A/N: I do not own the Twilight franchise or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. Thank you for reading!
Chapter 2: Feel
Panic ripped through Bella's rigid body. She withdrew herself from Jacob's embrace in a flash. Did the person see them? And more importantly who was it? Bella's anxiety sent her flying up the stairs, leaving Jacob frozen on the counter.
He hadn't felt like this with her in years. All she did was clean up your wound, Jake. Get your shit together, he thought to himself. Jacob knew he still had feelings for his married best friend but any chance of them being together went right out the window four years ago. That's not to say he wouldn't jump at the opportunity if it ever presented itself. Bella's hold on him was something otherworldly. And he hated that.
He couldn't stand how her mere presence improves his day—how he still loved to be around her. He couldn't stand that he still adored how she laughed, especially at her own bad jokes. He hated that there were days he'd long to have the life that the incompetent bloodsucker has with Bella for himself. He could have given her a child—more if she wanted. He would have built her a home from the ground if that was her desire. He hated that there were times when Bella would simply look at him and his heart would stop beating. He couldn't stand the way her touch made him shiver, and not just because of her cold body temperature. He hated the way she left him sitting there wishing she'd come back in his arms again just then.
And he hated that after all this time he still wanted her to be his. He hated this most of all.
Bella crept down the hall to her bedroom first. Lightly pressing on the door, she peeked her head inside. No sign of anyone so far. She went through the master suite to check the bathroom.
She breathed a sigh of relief. Edward hadn't come in yet. But if it wasn't Edward then it must have been—she heard faint sobbing coming from the opposite end of the hall.
"Shit." Bella was immediately filled with guilt. Her daughter, his imprint; she saw their intimate encounter. She took a deep breath. How was she going to explain this? She meagerly tapped on Renesmee's door, bracing herself for the awkward upcoming conversation. She didn't answer, just kept wailing. Bella just stared at her daughter. That's all she could manage to do.
A few moments passed before she found the will to speak. "Ness, I—" Renesmee sat up instantly to face her mother.
"Get out." Her golden eyes screamed fury, causing Bella's figure to go colder than it already is.
"Nessie, please just hear me out." Bella raised her hands. She struggled to find the right words.
"How could you, mom? Did you forget what Jacob is to me? He's my imprint and you know what that means." Renesmee sobbed. "I know you two have a past."
"Oh, sweetheart. Of course I haven't forgotten about the imprint. I know we shouldn't have been that close like that." Still standing in the doorway, Bella ran her fingers through her hair. She should have known better. Being in that sort of physical position with Jake was every kind of wrong. But the way he held her...like he needed her the same way he needed to breathe. Bella found her mouth slightly curling upwards on each corner.
"Do you think this is a joke? Are you even listening to me?!" Renesmee looked at her mother incredulously. Bella cursed herself for getting distracted so easily with thoughts of him. She couldn't believe the influence he had on her just from those few seconds. Why was it so hard for her to shake her head free of him for even just a couple stupid minutes?
Bella slammed one of her hands on her forehead, "No, I'm sorry. So so sorry." She really needed to get a grip. She walked over to sit on the edge of her bed. "Renesmee, listen. Yes, Jake and I kind of had a past but we never officially became a thing. My choice was always your father, and Jake knows that. It's just that when Jake and I were a little younger, we could feel each other's pain. We're not quite sure why but it's something that we've always had. What you saw was us just trying to let the other person know that we're there for them." She reached out to stroke her daughter's silky crimson curls. "Nothing's changed. I promise." she gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She could tell Renesmee was searching her eyes to find any piece of fabrication.
"Couldn't you guys just have said that to each other without...touching each other like that?" She was referring to their sensual embrace. Bella seemed to have forgotten not about the imprint but that her daughter was growing up. She was almost eighteen which meant she was almost at the stage of her life where she would be making her own decisions. She might even begin to develop strong feelings for Jacob, if she hasn't already. Bella pleaded to herself that her inadequate decision-making skills wouldn't get passed down to her daughter. She hoped Renesmee would take her time to really think things through no matter how big or small the situation was.
Bella took a deep breath. "I suppose that would have been the more appropriate route." She wasn't even going to bother to tell her how her and Jacob also had a rather touchy-feely friendship in the past. She decided to spare telling her how she and Jacob would sometimes get mistaken as a couple when they took walks holding each other's hand or when Jake would throw his lean arm around Bella's shoulders. "I'll try to remember that, sweetheart. I'm sorry." she gave her daughter a heartening smile and rose from her bed. Walking towards the door, she turned to Renesmee once more. "Are we good?" she asked.
"Yeah, Mom. We're good." she returned her mother's smile. "I love you." she added.
"Love you too, Ness." And with that, she was out the door. Bella still didn't feel quite right. She didn't feel liberated. The truth was that being that way with Jake in the kitchen felt more intense than any time they've ever touched. But why? What made this moment any different? And why did she long to feel that way again? And again? She had to stop feeling like this and thinking such profane thoughts.
She tried to regain her composure before going back to the kitchen. Walking down the stairs Bella was surprised to find Jacob on the couch in the family room. She nearly shrieked at the sight of him.
