A/N I know it's taken a while, but I've finally gotten inside of Phoebe's head to see what her take is on Arnold leaving for San Lorenzo. I'm not sure if I'm going to end this here, or continue it on. I guess it will all depend on if and when inspiration will strike. For those of you just finding me on this wonderful site and like this story, I'd like to invite you to read my main story, A Slice of Life, I think you might like it. As for the rest of you, welcome back and I hope you enjoy. Oh, and please, let me know if I captured Phoebe's personality successfully.

Back To His Future

Chapter 4

Phoebe

Phoebe looks at the small wooden figure in her hand. She runs her fingers down the intricate carvings, amazed by how much talent Arnold had gained in the few short years spent living among the Green-eyed People. She places the delicate figurine back with the others and turns to look at her friend. She knows her friend, and she knows when something heavy is on her mind. So with a quiet sigh, she walks over to the bed where Helga lay, and takes a seat.

She looks at the girl for a moment, giving her a chance to say what's really on her mind. When she gets no reply, she once again takes it upon herself to drag it out of her. "What's wrong, Helga?"

Her friend catches the ball she had been messing with and looks her in the eye. "What makes you think something's wrong?"

It's been three years since Arnold left, and Phoebe is beginning to grow tired of this game that Helga insists on playing. She's been finding it harder and harder to not let her frustrations show, and she has to take a deep breath in order to keep her words on an even keel. "Well, it's just – "

She's cut off mid-sentence, which only serves to add to her frustration. Once Helga has finished snapping at her, she tries once again to get her to say what's on her mind. "Well, Arnold will finally be back in Hillwood after three full years in the jungle. I kind of thought you'd be at least a little more excited. Aren't you anxious to see him?"

She flinches a bit when Helga quickly sits up. The girl jumps off the bed and Phoebe watches as she rants on while pacing the floor before returning and sitting next to her friend. With a sigh, Helga finally comes to the heart of the matter. "The problem is, Phoebe, that I'm scared."

"Ahh, there it is." Phoebe thinks to herself, happy to finally be getting to the root of Helga's sullen behavior.

"Helga begins to go into her fears of not being enough for Arnold anymore, and Phoebe can't help but to let her mind wander to the night she found out about Arnold's plans to join his parents in San Lorenzo.

xxxxx

It had actually started with Arnold. A change had come over him that Phoebe was quick to pick up on. He was more quiet than usual, and often times she would catch him staring off into space with a serious expression painting his face. Something about his demeanor told her that these episodes were more than just his normal, head in the clouds, moments, and after a while it began to worry her.

She had asked Helga one night if she had noticed anything different about Arnold, to which her friend replied with a quick no. She wasn't sure if Helga was telling her the truth or not, but she did get the impression that the girl definitely did not want to talk about it, so she quickly let the matter drop.

It wasn't until the day that she had gotten a rather impromptu visit from Helga, that it all became clear to her. She was upstairs in her bedroom, studying for finals, when there came a rapid knocking on her door. Knowing that Helga was spending the afternoon with Arnold, and Gerald was at a car show with Jamie-O, she let out a timid "come in", while wondering just who it could be.

It caught her by surprise to see her best friend slowly walk through the door, and it wasn't until she saw the look of devastation on Helga's face that she finally became worried.

Jumping up from her chair, she rushed over to her friend, ushering her over to her bed so she could sit down. Helga had done a good job of holding in her tears up until now, but the minute she entered the sanctuary of Phoebe's room she had finally allowed herself to let down her guard and let the water works begin.

Phoebe gives her a little time to get the worst of it out before trying to get to the root of the matter. Instinct told her that this had something to do with Arnold, and the way he had been so out of it lately.

Handing her friend a box of Kleenex, she gently started probing. "Helga, can you tell me what's going on? What could have happened to get you so upset?"

Helga grabs a tissue and gives her nose a good blow. The look she gives Phoebe is enough to break the girl's heart, causing Phoebe to take in a slight breath. Her voice cracks when she begins to speak. "He – he's leaving me, Phoebe."

