Chapter Note: Slight AU, in which Chizuru is a normal human woman and Okita does not have tuberculosis. Also a play off of Okita's route in Zuisouroku, where Chizuru impersonates a geisha in order to help the Shinsengumi.

Sake Drops in Teacups

Part II: An Unpaid Debt

Sen drummed her fingers on the hardwood desk beneath her.

"Does he mean to take Chizuru-chan away from us?" she asked.

Kimigiku considered from where she knelt on the floor.

"It's hard to say. A man like that…"

Sen nodded. She'd heard many stories about Okita Souji, First Division Captain of the Shinsengumi. She was smart enough to know that half of them were the baseless cries of his enemies, but many of them she entirely believed, and for good reason.

"She's started refusing all other private guests," Sen mused. Kimigiku smiled.

"He is certainly fond of her," she allowed. It needn't be said that Chizuru was smitten with him, however particular his personality.

"He lacks resolve," Sen pointed out. "I won't leave Chizuru-chan to a man like that so easily. Even if he survives this war…it will probably be difficult. Here, at least she's safe."

Kimigiku looked up at her mistress patiently. It wouldn't be the first time one of their girls found a patron willing to take their hand in marriage and pay their debts, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Yet she understood that her mistress cared for all of them.

She took their safety very seriously, and Chizuru in particular was a sweet girl who, for all her hard work and talents, perhaps didn't belong in Shimabara.

Chizuru swept Souji's hair out of his eyes. She returned his lazy grin with a shy smile. With his head pillowed on her lap, she settled into the brief lull in their conversation with a deep, contented breath. Sometimes she had a hard time believing that this was real.

His idly stroking her wrist served to remind her—he was here with her, because he wanted to be (she knew Souji well enough by now, he didn't do anything unless it suited him).

"Ne, Chizuru-chan," he said, drawing her attention.

"Hm?"

"When did you get here?"

She blinked at his question. "Eh? When?"

His smile turned wry.

"That's what I said."

"Oh...well, I suppose it's been a few years now," she replied. The memories were old, but it still made her heart ache to remember.

"My parents died when I was young, in a fire that consumed our home. My uncle," she couldn't stop the slight pause at the thought of him, "knew Sen-san through some mutual acquaintances. She agreed to let me stay here."

Souji's hand pressing on hers brought her back to the present. His thumb swept over the back of her hand.

"Why didn't that man take you in?" he asked. Her gaze edged away from his.

How many times had she asked herself that same question? Even then, she hadn't known her uncle well. But at the very least, they had been related by blood.

Chizuru smiled a little anyway. "Maybe he thought it would be easier for me here, to live with other women."

In any case, she was glad for it. If not, I would have never met Okita-san.

"It doesn't really matter, does it?"

This time, it was Souji's voice that brought her out of her thoughts. He looked pensive, his green eyes narrowed.

"What?" she asked.

"At the end of the day, family is just a bunch of strangers that happen to be there when you were born," he said. "They aren't people you chose."

He sounded curt, distant even, but the words themselves…they had to be his way of trying to comfort her.

Despite that coldness in his voice, she held his hand a little tighter.

"Yes," she nodded.

Thank you, Okita-san…

Souji made his way back to the compound late that afternoon. He should have been able to get there in time for his evening patrol, but while walking through the streets of Kyoto he found himself a bit distracted.

It was hard not to picture Chizuru's downcast face as she talked about her past. At the time he'd been annoyed to be reminded of his own; all too well he could see in his mind, the day his sister brought him to Shieikan Hall.

Souji shook his head to clear that away as Shinsengumi Headquarters came into view. His division wasn't gathered by the entrance yet, so he must have made even better time than he thought. He went to his room for his blue haori and headgear.

"Did you have a relaxing afternoon?" Harada asked. He tossed Souji a grin from where he leaned against one of the building's support beams. Of all the people to catch him getting back, Harada was probably the worst option.