"Jeez, Bells I didn't think I looked that bad today." he quipped. He flashed her one of his infamous smiles and Bella nearly lost her footing but caught herself before she had another embarrassing moment today.
"Come on, Bella! Get your shit together." she whispered to herself.
"What was that?" Jacob pressed. Truth was, he heard her. Loud and clear. Looked like their moment in the kitchen had an effect on her too. But why? He'd picked up that she wasn't happy but is she not happy about…? Her frantic voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Nothing. How's your leg?" She made an attempt to change the subject. Bella cursed herself again for not knowing when to keep her thoughts in her head at the right moments.
"It's getting there. Are you okay?" Something was definitely up. She may be a vamp now but she's acting like her human self more than ever since the change.
"What? Who, me? Sure, sure. I am great." she threw two thumbs up as a finishing move to convince her best friend that she wasn't anything otherwise. Bella was acting off the walls and she knew it. And she knew Jacob knew it. He always read her so easily.
"You wanna talk about it, honey?" Jesus. He had to stop calling her that. "Come here." He patted the space next to him on the couch. She stood there staring at the area he was gesturing towards, biting her lip. If you avoid him now, he'll just keep prying, she pondered. With a heavy sigh, she gave in and joined him on the sofa, careful to keep an appropriate distance.
She stared at her hands in her lap. "Jake, look. I—" he cut her off.
"You're not happy." she turned to him with wide eyes. She hated that she could never fool the man. That wasn't what she was going to say, but it was true so what did it matter anyway? "Why aren't you happy?" he added bluntly.
"Jake, honestly I'm not even sure. But that's not of any importance right now. Nessie saw us. That was her running up the stairs." She fiddled with her fingers. "We have to remember to keep our distance." she mumbled.
"You felt it too, huh?" he asked in a hush tone.
"Excuse me?" He acted like he hadn't heard a word she just said. Bella was stumped.
He turned to look her in her blood-red eyes. "When I touched you, did you feel something?" He couldn't be serious. She did not want to have this talk. Not now or ever. It wasn't safe.
She found herself lost for words, contemplating whether she should lie or just say nothing. Bella went with the latter. Her cheeks turned red. If she didn't know any better, she would think that her cheeks actually felt warm also. She didn't like where he was going with this. She rose from the couch and made a stride towards the door.
Jacob followed behind. His leg must have been healing faster than she thought, judging by his speed as he caught up to her. "Where are you going?" he called.
She whipped her head around. "I am not doing this! Did you not hear me say Renesmee, your imprint, saw us?" she charged. She quickly glanced towards the stairs to make sure her daughter hadn't left her room.
"Is there a point to you telling me this?" he replied. Yes, Renesmee was his imprint but she wasn't his soulmate. It was Bella. It always was.
Jacob was giving her that look again; the "I'm in love with you" look. Bella shook her head in silence. She couldn't believe it.
After all this time? Still? Even after the imprint. All she could do is stop and stare, tears trickling once again.
She didn't understand.
"Renesmee will always be my imprint. She's bound to my soul, I will do anything for her. But I won't give her my heart. I can't." he paused. He brought his hands to Bella's cheeks and looked her dead in the eyes. "My heart belongs to you, Bells."
She still didn't understand. Her voice was uneasy, "Wh—what about Renesmee? She was crying when I went to talk to her." Bella wiped one of her own tears and removed his hands from her face.
"I don't think of Renesmee in that way, honey. What, did you honestly expect me to wait for her to get older and become intimate with her and give her a family? I could never do that! Not with my best friend's daughter." he uttered. Bella saw the resolution in his chestnut eyes. He was serious. But there had to be someone else he could make happy.
Bella couldn't take this. She went to yank the front door open but Jacob grabbed her arm and tugged her towards his now steaming form. She made an attempt to pull away but to no avail. Jacob had her pressed between the door and his towering body and his hands above her head. She was immovable. "You never answered my question." he snarled. Their foreheads now touching.
"Jacob, please." she pleaded. "Renesmee could hear u—" Jacob lowered his head so his lips were by her left ear.
"Let her." he whispered. "Now answer me, did you feel anything earlier? Yes or no."
What was even the point in trying anymore? Bella's body quivered when she finally answered, "Yes." Her answer came out more like a moan. "Are you happy now?" she gritted her teeth.
"Oh, honey. I won't be happy until you're officially mine." He lowered his voice again. He left her absolutely no room to move. Right now he was holding her captive in her own home. Her chest was tight against his "But, knowing that I have…" he methodically slid one hand down to massage his sole lover's soft locks, he watched as Bella's eyes closed in bliss. He chuckled lowly at her reaction. "…such an effect on you leaves me feeling…" He bent down to touch his lips ever-so-lightly to her neck, causing Bella to whimper, "Pretty fucking good."
The sound of a roaring engine on the other side of the door saved Bella from coming undone.
"Loverboy's home." Jacob mocked. He finally backed away and returned to the sofa, like nothing happened.
Left with flustered cheeks and weak knees, Bella defeatedly whispered "Shit."
A/N: Thanks for reading!