Phoebe's eyes open wide. She knew something was up with Arnold, but she'd never imagined that he was contemplating breaking up with Helga. "What? You mean he's breaking up with you?"

Helga shakes her head. "No, we're not breaking up, he's just – leaving."

"I don't understand. Leaving for where?"

Helga speaks through shuddering breaths. "Suh – suh – San Lorenzo. He's moving to San Lorenzo with his parents."

"What? When did he decide to do this? And why didn't he tell anyone? Does Gerald know?"

Again Helga shakes her head. "No, Gerald doesn't know yet. He said he wanted me to be the first to know so that I wouldn't have to hear it through the grapevine."

Relieved that Arnold had the sense enough to take Helga's feelings into consideration, she resumes with her questions. "What made him decide to go to San Lorenzo?"

Helga gets up and starts to pace. "He said that his parents were asked to partake in a five year mission and he just couldn't bring himself to be separated from them again, not after what happened last time."

Phoebe slowly nods her head in understanding. "Yes, I can see that. But is he going for the whole five years, or just the summer?"

The emotions are too much for Helga to handle, and she answers her friend through a snap. "Do you think I'd be this upset if it were only for the summer, Phoebe?" She realizes that she is out of line, and her voice softens as she continues. "I'm sorry, Pheebs. I didn't mean to snap. So far it looks like he'll be gone the whole five years."

"What did you say to him when he told you?"

Helga shrugs her shoulders. "What could I say? I had thought about trying to convince him to stay, but that wouldn't have been right. I didn't want him missing out on an experience like this and then blaming it on me later on down the road. So I did the only thing I could think of, I told him to go."

Phoebe realizes the significance of Helga putting Arnold before her own feelings. It shows the growth that she has made over the years, and it makes Phoebe even more proud to call Helga her friend. "Well, Helga, I think that was a very admirable thing for you to do. I don't think fourth grade Helga would have been that selfless."

A slight blush forms on Helga's cheeks. "Yeah, well, what else could I do? I couldn't have the old Football Head hating me for the rest of his life, could I?"

Phoebe gives her friend a smile. "No, we definitely couldn't let that happen. So where does that leave you two now?"

"I don't know." Helga says with a shake of her head. "I guess I just play the part of supportive girlfriend and let him go get this out of his system. I just hope he doesn't decide he likes life in the jungle and ends up staying."

"Well what would you do if he did? Can you see yourself living that sort of life?"

Helga lets out with a loud snort. "Oh, brother, could you just see me, of all people, living as one with nature? Walking around wearing grass skirts and pooping behind trees? Yeah, no thanks, I couldn't even stand that weekend we spent in that RV my dad took us out in back in the fourth grade. No, I'm too much of a city girl." She sits back down on the bed, suddenly becoming very serious again. "And that's what worries me, Phoebe. What if he does decide to stay? What will happen to us?"

Phoebe looks deep into her friend's eyes, the sorrow that lies within them is real and she wishes she knew what to say. The best she can do is offer Helga her support. She places a hand on her friend's shoulder before pulling her into a hug. "I don't know, Helga, but whatever happens, I'll be here for you."

xxxxx

The sound of Helga's voice pulls her back to present time. "Well?"

She shakes her head to clear her thoughts and looks at her friend. "I'm sorry, Helga, what was it you said?"

Helga rolls her eyes. "Oh brother. I was asking you, what if Arnold's wrong. What if he has changed and suddenly I'm not enough for him?"

Phoebe looks at her friend and smiles at the question. "Of course he's changed, Helga. We've all changed over the past three years. You more so than any one of us put together. But just because the two of you are different than you were before he left, doesn't mean his love for you has changed. Tell me something, have your feelings for him changed?"

Helga's eyes grow wide and she is adamant when she speaks. "No! I still love him just as much as before he left. Probably more so."

