It was getting towards the end of January and things were going far from smoothly. The bistro was running great, it was the only thing which was running smoothly but Carla was still continuously distant from her family, the only person that can seem to get through to her was Peter, even that was a struggle. Carla would no longer willingly come forward with how she was feeling so Peter was constantly prompting her to reveal how she felt about certain situations, with some feelings becoming more prominent in different situations. This became increasingly hard for Peter as he had tried to make changes to her lifestyle, but her heart just doesn't seem into anything at the moment. Peter knew that there was only one option and that was to speak to her psychologist and Carla wasn't going to like it.
"Carla, please speak to me" Peter pleaded
"There's nothing to say Peter, nothing ok so please just stop hassling me to open up to you" Carla says angrily and storms off to the bedroom again. This was a daily occurrence now and I didn't seem to be getting any better. Peter waited 20 minutes for her to calm down before he entered.
"Carla, love?" Peter said quietly trying not to scare her or make her jump but he got no reply, instead he just went and sat beside her and stoke her hair.
"I don't want you to fight it sweetheart I just want you to listen ok?" he says hesitantly and he got a nod in response.
"Maybe we should try group counselling, together, remember you psychologist suggested that didn't he?" he puts to her to receive a nod again as she continues to stroke her hair. "You never know I might be able to understand better this way, that way I can help you" he smiles
"I don't know" she whispers. "I'm scared" she says quietly as tears fill her eyes.
"Of what, sweetheart" he asks sadly
"I don't want to talk about it" she persists as she pulls the duvet over her.
"Ok I won't pressurise you, just so you know I'm here if you want to talk" he turns to kiss her temple she says nothing in reply
Peter exits the room and prepares to go to work knowing all well that Carla probably won't want to talk any time soon. All he could do was worry.
After Peter enters the flat soon after leaving work, he sees Carla curled up on the sofa still in the pyjamas he left her this morning.
"Carla?" he says quietly knowing to be gentle with her knowing how vulnerable she it at the moment
"Yeah?" she says barely audible still shaky from anxiety
"You alright, love" he smiles "I'm going to phone your psychologist ok?"
"Ok" she whispers knowing that she probably can't go on like this
After the phone call with the psychologist Peter booked an appointment for a couple of days to see if he can get Carla to open up. This way he might have some direction into understanding her mind so he can provide the right support for her if someone else is present so it doesn't seem like he is harassing her to open up.
A couple of days later Carla hadn't really improved that much, she was still very secluded and upset with the way she was living her life. Peter was making sure that they were prepared for the counselling session they booked for the day. He knew it was going to be hard to convince Carla to go but he had a plan.
"Carla are you ready?" Peter shouts through to the bedroom. Carla appears wearing her beige hoody and a pair of leggings, something comfortable which will make her feel at ease with the situation she was about to be put in.
After a long drive to the clinic where she was having her counselling sessions, Peter noticed a change in Carla's mood. He noticed that she was becoming more and more anxious but he assured that he was there and that he would protect her. Upon entering the room Carla and Peter sat on the sofa while Carla picked away at her fingernails. The psychologist introduced himself to them making sure that they were aware that what they said in the room stays in the room and that it didn't need to be acted on unless Carla was in danger to herself or others.
"So then Carla, what's been happening then?" the psychologist smiles
"Go on love, we won't judge you" Peter suggests to try and get Carla to open up.
"I don't know really" she says
"Shall we start with how you feel?" the psychologist suggests and Carla just shrugs her shoulders in response. The psychologist then diverts his attention to Peter thinking that it might help Carla to open up.
"So then Peter, when did things start getting difficult for Carla?" he questions
"I don't know really-" he says before being disrupted by an agitated Carla nudging him in the ribs "Hey, its ok you don't need to be worried" he says tentatively kissing the top of her head. "What's bothering you?" he smiles a Carla hoping it would cause her to relax.
"Please don't tell them" she persists "Please, please don't I don't want to go back there" she begs as tears fill her eyes
"Where don't you want to go Carla?" Peter asks
"Back" she says bluntly
"Do you mean back to the unit Carla?" the psychologist interrupts
"I don't know, maybe" she shrugs her shoulders
"Carla, its ok to show how you feel, we want to help you and to do that we need to understand what's going on in your mind that way we can work together to find a way to help you cope better so you don't have to go back to the unit" the psychologist tries to compromise
"Sometimes you just wake up and you just wanna feel like yourself again, you want to feel invincible and feel like you're in control, I guess" she says wiping the tears furiously from her cheeks
"Oh Carla" Peter says sympathetically "Why didn't you say anything? You know you can talk to me don't you?" he says sadly
"I know it's just when I feel like I'm not in control things just go wrong like it did last time" she sniffs
"Carla, the last time you had no professional support behind you, you were under a lot of stress with work and you were receiving a lot of grief from you family. It's ok to have bad days, it doesn't automatically mean you are going to be sectioned again if you have a bad day. What I suggest is to increase therapy sessions, whether this be with or without Peter present, this means that you will have more opportunities to express the way you feel if you're unable to do it one to one with Peter alone at home. This means you can do it without judgement and hopefully this will improve your mood positively" the psychologist asks.
"What do you say, love?" Peter prompts
"I guess so, I mean as long as I don't have to be sectioned again then I'll do it. I want to get better Peter I really do" Carla says hopefully.
