Chapter 2 – Where Are You?

It had been ten months since Sakura had slept with Naruto.

He still couldn't let it go.

Part of him was still screaming that he should feel betrayed, that he had every right to be angry with Sakura. But why? Why did he feel betrayed if there were no romantic feelings between them? He–

Stupid.

He was stupid and a liar.

No romantic feelings? Bullshit. Every fibre of Sakura's body called to him and if it was not her words forcing him to listen to her love declarations, or to her silent exclamations of her love for him, then her body was literally yelling it at him. No matter what Sakura wore, his mind would always come up with some way of making it seem more sexual than it actually was and if it couldn't, then it would force Sasuke to watch himself removing those clothes.

Those thoughts were always torturous.

After finding out about them sleeping together and confronting Sakura about it, it was like something had changed in her and he couldn't explain what it was. Well, he could, but at the same time, he couldn't.

It had been small, unimportant things at first. For example, her being more irritable than usual. Yes, Sakura had always had an easily angered, violent side to her, though not to this extent. She snapped at teachers whereas before, Sakura had always been respectful to their faces, understanding clearly that they were her superiors, therefore she had to show them respect.

Sakura was in pain. He could see it, Naruto could see it – the best the blond could offer her was space and even then, that didn't seem to help. Leaving her to her thoughts only seemed to make it worse, too, for Sasuke had noticed that it made her even angrier. With who, exactly, he couldn't be too sure, but something was nagging at him that it was herself. Sakura was angry with herself.

Today, however, Sakura's impending breakdown was the least of his concerns.

It was the first of December.

In other words, it was the anniversary of the day his parents had died.

Itachi always allowed him the day off on this day, saying that his brother should take a rest. Sasuke would never tell him, but he was so very grateful for the break. Even though it had now been three years today, he still wasn't too sure on how to act or what to do with himself. It made him feel pathetic and like a child when he cried, like he was emotionally weak, but if he didn't, Sasuke felt like… like it seemed as though he didn't care.

He'd seen Itachi crying. Not recently. Years ago, just after their deaths.

It had been late one night and he hadn't known that Sasuke was awake, hadn't known that he could hear him trying desperately to stay composed. It had been heartbreaking to hear. And when Sasuke had poked his head around the corner, despite instincts telling him to leave Itachi to grieve in peace, that pain only increased.

His older brother had been on his knees in front of the fireplace, clutching one of the picture frames tightly in his hands, his tears falling, though thankfully not disturbing the picture due to the glass protecting it.

It hadn't taken the older Uchiha long to realise somebody was there, but instead of reacting the way Sasuke had thought he would (wiping away his tears and returning to his blank, usual self), Itachi had instead gestured for him to come closer, not even attempting to hide his tears. That had been when it truly hit him that their parents were not coming back and Sasuke would be lying if he said that it didn't make him cry like a lost little boy.

He dropped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom. There were always mixed feelings for him on this day. Part of him wanted to curl up into a ball and never move again, another wanted him to do everything and anything to take his mind off of the agonising pain in his chest, whilst a different part of him, one that felt extremely dark and scary, wanted to destroy everything in his path. Sasuke wanted to find the person who had crashed into his parents' car and rip them to pieces. He wanted to take away that person's family and see how the fuck they liked it!

Beneath his head, his clenched fists trembled and his left eye began twitching. Deep breathing.

Lately, his anger was always getting to him, getting the best of him. So much so that people had actually started avoiding him. Whatever. Like it mattered to Sasuke whether they stuck around or not. Most of them were imbeciles that he couldn't give two shits about.

A knock on his door momentarily took Sasuke's mind away from his building anger.

"Come in."

Itachi did so silently, glancing down at his younger brother with a more open expression. That wasn't unusual. He always did it around this time of year, or their parents' birthdays, to make Sasuke feel like he could open up to him. When Itachi wasn't wearing his perfect pokerface, it made him seem less intimidating, made him appear more understanding. It would be a pathetic denial if Sasuke said it hadn't worked, because it had, several times. Itachi knew him too well for it not to work.

"I have to go to the office for a few hours." Itachi stated, sounding vaguely reluctant. "If you wish, you can join me."

Join him on a trip to the company's headquarters?

"I'll be fine here."

Previously, growing up, Sasuke had been so thrilled when his father invited him to headquarters and that happiness only grew when he heard the man boasting about him to his employees. Never to Sasuke's face, of course, as Fugaku had never wanted him to grow arrogant and bigheaded, but he'd always catch the conversation by eavesdropping.

