A/N: I am so excited! I have finally figured out where I want this story to go. This chapter is really going to start setting things up.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter. I am kind of excited for where this is going.

ROSE

I sighed and sank into my favorite armchair. I had known we would have to have this conversation eventually, but I had hoped we could wait until Katya was saved and I had a better idea of how I was feeling about everything. Planning this raid had given me a good enough excuse to stop thinking about my confusing feelings for Dimitri. Now that I was forced to talk about them in greater detail than we had, I had no idea what I was going to say.

There was no doubt in my mind that I still loved Dimitri even through the horrible things he had done to that poor girl, and I still trusted him to have my back in a fight. But I couldn't help feeling guilty about all of that.

What kind of person could still be in love with a man who would keep a child locked up as his own personal sex slave? Yes, I understood that my Dimitri wasn't in control of himself when it was happening, but it doesn't change the fact that a young girl's life is forever altered and possibly destroyed because of what he did. How could I look him in the eye and make love to him, knowing that poor, defenseless Katya looked in those same eyes begging him to stop as he raped her? What kind of a decent human being could do that?

I didn't know, and that's what was going to make this conversation so difficult to get through. I wanted to love him and be there for him, but it felt like a betrayal to Katya.

"Talk to me, Roza." Dimitri said as he knelt in front of me. The look on his face told me this wasn't the first time he has spoken to me. I was so lost in thought, I hadn't heard him. Even if I had, I wouldn't have known what to say. I still didn't, but I had to say something. If only to get us through these next few days. "Please." The desperation in that last word hit me harder than anything else.

Despite my reassurances that this hadn't affected my feelings towards him, he was still terrified that I was going to walk away from him. I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. The fact that his emotions where this much of an open book made me realize just how scared he was. He never let anyone see this much of his heart, and it scared me a lot.

"What do you want me to say, Dimitri?" I asked, swallowing the lump his emotions brought into my throat.

"Tell me what you're really feeling." He said with the same desperation as before. "And not the sugar coated version you gave me back at the gym. I know that you still love me, but there is more to it than that, and you know it. Tell me what it is."

I took a deep breath trying to compose myself. I hate that this whole thing had completely shattered my tough Rose exterior. I hated being this vulnerable. I took comfort in knowing Dimitri was the only one who could see me like this. I didn't think I could deal if the others saw it.

"I feel guilty, Dimitri." I told him. "I feel like a terrible person." I closed my eyes and swallowed hard again trying not to let my tears escape.

"Why? Roza," He grabbed both my hands and squeezed them tightly in his. "You have no reason to feel like that. This one's all on me. I'm the one who hurt her, not you. You've done nothing wrong."

"Haven't I?" I asked. "You told me what you did to her, and I'm still sitting in front of you. You ripped a young girl's innocence from her, and I haven't run for the hills. I still love you despite all of it. How is that not wrong?"

He sighed. "Because love isn't logical or rational, and it doesn't make sense. We love each other, though, and obviously, something like this isn't supposed to get in the way of that."

I shook my head and pulled my hands away from him. I knew it was a cruel gestured considering how terrified he was of me walking away from him, but I just couldn't handle the words he was saying. For someone who always seemed to know me better than I knew myself, he had no idea what I was trying to tell him now.

"You don't get it." I snapped. "I have been distracting myself with further discussion of how to get Katya away from those monsters because whenever I think about you and me, all I can think about is how one earth I could still love you after hearing this."

He flinched at those words and hurt flashed across his face.

"So you're saying that you don't want to love me anymore?" He asked in a trembling voice.

"Yes." I said, realizing that wasn't the whole truth. I did still want to love him. He was the center of my world and had been since he came into it. I didn't want to lose that, again. "No. I don't know. I can't imagine my life without you Dimitri, even when you were Strigoi, you were there. I can't remember how I felt before you came into my life, but if you were to ever truly leave it there would be a whole in my heart forever. I can't lose you."

The tears I had been trying so hard to hold back were slowly starting to leak out. I just couldn't keep it together anymore. My emotions were warring with what I knew about right and wrong. I loved him, but he hurt this girl in the worst possible way.

