After attending intense counselling sessions for over two weeks now Carla was starting to return to her former self. Her panic attacks were less frequent, and her periods of forced anxiety lessened she was finally feeling more and more human again and for once she was looking forward to the future.
"Carla?" Peter called as he woke up to a cold and empty bed
"What?" she snapped instantly regretting it.
"Woah, calm down someone got out of the wrong side of the bed his morning" he stated rolling his eyes trying to joke with her to lighten the mood
"Sorry" she mumbles making her way over to Peter and wrapping her arms around his waist and breathing in his scent making her feel safe and secure
"It's alright, love" he kisses her head taking in the smell of her shampoo
"Can we stay like this forever?" she questions
"As much as I would love to stay like this forever, one of us has to get to work to open up" he says
"Fine, but later all I want to do is sit on that sofa and chill, block out the world and enjoy your company" she suggests with a smile
"Your wish is my command, now come on go and get ready" he says as she turns away heading to the bathroom to get ready.
After Carla and Peter finish getting ready, they take the short walk to the bistro only to be interrupted by Sarah calling after them.
"Carla!" Sarah shouts, desperation in her voice
"Oh hello, if this is to do with the factory I'm really not interested" Carla said thinking it was the only thing that Sarah would want her for
"No, no its nothing to do with the factory, well this letter came for you, I thought it was a bit weird as you don't work there anymore" Sarah states handing her the letter "Now that I've given you that, I've got to get going so see you soon" she smiles.
"I thought you got all the post redirected" Peter says
"I did" she says beginning to open the letter "No, this isn't happening" shaking her head frantically before running off as far away from people as possible
"Carla!" Peter shouts
After letting the staff into the bistro Peter leaves to check all the obvious places Carla might be. Starting with the Rover's.
"Jenny is Carla here?" he questions, desperation in his voice
"No, love she's not" Jenny says sympathetically
"What's going on?" Johnny comes out
"Carla's gone AWOL" Peter says "She got a letter this morning, she opened it and read it then stormed off clearly upset"
"Oh, I'm sure she just needs to let off some steam" Johnny says
"You don't understand, she's been struggling a lot lately, been attending more counselling sessions because she's been having these nightmares" Peter says knowing all well he shouldn't have revealed Carla's struggles without her permission
"Oh god, Sorry I didn't realise this was more serious" Johnny says in a panic
"Right, I'm going to continue looking ok no point in everyone dropping everything to go on a massive search for her" Peter says trying no to worry the rest of her family.
Peter pulls out his phone after exhausting all options and finds Michelle's contact and dials her number hoping that Carla may have contacted her.
"'Chelle?"
"Hey Peter, everything alright?" she questions
"No not really, no. I don't suppose you've heard from Carla today have you? You're kind of my last hope" he asks desperately
"No, I haven't sorry, has something happened? Oh god she's not ill again is she?" she replies concerned for her friend
"Well yes, oh I don't know, she got this letter this morning read it then stormed off in tears. I didn't get a chance to look at it so I have no idea where she could be. I've checked all the obvious places but she's not there." He informs Michelle
"Ok there is one place that she might be if she's feeling down, but I really don't know what it will mean for her if she is there" she replies
"Where I need to know" Peter says with a desperate tone in his voice
"The quarry, we used to hang about there when one of us felt down or upset just to clear our heads" she informs Peter
"Okay thank you so much I owe you one" he replies then hangs up the phone
After arriving at the quarry he sees Carla sat on the edge looking into the distance. He walks up to her and sits next to her trying not to startle her.
"Hey, love you look cold, I've got your hoody, the beige one you like" he smiles placing it in her stone cold hands
"It's pretty isn't it" she says barely audible. "I used to come here as a kid, mull over my problems, try to make them go away. I think it was the thrill" she faces Peter with a smile on her face
"Well I'll definitely tell you, it's thrilling me enough" he says trying to stifle a joke
"You were never one for heights were you" she giggles
"Which is all the more reason to go home" he suggests
"Is Peter Barlow actually scared?" she mocks
"Would it make you better if I said yes?" he says
"Maybe" she dips her head trying to contain a laugh
"Okay then we'll go" she turns and smiles at him as he guides her cold body over to the car
On return to the flat, Peter decided he would pick up a takeaway for them both so they wouldn't have to cook. Peter offered to run Carla a bath to warm her up after being in the freezing cold for two hours and she gratefully accepted. Whilst Carla was in the bath he alerted her family that he had found her and that they didn't need to worry and that she was in safe hands. All he needed to do now was to get the information of the letter she received out of her.
"Nice bath?" he asks
"It was great, warmed me right up" she smiled as she came to sit next to him on the sofa
"Want me to get the duvet?" he suggested
"Yes please" she cheekily grinned at him
A while later both Carla and Peter were snuggled under the duvet on the sofa in their flat watching cheesy films while they ate their takeaway.
