A/N: So I really am trying to keep up with my stories, but my life is so hectic right now that I can only promise to keep the updates coming when I can. I refuse to leave these stories unfinished because that is my biggest pet peeve of fanfiction. They will be finished, it just might take a while.
And now the moment you have all been waiting for: The confrontation!
KATYA
"You can do this, Katya." Sonya said to me. "You are ready. As Rose promised, she and I will be here the whole time. If you wish for Dimitri to leave, all you have to do is ask."
"I know." I said trying to get my breathing under control. I wanted this and had asked for it, but it didn't make it any less terrifying.
Dimitri had been responsible for all the misery I had been put through this last year. He killed my father, kidnapped and raped me, and sold me to monsters who tortured me on a daily basis. I finally had the chance to confront him in what I am told is a safe environment. I wanted to take the chance no matter how idiotic it sounded. I could only hope that I could truly trust the Rose, Sonya, and the others.
Was I stupid to think I could really trust Rose? She did love Dimitri, even knowing what he had done to me. How could someone continue loving a person capable of all those horrible acts? Yet, she seemed so kind and caring. She did everything in her power to make sure I was safe and comfortable. She even kept Dimitri away from me; worried that seeing him would ruin my recovery.
She had even done a ton of research on how to help someone cope and recover from what I had been through. If she was willing to do all that for me, surely she wasn't as bad as Dimitri or Rebekah and Marcus. There had to have been some kind of good person inside her. Unless she was just trying to lead me into a false sense of security. What if she was just as twisted as the three of them?
What if she got some kind of sick pleasure out of getting me to trust her? What if she was going to enjoy seeing me fall apart when she finally reveals her true motives? If that was the case, though then why would she go through all of this elaborate set up? Surely, not all of the people involved were as twisted as the people I had dealt with before. Someone in this place had to be trustworthy.
"Relax." Sonya said placing a hand on my shoulder. "No one here is going to hurt you. I promise. If anyone tries, there are a lot of people here who are trained in combat. They would be bleeding before they could even lay a hand on you. And if Dimitri tries anything, which I doubt, Rose will deal with him."
"But how can I trust Rose when she loves the man who hurt me?" I asked. "If she is on his side, how can she be on mine?"
"Unfortunately, I can't give you an answer to that. All I can really say is that you will understand Rose's feelings once you have had a chance to talk to Dimitri about everything. Once you can actually see what we have been telling you. Only then can you truly understand why Rose still loves him even after knowing everything that he has done to you. I only ask that once you've spoken to him, you give him a chance to make it right. He is a healed man now. He's a good man who wants to help fix the damage he has caused. Please let him."
I didn't know what to say. She was asking me to forgive a man who had taken everything from me. My father, my freedom, my innocence, even the man I loved. She wanted me to forget everything that he had done to me and make amends. How did she expect me to allow the man that destroyed my life to make amends? Did she truly believe that was even possible? Even if he really was a different man now. How could I just let him back into my life? How could I show him any kind of positive emotions? He took everything from me.
"I know it won't be easy, but you both need it. And you truly won't understand until you have taken the time to speak with him. Please just give him a chance?"
A knock on the door saved me from having to give a response.
"Come in." I called as my heart rate picked up. The door opened and Rose stepped in. She looked more than a little nervous.
"He is waiting outside. I just wanted to come in and make sure that you were ready for him." She said. "He is willing to wait as long as it takes."
"Just let him come in, Rose." I said. "If I keep waiting for myself to be ready, I won't ever be able to do this. We all need to move forward and get on with our lives. This conversation is the only way to do that."
"Okay." Rose said. "Dimitri come in."
I took a deep breath as the door swung open again. Rose started to say something but once I caught site of the man stepping through the door, I was thrown back into that tiny closet he kept me in.
I could feel Dimitri's breath on my neck and his body pressing against mine. Bile rose in my throat as I remembered the way he whispered "Good puppy" in my ear. Panic seized me as I remembered his hands holding me down. I struggled harder and harder to get away from him, but I couldn't.
"Katya, listen to me." Sonya's voice broke through the horrible memories. "You are not in that closet with that man anymore. You are in a house among friends. Friends who will protect you from this man if they need to. Concentrate on my voice."
I flinched as someone touched my shoulders, but it was enough to pull me back to reality. I blinked a couple of times and found myself staring into Sonya's kind eyes.