Phoebe gives her friend a smile. "Well, then what makes you think his love for you has changed?"

"Well, I …."

"If you want to know what I think, well, I think it's just your old insecurities rearing their nasty heads up, causing you to doubt yourself and Arnold. I'm certain that you're going to find that Arnold is still madly in love with you."

"And if you're wrong?"

"Well, if I'm wrong – and I don't think I am – then you and I will cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now all you have to do is have some faith, in yourself and Arnold. Can you do that?"

A smile spreads across Helga's face as she throws her arms around her best friend. "Yeah, Pheebs, with you by my side, I know I can do that."

xxxxx

She had spent longer at Helga's house than anticipated, and was eager to get back home. She thinks about the relationship between Arnold and Helga while she slowly walks the few blocks between Helga's house and hers. She runs the conversation that they'd just had through her head, and has to admit that having to keep up such a positive attitude is beginning to wear on her patience. It's been becoming harder and harder to be the pillar of support that Helga thinks she needs.

She could never quite figure out this hold that Arnold has on her friend, and, whatever the attraction may be, it has been going on since practically forever. Sure, he's a nice guy, smart, and cute and even a little funny, but hardly the Adonis that Helga's always makes him out to be.

Knowing Helga's family life, she guesses she can see how her friend could take the little bit of kindness Arnold showed her back when they first met, and build it into something more than it was. After all, besides herself, Arnold was the only one to really befriend her at the time, or, at least try to. She also thinks that if her parents had been a little more open with their feelings towards her that perhaps Helga wouldn't have fallen quite so deeply.

She does remember the relief she felt when Arnold finally did own up to his own feelings towards Helga. And she is supportive of their relationship, regardless of how tumultuous it may be. But she is also the first to admit that this little break between the two has actually been a good thing where Helga is concerned. Not only in a personal way, but with the others in the group too.

She reaches the last leg of her walk and can see her house off in the distance. She sees a figure sitting on the steps that lead up to the front door, and furrows her brow when she sees that it's Gerald. She had expected that his outing with Jamie-O would have taken all day, and is surprised to find him waiting on her doorstep. As she approaches she can see that he is in deep thought, and can guess just what it is that he is thinking about.

She had been planning on spending the rest of the day alone with her own thoughts, and is slightly put out by the unexpected intrusion. He hasn't seen her yet, and she considers turning around and making a quick escape. But being the type of person she is, she just can't bring herself to do that, and once again puts on a happy face and greets her boyfriend.

"Why, Gerald, what a surprise. I thought you'd be spending the whole day with your brother."

Gerald turns at the sound of her voice and immediately gets up. He greets his girlfriend with a kiss and a hug then smiles down at her. "Yeah, well, I started to get kind of bored at the car show so I talked Jamie-O into leaving early and bringing me here. I knocked on your door, and when no one answered I figured I'd just wait out here for you."

"Heh, lucky me." Phoebe thinks on the inside while outside she puts on a happy façade. "Well I'm glad that you did." She walks past him and opens the door. "Come on inside and I'll get us something to drink."

xxxxx

With Yahoo sodas in hand, she joins him in the family room where he has taken up a spot in the middle of the couch. She hands him a soda and takes a seat next to him. "So, did you have a good time with Jamie?"

Gerald shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah, I guess." He takes a swig of his soda before resuming. "Jamie and I don't hang out as much since he moved out of the house, so it's nice to see him every now and then. Anyway, I was surprised to find that you were gone when I got here. I thought you were spending the day at home."

"Well, I was, but then I got a call from Helga, asking me to come over."

"Oh, I see. So what did she want?"

Phoebe raises an eyebrow at him. "Really? You have to ask?"

Gerald lets out a little chuckle. "Heh, I know, right? What else has been on her mind for the last three years?"

"Exactly. Although, she did tell me something that I find very interesting. Why don't you want to go to the airport with her and the Shortman's when they go to pick up Arnold?"

Gerald looks at her, feeling a bit betrayed by Helga. "So she told you, huh?"

