate with humans, though, because the latent ability is so nebulous. Aro would have her test the people who wanted to join, to see if they had any potential. Aro was sorry to see Elena go."
"They let her go?" I asked. "Just like that?"
Her smile was darker now, a little twisted. "The Volturi aren't supposed to be the villains, the way they seem to you. They are the foundation of our peace and civilization. Each member of the guard chooses to serve them. It's quite prestigious; they all are proud to be there, not forced to be there."
I frowned, troubled by this.
"They're only alleged to be heinous and evil by the criminals, Bella."
"We're not criminals."
Julie huffed in agreement.
"They don't know that."
"Do you really think we can make them stop and listen?"
Edyth hesitated just the tiniest moment and then shrugged. "If we find enough friends to stand beside us. Maybe."
If. I suddenly felt the urgency of what we had before us today. Edyth and I both started to move faster, breaking into a run. Julie caught up quickly.
"Taras shouldn't be too much longer," Edyth said. "We need to be ready."
How to be ready, though? We arranged and rearranged, thought and rethought. Have me in full view? Or hidden at first? Julie in the room? Or outside? She'd told her pack to stay close but invisible. Should she do the same?
In the end, Julie—in her human form again—and I waited around the corner from the front door in the dining room, sitting at the big polished table. Julie sat a few chairs from me; she wanted space in case she had to phase quickly.
Though I was glad to have Julie nearby, it made me feel useless. It reminded me that in a fight with mature vampires, I was no more than an easy target; I didn't know how to protect not to mention i was weakest still tho.
I tried to remember Taras, Kate, Carmen, and Elena from the wedding. Their faces were murky in my ill-lit memories. I only knew they were beautiful, two blondes and two brunettes. I couldn't remember if there was any kindness in their eyes.
Edyth leaned motionlessly against the back-window wall, staring toward the front door. It didn't look like she was seeing the room in front of her.
We listened to the cars zooming past out on the freeway, none of them slowing.
"I really made everything as difficult as I possibly could, didn't I?" I murmured, mostly to myself.
"What do you mean, Bella?" Julie asked, though she was looking towards the front room. Edyth's eyes locked on to me.But the way she was looking at me. It was a ...sad look.
"If I had just let Edyth and Carlisle change me as soon as I got sick…"
"Bella, love, you can't know how that would have changed things you made a mistake." Edyth argued.But then she muttered under her breath makes me wonder if you love me tho.
"But I'd be a full vampire, the Volturi wouldn't be confused about what I was and yes i made a mistake but i do love you." I countered.
"Maybe, but I wouldn't have stuck around." Julie frowned. "I wouldn't be here with you."
"But you'd be safe!" I insisted. "They wouldn't be coming after you or the rest of the pack."
"Unless Sam changed his mind and attacked the Cullens for breaking the treaty—or if I had gone ballistic." She frowned, watching me carefully.
"Julie, I can't see how this is anything but my fault."
"No," Julie and Edyth said at the same time, but before they could argue further, we heard the sound we'd been waiting for: the slowing of an engine on the freeway, the tires moving from pavement to soft dirt.
Edyth darted around the corner to stand waiting by the door. Julie and I stared at each other across the table, desperation on our faces.
The car moved quickly through the woods, faster than Charlie or Sue drove. We heard it pull into the meadow and stop by the front porch. Four doors opened and closed. They didn't speak as they approached the door. Edyth opened it before they could knock.
"Edyth!" a male voice enthused.I felt myself growl without meaning to.
"Hello, Taras. Kate, Elena, Carmen." Three murmured hellos.
"Carlisle said he needed to talk to us right away," the first voice said, Taras. I could hear that they all were still outside. I imagined Edyth in the doorway, blocking their entrance. "What's the problem? Trouble with the werewolves?"
Julie rolled her eyes.
"No," Edyth said. "Not precisely at least. Our truce with the werewolves is stronger than ever."
A woman chuckled.
"Aren't you going to invite us in?" Taras asked. And then he continued without waiting for an answer. "Where's Carlisle?"
"Carlisle had to leave."
There was a short silence.
"What's going on, Edyth?" Taras demanded.
"If you could give me the benefit of the doubt for just a few minutes," she answered. "I have something difficult to explain, and I'll need you to be open-minded until you understand."
"Is Carlisle all right?" a female voice asked anxiously. Elena.
"None of us is all right, Elena," Edyth said, and then she patted something, maybe Elena's shoulder. "But physically, Carlisle is fine."
"Physically?" Taras asked sharply. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that my entire family is in very grave danger. But before I explain, I ask for your promise. Listen to everything I say before you react. I am begging you to hear me out."
A longer silence greeted her request. Through the strained hush, Julie and I stared wordlessly at each other. Her russet lips paled.
"We're listening," Taras finally said. "We will hear it all before we judge."
"Thank you, Taras," Edyth said fervently. "We wouldn't involve you in this if we had any other choice."
Edyth moved. We heard four sets of footsteps walk through the doorway. Someone sniffed. "I knew those werewolves were involved," Taras muttered.
"Yes, and they're on our side. Again."
