5

Jax Is Really Alive

Chapter Recap 40

Jax and Tara make love and get closer. Hale calls them to say that Opie has been spotted sitting in a car outside his old house. The aliens are nervous that he'll go inside to see his kids and because they are alien, they will recognize him. Then, there will be an alien problem.

For security reasons until Opie's state of mind can be determined, he won't be allowed into Ryland's secure bunker where Tara is staying. She's Lorna's daughter and has to be protected. Hale tells Jax to bring Opie to his house.

Tara reveals that Opie has some feelings about Jax that are less brotherly love and more hate.

Chapter 41 With a Friend Like You . . .

Jax led them inside Hale's house to his tropical bar. He grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and handed one to Opie and took one for himself.

"What's it been like for you to be back?" Jax asked. "Tara mentioned that it was hard, but you and Donna have worked through your problems."

Opie was silent, but his silence spoke volumes. He was seething with rage and taking careful slow breaths to keep his temper under control.

"I should start at the beginning when I got my head caved in saving your ass and the others. I woke up and saw Donna. I thought I was in Heaven. Turned out it wasn't even close."

"I know the return to life can be hard," Jax said.

Opie drained his beer bottle, stood up and kicked his chair across the room.

"I know the return to life can be hard," Opie mimicked Jax. "What the hell do you know? I'm alive again and Donna's alive. Lyla and I are split. Should be easy. Donna is furious with me not because I married Lyla thirty seconds after she died. She was furious because instead of being a father to our kids—something I've never really done—I'd gone out and gotten the kids a stepmom so I didn't have to be a father. I could leave the parenting to Lyla."

"That wasn't fair."

"Yes, it was fucking fair. Donna was right. I married Lyla because it was the easy way out. She could handle things and I could keep my lifestyle all about the MC. Even when I discovered that Clay ordered Tig to kill me, fucked it up and killed Donna by mistake all I did was beat Tig up. I could have told the whole club, but I was the good little soldier and said nothing. You suspected the truth and never told me."

Jax remained sitting as Opie stalked angrily around the room. He thought by staying seated it would de-escalate the situation.

"You got closer to the club. I thought that's what you needed and the truth would tear you apart."

"You bastard. You really think I'm going to believe you were doing what was best for me? You were doing what you always did-put the MC above everything from your wife to your kids to your former best friend."

Opie hurled his now empty beer bottle against the wall. It shattered sending amber glass flying.

"I don't deny I made a lot of mistakes."

"You did more than make mistakes. Do you remember when you had just got out and we were talking in the pick up? You told me so piously that you thought a lot about how you were going to provide for your boys and Tara. Your wife was making a hell of a lot of money. She didn't need your financial support."

"I don't live off my wife."

"Yeah," Opie said with a sneer, "you're too noble. Do you remember what I told you about Lyla?"

"Opie, just make your point."

"I told you that Lyla was no Donna. I told you Lyla couldn't manage to take care of three children. You told me this arms deal/drug muling shit was smart, under the radar. Clay was getting the club whole."

"I believed that at the time. Of course now, I can see I was wrong."

"Fucking liar!" Opie shouted. "You manipulated me into voting the drugs in because you had a plan to leave Charming with Tara and your boys. You knew if you told me that truth, I wouldn't have voted with you."

Jax stared into his beer bottle. He couldn't face his friend or the man who used to be his friend. Opie was right. He had withheld that piece of information because he needed to secure Opie's vote.

Jax stood up.

"Hit me. You can't make me feel any worse."

Opie looked at Jax with disgust.

"Even fucking now it's all about you. When I got killed to save you, what did you do? How much money did you give Lyla to help with the kids? How many times did you visit them? After you had me laid out in all my MC glory and nobly led my casket to the hearse, what the hell else did you do for my family?"

"I told Lyla to ask anyone in the MC or friends of the MC if she needed anything and if they said no, they would answer to me," Jax said.

Opie was right. He hadn't done a damned thing to help Opie's family after his death. Telling Lyla to ask for help was a way to get out of giving her any real help. He shifted the responsibility for her and Opie's kids. They had been his responsibility. Opie died for him and he had done nothing for Opie's family.

Jax sat down suddenly stunned by this revelation. He had been so focused on his MC pretend brothers, he had let down his best friend and his best friend's kids.

He'd stayed focused on getting SAMCRO out of the mess they were in with Damon Pope and forgot about the two kids that lost both their parents to MC related violence. His MC.

He remembered back to the night when Opie was in his casket in the clubhouse. Lyla had come to him, falling apart and he'd given her the noble talk about family, he opened the blinds to show her all the people that had turned up to see dead Opie and told her they were all family and would help her or they would have to answer to him. Such swagger and such a load of bull shit.

Jax shut his eyes. Opie was right. He didn't do enough for Opie's kids and Lyla. Hell, he hadn't done anything for them. He could have spent some time with his kids and given Lyla money to help her. He had done nothing.

The worst part of all this was he hadn't even thought anymore about Opie's kids after that night at the clubhouse. Never even checked in with Lyla about how she was doing. It wasn't until Lyla got roughed up during a porn shoot in the warehouse district that he'd even give Lyla another thought and Ima told the MC about what happened to Lyla. Not Lyla.

Jax didn't know how he was going to right this wrong, but he owed Opie and his kids. He had to make amends to them and make things as right as he could.

"Ope, what do you want from me? How can I begin to fix this?"

"I'm going to kill Tig," Opie said.

That caught Jax completely by surprise.

Author's Note: I've discovered as I rewatch some episodes of SOA, I see the show differently. The scenes referenced in this are from S5 Stolen Huffy. I don't see Jax as this noble guy leading his club. I see him as a selfish man who failed to honor his best friend's sacrifice.

He tells the table that he thought Opie was looking for a way out since Donna's death and seems to shrug it off after that.

This story is about discovering the truth, facing up to past mistakes and moving forward—the whole returning to life theme that you can use all that you have learned and come back and make a better you and a better future.

Tara called him out on their relationship. Now, it's Opie's turn. In the series' end, Jax saw himself as a criminal, but he never atoned for his failures with Opie or even acknowledged them.

Next Up Gut Punched by Reality

It gets worse for Jax as Opie talks about SAMCRO and Opie's vision of what it is now and what needs to happen.