Souji held back his irritation to adopt his usual smirk.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Sano-san," he said smoothly. "I only went to mail a letter."

Harada's amber eyes were laughing. "For three hours?"

"If you must know, I stopped through the market on the way back. Can't have Hijikata-san giving me anymore extra chores." Souji made a convincing act of seeming annoyed (which wasn't all that hard while being forced to think of Hijikata).

"We really ought to find him a page," he mused.

Harada only sighed as amusement played on his face.

"So how is Chizuru-chan today?" he asked.

Souji stayed quiet, but his mouth thinned with very real annoyance. Harada laughed.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

Souji ignored him in favor of adjusting his haori. His men were probably starting to gather for their patrol by now.

"Aw, come on. Don't be so sour," Harada cajoled.

Souji rolled his eyes. "Since when do you care what I do in my free time, Sano-san?"

"I don't. Not how you're thinking, anyway," Harada shook his head. "I'm just surprised. You're not usually one to get so serious."

Souji smiled sharply.

"Who says I'm serious?"

"You don't have to say it." Harada crossed his arms. Some of his good humor left though, as he considered it.

"You sure you know what you're doing?"

Souji was starting to get bored with this conversation.

"You're not very good at being cryptic, Sano-san. Maybe you should start saying what you mean."

"I mean, have you thought at all what happens to her if you do get serious?"

Honestly at this point, Souji didn't have time for one of Harada's philosophies on women. Before he could say as much, the man was already talking again.

"Let's say you get married. Do you plan on having her live here in the compound, surrounded by men she doesn't know?" Harada pointed out. "What happens when this war gets on its way, and you have to leave her behind, like Kondou-san had to leave his wife and child behind in Edo?"

Souji didn't answer. He wouldn't admit it, but Harada's words were getting to him. Although he had been giving a surprising bit of thought to the future in recent weeks, he wasn't used to his problems being put in front of him that bluntly.

Harada must've guessed at some of his thoughts, because he relented with a companionable sigh.

"All I'm saying is, think it through."

Something's wrong.

Chizuru could feel it, like an unnerving tingle down her spine that wouldn't go away. She tried to explain as much to Kosuzu, but her friend had a knack for being incredibly caring as she was straightforward. She had been in Shimabara for far longer than Chizuru.

Both of them sat at a basin washing their clothes with several of the other young women of the Sumi.

"It's been a few weeks since Okita-san has visited, hasn't it?" Kosuzu said knowingly, without looking up from her washing.

An older girl shook her head. "You can't be so foolish."

"Men's desires change with the seasons. Why do you think geisha exist in the first place?" said another, "let this be a lesson to you."

"Please guard your heart, Chizuru-chan," Kosuzu said.

Chizuru looked away, frowning deeply. She knew most of them, in particular Kosuzu, were coming from a place of kindness. But she just couldn't take that as the truth.

Okita-san.

He hadn't forgotten about her. There had to be another reason. Maybe the incident at Aburano Koji had been more serious than he'd let on, or maybe it was something else. Something else that prevented him from coming to her.

Her heart ached at the possibility of him being hurt, more even, that she couldn't be there to help him if he was.

She wouldn't even entertain the thought of something worse.

As Chizuru dressed and slid delicate pins into her hair that evening, she realized that it was getting harder to bring herself to do so. She would never want to burden Sen, who had been kind enough to offer her a home, a livelihood and protection. But she could admit, at least to herself, that perhaps for the first time she was starting to want something for her life that was hers, and hers alone…however selfish that was.

After a deep sigh, Chizuru applied the rest of her makeup and went down to her first guest room of the night with Kosuzu. It was a large and boisterous party of men she actually recognized as regulars of the establishment. Like tonight, they were typically a loud bunch. She tried not to listen to their conversation as she made her rounds serving food and drink, but eventually something did catch her attention.