"I'm sorry I went to the quarry" Carla said apologetically "I just needed to be reminded on how far I've come, that's all"
"It's ok, I understand" Peter says
"It's just that sometimes things have got to sink in to make it feel real, I guess" she tries to explain "How did you know I was there?" she asks
"I had to phone 'Chelle, I'm sorry, I was worried" he explains
"No, don't be sorry I should've told you where I was going but I needed to go" she says regretfully
"Carla it's fine" he says firmly "I had to tell Johnny that you went and that you have been struggling recently, Sorry"
"You did what? What did you tell him" she says angrily
"Carla calm down" Peter tries to reassure her
"Calm down? Calm flaming down? I don't want to calm down Peter you revealed my struggles to people who I didn't want them to be revealed to, you violated my privacy" she says furiously
"I did it because I was worried about you, I was scared that you may have gone or hurt yourself or done something irrational" he tries to explain calmly hoping that his temperament will rub off on Carla
"But I gave you no permission to do that!" she shouts
"Johnny says that you were just letting off steam but I explained that you got a letter from the prison and that it could change the way you feel to quickly for you to cope, I was worried and scared that I might lose you again ok" Peter justifies
"You wouldn't lose me Peter" she reassures him "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, it's just annoying when I don't have control on who knows what about me" she tries to explain
"It's ok I understand, but you know what would make me understand more?" he says
"What's that, then?" she replies
"If you did the dishes" he jokes
"How did I know that was coming?" she grins
"Maybe you're a mind reader?" he suggests
"If I can barely understand what's going on in my mind then I doubt that I can be a mind reader" she replies with a tone of sadness in her voice as she gets up and does the dishes
Peter watches her from the distance knowing that she still has a long way to go but he knew at the end of the day all the struggle, heartbreak and trauma would still be permanently etched into her mind. In a way he thought it was amazing how her mind forgot the deepest and darkest parts of her breakdown as in it was protecting her. If she ever wanted to talk about what happened on the 31st May he knew that he could provide the information she needed not that she would probably remember it.
After doing the dishes Carla goes into the bedroom and reappears with the letter from this morning clearly opened. She walked over to Peter who was still watching the TV and sits on his lap knowing that she would need the comfort to read this letter. Upon opening the letter which was obviously from the prison she took a deep breath and hoped for the best.
"Can you read it? I've already read it but I think it would make sense if I had someone read it aloud to me, it might help me understand better" she asks Peter, anxiety present in her voice
"Of course, baby" he says giving a warm smile in return
Carla,
I am writing this letter to tell you how much you mean to me. I want you to understand that what I did was NOT my fault and that certain individuals pushed me to the edge and I had to protect you I hope that one day you will understand why. I hope you are well, I really do. Anyway I will cut to the point.
After finishing my stint in solitary confinement I was finally allowed to interact with the inmates at the prison and that's when I discovered an old copy of the Weatherfield Gazette. I saw that there was a roof collapse at Underworld which claimed the life of that Rana girl. Knowing you, I'm sure that you would've done anything to protect your workers as they're like your family.
A month later I was reading the Weatherfield Gazette again and there was a short column on Underworld saying that it wasn't an accident and that it was done deliberately. This got me thinking that you must have some serious enemies on that street of yours or you were stupid enough to destroy everything you have built up. I don't understand how naïve you were for that to happen, so unlike you but I will take it as is.
I love you sis, and I hope one day you will understand what I did and accept it for what it is. You will always be my big sister and I love you for you.
Rob x
"How do you feel about it?" Peter asks
"Oh I don't know, this isn't really his style, I don't really understand to be honest" she replies
"So what? You think that he's being remorseful because he's lonely in there or something" Peter questions
"The thing is with Rob is that he likes to be the one who calls the shots, so him sending a letter with his concern for me and my life just doesn't make sense. When I saw him after he sent that visiting order after Johnny told me he was my father, he showed no remorse for blackmail and damn right annoyed that I ruined his attempts a blackmailing Johnny for money he can't spend. He just wants to think about his future and no one else's. That's what I don't understand." She says distantly trying to recall things from years ago
"I have an idea, why don't you write a letter back, there's a return address so its not like you're going out of your way for him to receive it" Peter suggests
"I'll give it a go, can't be that hard" she confidently replies
After about an hour of trying to write the perfect letter Carla finally finished writing it. She made sure that it expressed her feelings about the situation she was in with her brother and the relationship she had with him and the relationships she had with her family. She knew this could go either way she knew that Rob could take great offence to this letter and that he could hate her forever or he could actually understand things from her perspective and accept her for who she now and not hold any grudges against her or her family or Peter for that matter.