The tiny voice in my head kept reminding me that it wasn't the real Dimitri; he had no control over what he had done. Yet, all I saw when I closed my eyes was strigoi Dimitri tearing into an innocent young girl just because she looked like me. How I was I supposed to make love to him, or even hold him when I could see was him hurting this innocent girl.

Why couldn't Dimitri understand this war I had going on in my head and heart?

"Then what's the problem?" He asked, reaching up and wiping my tears away.

"I know it wasn't really you, Dimitri." I said not bothering to compose myself. "I know on the inside, it was a completely different person, but on the outside, it was still you. When I close my eyes, I can see you hurting her while she cried and screamed and pleaded with you to stop." I had to take a deep breath. My words had started to get incoherent. "How I am supposed to make love to you? Or even let you hold me when that's all I see when I look at you? How I am supposed to go on with this relationship like nothing happened, when I know what you did to her?"

He shook his head and walked to the other side of the room. His control had slipped as much as mine had. I could see every bit of anger, frustration, and sadness that my words had caused him. I wished I knew what to say or do to reassure him of my feelings, but I couldn't; not when I could be sure what they were.

"So what does this mean?" He asked me.

"I don't know, Dimitri." I said at a loss for words. "I guess it means I need more time." I hated saying the words, but I knew they were the right ones. I needed to figure things out for myself. I needed to be able to reconcile my feelings with this new knowledge and be able to put it all in perspective, and that was something I couldn't do until after we got Katya and the others out of that hell hole. "I need time to process and figure out what's right for all of us."

"No." He shook his head, walking back over to my chair. He leaned down on the arms so that he was looking me directly in the eye. "Please, don't say that. I love you, Roza. I need you. I can't do this without you."

More tears escaped at the desperation in his voice. I knew how much he needed me, especially after all of this, but I couldn't do it. Not now when I felt so lost and confused. I needed time to figure this shit out. I needed to be able to think and decide things.

"I'm sorry." I said in barely above a whisper. "I will have your back during this fight. Hell, I will always have your back, no matter what happens after this, and I know you will have always have mine. I won't let this affect our professional guardian relationship, but I need to take a step back from out personal one for a while."

Saying those words hurt more than when I discovered he had been turned into a strigoi. Hell, it hurt worse than the hours I spent thinking he was dead. At least in those situations, I had no choice in the matter; they just happened, and there wasn't anything either one of us could do to stop it. Now, I could easily pull him into my arms and tell him none of what happened before mattered. I needed to be away from him for a while, though. I needed to figure out how I felt on my own.

"How can say that?" Dimitri snapped, pulling away from me. I had a feeling he was trying hard to stay in control of his anger. "Of course this is going to affect our professional guardian relationship. Our personal relationship is what makes our professional relationship work. It is what gives us our connection in the field."

"Because we both understand that our duty to the Moroi is more important than anything else, even our personal relationship. Neither of us would do anything to endanger the lives of Moroi or our fellow guardians. We will do what we have to do to protect our charges and save innocent lives. Our personal relationship will be put aside until we are ready to address it."

He didn't say anything in response to my little speech. He didn't have to. We both knew that we would put this raid before anything else. We would make sure our job was done before we address our feelings. It was how we were trained and those ideals came before anything else.

"Please, Roza." He finally whispered. His anger had faded to sadness when he spoke. The desperation in his voice broke my heart, but I had to stay firm. "Don't give up on me. I can't get through this if you do."

I got out of the chair and joined him by the window. I put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not giving up." I said. "I just need time to figure out my feelings."

"If that's what you need then I will give it to you." He said not looking at me. "Just remember that I will always love you. Nothing will change that."

He pulled his arm from my grip and walked out the door. It slammed shut behind him, and I dropped to my knees breaking into a million pieces.

KATYA

I woke feeling like I had been run over by a truck. Every inch of my body throbbed and ached. The fact that I was dangling an inch or two off the ground by my arms didn't help matters. In fact, I was pretty sure it was the throbbing in my shoulders that had woke me in the first place.

