A/N: So I have had a couple people comment about how Rose's reaction to Dimitri's story was a bit OOC for her. I agree, maybe it was. However, I have always felt that Richelle made Rose a little too forgiving. Yes, I know it wasn't Dimitri, but it doesn't change the fact that what he did hurt her. I think Richelle could've acknowledged that a little more. Besides, what Dimitri did to Katya was way worse than anything he did to Rose. Also, Rose is confused and a little scared. Her feelings will be better explained in this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it.

ROSE

I leaned against the bookshelf in Lissa's study trying to get control over my emotions. I swiped at the tears in my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt and took deep breaths. Of all the things I expected to hear in this conversation, the truth was a million times worse, and I wasn't sure I could handle it.

I was only semi-aware of Lissa and Christian having a whispered argument over by the desk, but it didn't seem important enough to pay attention to. No, the important thing was figuring out what I was going to do about this situation with Dimitri, and how I felt about him.

Was it wrong to still love him after hearing this? And what about that poor girl whose life he destroyed? Would it be right for me to cuddle up with him after knowing what he did to her? Would I even want to?

Those questions ran through my mind, and I had no idea how to answer them. I was sure I still loved him, but I felt guilty for it.

The door to the study opened and closed again, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Christian was gone. Now, I could talk to Lissa and figure out how to deal with my feelings.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Christian voice said from across the room. I looked up, surprised to see that Lissa was the one who left. I would've asked him why he had stayed, but his words added anger to my already churning emotions.

"Christian, I don't need your attitude right now." I snapped. "So if you aren't going to say something, helpful then leave."

"Oh, I've got plenty of helpful things to say, but you aren't gonna like any of them." He responded, coming to stand beside me.

"So is there a chance, you won't say them?"

"Nope, because you need to hear them."

I sighed and slid to the floor. It would've taken too much energy that I didn't have to walk back to the armchair. Christian slid down beside me.

"First of all, I think you need to know how hard it was for him to tell you this." He began. "It took him five glasses of whiskey to get through the story with me, but that wasn't because he cared about my reaction. No, he was afraid that I was going to tell him there was no chance you'd be able to forgive him for this. He's so afraid this was going to be the thing to make you stop loving him. And I stupidly assured him that wouldn't be the case. I told him you loved him and nothing would ever change that. I honestly didn't believe you would make a liar out of me."

"I never said I didn't love him, any more." I snapped.

"You didn't have to." Christian gestured to the garbage can. "Your display a few minutes ago said it all."

I gave him my best give-me-a-break-look.

"Well, I'm sorry hearing that the man I love and am currently having sex spent weeks raping an innocent girl, because she looked like me made me lose my lunch. You sure looked like you were having a hard time holding onto your dinner. I think you even turned a little green."

"That's not the part I was talking about." He replied. "Hearing those things would've been enough to churn even the strongest of stomachs. No, I was referring to the things you said to him; the way you rejected his comfort. Those things said I hate you louder than if you had shouted at him."

I sighed. He was right. I handled the situation wrong, but could you really blame me? Dimitri's story had stirred up so many confusing emotions in me. I couldn't be expected to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything was going to be okay. I had to figure out what I was feeling first.

"I know. I should've handled it better." I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking. I didn't want to fall apart in front of Christian. I was sure he wouldn't know how to handle it, which is why I wished Lissa had been the one to stay. "I hurt him, I know, but look at it from my point of view for a minute.

"I have loved Dimitri since the moment I met him—even though I wouldn't have admitted it back then—and I still love him after everything that I've heard tonight. But this is different from anything he has done as a Strigoi."

"How?" He asked.

"Because he destroyed a girl's life, Christian." I answered, running my hand through my hair. "He didn't just kill her like he did his other victims. And he didn't kidnap her to use as bait for me. He used her as an unwilling replacement for me." I swiped hard at the tears that were threatening to poor down my face. God, why didn't Lissa stay? "He kept her locked up for his pleasure. Not even giving her the option of death.

"Yes, I still love him, but how can I go on living the way we are? Knowing what I know? How I am I supposed to kiss him? Or lie with in bed with him? Or have sex with him? Without thinking about her and what he did to her? How I am supposed to tell him I love him without seeing her face in my head, and imagining all the things he did to break her?"

"By reminding yourself, that it wasn't really him, Rose." Christian said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Because it wasn't. Yes, it looked like him, but it didn't think like him. The dhampir Dimitri would never hurt someone like that. The dhampir Dimitri would kill anyone who hurt someone like that."

"Could you do that?" I asked. "If Lissa all of a sudden decided to do that to some poor teenage boy, could you just act like it didn't happen?"

"If it was because she wasn't herself at the time, yes." Christian said.