"Those miserable dogs finally got what was coming to 'em, far as I'm concerned," one man said. He'd been drinking nearly nonstop since their group had arrived. Their leader sat at the head of the room, far more reserved with his cup, and his dark eyes sharp and gleaming with satisfaction.

"If the Commander dies of his wounds, the Wolves of Mibu will crumble from within," he said.

"You will have cut the head off the snake, Katsura-san," said the one who sat beside him. Chizuru believed she'd heard him called Murata-san.

Katsura himself seemed to take pleasure from the idea. Meanwhile, Chizuru worked to keep the mounting horror off her face as she realized they had to be speaking of Kondou Isami, the kind man who in the few times she'd seen him, had worn a broad smile on his face and nothing but warm regard for his men. From the way Souji had talked about him, Chizuru knew he admired the man greatly.

Her legs shook a little as she kneeled down next to him. His gaze slid over to her and dragged slowly up to her face. His mouth curved upwards into a smirk.

"You're a young thing, aren't you?" he drawled.

If possible, Chizuru tensed even more than she already was. She was practiced enough to play it away into an only slightly nervous smile. She would have refilled his cup instead of answering, but she realized her tokkuri flask was empty.

"I will bring you all more to drink," she said, bowing low before she made her escape. She couldn't know that Kosuzu had been watching her with concern.

Chizuru let out a steadying breath as she stood outside the room. She would have to go back eventually, but for just a moment she lingered. Pieces of their conversation drifted through the thin shoji panels, and she silently listened.

"What if the Commander recovers?" Murata said.

"The wound was deep," Katsura replied. "If the blood loss won't do it, a fever likely will. There isn't much that can be done for a gunshot."

Chizuru held a trembling hand over her mouth to keep from making any noise. She made her way to the kitchens as carefully and quickly as she could.

What do I do?

The thought rang over and over in her head as she prepared more sake. She couldn't leave the Sumi to warn anyone, and even if she could send a message that these men were here, would it get there in time? Probably not.

But I have to try.

Steeling herself, Chizuru left her task to find her mistress.

She soon wished that she hadn't.

Sen was apologetic, but firm. "I'm sorry, Chizuru-chan. I can't allow it."

Chizuru's eyes widened as they burned with tears of frustration. She forced them back for the moment and glanced over at Kimigiku, who kneeled beside her. The geisha said nothing.

"Sen-san…I—"

"I know this is important to you, but consider what happens here if the Shinsengumi meet those Choshu men now," Sen continued. "It would be impossible to contain the bloodshed, and not only will it disrupt our business, it will put all of us in danger."

Chizuru bowed low, touching her forehead to her hands on the floor.

"Sen-san, I…I understand what you're saying…but-but these men have done a heinous crime."

Sen nodded. "After they have gone, I will send your missive out to Shinsengumi headquarters in Fudodo Village. For now, these men are our guests. You should go back to attending them."

Chizuru wanted to refuse. For the first time, she considered going against her mistress's wishes…but ultimately, she just couldn't.

Wiping carefully at her face so her makeup would be preserved, she bowed again and quickly fled the room.

With a sigh, Sen opened her fan to somewhat hide herself as she frowned.

"Am I being unfair?" she asked.

Kimigiku tilted her head. "Is that how you feel?"

Sen chuckled humorlessly.

"I'm not sure anymore."

Souji wasn't particularly good at making tea, but Kondou didn't seem to mind. He was finally able to sit up in bed, and he held the steaming cup as if it were filled with the answer to all of life's questions.

Kondo looked over at him with concern. "Ne, Souji, you look a bit pale. Have you been getting enough sleep?"

Souji looked back at him in surprise. Then his shoulders sank with a small smile. Of course the man would ask him if he was all right.

"Yes, Kondou-san. You don't have to worry about me."

Kondou nodded, smiling warmly. "Ah, perhaps not. Toshi told me about the message we received from Geisha-san…ah, forgive me, what was her name?"

