It was a week or so after the new year, Michelle and Kate returned to travelling around the world together. Carla and Peter were still running the bistro as requested by Michelle as she wanted to continue travelling. Carla wasn't best pleased by this because she missed her sister and best friend not being on her doorstep but she knew she had to accept it as they have accepted it when she has decided to go abroad herself.
"Carla? Earth to Carla" Peter waves his hand in front of a daydreaming Carla to see if he can break her from her thoughts.
"Sorry" She replies, barely a whisper, then scurries off to continue collecting glasses.
Daniel comes back with the order from table 4 and takes it into the kitchen. Upon return he questions Peter.
"You alright Peter?" trying to make small talk
"I don't know really, does Carla seem alright to you? it's just that she seems unusually quiet" he suggests waiting for a reaction.
"Come to think of it, she has been rather quiet, I just thought she was having an 'off' day or that she had a row with you or family or sommit" Daniel says. "Any way I better take table 7's order, if you need to talk you know where I am" He smiles making his way over to table 7.
This got Peter thinking that there may be more to what's going on with Carla then she's letting on and this time he wasn't going to take his eye off the ball. He didn't want to confront her because then she would put those barriers straight up and he wouldn't get anywhere. Initially he was scared because he didn't want her to relapse and be pulled back into the deep depression she succumbed to before. So, he had to be smart about approaching the situation with her he decided that they could have a romantic meal together to see if he could get her to open up.
"Right baby, I'm going on my break now, will you be ok running this place, Daniel's in so if you have any problems get him to give me a ring if you don't feel up to it" he kisses her on the cheek and gets a nod as a reply he then heads off to prepare for tonight.
Later on in the evening, Peter has set up the flat with a take away in the oven so the food would be kept warm. Peter lights candles around the flat trying to make it as calming as possible so Carla would be more inclined to open up about her feelings.
"Peter you did all his for me, I don't deserve it" she says firmly trying to avoid the situation at any cost.
"Well I do love you and I thought we could have some one on one time like we used to we don't have to talk about work or family its just about you and me" he says softly
"You didn't have to do this y'know I know what you're aiming for Barlow" she says smugly.
"And what's that then?" he questions but not too abruptly in fear of Carla rejecting this opportunity to tell him what's bothering her.
"You've done all this in a bid to get me to open up to you about what's going on up here" she says tapping her finger to her head.
"Look, okay, you got me I just wanna know if you're okay but I guess if you don't want your favourite from the Chinese takeaway then suit yourself then its no big deal"
"I'm not saying that am I?" she says "I understand your concern but I'm just tired okay that's all" she says rather bluntly which alerts Peter.
"Why didn't you say I could've reduced your shifts so you could have a rest?" he proposes to her
Peter witnesses a tear fall from her eyes and greets her with a soft smile to see if she would open up but instead he watches her walk towards the bedroom and she shuts the door. He knows not to push the matter of her feelings now as he doesn't want to create an argument on the topic of her feelings as he would probably never hear the end of it. Instead he considers contacting her psychologist but he knew that she would feel like her privacy has been invaded. He doesn't want to have to do the 'no-nonsense' approach with her as it can lead either way but it's looking like he may not have a choice. He tentatively approaches the bedroom door with a light knock in case he startles her but he just watches her curled up in a foetal position under a fluffy blanket fast asleep. Maybe she was just tired after all.
Around 4am in the morning Carla wakes in a cold sweat riddled with anxiety as she thrashes around under the duvet trying to rid herself of the thoughts that plague her mind. Of course, this thrashing wakes Peter up and he is quick to try and calm her down.
"We need to go Peter we have to go, please" she begs
"Carla go where sweetie, where do we need to go" he tries to understand but it's hard when he's not her.
"I don't know just away from here, please" her eyes wide with fear.
"Okay then let's go for a walk to see if we can calm down" he suggests and she nods in agreement
They end up going to the red rec for a walk just to get out of the flat to see if they can calm Carla's nerves. It seemed to work she seemed much calmer and much brighter.
"It's pretty here, at this time in the morning" she smiles peacefully
"Carla you do realise it's still dark right?" Peter jokes and gets a playful nudge in return
"Sorry" she says apologetically as if it was her fault she was feeling the way she did
"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about you know, I know that some days you're going to have bad days. I understand. You know I'll be here if you just wanna scream and shout or if you wanna cry and cuddle. Whatever you need I will be here for you. You know that right?" he meaningfully says.