"That's easy to say when you're not sitting in my position." I snorted.

"Nothing about this is going to be easy, Rose, for any of us, especially not for Dimitri. That's why he needs you and your love. He hated himself for everything he did as a Strigoi, you know that. He hates himself even more for what he did to Katya. And no matter how hard we try, I don't think he's ever going to stop hating himself, but he's learning to live with it. He's starting to understand that he is worthy of forgiveness, and that's because of you, Rose.

"Your love for him and your ability to forgive him for those things are what keep him going. If he loses those things, I don't know if he'll be able to survive it. Don't take them from him."

"I do love him, but how can I reconcile my feeling for him after knowing what he did? He ripped a girl's life apart in the worst possible way. How can we move forward?" I asked.

Christian shrugged.

"Just tell him you love him, and go from there. This isn't a problem with an easy solution. It's gonna take time, but isn't your love worth it?"

"Of course it is."

"Then tell him that, and let everything else fall into place."

I nodded at his suggestion and did something very uncharacteristic for me. I laid my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence for a long moment as I turned over everything he just said. He was right. This wasn't something the words sorry or love could fix with the snap of a finger. It was going to take time. I imagined there would be a lot of tears and angry words, but Dimitri and I loved each other. We would get through it together. I just had to let him know that I was still on bored.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped when I realized Christian had been the one to talk me through this one. It was amazing how far we had come since he first started hanging out with Lissa.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Just thinking about how far we've come since you and Lissa got together." I answered. "And I'm amazed at how much you've changed."

"Really?"

"Yes. Back then you were a snarky asshole who I wished I could punch in the face." I explained with another little chuckle.

"And now?"

"Well, you are still a snarky asshole who I wish I could punch in the face." I laughed again as his mouth dropped open and he placed his hand over his heart in a mock heart expression. "But I now count you as one of the people I would do anything for. You really are a good friend Christian, and sometimes I don't know what I'd do if you weren't in my life."

"Just don't tell anyone, okay? I've got a reputation to keep up." He laughed. I gave him a gentle punch on the shoulder.

"Your secret's safe with me."

"Good, now go talk to Dimitri."

KATYA

As promised, I ate everything on my plate, even though I started to feel overstuffed close to the end. I didn't want to get Adam into any trouble, but I had also learned not to turn down food when it was offered. My weeks in captivity had taught me that I never knew where my next meal was coming from. Besides, I needed to be at full strength if I was expected to handle Rebekah tonight. Marcus may have been brutal with the sex, but Rebekah was a million times worse with general torture. She was a horribly sadistic vampire, and I wanted nothing more than to rip her pretty blond hair right out of her head.

I knew the chances of that happening were extremely slim, so I'd settle for giving her a hard time when she was having fun. I don't know what it was about Adam's visit but, all of a sudden, I wanted to fight. I wanted to go down kicking and screaming. It was a feeling I hadn't had since a couple days after Dimitri took me prisoner. I guess if Adam was going to fight for me, then the least I could do was fight for me too.

The door opened again only a few short minutes after I finished my meal. I looked up hoping to see Adam coming back to give me a little more company. I was disappointed to see Rebekah walking in and closing the door behind her.

I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself for what was to come. I would not allow her to break me anymore than she already had.

"You ate." Rebekah smirked as she walked over to the cage and discovered my empty plate. "I must admit, I'm a little disappointed about that. I was so looking forward to tying you down and force feeding it to you. No matter." She clapped as her smirk grew wider. "There are a million other fun things we can do while Marcus is away. But first, I think I need to change into something a little more comfortable."

She walked over to the large oak dresser on the other side of the room and swapped her cocktail dress for a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. She also pulled her hair back into a messy bun. Great, she only pulled her hair back when she meant business. I guess I really was in for some trouble tonight.

When she finished, she walked over to the cage and unlatched it. "Come." She said as if I were a dog. The me before my chat with Adam would've just done it, but if I was going to fight, I may as well start now, right. I crossed my arms over my chest and just glared at her.

She snorted. "Marcus will be so happy to know that our feisty little pet is back, but I'm not in the mood to deal with her. So get out here, now." She growled.

"Make me." I said.

She snorted again but reached into the cage, grabbing a handful of my hair and yanking me out of the cage. I squeaked a little in pain, but didn't give her the satisfaction of a bigger reaction. She dragged me over to the bed, I scrambled to keep up, gritting my teeth through the pain shooting through my scalp. She released me, and sat on the bed.

"Now, how about a proper greeting?" She said sitting on the bed and putting her feet in front of my face.

I swallowed in disgust as I stared at her foot. This was something she and Marcus had me do every time they played. They said it reinforced the idea of my position in life, and I hated it.