Souji frowned instinctively. He'd informed Hijikata about the note, but with the understanding that no one else needed to know who it had come from. A pang of guilt pricked at his chest.

"Ah, yes. I believe it was Chizuru-san?" Kondou asked. Souji nodded minimally.

"Hmm. She must indeed be fond of you, Souji. It's no small thing, to report on dangerous men like that."

Silently, Souji agreed that what she did was dangerous. Stupid even. But he shouldn't have been so surprised as he had, to know after months that he hadn't returned, she still hadn't forgotten him.

Maybe she still had faith in him.

"Souji. You will one day become…no, you are the Fifth Suzerain of the Tennen Rishin style," Kondou said, taking him out of his thoughts.

This was nothing new though. Souji knew that Kondou chose him as his successor, the fifth-generation master of Tennen Rishin Ryu. He just wasn't prepared to take on the responsibilities of that honor yet. Not until Kondou was a very old man who could no longer hold a sword.

Kondou's smile became somewhat amused.

"I had wanted to set you up with a nice girl from a good family," he said, "But, if a no-name farmer from Edo can become Commander of the Shinsengumi, then a young man of samurai birth can certainly choose his wife for himself."

It was one of those rare times when Souji didn't know what to say, or even what to do. Recently, his answer to that particular problem had been to do nothing—at least, until he could find a better answer. He'd been thinking about what Harada said that day, and it had stopped him from returning to Shimabara.

He was a sword, more than willing to give his life for Kondou and his goals for the Shinsengumi. Where would a girl like Chizuru fit into that, if he were to die fighting?

Her legs grew weak with relief when Kimigiku informed her who was requesting her so early in the afternoon. She forced herself to get a grip though. She quickly made her way into the room.

"Chizuru-chan, it's good to see you're doing well," Harada greeted. Shinpachi was smiling just as broadly as she felt.

"Those Choshu punks haven't hastled ya, have they?" Shinpachi asked.

Chizuru smiled and shook her head. "No, but I'm also relieved to see you both are well…can I ask how Kondou-san is recovering?"

She was tempted to ask about Souji as well, but she didn't want to seem so very desperate. Knowing he had accepted and read her message was enough.

"He's doing much better. His arm is healing little by little and he can stay awake for longer periods of time," Harada said. "Thank you for sending that note, by the way. It's good to know they haven't ditched town and we may still be able to catch them."

Chizuru looked down at her folded hands in her lap. She didn't deserve their thanks.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to get word to you sooner," she said softly.

"Ah, don't worry 'bout it. You probably did the best you could," Shinpachi said. Harada shot him a peeved look, before he smiled at her.

"We know you did," he said.

It only served to make her feel even guiltier. The sheer weight of it made her chest tight and her throat close up with emotion. Chizuru had figured out the reason why Souji hadn't come back; he'd probably realized, as she had, that someone like her had very little to offer a man like him.

Now, she felt more useless than ever.

"The next time," she said, finally earning the courage to look up at Harada and Shinpachi in the eyes.

"Next time," she repeated, with more resolve, "if they return, it won't be too late. I promise."

Harada and Shinpachi shared a look of surprise, but the former found his voice first as he quirked a wry grin.

"That's pretty serious of you. Just please be careful, Chizuru-chan."

They didn't stay long. Not as long as usual, anyway. Tensions were still a bit high, they said, but they'd been given permission to bring what news they could.

If they had only stayed a few hours longer, Chizuru wouldn't have found herself in her current predicament.

Once again, she sat beside Katsura of the Choshu domain. She itched to get up and send word, the men who attacked Kondou-san were back, and they were here.

She had to wait until she could formulate an appropriate excuse, but Akane, the young maiko apprentice with her, had brought more than enough food and drink to last for half the night.

"Those bastards. They have the devil's luck, that's all," said the one who often drank too much. She'd heard him called Harashi.

"Perhaps not for long," Murata said. "It shouldn't take long for the rest of the preparations to be in place."