The reminder silenced Taras.
"Where's your Bella?" one of the other female voices asked. "How is she?"
"She'll join us shortly. She's well, thank you." Edyth hesitated, minutely. "She's taken to immortality with amazing finesse."
"Tell us about the danger, Edyth," Taras said quietly. "We'll listen, and we'll be on your side, where we belong."
Edyth took a deep breath. "I'd like you to witness for yourselves first. Listen—in the other room. What do you hear?"
It was quiet, and then there was movement.
"Just listen first, please," Edyth said.
"A werewolf, I assume. I can hear his heart," Taras said.
"What else?" Edyth asked.
There was a pause.
"What is that other beat?" Kate or Carmen asked. "It's so slow…"
"Yes, and remember how distinct it is—how different. Now, what do you smell? Besides the werewolf."
"Is there a human here?" Elena whispered.
"No," Taras disagreed. "It's not human… but… closer to human than the rest of the scents here. What is that, Edyth? It's… almost familiar. Like I've smelled it before."
"You have, Taras. But what else can you discern from that scent?"
A pause.
"It's more human than we are…" Taras said slowly, "but it is still like us in some ways."
"Now, please, Taras,please remember to listen. Throw away your preconceived notions."
"I promised you I would listen, Edyth."
"All right, then. Bella? Please come here."
My legs felt strangely numb, but I knew that feeling was all in my head. I forced myself not to hold back, not to move sluggishly, as I got to my feet and walked the few short feet to the corner. The heat from Julie's body flamed close behind me as she shadowed my steps.
I took one step into the bigger room and then froze, unable to force myself farther forward. I took a deep breath.
I thought I'd prepared myself for their reaction. For accusations, for shouting, for the motionlessness of deep stress.
Taras staggered back a few steps as he looked me over, confusion overwhelming his expression. Kate narrowed her eyes. Elena moved slightly in front of Carmen, holding her arms out protectively.
"Congrats, you freaked out the vampires," I heard Julie tease under her breath.
Edyth put her arm around me. "Now before you jump to conclusions—" she began.
"What's going on here, Edyth?" Taras exclaimed. "Are you trying to test the Volturi? Carlisle told us you needed to change her!"
"What's…wrong with her?" Kate's narrowed eyes were focused like lasers on me.
"Edyth this isn't wise." Elena sighed.
"Wait," Edyth said, her voice harder now. "Remember what you hear, what you smell. Now look at what you can see."
"I see a human!" Taras snapped back.
"Taras," Edyth said sharply, "Listen to how slow her heartbeat is! Think about her scent! And look at her!"
"Her heart…" Carmen whispered, peering around Elena's shoulder.
"She's not a full vampire, no," Edyth said, answering an unspoken thought and directing her attention toward Carmen's more open expression. "But she's half-vampire."
The four vampires stared at her like she was speaking a language none of them knew.
"Hear me." Edyth's voice shifted into a smooth velvet tone of persuasion. "Bella was very sick—she was dying. Carlisle didn't not believe she would survive the transformation. When we finally did attempt to change her…" Edyth paused, only for a briefest second, "Something happened. Bella awoke as you see her now. Half-vampire and half-human."
Taras's mouth was hanging open, he didn't seem aware of it.
"Edyth, I don't understand." Elena was shaking her head.
"You hear her heart, don't you? It's too slow for a human. Her scent, it's human and vampire." Edyth said as calmly as she could manage.
"I've never heard of such a thing," Elena said. Her shoulders were still stiff, her expression cold.
"Come now, Elena. Open your mind."
It was Carmen who responded to Edyth's words. She stepped around Elena, ignoring her half-articulated protest, and walked carefully to stand right in front of me. She examined me carefully, taking in every detail.
"Your eyes have always been beautiful," she said in a low, calm voice, "but now they almost glow with an inner light, don't they?" And then, as if she could not help herself, she smiled.
"Thank you," I breathed.
They all glanced at each other at the sound of my voice.
"May I?" Carmen held out a hand toward my face.
I nodded once.
She gently placed a hand on my cheek, her head tilted slightly to the side. "You are warm, but… too cold for a human." She leaned in closer and sniffed. "Your heart beats, but I smell no blood in you—not blood I would desire, at least."
"What?" Taras demanded, coming closer. "How?"
Elena approached now. Reaching out her hand, "Please?" she glanced down at my own hand, her expression still cold.
I put my hand in hers, she felt my skin, examined my face. "Ah," she nodded. "How very strange. But I see now. You are not human, not strictly speaking."
"How did this happen?" Kate asked, coming closer now.
"When I was dying," I answered, "I needed a blood transfusion."
"We had few options," Edyth continued, "So we took a chance on a theory." Her eyes darted over to Julie.
"You used the werewolf's blood?" Taras's voice was shocked.
"Hey." Julie grumbled.
"Julie and her people possess advanced healing, we hoped that this would help Bella—and it did. It made her stronger. But the werewolves' blood is not compatible with our venom. The end result…" Edyth tightened her arm around me.
"A half-vampire." Elena whispered.