"Do it, now." Rebekah said noticing my hesitance. "Or I will make you kiss something else, and I can promise it will be more unpleasant."

I had pretty good idea of what she was talking about, and if I had to choose between her ass and her feet, I would choose her feet every time. At least, she couldn't suffocate me with her feet. I leaned forward and placed a few gentle kisses on her.

"Good girl." She said and I could hear the smirk in her voice. "Keep going until I tell you to stop."

DIMITRI

I walked out of Lissa's study unsure about how I felt about Rose's reaction. Sure, it was everything that I had expected it would be, but I was still extremely hurt by it.

I knew this pill would be a little harder for her to swallow than anything else I did as a Strigoi, but I had been waiting for her to remind me that I wasn't myself back then. I was waiting to hear the words she whispered to me every time we talked about my time as a Strigoi.

"It's alright." She would whisper. "It wasn't the dhampir who did those things. It was a monster, and the monster's gone now. It can't hurt anyone anymore. You are Dimitri, the dhampir, again. None of that other stuff matters."

Then she would tell me she loved me and hold me while I cried. I hadn't expected this conversation to end that way. I knew it was too serious an infraction for her to overlook, especially the reason why I did it. How could she ever forgive me for hurting someone like that? How could she forgive me for replacing her with an unwilling victim? No, I hadn't expected her to do any of that, but I had hope.

Christian had given me hope that she would be able to forgive me for this. He had convinced me that our love would survive, but I realized that was a false hope. The monster had gone too far this time, and I knew it. There was no way Rose would forgive me for this.

True, I had expected this would be the way things would turn out, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. The fear and hate in her eyes when she looked at me were like a bullet through my heart. Rose hated me. I couldn't blame her, but God, did it hurt. It hurt more than the months at St. Vladimir's when we had to pretend like we didn't love each other. Hell, it hurt worse than the weeks after Lissa restored me when I tried to convince her that I didn't love her anymore. It even hurt more than seeing her with Adrian Ivashkov.

Because, through all of that, I knew that she loved me, and if Rose still loved me, I could make it through anything. Now, though, I didn't know if I could even live through the next hour. Rose hated me.

Her words rang in made head as I made my out of Lissa's "house" and headed toward the gym. "Don't touch me!" She had said. I never thought I'd hear her say those words and they were like a razor in to my skin.

"Dimitri, wait?" I heard Lissa's voice just as I made it out the door. I stopped surprised that she had chosen to come after me. I thought for sure she'd be comforting Rose and talking about all the ways they hated me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked catching up to me.

"There's nothing to talk about." I said continuing my walk toward the gym. "Rose hates me. Nothing else matters."

Lissa sighed and linked her arm with mine. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, and I appreciated it. Unfortunately, nothing could comfort me right now.

"She doesn't hate you." Lissa answered. "None of us do."

"You didn't see the look in her eyes. She hates me." I argued.

"Maybe, or maybe she just needs time to process everything." Lissa said. "This is a lot, even for Rose. I'm still having a hard time processing it. Just give her some time, okay. She'll come around."

"What if she doesn't?" I asked.

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it." Lissa said as we entered the building that housed the gym.

"It won't be worth it without her."

"Don't say that. It's always worth it."

"Maybe." I thought about Katya living in that hellhole with Marcus and Rebekah. Perhaps, it would be worth moving forward if only to get her out of there. I didn't know what I'd do without Rose after that, but I'd "cross that bridge when I came to it."

"Why do I get the feeling there's more to the story?" Lissa asked. Her ability to read people, especially me never ceased to amaze me. I didn't think anyone would ever know me better than Rose, but Lissa was a close second, and I always found myself wondering why. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she saved me.

"Because there is. A lot more, actually." I told her. We had entered the gym area by now and I went immediately to the sand bag.

"Tell me." Lissa said, sitting down on the weight bench beside me.

I took a deep breath, and launched into the rest of the story while giving the sand bag the worst beating of its life.

KATYA

I continued to kiss Rebekah's feet for hours until she grabbed me by the hair and yanked me into a kneeling position.

"Don't move." She growled, walking over to the closet and pulling out a decent length of rope. "Marcus my like it when you fight, but I find it extremely annoying. Besides, I like my victims helpless." She laughed as she tied my hands behind my back then, using the same length of rope, tied my ankles together. I was completely helpless in my kneeling position. "We'll leave your mouth open, though," She continued tapping my lips with a perfectly manicured nail. "I like listen to you whimper and scream. However, I don't think you really need your eyes for anything." She chuckled placing a blindfold over my eyes.

My heart rate picked up as I struggled a little against the ropes. It was one thing to be tied up and helpless, but a completely different one to not know what was coming. If you didn't know what was coming, you couldn't defend yourself against it. I didn't like that at all.