"I know it's just that it's embarrassing that I dragged you out here at 4am in the morning because it felt like the walls were caving in and I guess I just wanted to be free" Carla says with tears appearing in her eyes.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about Carla, I don't care if we have to drive to the other side of the world to make you feel ok and I know you might think it's hard for me to understand sometimes but I will always try my best to make you happy" Peter says in hope that this will persuade Carla to open up about the darkest things in her mind.
"Ok Peter, but that's a bit extreme" she jokes "I don't know what came over me to be honest with ya. I guess I kind of just felt trapped like there was something which was going to hurt me or something. I know that there's not but sometimes it just feels like that" she says on the brink of tears to see if Peter can understand.
"Oh love, I understand but you know I would never let anyone harm you" he wipes the tears from her cheeks brushing them over her cheek bones
"Can we go back now, it's pretty cold out here" she turns to Peter and smiles feeling a little better about the situation she was in
"Sure, come on then" he holds his hand out for her to hold as they make the 10 minute walk home to their flat.
Back at the flat Carla is curled up on the sofa watching morning TV while Peter potter's around in the kitchen making some food for them both and getting Carla's medication for her along with a glass of water ready for her to take it. He knows that its bad that he is doubting her about her taking her medication but he would like to see her take it this time to be sure that she isn't feeling this way because she hasn't been taking it.
"Breakfast is served" he smiles and places the scrambled eggs on toast in front of her along with the glass of water and her medication for her to take after.
"Thank you, baby" she smiles and begins to eat the food in front of her
"You don't have to go into work today you know" Peter says
"I don't know I just want a duvet day, no stress but I guess it wouldn't be the same without you being here. What if I have a panic attack and you're not here to help me, what if I can't do it on my own" she says tearfully
"Oh Carla, I can see if I can get cover for the bistro if you want, I don't like to leave it on its own that's the problem" he says
"I understand but please try" she says
After trying to get cover for the bistro he asked Ryan and Ali to see if they could cover for him to boost staff numbers and he agreed. Unbeknown to Carla, Peter was still worried about her but like she said maybe she was just tired and that was contributing to her bad mood and high states of anxiety but maybe a duvet day might do her the world of good.
"Right, I've got Ryan and Ali to cover for us so we should be ok for today" he smiles
"So then what do you want to do then" he questions
"Can we just snuggle and watch a movie and binge on chocolate and junk food" she proposes
"I don't see why not" he says
After watching the first film and almost finishing all the food in the house Carla fell asleep on Peter's chest as he stroked her hair. After 45 minutes of being asleep Carla woke in a state of panic.
"Woah shh, it's me, Peter. You're ok" Peter says softly whilst he wraps his arms around her timid frame
Carla doesn't reply instead tears roll down her face and her breathing is fast. Her eyes dart around the room as if to say 'help me' her body was ridged with fear and anxiety as if she was having a psychotic episode again.
"Carla?" Peter questions "What's up, baby. I hate seeing you like this. Please just speak to me" he pleads
"I-I don't know anymore" she says with a sad tone to her voice
"Maybe we should speak to your psychologist again" he suggests "I'm really worried Car."
"Are you having nightmares?" he asks trying to understand what's going on in her mind
"I guess" she says gloomily "I don't know there was- I don't know" she says as tears stream down her face
"Please tell me I want to understand" he persists
"I was in the flat you were gone all day from work and I saw an envelope on the table and it said 'Carla' on it, I opened it and it was a letter from you saying that-" she takes a breath "saying that you have gone because you didn't love me anymore and that I was better off without you. I was so scared you were going to leave me Peter" she says as more tears continue to fall down her face
"Oh Carla, I'm never ever going to leave you ok, never ever because I love you and I want to help you ok. Me and you are in for the long haul and that is what counts ok" Peter says reassuringly
"How do you know what to say at the right times?" she chuckles softly and smiles
"That my love, is the magic which is me" he smiles
"Oi, that's my line" she nudges him in the chest
Peter now knew that Carla was having symptoms of her paranoia again, this obviously worried him to the extent that she may relapse and be drawn into the horrible place of psychosis again. She didn't seem overly paranoid to the point that she may retreat back into the darkest place of her mind as she was opening up about what was going on in her mind. Peter decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and he warned her family that she was starting to get paranoid again so that they could help her if needed or to see if they notice a change her behaviour. This way he was covering all avenues so people could pick up on it so he could act upon it so she doesn't get worse.
This was a setback, a setback which neither of them needed but they had to deal with and prevent things from making it worse. Everyone has a setback every now and then, right? It was just a way of life he thought. Setbacks happen but he made sure he tried to make it a positive for Carla so that she would confide in him more and that she didn't bottle everything up. Maybe their new beginning was going to be harder then they thought.