It took me a moment to remember what had caused my latest bout of unconsciousness, but when I did my head immediately snapped up. Adam had been caught trying to help me. Even worse, he had been caught swearing that he would help me to escape. Rebekah had hurt her him and told them that he'd be punished when Marcus returned.

I didn't know how long I had been out. For all I knew, Marcus could've returned and they could've killed him. I didn't want him to die, especially without me having a chance to say goodbye.

My eyes immediately fell on him when they opened, and I breathed a sigh of relief. He was alive and chained in the same manner I was. He was conscious and staring at me as though afraid I was dead. He was a little bruised up, but no worse for the wear.

"Are you okay?" Adam asked as our eyes met.

"I feel like I've been run over by a truck." I said, trying to fight past the grogginess I was still feeling.

"If you could see yourself, you'd understand why." He said with an attempt at a playful smile.

I couldn't make myself smile back. I knew I was probably covered with bruises and God only knew what other kinds of scars, but I wasn't worried about me. Marcus and Rebekah wouldn't be angry enough to kill me. Adam, on the other hand, might not make it to see tomorrow.

"What about you?" I asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He said. "Marcus returned a couple hours ago, but they wanted to wait until you woke up before they punished me."

"Do you have any idea what they are going to do?" I asked as panic seized me.

I didn't want him to hurt because of me, and I certainly didn't want him to die. He should've been able to get enough money to get out of here and move on with his life. He shouldn't have had to suffer and possibly die because of me.

"No." He said. "They refused to talk about it the couple of times they came in to check on you. I need to tell you something before they do whatever it is they are going to do. I need you to know something just in case I don't live through this."

"Adam, don't." I begged tears welling in my eyes. "You are going to live through this. You have to."

"In case I don't, I need you to know that I love you." He continued as if I hadn't spoken. "I have loved since the moment that monster brought you into the club." The tears began spilling over as he continued talking. "And I will always love you from this moment forward. Nothing they can do to me will change that."

I opened my mouth to tell him that I felt the same way. I didn't know how it happened, but I had somehow fallen in love with him over my months of captivity, and I honestly didn't know what I would do if he died.

The door slammed open cutting of my reply to reveal Marcus and Rebekah. Marcus was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a wife beater. There was a sadistic smile on his face and an evil glint in those red ringed eyes. Rebekah was behind him. She too was in a pair of jeans and a simple white tank top. Her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She looked like Christmas had come early this year, and I couldn't help but gulp at the expression on her face.

"There is one thing we can do to you, dear Adam, that will make you stop loving her." Marcus said approaching Adam. "One thing that will make you forget you've ever had any feelings for her. I can make you look at her like nothing but food, and a good fuck." He smile got wider as he got closer to Adam.

Adam seemed to understand what Marcus was talking about, because he paled slightly. I wish I understood, but Marcus's words were completely foreign to me. I didn't take my eyes off the two of them, though.

"It won't be me." Adam said to Marcus. "It will be an evil, empty shell of the man I was. The man who loves her will be dead, and will go on loving her forever."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, unable to stop myself. The only creatures I knew of who could die and still go on living were vampires, but I didn't understand how turning Adam could talk so much away from him. I knew Rebekah, Dimitri, and Marcus were evil, soulless monsters, but I had assumed they had been like that before they were turned. Surely, someone as sweet and tender as Adam wouldn't become like them after a change.

A slap to the side of my head let me know I should've been paying more attention to myself and less to Adam and Marcus. Rebekah had snuck up on me and punished me for speaking without permission.

"Shut up." She snapped. "No one was talking to you."

"Keep your hands off her." Adam snapped, forgetting about his conversation with Marcus.

"Lover boy, you are in no position to tell me what to do." Rebekah snapped and, to prove her point, she punched me in the stomach. I doubled over as much as my bindings would allow as I gasped to get my breath back. Rebekah chuckled. "Say another word about it, and I will start breaking bones."

That shut Adam up pretty quickly.

"You know," Marcus mused. "I don't know what would be more fun; our original plan or keeping him in here like this. Do you have any idea how fun it would be to use each one to control the other? We could finally have our toy completely under our control. I wonder how far she would go to save his life."