"No one is going to hurt you here, child. Rose and I will not let them. Stay calm please."
"Don't compel her." Rose said.
"I know it won't help." Sonya said turning to look at Rose. "I am simply talking to her."
I looked up to see Rose nod and look back at the door. I looked at the door as well. Dimitri had frozen in the doorway. He looked unsure of whether or not he should walk in or simply leave. I knew if he left, I would never have the guts to do this again. I needed answers from him, and I wasn't going to let him walk away until I got them. Even if it meant reliving every horrible thing that he had done to me.
"Don't leave, please." I said in barely above a whisper. "I just need a minute." I took another deep breath as I watched Dimitri walk in and close the door behind him. He stood against the wall beside Rose as far away from me as possible.
"Are you alright now?" Sonya asked me.
"Yes. Just don't go too far away please."
Sonya and the other Moroi woman, Oksana, had become my lifelines in this last week. Their vampire gifts of healing had been helping me physically and emotionally. I was sure I wouldn't be able to have this conversation without one of the being present.
"I'm here for as long as you need me to be." Sonya moved to stand behind me, never letting go of my shoulders.
"As am I." Rose said stepping forward. "And there are ten guards on standby outside. Should we need them all I have to do is scream. I don't think they'll be necessary, but I want to make sure that you are completely comfortable at all times."
"Thank you, Rose." I said. I was trying very hard not to look at the man standing next to her.
"Dimitri has agreed to stay on this side of the room and will not come any closer without your permission." She continued explaining. "He will do his very best to make sure you stay comfortable and unafraid. If at any time you wish him to leave, he will do so. All you have to do is ask."
"Again thank you."
Rose moved from the wall to sit on the bed. I think she was trying to show that she hadn't chosen side. That she just wanted what was best for both Dimitri and I. I hoped that by the time this was over, I could understand why she refused to walk away from him.
"I'm not sure what to say." I started still unable to look at Dimitri. "I had imagined this day over and over again for so many months after you left me with Marcus and Rebekah. None of my scenarios ever came close to this. I always imagined I would be returning to your possession in shackles. It never even crossed my mind that you would lead a rescue party to save me from them.
"I don't quite understand all the circumstances that led to this happening, but it doesn't change what you did to me. It doesn't change the abuse that I suffered at your hands or the hands of the monsters you left me with. It doesn't make forgiveness any easier. And to tell you the truth, I don't know if I can or if I even want to forgive you. I know I want to move on from this, though. And the only way I can do that is to truly understand it.
"So the only thing I want from you right now is a reason. Why did you do it? And why me? There were so many humans in Russia. Why did it have to be me? Why couldn't you have just left my family alone? Why, Dimitri, why?"
I don't know where the boost of confidence and bravery came from, but by the end of the speech, I was looking him in the eye. The first thing I noticed was the red rings around his pupils were gone. The second thing was the tears that had been feeling his eyes. Was he really crying?
"Before I became the monster that destroyed your life, I fell in love with a woman. I had to hide and fight those feelings every day of my life because they were forbidden. She was under 18 and it went against everything we had been taught our how lives. It wasn't until just before I was forcefully turned into that monster that I finally gave into those feelings. We both did.
"When you become a Strigoi, you are supposed to lose all of your human emotions. You are supposed to become a creature that thrives on blood, power, lust, and anger. All the emotions that turn a person cold and cruel. Love is not supposed to remain.
"I can't say for sure what happened or why my feelings for Rose stayed, but I have an idea. I've come to realize when you love someone as deeply as I love Rose," He paused for a moment to give her a little smile. "It becomes something much greater than an emotion. Something that isn't easily gotten rid of. Becoming a Strigoi twisted that into something disgusting and perverted. I came to Russia to escape her and whatever consequences my feelings would bring.
"I hadn't counted on finding you. As you've probably noticed, you and Rose look very similar." It was true. Once I had adjusted to things enough to think about it, I realized that Rose and I could've been sisters. Twins, even. I have found myself wondering about on parentage on a couple of occasions. "When you're father begged for his life by telling me he had a daughter, I was only thinking about having sex and a quick meal before killing him." He paused visibly shuddered as he said this, and I wondered what he was thinking. "Then I saw you and I knew how to deal with my feelings for Rose. So I killed him and took you with me. And well, you know the rest."