"So is it ok if I increase your counselling sessions to once a week instead of once every two weeks?" the psychologist asks
"I think that's fine? What d'ya say Peter?" she questions
"Fine by me, whatever you want, love" he says making sure he fully supports her decisions
Upon entering the flat after counselling, Peter could see Carla was exhausted from having to talk about her feelings for prolonged periods of time. He left to pick a few bits up from Dev's this contained of some snacks and drinks for Carla so she could just chill for the rest of the day. She liked to do this after counselling sessions just to unwind from the stress of having to tell people her feelings.
"Peter!" a shriek came from across the road, Peter knew all well who this was but he tried to keep his cool.
"Hi Leanne" he said bluntly trying to hide his annoyance but failing miserably
"Oh charming" she rolls her eyes "Any way back to the point, I want to go out with Nick and I was wondering if you could have Si, as he's grounded for being a damn right moody teenager" she proposes
"When exactly?" he questions
"Today?" she says
"You are kidding me, right? You drop this on me now of all times?" he says infuriated and unable to deal with Leanne's demands knowing that he needs to get back to Carla.
"Well I did ring you, but you never answered so I guess the only way to get your attention was to see you in person" Leanne explains
"You're right you did ring, sorry I didn't pick up, I was at counselling with Carla" he says whilst checking his phone. "Can I get back to you its just that she's finding it difficult and I would like to run it by her before I go making decisions behind her back" Peter tries to explain to Leanne so she can understand.
"Ok fine, but don't leave it too long ok" Leanne says calmly "You look after her ok" she says then starts to walk off.
Not long after his somewhat weird confrontation with Leanne, Peter returned to the flat with Carla's bits still in total confusion about why Leanne was being nice one minute then the next she was being vindictive and vile. He places the bag of food on the coffee table in front of Carla.
"You took your time, I was worried that you might have left me" she pouted
"You know I would never do that to you" he smiles causing her to smile
"Surely it didn't take you an hour to get all of what I asked for?" she interrogates
"Ok fine you got me, Leanne was wondering if I could have Si because apparently he's being 'a moody teenager' and can't be left alone because he's been grounded" he says while rolling his eyes.
"Aren't all teenagers moody?" she questions
"Well my dear, you are one smart cookie aren't you?" he replies casually as she smirks
"He can come round y'know as long as he doesn't mind putting up with miserable old me" she pouts
"Its all me, me, me today isn't it?" he plays along with her
"You Mr Barlow will be getting a smack in a minute if you don't shut your gob" she replies sternly
"Did I touch a nerve?" he dares to question as Carla gets up out of her seat and starts smacking him with a cushion
"Ok ok, truce" he says defeated
"Good" she smiles pleased with herself "By the way it's a yes"
"A yes?" he says confused not remembering what the question was
"To Simon staying" she states "Aww baby, are you losing your memory" she pouts
"No" he mocks trying to be offended "Let me ring Leanne then"
An hour or so passed and Peter left the flat to collect Simon, they decided that they would go out and get a takeaway as they were out anyway this way they wouldn't have to create a meal from scratch which they weren't great at doing even on a good day.
"Hey Si" Carla called as they both entered the flat.
"Hi Carla" Simon replied "how are you?" he says whilst digging into his Chinese.
"You know me Si, one day at a time" she said trying not think about the morning and how difficult it was for her to talk about her emotions. "I hear you've been grounded" she says trying to divert the conversation away from how she was feeling, she had enough of that for one day.
"I guess you could say that, so get this my mum told me to mind Oliver, for a bit while she popped out she came back then complained that I didn't do enough to help her out, as if minding my 2 year old brother wasn't enough" he vented
"You know whenever you want to get away for a bit give me or your dad a ring and you can come and chill here. It'll be me just here as I'm not working at the minute but I wouldn't mind the company, the offers open whenever you need it" she replies
"Thank you, Carla, I really appreciate it, sometimes it just gets annoying with toys scattered all over the place and having to babysit. Sometimes I just don't like being taken advantage on because I'm a teenager and capable of heating up some baby food and cutting some vegetables" he rolls his eyes whilst Carla giggles
"You alright dad?" Simon asks
"I was just thinking actually, I don't want to put you on the spot Carla and I don't want you to feel like you have to say yes but how about we do the second bedroom up so Si can stay more often, his own space where he won't get disturbed" he suggests
"Yeah, I mean it's practically empty so it's a blank canvas, I'm fine with it, what about you Si?" she says to make sure he has a decision on the matter.
"I would really like that, as long as I don't get in the way" he says worried knowing that Carla's mental health can be a bit up and down.
"You won't" Carla replies firmly. "Right then you two can go out this weekend and style that room however you wish, within reason obviously and don't think I'm getting involved in painting or any other task which involves decorating or styling" she says as she places the dishes in the dishwasher.
"Don't worry Si I will work on her" Peter says quietly so Carla doesn't hear and Si laughs in return.
It was getting late and Simon was getting tired so he decided to head to bed after asking Leanne to see if he could stay at his dads tonight this left Peter and Carla to reflect on the day they had before heading to bed themselves. At times like this they couldn't think their lives could get any better than them both being happy and having everyone's support on their relationship but knowing their luck it something wold probably happen then they would be back at square one.