What preparations? Chizuru thought desperately. Would they try to attack the Shinsengumi directly this time?

Suddenly Katsura glanced over at her, that unsettling grin of his making her skin crawl.

"You usually don't need a reminder to keep my cup filled."

"O-Of course, Katsura-han. Please excuse my forgetfulness," she apologized and immediately poured a generous amount of sake. Thank goodness she didn't spill any with how frazzled her nerves were.

She must not have hid it well enough though, because Katsura's scrutiny didn't end there. His eyes raked her like he could read her mind.

"I'm sorry, Geisha-san. Does our talk of violence make you nervous?" he asked.

Chizuru heard something metallic, and realized Katsura had shifted away from her in order to slowly draw the katana from his scabbard. She couldn't help but run her gaze along the sheer length of it as apprehension began to prickle at her spine.

Akane quietly gasped behind her. Chizuru hoped she would slip out and find Kosuzu, or better yet, Kimigiku or Sen. She didn't know if she could diffuse this situation by herself.

Harashi and some of the others sneered at her obvious fear, but others like Murata, seemed dispassionate. Katsura's face neared hers, too much, and she leaned back.

He sneered. "Perhaps you sympathize with a den of rabid dogs, who mindlessly heed the whims of the Shogunate."

Chizuru's lips pursed. She held incredibly still as he brought the blade level to her neck, in the space between her shoulder and her ear. His dark eyes were baiting her, daring her to answer. But she would no longer be a coward, no matter what happened next.

"They…they are no more mindless than men like you can be called samurai," she said. "The Shinsengumi fight to protect the people who suffer during these turbulent times...Katsura-han, what do you fight for?"

She watched the shock flicker across his face, then hot anger. The hand on his sword tensed, but in the next moment she felt the blade whir past her face and cut the air in front of her—Katsura choked on his breath as he was yanked backwards.

Someone called out, plates shattered, men were shouting.

Chizuru was frozen. She could only follow with her eyes as a familiar sword slashed a bloody arc through each of its opponents. Murata's heavy body fell beside her and jolted her back into consciousness.

Blinking rapidly, she managed to notice Katsura's black and empty irises peering back at her a foot away, with his neck open and gaping red. Then her vision was filled with deep green.

Souji was standing in front of her, covered in blood that wasn't his own as his sword dripped with it. While staring into his eyes, she finally registered that he was calling her name.

"E-Eh?"

He sighed. Flicking the blood from his sword, he re-sheathed it smoothly before he went down on one knee and grabbed her hand.

"Come on," he prodded. When she still remained unresponsive, she began to see the cold detachment leaking away from his face.

"O-Okita-san?" Chizuru winced at the sound of her own voice, coarse and frail. She flinched as the back of his hand brushed her cheek. He pulled back just as sharply and hesitated, before looking away from her. He was frowning, angry. At her?

She touched her face and realized she had been crying. She still was, in fact. But she pushed that thought away in order to shakily get up onto her feet. "Okita-san!"

Souji turned to grab her as she lost her balance. She held onto him and turned her face up to his, pleading with words she couldn't say. Please don't go!

Whatever he read in her eyes, it must have been enough. At once he tucked her in his arms and held her tight against him. Her fingers wrapped into his kimono at his back as she clung to him with whatever strength she had. She felt his lips on the top of her head, and he sighed into her hair.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

Chizuru found it hard to pay attention with his heartbeat under her ear, but she shook her head. Souji's grip on her tightened.

"Why did you do that?" he demanded angrily. "Why would you—"

"Because!" Chizuru buried her face in his chest. Dimly she knew she was shaking like a leaf; regardless of the death that now surrounded her, Souji had saved her. Later she would probably be forced to contemplate how easy it was for him to slaughter an entire room of men, but for now, she could hardly stand the thought of letting him go now that he was here.

Eventually, she felt his body lose it's tension. One of his hands ran down her back soothingly.

"Okay. Come on then," Souji said.