"Yes, she did. And she also told me her version of why you don't want to go, but what I don't get is why you felt you couldn't tell me."

Hard as Phoebe may try, she just can't help but to feel a little jealous over how close Helga and Gerald have become over the past three years. Logically she knows why it happened, it was just two people with a common feeling turning to each other for support. But, as virtuous as she may be, she is still human, and susceptible to the Green-eyed Monster that lives within all of us. The thing that hits her the hardest is their little Friday afternoon meet-ups at City Park. On the one hand, it kills her not to know what they talk about at these meet-ups, while on the other side she knows that it's just their way of coping with the loss of someone very close to them.

That doesn't excuse the fact, though, that not once in all of this has either one ever thought to ask her about HER feelings over Arnold leaving, and how it's affected HER.

Regardless of how Gerald feels about Arnold finally returning back to Hillwood, she, herself, can't wait for that day to come. It is her hope that once he is back home, things can finally go back to the way they were, and she will no longer have to be strong enough for the three of them.

Gerald doesn't have an answer for her, and just quietly finishes his soda. She can see how his own jealousy is making him feel like a horrible friend, and decides to once again bury her feelings in an effort to comfort him. Reaching out, she places her fingers under his chin, turning him to face her. She smiles sweetly at him and is relieved when he smiles back. Leaning in, she tenderly presses her lips to his, putting an end to the discussion.

xxxxx

She stands on the rooftop of the boarding house, red Solo cup in hand, and listens attentively to Arnold as he regales the crowd with another intriguing story from the jungle. She's always had a fascination with botany and its role in holistic medicine.

She looks at the smile that sits on Helga's face and doesn't know when she's seen her friend happier. She has to admit that she and Arnold really do make a cute couple, especially with the way Helga blushes every time Arnold looks at her. Their love is evident, and it reassures her that the two will be together until the end.

The thought of undying love brings her mind around to her own relationship, and she takes her eyes off of her friends and gives the crowd another scan. She can't figure out what could be keeping Gerald, and she really hopes that he hasn't changed his mind about coming to Arnold's welcome home party.

The waiting is making her anxious, and although she finds Arnold's stories engaging, she steps away to mingle with the other guests. She joins a small group over by the buffet table, and pretends to be interested in just how many mini tacos Harold can fit in his mouth at one time when she feels a hand gently tap her shoulder.

Her face lights up when she turns to see that it is Gerald that the hand belongs to. He bends down to place a soft kiss to her cheek and she looks up at him with smiling eyes. "Gerald, I'm so glad you're finally here."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." He says while giving her a wink. "So, where's the man of the hour?"

She nods her head towards where Arnold is standing with his arm wrapped tightly around Helga's waist. She doesn't know what it was that made Arnold turn to look in their direction, but she could feel Gerald momentarily tense up as soon as their eyes meet. She stands quietly while Arnold makes his way over to Gerald, the Shortman grin never leaving his face.

She takes a step back in an effort to give the two men their space. Arnold holds his fist out in the time honored greeting that the two have shared between them since the beginning of time and a chill runs down Phoebe's spine when Gerald is slow to return it. She brings up her hands and clasps them in front of her chest while whispering under her breath. "Come on, Gerald. Don't be stupid, return the damn fist bump", and she lets out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding as she witnesses the two fists finally meet.

A few moments later they are joined by Helga, who gives Gerald a warm welcome, catching Arnold momentarily off guard. "What's this?" He jovially says, "My best friend and my girlfriend finally getting along? I guess I should go away more often."

All eyes fall on Phoebe when she lets out with an inadvertent "NO!" She catches herself and gives a shy smile. "What I mean is, now that you're back, there's no way any of us are letting you go again."

Arnold puffs out his chest and proclaims jokingly, "Wow, I didn't know my presence was so important to you all."

Helga and Gerald reply with a roll of their eyes, while Phoebe thinks to herself, "Oh, Arnold, you have no idea!"