"Unfortunately." I said trying to keep the resentment out of my voice. He did seem different. He spoke of what happened with remorse. He hadn't tried to hurt me at all since he walked in. There wasn't even anything hostile in the way he stood against the wall. He just looked sad and defeated. I couldn't just forgive him, though. That was too much to ask. "And what about Marcus and Rebekah? Why did you leave me with them?"
He sighed. "Do you mind if I have a seat on the bed?" He asked.
"Fine, but not any closer than that please." I had been trying very hard to keep myself from shaking. Sonya's hands hadn't left my shoulders since the moment Dimitri walked in and it was helping a great deal. I just didn't know if I could hold it together if he got to close.
"Just keep breathing, sweetie." Sonya whispered. "He won't hurt you. We won't let him."
I saw sadness and a little hurt sweep across his face as he sat beside Rose on the bed. It made me wonder if I wasn't the only one in this room still angry with him about what he did to me. Was he facing hostility and anger from some of his friends? Were he and Rose facing problems after hearing what happened to me?
"I don't know how well you kept track of time while you were with me, but I'm sure you remember that my attacks got more brutal towards the end of your time with me." Dimitri continued.
"Yes. I remember." I had to fight the shudder that went down my spine at the thought of those last few visits from him. I was sure I still had scars from them.
"That was because Rose had come searching for me. To kill me." He continued. "We had made a promise to each other that if the one of us had ever become a Strigoi the other would kill them. Rose was trying to fulfill her promise."
"I couldn't do it." Rose took over. "At least not then. I hadn't seen him in weeks, and he just appeared out of nowhere. I hesitated and that gave him the opportunity to knock me out and take me as his captive."
"He made you a prisoner too?" I asked.
"Not exactly." Rose said.
"I kept her locked up and used my Strigoi abilities to attempt to convince to make the change. I bit her and got her hormones running wild. I used those things to convince her to come to the dark side. She refused over and over again. And every refusal got me angrier and angrier."
"And you took it out on me." I finished for him.
"Yes, and I'm so sorry. You have to know that I had no control of my actions during that time. It was like…"
"Just keep going with the story right now. I need to know it all." And I wasn't ready to hear an apology from him. I just needed to know why this had happened to me. We could do the apology thing later when I was ready to forgive.
He looked down at the bed as if my words had somehow cut him. I couldn't find it in my heart to feel sorry for him yet. He really didn't deserve it. Not after what he had done to me. Rose placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"I knew I needed to get out there, but I couldn't find the motivation." Rose continued. "The night I finally found it, I broke out of the room he was holding me in and escaped."
"Was there a fight that night?" I asked as I remembered hearing a lot of screaming and crashing.
"Yes, Dimitri and I fought and killed most of the Strigoi in the house. I was attempting to get away and Dimitri was trying to make sure that I didn't get killed. He really wanted me to become a Strigoi with him so we could have an evil empire."
"She climbed out a window while I finished off the Strigoi for her." Dimitri said. "Once they were dead, I followed her. The chase led us to a bridge were after a small struggle, she staked me and got away."
"I thought I had killed him."
"A few more inches and she would've." Dimitri added as if he was chastising her. "As it was, she paralyzed me for a bit, but I managed to pull the stake from my chest and get back to the house. By then I was mad at her, and the Strigoi instincts intensified that. I wanted to find her, play with her for a bit, and kill her myself. I couldn't do that if I had a human with me."
"So why didn't you just kill me or something. Why send me to them?" I asked.
"I knew when Rose was gone that I would still need something to fill that pervertedness that came along with my linger feelings for her. I had every intention of coming back for you and buying you back from them. I knew they wouldn't let you lose the fear you had or sell you. Or anything like that. Giving you to them was insuring that I would get you back when I finished with Rose."
I didn't want to think about the irony of this situation. He had indeed gotten me back. I still wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. I was just glad to finally be getting the full story.
"So what happened after you left me? Everyone has been telling me that you have changed and I kind of see it. But how did it happen?"
"He found me." Rose said. "And tried to use my best friend and her boyfriend to lure me to him. It worked, but there were some things he hadn't counted on. My best friend, Lissa, who does the same thing Oksana and Sonya can do was able to charm a stake." Rose pulled something out of her pocket. "It is one of the only things that can kill a Strigoi." She said holding the silver stake up so I could get a better look at it. "But when charmed with spirit magic and wielded by a spirit user, it can restore a Strigoi to their original form."