Since their deaths, however, headquarters just didn't hold that same thrilling accomplishment like it once had. How Itachi could face it almost every single day was beyond him, as Sasuke could barely even go by it without feeling his heart turn into ice and his stomach drop.

There was a short pause, one where Itachi regarded him silently, before he nodded once and sighed. "I will be back shortly. My phone will be left on, so ring me if there is a problem."

He nodded once, grateful for when his brother finally left.

Christmas was just a few short weeks away. The first Christmas, just weeks after their deaths, had been unbearable. They hadn't celebrated it at all, hadn't even bothered to put up any decorations. There were presents, but neither opened them on Christmas Day. It had been too hard. And that pain only grew when they had to go through their parents' belongings and finally, after years of trying to find it, the brothers found where Mikoto hid their presents.

Sasuke still had the wrapping paper and tag in his drawer. Despite it being trash, he couldn't part with them. The gift was also in there, too. A warm, woolly scarf that she had created herself in his favourite colour. Navy blue. Itachi had a crimson one that he often wore. Sasuke chose to wear it in winter, also.

And thanks to Sakura's mother, Mebuki, the brothers had learned how to keep them soft, how to keep them from eventually falling apart. He'd been reluctant to washing it at first, wanting to keep the scent of his mother's perfume on it, but when it started smelling more like himself than her, he finally agreed. Itachi had waited for that moment and washed their scarves together with the detergent their mother had always used.

Rubbing a hand up and down his face when his phone went off, he released a long breath and reached out for it with the other hand, not surprised in the least that it was Sakura.

'Picked all your assignments up for you like you asked! Unless I see you today, I'll give them to you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything x'

What he needed was to be left alone, but at the same time, that sounded so daunting. Did he truly want to be alone? Sasuke wasn't too sure. Part of him was screaming for it, for everybody to just fuck off and leave him be. The other half of him wanted to keep them all close to him, to keep them by his side because if he lost them too, where would he be?

Sitting up, Sasuke glanced over at his window, straightening up so that he could see Itachi's car leaving the driveway and turning right, confirming that he had in fact gone to the company's headquarters. The moment his brother's car was gone, he hopped out of bed and looked to the other side of their home, to where their garage was located.

Currently, there were three cars in there (two, now that Itachi had just left). One was obviously Itachi's. The second had been his mother's. They just couldn't bring themselves to get rid of it, or to drive it themselves (even though Sasuke couldn't at the moment, because he wasn't old enough to drive). It was simply left there under a protective cover.

Their father's had been destroyed in the crash and even if it hadn't been completely destroyed, Sasuke would have been absolutely livid if it had been brought back to them. There was no way the car his parents had died in, was going to be staying in their garage, where they would have to look at it every day. Itachi felt the same way.

The last car… It was his, for when he passed his test. Itachi had been giving him a few lessons, taking him up to an old dirt road where it was safe for him to practise. That way he would be ready for his test. Why not simply drive Itachi's car? The car that was in the garage had been a gift idea from their parents, one they had been talking to Itachi about.

Knowing how Sasuke felt about it, however, Itachi hadn't kept it from him and instead told him about the car idea. He'd agreed to it without hesitation and was genuinely happy that his parents had known him so well as to know what type of car he'd want.

Without Itachi being with him, though, Sasuke was not allowed to drive that car.

But…

Sasuke shoved on his shoes and jogged out of his room and downstairs, pausing for just a moment to grab the keys that were resting in the bowl a few feet away from the front door. He locked it behind him on the way out and quickly made his way to the garage, taking little to no time to climb into his car.

He didn't think about possibly having second thoughts. He didn't think about anything at all except that he needed to get out of there. Starting the car, Sasuke pulled out of the garage and put his foot down on the accelerator, speeding out of the driveway and down the seemingly never–ending road that linked his house to Sakura's, as well as a few others'.

How long had he been there before she found him? Seven, maybe eight or nine hours?

"We've been looking everywhere for you."

She was irritated, annoyed and the glower on her face was one Sasuke had grown used to seeing nowadays, because lately, Sakura always had something to be angry about. Instead of answering, Sasuke remained laying down on the hood of his car, staring up at the rapidly darkening sky. It was dark enough that he could just about see Sakura's features as she strode up to him, standing in front of the car.

"Do you know how worried everyone is? How worried Itachi is?" Sakura demanded, placing her fists onto her hips.