He pulled away slowly and took her hand. He led her out of the disaster that was the guest room and into the hall, where Kimigiku was already standing outside the door, her expression unreadable.

"This way," she said, and turned on her heel.

Geisha and oiran alike peered out of rooms and whispered to one another when they went by. Souji ignored them, but Chizuru ducked her head with embarrassment as she followed him up the stairs.

Once they reached the mistress's quarters, Kimigiku bowed before Sen. Chizuru tried to as well, but Souji wouldn't let go of her hand.

She sent him a searching look. He only frowned and tightened his hold.

Sen coolly met his stare.

"I see you've come back to cause trouble for me," she snipped. He smirked back.

"I'm here for Chizuru-chan."

He said it so simply, but it still made Chizuru's heart pound. He couldn't mean…

"I see," Sen said flatly. "And what if I'm not ready to part with her?"

Souji's smirk turned a bit wolfish.

Chizuru murmured a worried, "Okita-san."

His eyes then slid over to hers.

Trust me, he seemed to say.

"Let's say I allow it," Sen began. That startled Chizuru, who looked up at Sen with wide-eyed hope.

Sen gave her a soft smile. "Chizuru is a treasured person here, my precious friend. How will you repay me?"

Souji hesitated for a moment, before he rolled his eyes. He took a hefty pouch from his belt and tossed it at Sen's feet. Chizuru gaped.

All that money, it had to have been years of his wages from the Shinsengumi.

"Will that cover it?" he drawled. Sen huffed, but didn't even reach down for it.

"I suppose it'll have to."

He'd waited somewhat patiently for her to change into a much simpler kimono and wash most of the makeup from her face. She gathered up her meager belongings while he looked around the room she shared with Kosuzu (she would have to say goodbye before she left!).

Chizuru glanced over at him and saw him holding a round decorative box.

"Oh, don't—!"

Souji was already grinning when he looked back up at her. Of course he'd opened it, and a few paper sakura blossoms fell to the floor. One for each time Kosuzu had left a sign for Souji that Chizuru had prepared their private room, so they could see one another.

She blushed fiercely and turned back to packing her clothes.

"P-Please don't lose any."

"Hmm~? You saved mementos of me, Chizuru?"

Soon enough she was following him out of the Sumi, for the first and the last time. He carried her small collection of things in a bag for her, and she walked a little ways behind him. Just as they were about to reach the boundary of the Shimabara district, it finally hit her that she was leaving. From all the death and blood she'd seen tonight, and would probably continue to haunt her dreams for nights to come, the single thought that rose above it all was that Souji had come claim her.

"Okita-san," she said, stopping in the road. He turned back to her.

"W-Why…" Chizuru felt the tears as they came, but only wiped at them half-heartedly.

"All that money…how could you—?"

Souji sighed and reached out to her. His fingers brushed through her hair, which was loose and free of any pins or complicated knots. He stared down at her with warmth and a knowing grin.

Souji leaned down and kissed her, first tenderly, then with a fierce urgency that made her almost feel dizzy. Eventually he pulled away enough to press a softer kiss to her forehead.

"You think I care about money?" he teased. She looked away from him, blushing. His fingers under her chin brought her back to his face, straight into his eyes that were serious again.

"You never know. I might've given her my sword, if she'd asked for it," he said, in a tone that was deceptively light.

Shock made Chizuru silent.

"Because of you, I was able to avenge Kondou-san," Souji said. His gaze drifted past her, over her head.

"So now I'm going to grant your wish…you don't have to come with me if you don't want to," he told her. "I don't have a home outside of the Shinsengumi. I…don't know if I'll have a future beyond this war. But you're free now."

For her, it wasn't even a question.

Chizuru held his hand in both of hers. When he looked down softly at her, she leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. It was chaste, but also full of promise.

"Please allow me to stay with you," she asked, smiling brightly. You are my home, Okita-san.

After a moment, he smiled back.

"Let's go home then."