"Will the Volturi accept this?" Taras asked Elena.
"She is no longer a mortal," Elena replied. "If anything, she would be better adept at hiding the secret of the immortals than any of us."
"They'd be confused." Kate added. "But they'd understand, I'm sure."
"So what is this grave danger you warned us of?" Taras asked. "Surely, you're concerned about how they will react. The Volturi would be cautious but why—"
"The Volturi have been told that Bella is still human, and they've been informed of our friendship with the werewolves." Edyth answered, darkly.
The four vampires looked panicked now.
"The Volturi will not honor a truce with werewolves, Edyth." Elena's voice was grave. "Believe me, I know."
"We had intended to send Bella alone to meet with the Volturi. Her thoughts are protected from Aro and so Bella could hide the wolves' involvement."
"But who would do this to you?" Taras was angry now. "Why?"
"When Ivan saw Bella that day in the mountains," Edyth explained. "Bella hadn't hunted for several weeks. She appears more human when she doesn't hunt, and she had Julie with her."
Kate hissed, her eyes narrowing to slits. "Ivan did this? To you? To Carlisle?Ivan?"
"No," Taras whispered. "Someone else…"
"Alice saw him go to them," Edyth said. I wondered if the others noticed the way she winced just slightly when she spoke Alice's name.
"How could he do this thing?" Elena asked of no one.
"Imagine if you had seen Bella, looking even more human than she does now. Imagine if you knew the Volturi demanded she be changed." Edyth said.
"When Ivan saw me, I was telling Julie how happy I was that everything worked out—that I could stay in Forks, still be around my human family and friends."
Taras and Kate's eyes widened slightly as understanding began to dawn on them. The memory of their mother who refused to let go of her human life bringing pain into their expressions.
"Julie changed into her wolf form when she sensed Ivan and Ivan didn't wait for our explanation." Edyth continued.
Taras's eyes tightened. "No matter what he thought—what he might have felt… You are our family."
"There's nothing we can do about Ivan's choice now. It's too late. Alice gave us a month."
Both Taras's and Elena's heads cocked to one side. Kate's brow furrowed.
"So long?" Elena asked.
"They are all coming. That must take some preparation."
Elena gasped. "The entire guard?"
"Not just the guard," Edyth said, her jaw straining tight. "Aro, Caius, Marcus. Even the wives."
Shock glazed over all their eyes.
"Impossible," Elena said blankly.
"I would have said the same two days ago," Edyth said.
Elena scowled, and when she spoke it was nearly a growl. "But that doesn't make any sense. Why would they put themselves and the wives in danger?"
"It doesn't make sense from that angle. Alice said there was more to this than just punishment for what they think we've done. She thought you could help us."
"More than punishment? But what else is there?" Elena started pacing, stalking toward the door and back again as if she were alone, her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the floor.
"Where are the others, Edyth? Carlisle and Alice and the rest?" Taras asked.
Edyth's hesitation was almost unnoticeable. She answered only part of her question. "Looking for friends who might help us."
Taras leaned toward her, holding his hands out in front of him. "Edyth, no matter how many friends you gather, we can't help you win. We can only die with you. You must know that. Of course, perhaps the four of us deserve that after what Ivan has done now, after how we've failed you in the past—for his sake that time as well."
Edyth shook her head quickly. "We're not asking you to fight and die with us, Taras. You know Carlisle would never ask for that."
"Then what, Edyth?"
"We're just looking for witnesses. If we can make them pause, just for a moment. If they would let us explain…" She touched my cheek. "Prove that Bella has been changed, or at least that we did our best to change her. Explain that the wolves present no immediate danger to them. Champion the Volturi to show us some mercy."
Taras nodded slowly. "Do you think they will listen?"
"I don't know. If Ivan had only given us a chance to explain before going to the Volturi we may have been able to avoid this entirely."
"Bella still would have had to convince the Volturi her change was… satisfactory." Kate raised an eyebrow.
"Bella," Elena said quietly, still pacing, "is a rare creature. Aro would not risk destroying anything so unique without pause."
"We can witness to the quality of our family." Carmen finally said in a decided tone. "We can add our voices to yours. The Volturi are strict, but they are not without mercy."
"Without mercy…" Elena repeated, still distant.
"Yes, we can witness for you," Taras said. "Certainly that much. We will consider what more we might do."
"Taras," Edyth protested, hearing more in his thoughts than there was in his words, "we don't expect you to fight with us."
"If the Volturi won't pause to listen to our witness, if they will not show mercy, we cannot simply stand by," Taras insisted. "Of course, I should only speak for myself."
Kate snorted. "Do you really doubt me so much, brother?"
Taras smiled widely at her. "It is a suicide mission, after all."
Kate flashed a grin back and then shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm in."
"I, too, will do what I can do to protect you all," Carmen agreed. "Do not be so troubled, Bella." She leaned forward and kissed my cheek.
"Thank you, all of you." I said quietly.
For a moment I thought that maybe what we were attempting might be possible. Maybe we would be shown mercy by our enemies.
And then I remembered that Alice had left us, and my hope vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