They'd always been rather close, Itachi and Sakura. Sasuke had never really known what to think about that. It was strange how close they were, because Sakura was his friend, but not long after that thought, Sasuke had seen a picture of them together in Sakura's home. Itachi had been around five at the time, while Sakura was only a few months old. Sasuke was also in the picture, the two babies being held by Itachi, who was smiling softly at them. It was like he considered them both to be his siblings, despite the fact Sakura came from different parents.

Sighing with defeat and exhaustion, for she knew she wouldn't get an answer, Sakura tapped his leg. "Mind if I join you?"

Silently, Sasuke shook his head. All previous anger had left him and now… Now that feeling of not wanting to be alone had returned. And as Sakura eased back onto his car, laying down beside him, he found that that awful feeling of loneliness eased up when he was around her. It always had.

"He's going to kick your ass when you get home, you know." Sakura told him quietly, taking Sasuke's hand without permission and holding it gently. "Especially since you're driving the car."

Sasuke was too stunned to say much, simply staring at their joined hands as Sakura raised them up to the dark sky, spreading out her fingers. And it was like he was her shadow, because slowly, he was doing the same thing, not noticing her gentle smile as he allowed her to manipulate his hand, making it move in almost the same way as hers. His hand was much larger than hers, covering it completely when she pressed her fingers to his, comparing the sizes.

It was when Sakura linked their fingers together that she spoke again, her voice much softer. "How long have you been out here?"

"…A few hours."

"Sasuke–kun…" She sighed, closing her eyes. "Please don't be so reckless. We're in the middle of winter now and the temperature drops so low at night. You're not even wearing a jacket!"

Instead of replying, he remained silent, still watching their hands even as Sakura lowered them until they were resting on her stomach. They raised ever so slightly when she breathed in and lowered once more when she breathed out, the movement seeming to keep him in some sort of a trance. Sasuke couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off their hands being linked the way they were. Sakura had held his hand several times when they were kids.

Maybe it was because, back then, he'd only seen her as an annoyance? Sure, Sakura could still be annoying now if she wanted to be (sometimes she didn't even have to try), but… But something was different now and had been for quite a while. That attraction he had felt for her almost a year ago now… It was stronger. Sasuke had believed it would only last for a short while, had believed that it would probably just be a stupid, childish crush – his first, in fact.

How wrong he was.

She just wouldn't leave his mind and on a day that he usually preferred to spend alone unless he was with Itachi or Shisui, Sasuke found himself feeling so very grateful for her presence. Not even Naruto was able to get through to him at this time of year. Only Itachi or Shisui could do so. And now, it seemed like Sakura could, too. When the hell had that happened?

"Do you want to head back?" Sakura asked quietly. "Or for me to leave you alone?"

"No." Sasuke replied without hesitation, the words leaving his lips before he even realised what he was saying. "Stay with me."

Sakura had been right.

After driving her home and returning to his own, it was obvious that Itachi was angry.

Sasuke had just about entered the house when a hand seemed to come out of nowhere, his back slamming against the door and shutting it with a bang. The force was harsh enough to smack the breath out of him, leaving him trying to hide the fact that he was breathless.

"I told you not to drive your car unless I am with you."

He stayed silent, staring up into the angry, dark eyes of his brother as he glared back down at him. Beneath the anger, however, there was pain, worry and relief. Usually, Itachi was not one to act out in anger, was not one to physically assault another person or cause harm, but everybody had their limits and it seemed Sasuke had pushed him close to those limits today with his disappearing act.

It… comforted him, in a strange way, to know that Itachi cared so much.

Itachi regarded him for a moment, watching his brother before he sighed and released him. "I cannot lose you too, Sasuke. Please don't act so recklessly."

His eyes lowered at the look in Itachi's eyes, not used to seeing him so revealing with his emotions. "I'm sorry, nii–san."

"Why did you do it?"

"I…" Sasuke frowned. "I don't know."

"Did Sakura find you?" He nodded, earning him a sigh. "I knew she would be able to talk some sense into you. Come, Sasuke. You're freezing. There's some tea on the table that I have just made."

He followed without a word, wondering what Itachi meant by saying he knew Sakura would be able to talk sense into him.

A/N - This one is for ukatoemina. You have to be one of my most loyal readers/reviewers and I really hope your day gets better for you! Just keep your head high and read or think about plenty of ItaSaku or SasuSaku. It will cheer you up, I promise ;-)

I'll try and update Saviour as soon as possible, but I'm still in the middle of writing the chapter. Hopefully, it'll be done soon!