"Now," Rebekah laughed at my increased heart rate. "Marcus asked me to make sure you were punished for your disrespectful attitude this afternoon, so that's what we are going to do first."

Before I could even react to those words, I was gasping for air. It wasn't that I couldn't breathe. I mean, my lungs were working just fine, but it was like someone was taking the air away from me. Just like that, I understood what was going on.

Rebekah was using her control over air on me. She was the only vampire I had met who could do this, but it was her favorite form of torture. I could actually hear her laughing as I struggled to get air in my lungs. I even tried to form words to beg her to stop, but it wasn't working.

"I'm sorry." Rebekah said in mock sympathy. "Are you having trouble breathing? Let me help you with that."

I felt the air return to me immediate area and gulped it like a man gulped water in a desert. Only it was coming back to fast and strong. I was getting too much. I could feel it pressing against my mouth and nose making it impossible to get a decent breath. After a while I started gagging on it.

Rebekah continued to laugh as she smothered me with the air.

"This is just too much fun." She said releasing me. I gasped for air as she continued to laugh, but she wasn't finished, yet.

Even as I gasped for breath, I felt an insane pressure squeezing my entire body. It felt like she was making all the air converge around me and squeeze me. It felt like someone was punching me in the gut and hitting me in the head over and over.

"Please, stop." I begged unable to take it anymore. "It hurts."

"Good." Rebekah laughed as she went back to depriving me air.

ROSE

I knew exactly where I would find Dimitri when I left Christian. We were too much alike for him to be anywhere else, really. When we were angry or frustrated we hit the gym Usually, the sand bag where we could imagine beating the person causing our aggravation.

Sure enough, when I walked in, there he was beating the sand bag while taking to Lissa. She had a look of concern and determination on her face, and I wondered what they were talking about. I would have to find out later, but I had more important things to worry about right now.

I had to make sure Dimitri understood how I was feeling right now. I leaned against the door and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Hey, Comrade." I called across the room. What better way to show him how I feel than using my old nickname for him?

Dimitri froze at the sound of my voice, but Lissa looked right at me. Like I said, I had gotten very good at reading her over the few weeks without the bond. There was a question in her eyes as she stared at me. I nodded slightly.

"I'll leave you two to talk." She said. "Fill her about the rest, and we will hash out the details together."

Dimitri, who had yet to look at me, nodded. Lissa rose, gave him a kiss on the cheek and met me at the door.

"Take it easy on him." She whispered before leaving us alone.

"It would be a lot easy to talk, Comrade, if you would look at me." I said trying to put as much Rose attitude into the sentence as possible.

My sentence seemed to thaw him out a little. He turned to me slowly and met my gaze. The fear and sadness in his eyes broke my heart. It hurt to know that I had been the one to put it there. He flashed me a small, sad smile.

"It used to make me so mad when you called me that." He said as he walked toward me. "Now, I'm relieved to hear it. I didn't think you'd even want to speak to me again, let alone be affectionate with me."

I sighed, meeting him halfway.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that."

"Don't be." He responded. "It was nothing more than I expected, and nothing less than what I deserved."

"No." I shook my head. "You don't deserve to be treated like that."

"You know what I did." He argued.

"No, you didn't do that, Dimitri. It was the monster, and he's gone now."

"You don't believe that. I saw it in your eyes back there." He gestured in the general direction of Lissa's place. "You think that's still me."

"No, I don't."

"But you're scared and disgusted by what I did."

"Yes, but mostly, I'm confused, Dimitri."

"What do you mean?" He asked sinking onto a machine that worked the pectoral muscles. I wanted to go to him and put my arms around him, but I wasn't sure I was ready for that just, yet. Instead, I sunk onto the floor beside him. It was the best I could do at the moment.

"I still love you, Dimitri, you need to that." I said. "But I know I shouldn't, not after this. I can't imagine ever not loving you, though."

"So what's that mean?" he questioned.

I reached up and took his head in mind.

"It means we do what we always do: Keep on loving each other and figure the rest out later."

A/N: Well, what do you guys think? I'm sorry if it is kind of lame. I wasn't originally going to put this chapter in, but I thought you guys needed to see the reasons behind Rose's reaction and understand what she was really feeling. I hope this helps. Also, only one more chapter of talking before they take action.

I have one question, though. Lissa will be asking for volunteers to go to Russia and help with Katya's rescue. Among the volunteers will be Eddie, Abe, and Janine. I'm not sure who else I want to include. If you guys have any suggestions, let me know. I was thinking Adrian, but I'm not sure he will be in the right mental state, yet. Let me know what you guys think.