"Queen Vasilisa had been practicing charming and staking without Rose's knowledge for a bit before I had taken her captive. She was hiding the stake. I didn't think to search her or Christian because Moroi aren't usually fighters. That's what dhampirs do. I should've known Lissa would be resourceful. They are Rose's closest friends after all."
"Anyway, somewhere in the middle of our fight, Lissa managed to stake Dimitri and restore him to the dhampir he used to be." Rose continued.
"I would've come back for you right away after it happened." Dimitri cut in. "But I had to convince the Moroi that I had in fact been changed back into a dhampir. Then Rose got framed and she and I had to be on the run for a little while. And I was selfish.
"You see, Rose was able to forgive me for everything I had done as a Strigoi, even for kidnapping and using the person she cares about most in this world as bait. She told me again and again that I was no longer the monster who did those things. She fought for our love, even when I didn't think I was lovable anymore. When I thought she deserved better. I was afraid that she wouldn't be able to love me when she heard about what I had done to you. I didn't want to tell her because I didn't want to lose her."
"So I had to suffer because you were afraid?" I asked indignantly.
"Yes, and I'm so sorry. I couldn't handle it if Rose had stopped loving me. I'm sure you feel the same way about Adam."
It was true but there was a big difference. No but Adam and myself had to suffer for our feelings for each other.
"When he finally told us," Rose continued for him. "He practically demanded that we come to Russia and save you, no matter what we had to do. We agreed and began the planning. And here we are."
I nodded unable to speak for a long time. It was a lot to absorb. I had lost everything over a man's love for a woman and he was here asking for my forgiveness. A few months ago, I probably would've denied him it, but the more I thought about it, the more I understood. I would've done anything for Adam and he for me. Even as a Strigoi, he had saved my life and, from what I was told, killed Rebekah. What would he do now that he was on his own without me? Would another woman suffer because his love for me was as deep as Dimitri's for Rose?
"What do we do now?" I asked. "How do we keep Adam from doing the same thing? How do I get the man I love back?" I still wasn't entirely sure I believed them, but if there was a chance that this could be done, I was going to take it. I wouldn't let someone else suffer the way I did because of my skepticism.
"The same way we got Dimitri back only Sonya will be the one staking Adam. Seeing as Lissa is now the Queen of the Moroi, it would be too risky to ask her to do it." Rose answered.
"In order to do that, though, don't we need to know where he is?" I pressed. "I don't think he is going to come after me the way Dimitri did with you."
"Probably not. That is why Dimitri and Sonya are going to go looking for him and Marcus. They are going to restore Adam and bring him back to you. And, hopefully kill Marcus."
"But how will they find him?" I pressed. "I'm not even sure where Marcus and Rebekah were planning on taking me."
"I came to Russia because it was my home." Dimitri sighed. "I'm hoping that Adam had the same idea. I need you to tell me everything you can about where he comes from."
"I don't know much." I shook my head. "We never had much time to talk about our personal lives. I just know how he ended up with Marcus and Rebekah."
"Any information you can give us will help. Abe has people who can help us fill in the blanks." Rose smiled at the thought of what her father could do when it came down to it.
"I don't know where he is from, but I know it isn't Russia." I explained. "He has been with Marcus and Rebekah for years. He is one of the few that get the privilege of moving around with them. He ran away from home when he was 13. His parents blamed him for the fire that killed his 10 year-old. The cause of the fire had never been determined. I don't know why his parents blamed him. He left and Rebekah found him. He joined them because he didn't have anywhere else to go. I don't know anything else."
"It doesn't matter." Rose told me. "That is more than enough for Abe to find out where he is from and who his family is. We should be able to track him down in no time."
"And what's going to happen to me while you look for him?" I asked. I wanted to get as far away from vampires as soon as possible. This new group seemed nice enough, but I didn't want to take any chances with them. When Adam was brought back to me, I was going to make him promise to keep me away from vampires forever.
"We have arranged for you to stay at the Moroi court."
A/N: What do you guys think? I know it is a little boring full of stuff you already know, but I hope I added enough to keep you from falling asleep. Please review.