Without warning, Marcus punched Adam in the face. Blood spurted out from his nose, and he cried out in pain. Marcus had broken his nose with a simple punch.

"Adam!" I screamed unable to do anything else. Rebekah laughed. Marcus landed another punch in his gut this time and didn't even give him a chance to catch his breath before knocking his legs out from under him. Adam cried out again as his arms were forced to support the extra weight unexpectedly. Marcus went in for another punch. "STOP!" I screamed as loud as I could. "Leave him alone. Please."

Marcus stopped and turned to me with an evil smile twisted on his lips. "And what will you do for me, bitch?" He asked.

"Anything." I said, trying not to cry.

"Really." His smiled widened. "Rebekah let her down. Let's test that."

Rebekah undid the chains holding me up, and I fell to the floor. Both laughed, but neither did anything to help me off the floor. Instead, Marcus reached into his belt and pulled out a dagger. He tossed it on the floor in front of me.

"Pick it up, and do exactly as you're told with it." He ordered me. "And if you try anything stupid, I will kill him."

I gulped and picked the dagger up off the floor with shaking hands and looked to Marcus for further instructions.

"Don't do anything, Kat." Adam said. "Just let them kill me. Please."

"Shut up!" Rebekah yelled, pressing the heel of her stiletto into my foot. I let out a little whimper of pain, but it was enough to silence Adam.

"Now," Marcus smiled. "I want you to cut my name into your arm. I want it deep enough to scar, but not to kill you. Rebekah will bandage it later."

I gulped and shot Adam a look of apology. He didn't like to see me in pain, but my pain was better than watching him get beat to death. So I took a deep breath and did as Marcus said. It was a slow painful process. I was proud to say I made it halfway through before breaking into sobs of pain as I dragged the dagger across my skin.

I didn't spare a glance for Adam. I wasn't sure I could go through with this if I saw how much my hurting myself was hurting him. I did hear sniffles coming from the other side of the room and knew he was crying for me.

When I finally finished, I dropped the dagger and held my bleeding arm up so Marcus could see.

"Good girl." Marcus smiled. "Now, do Rebekah's name on your other arm. I want you to be reminded of who your Masters are every time you look at your arms."

I didn't hesitate for a second when following this order. I knew Adam would get hurt if I didn't listen to what Marcus had said. It was a much slower process because I had to use my right hand—I was left handed—but I somehow managed to get through this one with only a few whimpers of pain.

Adam continued to cry, but didn't say anything. He didn't want Rebekah to hurt me anymore than she already had.

As Marcus had ordered, I didn't make the cuts deep enough to kill me, but I had lost a lot of blood since I started slicing my own skin. By the time I finished Rebekah's name, I was dizzy and my vision was blurring a little. I held both trembling arms up to Marcus to show that I had done exactly as he ordered.

"Excellent." Marcus smiled. "Rebekah, hold her up. I want to make sure she gets a good look at this."

Rebekah pulled me off the floor by my hair. I was too far gone from the blood loss to really feel it. My brain too fuzzy to even spare a thought to what Marcus was going to do to Adam. Rebekah moved her arms around my waist and pulled me close to her body. My arms were pinned to her stomach, but I was too weak to try to escape anyway.

Marcus grabbed Adam by the hair and yanked his head to the side, exposing his neck.

"No!" I screamed as Marcus's fangs pierced Adam's skin. "You said you wouldn't kill him if I did what you said." Tears were streaming down my face as I feebly struggled to get out of Rebekah's grip.

Rebekah's lips brushed my ear as she whispered,

"Marcus isn't killing him. He's awakening him."

A/N: What do you guys think? I hope you aren't too mad about what happened with Rose and Dimitri. I wasn't going to do it, but the muses sort of took that part in its own direction. I am a slave to the muses. I think it is a good idea for Rose to have some distance from him, anyway. As she said, she needs to be able to reconcile her feelings for Dimitri with the feelings of guilt knowing what he did to Katya. Just stick with me through this, okay. My muses know what they are doing.